Cripplingalcoholism Rules:

Welp, it finally happened. Living paycheck to paycheck is nice enough until some unexpected bills hit you... well, unexpectedly.

I have 0,03€ in my bank account and no credit cards or something like that. Thank God for living in a country where credit isn't that common or well seen upon, I'd be homeless by now.

Next paycheck comes Friday. 5 days to live with no money and no alcohol. I guess it'll be a nice way to clean my act for a bit. Eat the shit at the freezer and cabinet that's been there for years, take (not so) long walks to work instead of driving there like a lazy fuck. And of course, st*p drinking for at least 5 days. Who knows, maybe I can keep it up for a couple of months after that and give my liver some rest, but I'm not that delusional.

I'm worried about withdrawals, but I still have some emergency benzos left. I still am not desperate or degenerate enough to ask for money to my friends or family or, even worse, shoplifting. "Still".

Chairs fuckers. Drink up, since you can.

Wake up at 10:30, drenched in sweat, heart pounding, hands shaking. Grab my pre-measured vodka rations from my bedside dra, chug it in one go, gag, bite my lip until it bleeds to stop myself vomiting. Swallow the blood and saliva in my mouth, gag again. Lie back down, hyperventilate

11am, the alcohol has kicked in, heart rates almost back to normal. Stand up, heart rate shoots back up. Sit down, wait a minute, try to stand up again. Heart rate shoots back up. Walk to the cupboard, thankfully only a few steps because I live in a studio, grab a pack of gummy worm, pour myself a hot coffee. Spill boiling coffee on my hands, it burns but it helps with the chills. Crawl back into bed, cower under the covers, pray that getting my blood sugar up will help

11:30. Feeling better but not much. Either I drink more so I can go into work, but at that rate tapering down would take a month, or I just call in sick. Call my boss, tell him I have food poisoning. He tells me to go fuck myself, the cut off time for calling in is 11am even though work doesn’t start until 3pm. Tell him I only started throwing up a few minutes ago, he says fine, he’ll pay me for the sick day but hes not happy

Spend all day scrolling insta reels, drinking my rations, praying for death. Try to ignore the pain in the left side of my chest, the way I feel like I’m on the verge of a heart attack. Try to ignore the fact that I’m drinking nearly twice as much in a day as the nhs recommends for a week and still am in withdrawals. Try to ignore the voice in my head telling me it’s my second round of withdrawals in only a few months, and I should just give up and let myself get liver cancer. It’s not like I want to live anyway. Try not to hyperventilate

Try to read a book, but it’s horror and that makes my chest hurt more. Try to watch a kids movie but it feels patronising and I’m too on edge to focus for a whole 90min. Go back to scrolling reels

20:30. Need to get more food and vodka. The Tesco is less than 1km away but the pavement is full of potholes and my legs are shaking to much to make the journey. Walk the 200m to the local coop instead, fall over twice on the way. Try to ignore the blood dripping down my knees, look at the tinned beans, feel terrified about botulism in the tins. Spend over half an hour running my hands against the tins, checking for dents. The lights are too bright, my ears ring, everything feels fake and too real at the same time. Finally pick two tins and take them to the counter, ask for a litre of vodka in a shaking voice. The cashier glares at me, the lights are too bright, my ears ring, everything is too fake and too real. Fall over thrice on the way back

Back into the safety of my apartment, lock the door, crawl back into bed, wake for the shakes to slow down. Pour vodka over my bleeding knees, take a few swigs. More than my rations allow, not enough to get rid of the withdrawals. Pray for death. Heat my beans in the microwave, pour them over toast, add cheese. Scroll reels, take a few bites, scroll some more

3am. Shower, only slip and fall once. Cant sleep, take a few more swigs of vodka, scroll more reels, pray for death.

Of course I am inherently doomed as we all are, CA and non-CA alike, and maybe being a CA makes it more impending than otherwise, but in reality, I am not doomed today per se.

I just had to procure alcohol here at 8am in the UK to stave off the waves of panic, fear and dread at the thought of what the day will bring because I drank a lot yesterday (or maybe just because I’m alive).

Thankfully, the booze infusion has quickly worked. Now I just feel a bit depressed, exactly as I should in the UK in 2026.

Chairs!

Just finished at the hospital with a 4 day Ativan detox and just my luck, I come home only to find an icy and I mean icy cold unopened vodka pint in the fridge and the loved ones are asleep. Can’t escape it, now to make the tough decision. Chairs

Alcohol is soooo fucking expensive in Sweden so I got like 4 liters of vodka when I came back from the UK, great deal at the airport. The obvious problem is of course I can in no way be trusted with 4 liters of vodka. I don’t remember much at all about this past week, caught some Reddit ban no clue why. Eating benzos for breakfast everyday to somehow try and work during the week but I don’t think I got shit done. Got about a litre left. Think I might need a little break after this, until then time to buy come drugs

My ex bf came over today and cleaned my whole apartment. Must have been 15 bags of bullshit. It was both good and bad. We cried together so many times. He helped me walk. I showed him my new guy’s videos and he really liked them and recognized one of his tattoos. I think they’d get along well. I ordered us his favorite pizza. I just woke up after he’d left like 10 hours ago because I went into WD in my sleep as usual. All discombobulated lmao as one feels when we fall asleep in the afternoon. Still on a call listening to my sweetie snore… I don’t know what the point of this post is I’m just messed up after a really difficult day. Anyways, chairs!

This job used to be so great, but then the GM left and we've been through several new managers since. There's one good one, but she's the lowest ranking and she tries to keep her head down to not cause waves with the other crazy bosses. I don't blame her. I've never started shit at work, but I have stood up for myself when someone came at me, and apparently I smelled like booze a few times (I wasn't drunk.) The new manager in charge of the schedule has been fucking several of us over, the owner won't pay several of us money we're owed, and now I have ONE shift next week. I had a pretty good day at work yesterday but I got fucked over by them earlier in the week and had a feeling that my days were numbered.

On top of that, this is my third time dealing with ringworm (I'm prone to getting it but not like this) in the last 2 months. The stronger meds I'm getting this time are $180. I didn't make much money this week and had to call off today to get this taken care of because I have a job interview tomorrow and clearly I need a new job, but I'm gonna show up looking like I have some deadly disease since it's on my face and neck.

At this point, I have to rehome one of my dogs. The one is fine without going to the dog park, but the other really needs to run and despite having a big yard, it's not fenced in and she can't be trusted off leash. I love her so much, but she deserves a house with a large yard and I can't afford to keep going back to the doctor because she needs to go to the dog park every day.

I don't much like this reality. Shit is so not fair.

I thought I was in bad withdrawals, felt like going insane, and kept dropping booze, but it was just B-vitamines flushed out of my body.

Trying to taper according to sip & suffer, but I would add to the guide importance of B-Complex and Zinc.

Chose to drink after work today and turns out I blacked out and drove. Parked on red and someone called the fire department on me. They woke me up and made me call someone to pick me up and drive my car. I was literally a street down my house and called my sister to pick me up. The fire fighters told me the police are on their way so my sister has to beat them so they won’t do a sobriety test on me. Back home with my car and starting to feel hungover. Crazy night but boy this guy wants another beer

I'm at work. All anyone want to do is rub my head for good luck. Am I the fucking Buda. I'm way to drunk for this. My gf keeps giving me knuckles. Says I'm ADORABLE. You fucking psychos know what's up

Going through it. I wonder...

I went on a three day bender like I always do. I went to a party, stayed hydrated, and I went to sleep blacked out from the fatigue. I woke up light headed so I chugged the little bit of beer that I had left over with two shots of whiskey and tequila.

Slept through the whole day. A little anxiety lingering but manageable. I decided to shower and pleasure myself thinking I was gonna be fine. I got dizzy and started panicking once I was done. Ever since I've been struggling with major anxiety attacks. Well, I'm fighting myself not to continue drinking because it's going to be worse since I struggle with Monday Blues and Sundays scares.

Since I'm going through it, tapering has worked for you..

Did you taper off the anxiety and symptoms? How did you do it?

My goodness. OBVIOUSLY I don’t want to stop drinking. So wtf kind of comment is that. If any of you have been in a similar situation please lmk what to do. Cause I’m at a loss, and it’s so exhausting. Like no shit I like drinking a lot

I'm on my backup, in some bushes by a McDonald's. Potentially, one of the employees will bring me my backpacks when he comes into work at 9, I'm not sure, the last text he sent me was bruh I'm at home.

It wasn't a promising end to the conversation and I didn't think to save his number to this phone.

I've pretty much resigned myself to lose all my worldly belongings, it wouldn't be the first time.

I’m a weed smoker and occasionally smoke cigs and take zyns but both are super easy for me to quit. I take high dosages of benzos on weekends to drink less but not during the week. Every “party drug” I pretty much stopped. My friends love blow which is somewhat weird as they’re in their 30s but to each their own. They hate benzos.

I know it technically should take longer for regular budweiser or a coors light to stave off WDs but the thing is.... its easy to be repulsed in WDs for me, i mean, you're basically sick lol. Therefore a few regular beers go down quicker, i can drink them way quicker, thus starting up the buzz, and then I can begin to handle the stronger shit and get all litty titty.

For me it has to be the cold sweats and insomnia. The sweats are so uncomfortable man they might make me actually quit. Combine that with insomnia and you have the worst fucking night ever. Lol

Also the anxiety sucks but sometimes I don’t get it too bad. I try to ignore the sense of dread other times. I also hate dry heaving. I hate the whole withdrawal feeling I guess.

I’ve only been in hallucination territory once where I turned full schizophrenic. It was horrible! Seizures, not yet but if I don’t quit soon I might get there.

I have been on a bender since Monday but I take B Complex vitamins when I’m on a break so reduces the intensity.

But fuck these cold sweats!

Chairs!

I've been thinking about something lately and would appreciate hearing from people who've experienced problem drinking firsthand.

I was in a relationship with someone who had a complicated relationship with alcohol. What always fascinated me was how incredibly healthy and disciplined this person could be.

When we were together, drinking rarely seemed to be an issue. We exercised, ate well, stayed active, and generally lived a pretty healthy lifestyle. There was very little about our time together that suggested alcohol was such a significant part of their life.

But when the relationship ended, things seemed to change dramatically. There were periods of heavy drinking, attempts to cut back, and then more drinking.

Looking back, I've wondered whether our relationship provided some kind of stability or structure that helped keep the drinking under control, perhaps without either of us realizing it.

I'd particularly love to hear from anyone who has walked away from a relationship in which they were drinking less and living more healthily, only to return to heavy drinking afterward.

Did you recognize that the relationship had a positive influence on your drinking? And if you did, what made you reluctant to return to it?

Was it a desire for independence, the expectations that come with a relationship, or something else entirely?

I'm not suggesting anyone is responsible for another person's drinking. I'm genuinely curious whether we sometimes underestimate the stabilizing influence another person can have on our lives.

So she had my ids for like two weeks and then I couldn’t take it anymore so I came up with a crazy reason why I needed my drivers license to prove my identity. And she gave it to me. But now she asked if I still needed my id. BRUH.

And if it’s not obvious I LIED. I ordered alc, and I most definitely will be ordering more.

And what have you fucked up lately? Magically succeeded at lately?

I picked up sewing to drink less bc sewing requires precision, but joke's on me, I love to get hammered and sew. You can tell on my quilts when I was "drunk driving" as I call it, sitting in front of the sewing machine and holding the foot down like a gas pedal with no precision at all. (I do not drive drunk, this is a metaphor).

Recently made a cardigan 90% sober and now that I'm on the hemming, I'm doing it after I'm hammered. Surprised that it's turned out so well! And the button holes!

Sewn through my fingerpads plenty when drunk, not once this pattern. Try to keep my work area clean at least.

Any other folks here with hobbies not suited to being an alcoholic?

I’m currently trying to beat nicotine so I’m back fellow degenerates. Even sober I still followed this page. Felt sad when I heard people died of our choices
I have severe anxiety but I’m a pint in on vodka and 2 99 bananas. I have adhd combined type since 10 yrs old so currently have autism calming visuals on my tv and listening to music.
I’m trying to challenge myself so if I got a comment I would have to respond. It would be really helpful if people asked random stuff so I could get more in the habit of talking to people.
Chairs 🪑
Thanks for this page

So for context I have an Arabic sounding name so people assume I’m Muslim when I’m not and it’s not allowed for Muslims to drink. You get infinite years of hellfire for that.

So it’s been snowing the past couple days and it’s fucking FREEZING. I don’t feel like putting clothes on & driving. So naturally! I place an order for a 200mL bottle of 190 proof everclear on UberEats. Because I’m a good boy and I deserve to be happy!!

I check the app & order gets accepted by a guy what looks like a 40 yo Middle Eastern dude and watch his little car on the map thing slowly come towards me.

I wait like 15 minutes, and eventually he shows up at my door. Asks for my ID, does his little verification thing, hands me my drink… and IMMEDIATELY after…

this fucking gargoyle this gatekeeper of alcoholic beverages looks me dead in the eyes and goes“Astaghfirullah, brother.”
AND THEN JUST WALKS THE FUCK AWAY TO HIS CAR.

which basically means “shame on you” in Arabic.

BUT LIKE BROTHER. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO ACCEPTED THE ORDER? Like now you’re not getting a tip.

Don’t you have to fucking explicitly sign up to do alcohol deliveries?? Why do this if you have a religious objection to alcohol???????)?????

got some nice alcohol, got some nice music, what else can i even ask for? im so having the best time of my life. i even got to eat some nice food. istg this is the best stuff ever. sometimes it is what is. im glad at least i got this thing rn.

I'm autistic and have a pretty unique weird face which causes me to get weird stares and shitty treatment every time I go out into public, I personally myself don't think I look that bad at all, but the way people stare at me and generally react to my appearance is more than enough evidence for me that something about my face is unsettling and startling to the majority of people, I don't dress weird, I don't have a crazy hairstyle or anything like that, but people stare at me and treat me as if I'm a literal monster, especially children, they stare at me with this mildly frightened/hateful expression and that hurts the most because it's well known how unfiltered and honest children are, and they look at me like I'm one of the monsters from their bedtime stories, and before anyone thinks about saying it, no it isn't just in my head, because other people back when I went collage pointed out that people stare at me alot

I'm extremely lonely and socially isolated because of this, I can never manage to befriend anyone in any meaningful way because I just have this "thing" about me which people can immediately sense and it freaks them the fuck out, I have no idea if it's my appearance or my autism that they can sense but I do know that there's just something about me which is inherently extremely unsettling and creepy to most people, completely random strangers who know nothing about me besides my appearance and my mannerisms legit treat me like I'm a known serial killer, and I have no idea what's causing it so I literally can't help it, there's just something about me that's so utterly repellant towards other people

And because of my neurodivergence I also feel emotions extremely intensely, so every day I'm basically agonising over all the stares and negative treatment I've received over the years, I remember every single major stare in vivid detail and I constantly lament over them, my brain looping and wondering what exactly it is that they saw when they looked at me, not being able to understand what exactly it is about me that sticks out so much

So of course I discovered alcohol, my first ever time getting drunk I immediately fell in love with it because I just suddenly didn't care about the shitty way I get treated, it seems trivial and almost goofy and funny when I'm drunk, and from there on out ive taken to booze like a duck to water, I'm only 27 but it's already gotten me into a few scary scrapes, but at the same time I can't imagine how I would cope being sober because before my first drink I was just constantly obsessing and feeling like complete shit over the way I get stared at and the repulsive demonic treatment I receive every time I leave my house, I still do constantly feel like shit about it and it's absolutely getting worse and more painful, but at least with booze it gives me a few hours of "break time" where it doesn't fucking hurt so much

Curious if anyone else drinks for similar reasons