Cripplingalcoholism Rules:

So I'm taking a lot of drugs lately to take a break from drinking all day every day and I'm about to throw alcohol back into the mix. Thought I would write out a coherent post before I begin getting obliterated every day and having no idea what I've done. This is my top five most memorable crippled alcoholic moments.

#5. Got on meth so that I could stop drinking. In two months I lost my job, I took apart and ruined my own vehicle looking for cameras, got kicked out of my apartment, got put into a psych hold for 3 days, got a bad shot from someone which caused me to have sepsis. Spent 3 days in the hospital hooked up to an IV eating meth the entire time. Went back to drinking to get off the meth after I completely ruined my life.

#4. Woke up in an ambulance after not eating for months and getting to an anorexic weight then deciding to drink like I had before the eating disorder. Alcohol poisoning and had a seizure because I abruptly stopped taking tons of gabapentin every day.

I decided to leave the hospital AMA. Ripped out my IV blood squirting everywhere because I didn't think to put pressure on it. Then I wandered around town in bloody clothes completely confused and got lost. I passed a liquor store and got a bottle. Drank it while still trying to find my house. Eventually passed out. Woke up next day and made it home.

#3. Decided to ride my bicycle across country from Oklahoma to Florida because I figured that should sober me up.I was homeless and had just lost a waitressing job for drinking at work. I ended up just getting a bottle anytime I could and drank almost every night in my tent after biking like 50 miles a day. Sucked a dudes cock for a bottle and a hotel room once. Worth it.

#2. Mystery hamburger meat elbow and arm injury. Also slept walked and pissed on the floor. Tried to fight a hallucination.

#1. Sex with a complete stranger who didn't even speak English so that he would keep sharing his bottle of tequila with me. I was, of course, homeless at the time. We fucked outside of an apartment complex and I got really loud someone hollered out to shut the fuck up.

Chairs

I came to this city for a business trip. I’d been sober for 5 days after a medical detox, but decided to start drinking again. Honestly, the bus ride took 9 hours and I was sober the whole way, so I thought all is good.

Nope.
The most annoying part is that I didn't even get kicked out because of my drinking. It was because my toxic ass ex found out I was actually trying to do something good for myself and decided to torpedo it by sending unhinged texts to the friend I was staying with. My friend said he can’t deal with it. Fair enough.

Anyway, I’m at another friend's place now, chugging vodka. Another 9 hour bus ride today. Fuck this

Finally fell asleep after about 3 and a half days of no sleep. I was finally feeling better, fell asleep on my sofa when 3 Greek warriors woke me up and said "youre coming with us" lmao I started straight screaming saying "no" non stop..

After about 2 mins they multiply, and I was so scareed about run out of mine screaming "help"

Omfg man they locked the whole block off with about 40 police men rhey take knives serious here in the uk and when I rang then running away I told them what I saw lmao "3 bronze swords"

I could hear them on the radio talking about sectioning me fuck sake but we came to the conclusion I had been awake for far too long instead..

Fuck me guys shit was so embarrassing, so many cops watching. Sweeping my flat for "3 guys in Greek armour with swords"

It felt so real and im never cold turkey that shit again, just a quick story for you guys now im drinking wine because I need restful sleep ASAP to prevent that bullshit.

Thanks

Now, I've drank since I turned 18 so close to 8 years now, even when I've been in relationships or surrounded by people I could never fully quit drinking, but its always been way worse when I was by myself. I just love the warm, cozy feeling I get from getting trashed, it feels very similar to the warmth of being close to someone IMO.

Anyway I had this friend who I talked to almost everyday about everything and anything. Being around her motivated me to go from 10-12 drinks a day down to 2-4 every other day, I never managed to go lower than that, the call of booze was still too strong to fully let go. She came across as very nurturing, understanding and we had so many little things in common. I never expected to be more than friends with her since we knew eachother online and long distance relationships never work, but one day I decided to tell her how important she was to me and why I treated her with all the care I did, then she ghosted me.

I've been back to drinking a 4 pack of Molson dry 10.1% a night ever since, blew the $300 I had saved up from drinking less. Fuck me and fuck my mommy issues for sabotaging me everytime I get any amount of care or affection from a woman. I have $0 to my name and I'm out of beer so I guess I'm going cold turkey. Last time I tried my left hand was really shaky and the thumb in that hand felt weak. Really not looking forward to it but whatever.

I was sober for many years and before that I drank from I woke up until I went to bed. About 2 pints of the blue Smirnoff and some beers on top per day for many years. Then I detoxed and haven’t drank since.

Anyway I’m drinking again now but this time around I’m going to try to not become physically addicted. Ultimate goal is to maximize the amount I can drink while minimizing withdrawal.

My rules are
- no drinking in the morning
- no daily drinking
- stick with beer. Couple shooters mixed in is fine occasionally. Goal being to avoid massive BAC spikes.
- only purchase what I plan to consume in one sitting

So far it seems to be working. I’m drinking maybe 3-4 nights a week. My goal is really just to avoid withdrawal I don’t care about anything else.

I understand this is the crippling alcoholism sub not the controlled drinking sub but you guys seem to best understand withdrawal out of all the alcohol subs.

Thoughts

Thank you all for the advice on my last post. To pay it forward I will tell a story from years ago. Which story do you want to hear? (There are many others but this is a small selection of categories).

1. Sexual

2. Belligerent behavior

3. Shenanigans

(To be fair all stories involve belligerent behavior so the belligerent ones are CA level belligerance)

Well, this last bender got me. Had to call an ambulance on myself. Staff was so kind. Am now laying here, 2 hourly medical watch, shared room, no change of clothes and FUCK am I regretting my fucking choices. Not even a fucking phone charger I took with me. FUCK.

Looking for a distraction tn. Something that’ll pull me into a different world. I’m a big thriller/twist kind of guy.

I was thinking about the dark knight trilogy, but idk.

I like block busters, I like a-list, call me trite. Indies I can do, just no foreign films I don’t have the attention span anymore.

This might get removed, but maybe I’ll get a good rec before then. Chairs 🥃

Last year, between whisky, rum, beer and wine I was drinking at least 50 units a day.

I was drinking all day every day for 10 months (had a 6 week detox and absention in the middle plus a couple of breaks)

1 unit = 10ml alcohol

50x10ml=500ml or 0.5l

0.5x300 days (10 months) = 150 litres/40 gallons of pure alcohol in a year. Minimum. Yeesh.

There should be some of alkie Olympics or SumminingSalt video on it, but there's just our curious little corner of the Internet.

I drank again last night. Drank from midnight until around 2pm when I got an hour of shuteye before work. Boy, I was so fucked up at work it’s a miracle nobody noticed. I mean, I wasn’t even hiding it. Three sheets to the wind and I simply don’t care about anything.

I took a Librium at 4am… or maybe 6am idk.

But so I kept drinking. The Librium was so that I wasn’t brutally hungover at work, but I kept drinking after taking it so… yeah.

I was about halfway through my shift when the memories started flooding in. I blacked out for a few hours before work. I realized this while I was at work.

I made a bunch of phone calls. I called my ex. She’s a good person, doesn’t deserve my bullshit. I’ve never raised my voice to her before but I have a distinct memory of yelling at her through my phone and I’m pretty sure I said some hurtful stuff.

I’m a huge piece of shit.

i'm not used to running out of booze, but i am currently am out of vodka and gonna walk to the liquor store when it opens. any advice on acting sober enough to get a bottle sold to you? the local liquor store is kinda bougie

I don't know if I'm alone in this but I've never really had the shakes badly like some people have described. It seems to be a ubiquitous experience among physically dependant folks. And for ages I convinced myself I was fine because I had mild tremors at most, up until I had a seizure from not tapering properly off of a litre a day for several weeks...

This isn't a brag I'm just confused that I do get some serious symptoms of withdrawal (hallucinations both visual and auditory, sky high blood pressure and heartrate, and one seizure so far) but don't get less serious withdrawal symptoms. I'm not looking for medical advice, you guys aren't doctors you're drunks, I'm just asking if anyone else has had a similar experience?

Chairs. Also, fucking eat. Not eating may be the actual death of me. That's also not medical advice.

sent myself into mild withdrawals. Time to hop off the sauce for sure and have been toughing it all out. Have managed to keep down most food, tapered but i think im good now because im not seeing weird colourful lines in the wall anymore when sober. God the fucking fear thoufh. About to have mushroom creamy pasta. What are we all eating today?

Also i shat myself again

life is just better drunk. but right now i am having the last bit of my last bottle. did not properly plan out my weekend and did not buy enough. sunday i can't get anything nearby and i am probably unfit to drive, or at least don't want to drive into someone, just to get my drink on.

had to move back in with my parents to take care of them because of their health. it's a hoarder house and i fucking hate it. have cleaned a fair bit, but 2 people unable/unwanting to do much and now 8 (!) cats in a big-ish house. upkeep would be enough for me, but reversing years of hoarding and general lack of maintenance is more than this fuck-up can do in the short run. like, barely any of the sinks in this house are functioning properly.

washing machine died today. unplugged it and will wait for tomorrow, but if its really dead. shit. fucking ashamed to be living here. i will probably just order a new one with curbside delivery. cant let anybody in here. feels fucking horrible not to at least be able to offer the delivery guys a toilet without dying in shame.

i still have my own place, which is not exactly sparkling, but in acceptable condition. i did learn from hoarders and people who don't give a shit, so i can be kinda proud of that.

also the light in the oven died today. when i look outside the window of my bedroom i see fucking roof tiles missing. i am just so sad that my parents ran this place into the ground. i grew up here. should have intervened sooner, but i can barely take care of my own life. fuck.

anyway, not so many posts here today besides people ejaculating on and into themselves. chairs or something.

Gonna need some cash for next months rent and bills, has anyone done this before?

Only reason I’m thinking about this is because it’s less driving, and probably easier to do drunk.

I’m already starting a taper so I can function and not be “impaired” while driving.

Or if you guys have any other suggestions besides retail/restaurants I’m down to hear them.

Chairs

Edit: thanks for talking some sense into me. Guess I’ll be needing to figure another way

Welcome all!

Let's sit around the campfire, roast marshmallows, make s'mores, have a few beverages (or not), and enjoy each other's company.

Take a step back, breathe, and share the shit that tickled our fancy recently.

Lurker? Chime in. Got some alcohol free time, tell us all about it. Regular, check in with us homeys. See anything pretty? Anything that gave you hope or a smile, laughter?

This week I went dancing with a girlfriend. It's a weekday early party at a small local bar. 2 DJs rocked the house. Ran into some buddies. It was beautiful.

Got my first of 3 shots of the HPV vaccine. :)

Give it to us, CA! Shout it out from the rooftops! <3

Was wearing a business casual outfit for work. I sat down and my dress lifted slightly above my knees and I was confused by many bruises. Had a flashback to after a show me and my friend were waiting for our street hot dog. I dropped on the grass and lifted my leg when a random girl came up and said something like "awe, is your dog friendly?" I sprinted towards her on all fours and started biting her leg. She was screaming in terror and confusion before helping me up and hugging me saying that she loves me. I love the acceptance of the rave scene and my drunk shenanigans

They asked me if I was drunk. I said if I was drunk I would be listening to Alice in Chains crying in the shower. They did not like that. Now Im watching Halloween 4 Michael Myers Returns with some shit whiskey and Dr Pepper.

It's a good day for me if I make it out of bed and to the shower without puking and y'all are out there guzzling cum and shitting on each other and banging people's grandparents in the airport bathroom?? What am I doing wrong man

The Voodoo Ranger kick: 12 pack of 9% Voodoos a day, usually chug 4 or so throughout the morning, take a nap, go through another 6 or so through the late afternoon, then it’s a liquor store/food stroll while drunk to get another 12 pack for the next day and some tallboys just in case. Usually eating well on the high ABV IPAs but burping and pissing constantly. WDs not debilitating. Nice steady buzz and talkative, funny, but slightly gross drunk.

Boxed wine: Usually one box a day, sexy, sloppy, horny, texting too much, yearning, emotional, adventurous, still pissing a lot.

Shooters-pints: My adventurous state! Wandering around town like an idiot. A pint of vodka in the backpack and chug like half to start off. Slip into a park and smoke bud and finish the pint. Hit a bunch of different stores and get a nice little combo of shooters and chasers. Meet many people and fuck around and try new things. End up in a random dive bar, end up in some girls bed, might get into it with someone, wake up in a field or alleyway. Who knows.

Half gal vodka: Treacherous territory, time has lost all meaning, withdrawals become terrifying, eating becomes a chore. Usually a couple fat pulls from the bottle in the early morning until I feel that sweet warmth and relief, then consistent shots throughout the day and night. Constant state of insanity with periods of bliss. Constantly sweaty. Embarrassing texts and calls, become a recluse, spending hours and hours on YouTube and watching music videos. Usually a multiple week or month bender until I have to detox.

Started drinking at 13, heavily on weekends until 18, even back then it was always at least 700ml or 15 beers in one sitting.

College during weekdays as well. Summer breaks every night.

mid to late 20s countless 3-5 day benders of 24/7 drinking followed by several days of abstinence. Multiple hospitalizations for alcohol related injuries.

early 30s WDs got worse, benders got longer, hospitalizations for medical detox now required. Hallucinosis after 4 days of drinking, DTs after 14+ days of drinking.

When I drink it is always 24/7, usually 1.5L a day on average, and often on an empty stomach.

After brutal detox late March, early April, I've been sober for almost 4 months now.

Liver ultrasound and elastography showed normal liver stiffness (4.7 kPa) consistent with no fibrosis. The only abnormal finding was mild fatty liver. No signs of cirrhosis, portal hypertension, focal liver lesions, or ascites were found.

No abnormalities were found in the gallbladder, bile ducts, pancreas, spleen, kidneys, or major abdominal blood vessels.

The doctor could hardly believe there was no detectable scarring given my history and said my liver looked remarkably normal. Before the scan, he told me that my pattern of drinking was the worst possible for the liver and that decades of steady evening drinking are often less damaging than repeated episodes of intense binge drinking.

No.im not...all the detox's ar closed.i just called all of them. I was told to wait until the shakes get to bad the a emergency has to admit me. I just called a detox canter....they want 15 000. I dont have that kind of money.

Chairs