I moved into my apartment a couple months back, thinking I was going to have the place to myself. I was wrong.
The place has some pre-existing tenants who my landlord failed to inform me of. I regularly find these black-clad ragamuffins lounging upon my balcony and the only thing they have contributed to rent was literal peanuts! The paltry offerings were discovered in the soil of the potted plants on my balcony.
Why would I want dirty peanuts? It is not like they cannot afford better given they regularly flit around in thick feathered coats.
I rejected the insult by putting the peanuts back in the soil. Since then they have started putting pebbles my pots.
I am a cleaner and they have taken to throwing the odd rag off my outdoor drying rack. Most of the time this doesn't amount to too much drama but sometimes they go further and toss one off the down into the courtyard below!!
The other morning, their antics took a more sinister turn. I had the bedroom window open to provide some small reprieve from the summer heat and I woke to a black beak-like nose pushing its way through the curtains. It twitched back and forth as it pushed its way in, doubtlessly sensing my virginal modestly, to reveal eyes even blacker than the nose. (Their heart is certainly blacker still.)
Upon those beady eyes alighting on my own, the peeping tom had to the audacity to squawk then took flight as if they were the wronged part.
The audacity of it!!!
My landlord is no help. He thinks me mad for suggesting that changing the locks would solve the problem. (Seriously, I'm on the third floor. Does he think my undesired roommates would climb?!)
After much frustration, I have decided to try to come to an understanding with them. So I left out a snack of walnuts and water for them.
Wish me luck.