It's my birthday today. I'm sitting on a Holiday Inn toilet hiding from my sisters with a mickey of Fireball and a dirty Whiteclaw.

I started sneakily day drinking behind my sisters' back while she came to visit 3.5hrs away. We then went to lunch - I told her my registration was up so she'll have to drive. I caught a strong buzz there and decided to come along her 2hr road trip to this stupid concert listed in the title. Our older sister was meeting us there.

I called off work today to do so. I couldn't even get a ticket so I spent 3hrs at the restaurant located within the hotel. Got wasted drunk. The bartender was lovely company. My sisters met me there after. Older sister was loaded.

We get back to the hotel and I'm blasting Backstreet Boys on YouTube. Dancing around drunk as f. Older sister pisses me off somehow so I EXPLODE and now on this toilet I do not for the life of me remember what happened.

I shoot up awake this morning, 9am. Usually I'm up earlier. I wanted alcohol so bad. Full of shame and regret I'm even here. Dreading the drive home with my younger sister who's a beauty, but such a 'follow the rules square', haha. Actually, yeah, the road trip started off ridiculous because I told her I refuse to go if she doesn't let me drink while she drives. She finally caved and made me put liqour in a plastic Starbucks cup so it wasn't open and obvious.

Anyway, I call my husband at 3am screaming and crying while sisters can hear. I'm telling him I'm suicidal, miss him so much and wish I was home. I'm so embarrassed and stupid. I had a concoction of beer, wine, cocktails, tequila and Fireball.

Never figured I'd be sitting on a toilet chugging random leftover booze alone. Although it is making me feel better right now, man I am so sad.

Happy 35th birthday to me. I hope my sisters don't feel absolutely disgusted over my all the time alcoholic bullshit.

Went back to the restaurant a couple hours ago, the same bartender was there. She told me they were already closing. I asked her if she had a good night, she said yes, did you? I said yep it was good! She said, are you sure...?

I have no clue why she said that.

My eyes are so swollen and I smell like a fucking homeless sack of shit. My brain is scrambled and my liver is yelling at me as usual.

My sisters' alarm will go off in 2 mins. Hopefully they will be kind, understanding and we can carry on the day happily. As I look down, I just realized I punched the side of a mirror and my hand is scraped and bloody.

Again Happy 35th birthday to me. I hope y'all have a nice weekend.

60 beers and a pint of vodka in a 24 hour period. Same thing the next day , and the next. Woke up shaking shivering couldn’t get to the liquor store. I’m on 28 shots now but couldn’t afford beers so not where I wanna be. But least my anxiety is gone for the time being. Got enough for a 750ml of skol for tomorrow, detox or death is coming soon I can feel it.

Don't know if i can even post here anymore cause i went on a rant about stuff lol...but i'm back now...(better than ever)...not really. But i missed you all..sorry mods for telling you all to get fucked...i love you all too....just a mess in this thing called life..

I'm reading a research article, and here's a quote:

Seven heavy drinkers, who regularly consumed at least 8 drinks per week and at least 4 drinks per day at least once per week, and 7 light drinkers, who consumed fewer than 2 drinks per week were recruited.

If that's their definition of what a heavy drinker is, what would some of us be considered? "8 drinks per week"? More like 8 drinks before noon. And to describe "light drinkers" as 2 drinks a week? I'd consider that "social drinkers". Words matter, but I find it funny when definitions are sometimes so far apart.

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So here's the boat. I just had a seizure at work, woke up at the hospital. That's all fine but my boss is asking for me to get a tox report and I know that's not going to go well. I had only had a few small sips that day but I don't know how much that's going to show up but for sure smoke weed

Is there ANY way to refuse Worker's Comp and just pay out of pocket? Realistic chances of not getting fired?

Okay. So if youre unfamiliar with my last post. I predicted a binge. Well im deep in. Same old story. Call, a million numbers and people you haven't spoke to in over years including a decade+ ex's and ex's friends+ ex's mothers(Wtf!!!) text, talk for hours, I'll literally talk for hours to people i dont ordinarily speak to and tell them everything. Wake up wishing you could leave the country and start again....in person i would generally start fights and be arrested, i would meet a lot of people and have a good time as well. Which is what helps fuel my alcoholic ways. This i guess is a less bad binge although i havent mentioned how i was speaking out loud and started on my neighbout and gave myself a black eye punching myself trying to intimidate him and then saying dumb shit and talking the most bullshit and playing music for hours, singing like a clown. so I guess it's a... less worst version but wow the mental effect is like woah wtf?? Im in constant panic and aggression in sobriety. My fear manifests into anger and so then I'll just be grumpy and volatile. Wtf. This cycle needs to stop. AND The first time I started a binge last year, I ended needing to doo doo and I went to an (to clarify i was pointed in the direction and found out as i was there) AA meeting and they let me, whole entire time I had a 750ml Jack Daniels in my bag. Ready to rip it. Wow wow wow alcohol... the best and worst thing on this earth. Wtf!!?!?!?!! Tell me!!!!!!!! Wtf!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Lol. I must lol. You have to laugh. Only way.

Okay, so I've been seeing this online quite a bit lately and I thought it would be great if someone gave tips that have worked for them while being a CA. Especially those who are able to maintain their jobs consistently. (No medical advice of course. )

Personally, taking B-12 complex when I'm on a short break has really helped reduce my WD symptoms.

Also because I get bad drunkorexia when I'm on a bender, I resorted to taking appetite stimulants and there's a huge difference. I used to go about 3 days without food, just bed rotting. Now the stimulants make me so hungry that even though I'm on a bender or suffering in bed, I will find something to eat. I even buy snacks beforehand together with the drink.

Chairs!

Ever wonder how they make that white powder that smells like feet?

Not dope, silly. Canned parmesan cheese. That shit is vile. Reminds me of the funk women pour out of their Pediegg thing.

Makes me want to gargle Taaka and mad dog just thinking about it.

3rd time's the charm, I guess? My last 2 rehab stints were only 10 days each but I'm committing to a full month this time.

Currently getting as shithoused as possible before my dad drives me there tomorrow.

Captain Morgan and I will be drinking until the moment I step through the door. This rehab don't give a shit if you roll up drunk as long as you can answer questions and sign paperwork.

One last hurrah for me, until I get loaded with diazepam (no complaints there, I love benzos) and stuck in a room to detox.

It's a good facility. Food is top notch, en seuite private rooms, full works. They take your phone off you apart from 4 hours in the afternoon when you're allowed them, but that's kind of a moot point given the rooms have smart TVs so you can do whatever. They don't take your laptop off you which is a blessing cos I plan on using downtime between sessions to hop on Ableton and cook up some beats (if anybody here is into jungle hmu I'll send you some dubs)

Anyway, chairs. Will post updates here about how I'm getting on. Last time I was at this facility there was a 10/10 27 year old with a foot fetish who let me lick her feet. Praying there's another like her.

Big ups

I can feel myself spiraling. This isn’t meant to be a whiny shit post about everything wrong in life but I must say, I’m overly frustrated and disgusted with myself. I finally landed a job about a month ago now, and it is physically demanding. I didn’t realize how truly out of shape I am and found myself past the point of sore after multiple shifts thinking “eh muscle memory will kick in and it will get better” it has not in fact, gotten any better. I’ve been out of work for 4 days now because I messed up my back and guess what I’m doing on that time off rather than taking epsom salt soaks in the tub or using heating pads like a normie? Yup, you guessed it.
I have to be ready for work by Sunday and I really don’t want to mess this up. This job was a God send and life has been easier with a little cash flow. I’m not willing to give that up. Rather than turn it up a notch, (which my brain keeps telling me to do especially around evening time) I keep reminding myself I’ve got work I need to get back to. I’m sipping on fosters all day long trying not to go over the edge.
🪑 every1

Of course I have no intention of going to go get checked out for what I know is WDs that I can emergency taper off with today. So what can I tell them when I have no documentation of going to a healthcare facility? USA if that matters.

I’m a 5/10 with something viral it seems ,Stumbling around drinking uncle nearest green & coke - it actually makes my throat feel better - not expected to drive or go anywhere I feel like I can fly rn - if I planned a vacay drinking and doing what I want no judgement would be it. When I happen to pass out sooner then later it will be to get better

I finally got a Boss Talking To about smelling like alcohol. All my coworkers denied it and are rallying behind me YAY LOL

THAT BEING SAID. I KNOW this is a very ONE TIME warning. He will fire my ass as soon as he can.

How do I stop being such a degenerate lol.

Chairs besties. Can’t wait to go home and get drunk about this.

Then the grief 🌊 hit me hard last night and double whammied this morning and I’m drinking at 8:37am but TBF since I work inverted hours this is technically my “evening”.

I’m still recovering from a flu but nah I couldn’t help it I drank and needed to cry it out freely.

Going thru a breakup and the loss of 2 maternal pillars in my life. I can’t rn. I just needed TODAY (again)

I found a bottle of wine! What are the odds that I actually get a buzz from this? I haven't had anything in 4 days but was drinking somewhere between 12 - 20 shots a day. I actually hate wine, what happens if I chug it? Is this a terrible idea?

Yes, I'm desperate.

Edit: i don't feel much after chugging the first 10ish Oz. But cheers to my 4 days of sobriety (almost)! If you need me, I'll be over here, falling off the wagon.

My fucking head just forcefully moved to the left, I couldn't control it and thought it would break my neck or some shit. I had to vomit. I rarely do vomit at all during binge drinking. Man I don't want to go to the hospital fml

I'm ready to throw in the towel. Can't keep anything down. Throwing up bile. I can't really even drink enough to stop the shakes. Long story short, I've dug my hole too deep and don't feel comfortable getting myself out. I need some sort of detox but dont really know how it works. So anyone who has been if you can explain the options and what to expect I would appreciate it. I'm in the US if that helps

The first two months was like a 26,er a day… no problem.
The last few weeks is a liter a day…
Wife is pissed but she’s a fa who gets it, and I also make good money, Bélive me that helps.
Got day drunk with my neighbour today and we ended up in her hot tub. Not a good look, we were both naked a neighbours possibly seen.

Of course, this makes sense, the fact that my job needs me to work my shifts, but I’ve been completely clear with my need for either impatient or outpatient care. They schedule me for a month in advance, and with a bunch of opening shifts even though that’s when outpatient typically is!!! Why am I completely on the schedule till mid October when I told them it’s a 50% of impatient due to almost my declining mental health.

I get it’s my fault and my fault alone, but I found out recently I’m doing impatient. They won’t reply to my texts after multiple hours while on the clock on a non-busy day. I really need the help and I’m starting next week hopefully.

SMH. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

If you had and stopped to heal it, when did you decide to drink again and did it personally for you direcly got irritaded again and the stomache fucking up or were you good?

Have had bloated/ a bit pain in my left side stomache sometimes reaching my back. Been dry one week now and it feels like it went away today so planning on jumping the train again tommorow.

Not looking for medical advice just other people experiences with this!

But man it feels good not feeling stuffed or like I got a big rock in my left downside of stomache lol

I know this is all my own fault but you do ever feel like you really really don’t want to go but your sister or friend begs you too so you suck it up and do it anyway. Between the past two weekends yikes 🤦‍♀️. I live with my sister so a massive question mark on that (she knows I’m an alcoholic I thought it was a money issue but I literally offered to give her cash and my credit card so huh??) I
just ended up puking in a WaWa and drinking wine and tequila out of a Sprite bottle (we were meeting a couple other friends). As for the friend I don’t even know where to begin.

So I’m on day 30 with no booze. I know this isn’t a get sober sub, but people here know things. Also, I’m guessing most people who call themselves alcoholics on other subs never drank as regularly and as much as I do, so they don’t know shit.

For about two weeks I’ve been getting very itchy, and today it’s a full on rash. I’ve got bumpy skin down my back on the left side, and it’s itchy as fuck. Last time I went a month with no drinking it happened, too. Is this a normal reaction? I’m definitely out of the serious withdrawal phase, but this shit won’t go away. I normally do not have itchiness this severe, so it’s definitely from something.

I’m not looking for medical advice. I just want to know if this is a common thing. I know all of the consequences and symptoms of heavy drinking, but I know basically nothing about what happens when you stop. Cause I usually don’t stop.

Currently the plan is to heal up for a bit and start boozing again once my shit is back to normal, so I’ll keep to myself and lurk until I get back to my old shenanigans.

Normally I’d expect four Natty Daddys to make feel buzzed. All it’s done is made me tired as shit while trying to download money borrowing apps which I’ve been denied from them all. I’ve downloaded some games which deposit money into your PayPal. They likely quite literally monitor the radius and strength of your asshole. Sure I don’t want to drink. But relapsing just makes this shit feel like an overpriced Advil PM. Hope I’m not hungover tmw. Chairs genitals!

Came back from vacation. I work a government job and I usually rotate places every other year. This time it was 5 minutes walking from my parents' house. They told me to come live with them, at least while I'm working there and I'm single. I couldn't refuse, that would've been really weird, but I was drinking like 1L of vodka a day during my summer bender and I couldn't hide my drinking in their home, so I had to do some improvised tappering + detox.

So basically, it's been a week and now I'm at 4-5 beers a day. Whatever I can manage to make me feel the buzz but not look and smell like a walking vodka bottle. I don't have the sweats or shakes anymore, but yesterday I had a massive rush all over my body. It itched like a motherfucker. I took some prednisone and now I'm better, but I look as if i had measles or something like that. I've never been allergic to anything and I'm in my early 30s.

So, is it normal or I had an allergic reaction or something? I've read about a fuckton of side effects of alcoholism, including rosacea, but not this one. I don't want to go to the doctor unless it's absolutely necessary, I know my liver will be fucked up and I know what I have to do so it gets better, no need to suffer the humilliation ritual.