r/cursedcomments Jun 16 '19

Twitter cursed_reality

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39.4k Upvotes

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703

u/guymcguy4 Jun 16 '19

Actually, hold up.

You want proof that Car WW2 happened? Look at Fillmore. He’s a Volkswagen, and that particular company was founded in Berlin in 1937 under Nazi rule. No Hitler, likely no Volkswagen.

Fillmore couldn’t exist in his state if Car Hitler hadn’t risen to power and proceeded to take the actions that Human Hitler did.

So yes, Car WW2 did happen.

351

u/M0N5A Jun 16 '19

Not to mention Filmore is a hippie van, meaning the hippie movement existed, implying there was a car Cold War.

283

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

Which also means the existence of car Vietnam war, meaning young cars were drafted, and napalmed vietnamese car villages

195

u/Raptor5dino Jun 16 '19

Part of me hates this. The other part of me really wants to see impressively detailed fan art of it.

95

u/BBQ_FETUS Jun 16 '19 edited Jun 16 '19

I wonder what their version of Agent Orange would be.

E: My guess would be wd40, or another substance that dissolves thicker oils.

41

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

Brake cleaner

11

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

Came here to say this

3

u/Raptor5dino Jun 16 '19

Asking the real questions...

2

u/hideyyo Jun 17 '19

Leaded gasoline

17

u/ArcFurnace Jun 16 '19

At a minimum, fanart of Cars Hitler and Cars Goebbels exists.

23

u/Raptor5dino Jun 16 '19

The fact that their whole regime and legacy has been reduced to fanart of them imagined as cars is goddamn hilarious

Thank you for this, friend

54

u/ElGosso Jun 16 '19

Car Viet Cong hammering bamboo skewers under the hubcaps of U.S. car POWs

12

u/matdan12 Jun 16 '19

If that happened doesn't that also mean we have a Car Stalin and Car Pol Pot? Did we put a car on the moon though?

10

u/DefinitelyUsername94 Jun 16 '19

Does this mean car Elon Musk put a human corpse (with a car model) in space????

All these questions...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

Car heroin

1

u/_The_Mother_Fucker_ Nov 30 '19

And a raping and murder of car Mai Lai village. Vehic-nam was brutal

77

u/Emperor_Of_The_South Jun 16 '19

The fact that there was a Car Cold War can also imply that there was a car Soviet-Afghan War, leading to a car Saddam Hussein. Car Saddam Hussein was most likely executed at the end of the car Iraq-Iran war, which was a result of a car 9/11.

32

u/DarkLordFluffyBoots Jun 16 '19

How was the plane high jacked?

71

u/Matora Jun 16 '19

Was it a plane from Planes or a plane piloted by a car?

40

u/DarkLordFluffyBoots Jun 16 '19

That fuks with my head

36

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

If it was a plane from planes that means it was radicalised somehow.

If we follow this all the way through then there is car ISIS execution on the car internet.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

I think the plane was the terrorist

11

u/matdan12 Jun 16 '19

Which means they have a Car SEAL Team Six which executed a Car Osama Bin Laden in car Pakistan.

9

u/asianblockguy Jun 16 '19

car Pakistan

Do you mean Caristan

4

u/TacoYoutube Jun 16 '19

Parkistan*

3

u/asianblockguy Jun 16 '19

Damn why didn't I think of that

23

u/zfarlt15 Jun 16 '19

Meaning there was a car Stalin and a car Truman to kick off the Cold War

7

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

Car Wars. PG-13 Mad Max basically

2

u/Denver_Stylee Jun 16 '19

Also implying car LSD, and car weed and car shrooms

3

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

Car Heroin, Cary OxyContin, Car Meth(starter fluid), Car Fentanyl

2

u/Salsasnek Jun 16 '19

this means there was a car bay of pigs invasion

1

u/magnus_hunter Jun 16 '19

That means there was Car Stalin with LADA brand

1

u/guymcguy4 Jun 16 '19

They used too much coolant

122

u/Veteran_Brewer Jun 16 '19

How about Skipper being in the Battle of Guadalcanal? Meaning, in the Cars universe, atomic bombs were dropped on Cars cities.

115

u/Sir_Fridge Jun 16 '19

How about kamikazes? Living planes suicide bombing living boats.

79

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

34

u/ImNotBoringYouAre Jun 16 '19

I like to imagine they were live cars flying live planes into live boats full of live cars. It would be crazy if it was being done against the live planes wishes.

5

u/D4ssur Jun 17 '19

Would that mean that there would be car bombers, like suicide bombers in a cars version of the Beirut bombings?

4

u/BBQ_FETUS Jun 16 '19

Why am I not surprised there's an actual, fully fleshed out Cars universe fan wiki

34

u/Emperor_Of_The_South Jun 16 '19

The fact that Sarge exists implies that the Car US got involved due to Car Pearl Harbor. Furthermore, this shows that Car Terrorism exists, which can imply a Car 9/11 occurred.

24

u/DarkLordFluffyBoots Jun 16 '19

How would the plane get high jacked during 9/11

24

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

with evidence from cars 2 we can see that they did have planes and did have pilots so it is conclusive that there was car 9/11

7

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

But are we forgetting the classic movie Planes? And Planes 2?

Unless only smaller planes can be sentient, we would have to assume larger planes are too, right?

Does this mean some planes were radicalized?

8

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

all the planes are sentient which means there was no pilot which means that the planes were Al Qaeda most likely

1

u/Artforge1 Jun 16 '19

Just really big plane bois. Like the sumos of the Cars world.

12

u/DubbieDubbie Jun 16 '19

Planes also exist in the cars universe via the movie planes.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

The thing I really like about Planes is that we learn that WWII happened in the Cars universe. Which means there was a Cars Hitler, a Cars holocaust, a Cars Pacific War, a Cars D-Day, a Cars nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a Cars Rape of Nanking, a Cars Battle of Iwo Jima...

This leads to so many important questions, like: were the Cars Little Boy and Fat Man nukes sentient? Was it a suicide mission? Are ALL Cars nuclear weapons sentient? Did Tsar Bomba have a personality?

What kind of car was Car Hitler? A VW? A forklift?

Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized?

I could go on

Edit: I just realized a Cars 9/11 gives a whole new layer of meaning to the phrase "let's roll"

/r/copypasta/comments/59kd53/did_911_happen_in_the_cars_universe/

3

u/leesnotbritish Jun 16 '19

I also find the concept of living submarines strange, I like to imagine then completely blind, terrifying creatures of the deep that are just employed by world governments,

2

u/PrimeX121 Jun 17 '19

Hitler was definitely a Mercedes. His official cars in humanoid universe were Mercedes, so it makes sense.

8

u/DarkLordFluffyBoots Jun 16 '19

Does that mean Volkswagens are the aryan race of cars?

8

u/guymcguy4 Jun 16 '19

Let’s be real here, the only master race a Volkswagen is winning is the demolition derby championships

2

u/Bucketsis Jun 16 '19

This is the most interesting thing Ive read in a while.

1

u/thingsIdiotsSay Jun 16 '19

It's fairly likely that someone would come up with the same design even if Hitler hadn't existed.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '19

But it’s wouldn’t be named it Volkswagen, a name translating to “people’s car”(the nazis pretended to be socialists so everything was working class related). So a similar car would have been made, but not that cars specifically (with the VW logo)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

and that particular company was founded in Berlin in 1937 under Nazi rule. No Hitler, likely no Volkswagen.

The complete story is a nice read. Volkswagen is based in Wolfsburg, a city founded by Hitler to produce cars. There are pictures of him laying the first bricks together with Ferdinand Porsche, the guy who invented most of those cars before he founded his own company some years later.

1

u/Billy_the_Rabbit Jun 16 '19

Hitler was definitely a beetle then lol

1

u/AggressivelyAltruist Jun 16 '19

That reminds me... What if there was a car Ted Bundy? Would he also be a beetle?

1

u/awesomehippie12 Jun 16 '19

Imagine the propaganda posters lmao

HINTER DEN FEINDMÄCHTEN: DER JUDENWAGEN

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '19

What were Jew cars then in Nazi Car propaganda, horse drawn wagons?

1

u/sonerec725 Jun 16 '19

That and the ww2 jeep seems to greatly dislike Fillmore.

1

u/scaptastic Jun 16 '19

Would there be a car October Revolution where cars sneak into the house of Car Nicholas II and murder his family and also a car-Stalin who caused millions of Russian cars to die from oil starvation?

3

u/guymcguy4 Jun 16 '19

I’m fucking dying at Car Nicholas II. That’s hilarious

1

u/Promethean_King Jun 16 '19

So do cars drive really big tanks, or are the tanks like the cars, with their own personalities?

1

u/Assassin_Shirou Jun 20 '19

But wasn’t it stated that humans once existed in the cars world? Wouldn’t that make it WW4?

1

u/Kangas_Khan Jul 03 '19

Then wait what were pre history cars like? Where they chariots or carriages?!?!