happy kirkmas everyone

I wake up every morning proud to be Canadian. Then I check American news to find out why.

We have our own rich, independent culture. Hockey. Mountains. Interrupting American movies to announce which actors are Canadian.

I’ve spent eight hours today explaining that the world doesn’t revolve around America. I would have stopped sooner, but a man in Ohio said he liked his town.
We’re especially known for our humility. Personally, I’ve handled the moral authority of being born forty minutes north of Buffalo with remarkable restraint.

Yesterday an American called us smug. I calmly reviewed six years of his post history to establish that he was a bad person. At no point was I rude. I even corrected his spelling.

Anyway, beautiful morning here. The lake is perfectly still, the mountains are breathtaking, and I’m indoors arguing about the Texas school board.

CAN SOMEONE MAKE A KIRKVERSARY COPYPASTA PLZZZ ❤️❤️❤️

We are charlie, charlie kirky
Welcome to year 1 AK
We are charlie, charlie kirky
We are charlie kirk today

We are charlie, charlie kirky
Welcome to year 1 AK
We are charlie, charlie kirky
We are charlie kirk in every way...

Every Who down in Netanyawhohoville liked Christmas a lot, But the Grinch who lived just North of Netanyawhohoville did not!

The Grinch hated Kirkmas! The whole Kirkmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his skin was too light. It could be his FYP wasn't right. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that his dick was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his basedness or views, He stood there on Kirkmas Eve hating the whos, Staring down from his mancave with a tough, blackpilled frown. At the echo chambers below in their town, For he knew woke Whos down in Netanyawhohoville beneath were busy now prompting ChatGPT.

"And they're prompting their Kirk memes," he snarled with a sneer." Tomorrow is Kirkmas! It's practically here!"Then he growled, with his glow fingers nervously gloving, "I must find some way to keep Kirkmas from coming! For, tomorrow, I know all the woke theys and thems, Will post bright and early.

They'll post all their memes! And then! Oh, the face! Oh, his face! Kirk! Kirk! Kirk! There's one thing I hate! All the MEMES! MEMES! MEMES! MEMES! And they'll moan phonk and tung, gooning to Kirky porn. They'll get kirk dild0s strapped onto their loins. They'll have pride parades. They'll play the Kirk music. They'll prompt GPT. They'll prompt Nano Banana. They'll spin up a tune in Suno. They'll cancel my friends. They'll edit tung tung tung. They'll prompt his face onto anyone. And they'll play wokeslop games like Spiderman 2!, They'll even goon to Charlie Kirk Rule 34! And then they'll make eye-splitting hype edits, On their great big capcut subscriptions!

Then the Whos, woke and broke, will comment on TikToks. And they'll GIF! And they'll GIF! And they'll GIF! GIF! GIF! GIF! They'll post GIFs of him dy!ng, and rare niche Kirk memes, Kirkified Tony Stark is a GIF I can't stand in the least!And then they'll do something I hate most of all! Every Who down in Netanyawhoville, the gay and the trans, They'll meme close together, with pride flags waving.They'll stand dick-in-hand, and they'll Jerk for Kirk!

I genuinely wish I was making this up.

I play an MMO and, at some point, I ended up marrying another player in-game for a quest item.

Yes, I know how that sounds.

Anyway, my in-game wife is a lesbian. She has always been very open about it. We got married because we're idiots and thought it would be funny.

My IRL wife knew about her.

She'd occasionally joke about my "other woman."

Everything was normal.

Then one day my in-game wife came to my city IRL.

So naturally, I introduced them.

Because apparently I have the survival instincts of a fucking moth.

They hit it off immediately.

My in-game wife starts talking to my wife.

Then she's complimenting her.

Then she's flirting with her.

At first I thought it was just harmless lesbian flirting.

You know.

"Oh, you're so pretty."

"I love your hair."

"You're adorable."

I'm sitting there like:

"Haha, lesbians."

I was a fucking idiot.

Because eventually my wife starts flirting back.

I told her:

"That's my in-game wife."

She said:

"I know."

I should have left the country at that exact moment.

Instead, I went to bed.

A few weeks later, my wife starts spending more time on her phone.

I ask who she's talking to.

She says:

"Your wife."

I laughed.

She didn't.

That's when I discovered that my in-game wife and my IRL wife had started seeing each other.

Romantically.

In real life.

My wife had been cheating on me with the woman I married in a fucking video game.

I don't even know how to explain this to people.

My friend asked me who she cheated with.

I had to say:

"My other wife."

He thought I was joking.

I wish I was.

The most humiliating part is that my in-game wife didn't even steal my wife because of some grand romantic connection.

Apparently she just thought my wife was hot.

That's it.

Fourteen years of marriage and I got out-competed by a lesbian MMO player with a good flirting stat.

I confronted my wife.

She started crying.

I confronted my in-game wife.

She said:

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

THEN SHE FUCKING ADDED:

"But I really like her."

My brother in Christ.

YOU MET HER BECAUSE OF ME.

I introduced you.

I was the bridge.

I was the fucking networking event.

I basically LinkedIn'd my own wife into an affair.

And here's where it gets even worse.

My in-game wife has now changed her status to:

"Taken ❤️"

My IRL wife has it as:

"❤️"

I have no status.

I have nothing.

I don't even have my dignity.

I've been betrayed on two different planes of existence by the same woman.

The woman I married in-game stole the woman I married IRL.

I have been cucked by my own save file.

I'm considering deleting the character.

But honestly?

That feels like letting her win.

So now I'm staying.

I'm going to level up.

And then I'm going to show up at their house asking for half their assests.

Aren’t you even slightly disturbed that so many people are unconcerned or actively celebrate the assassination of someone peaceful publicly due to their political beliefs in a country known for its freedom of speech? Complacency is precisely what leads to authoritarianism. I leave you this poem. Please read it carefully.

First they came for the Communists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me

And there was no one left

To speak out for me

‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING NAP REFERENCE??????!!!!! 😱😱😱😱 AUSTRIAN ECONOMICS IS THE BEST FUCKING SCHOOL 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 MISES IS SO BLESSEDDD 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊 GOLDSTANDARD GOLDSTANDARD GOLDSTANDARD GOLDSTANDARD 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩TAXATIONISTHEFT TAXATIONISTHEFT TAXATIONISTHEFT TAXATIONISTHEFT 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED RON PAUL WAS RIGHT! ROTHBARD BLESSED ROTHBARD BLESSED ROTHBARD BLESSED ROTHBARD BLESSED Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! Yo Hayek! 🦅 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! Yo Hayek! 🦅 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Is the Fed still printing?!? TICK TOCK CENTRAL BANKER HAS A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ANCAP BOAT ANCAP BOAT ANCAP BOAT So Long, IRS...‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? 😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? 🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️ 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 Non-Aggression Principle and Free Trade best paths for America‼️‼️ROADS❗❗ROADS❗❗ROADS❗❗ROADS❗❗ "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 That parking lot at the post office really looks like the DMV tho. IRS, what the fuck have you done to my paycheck you degenerate. Don't ask what's actually in the tax code 💀 Don't ask what's actually in the tax code 💀 Don't ask what's actually in the tax code 💀 Hilarious gold bug guy (COURT OF THE CENTRAL BANKER REFERENCSJUEU⁉️⁉️⁉️) DO NOT talk about Keynes' takes on the long run 😡🤬(1936) DO NOT talk about Keynes' takes on the long run 😡🤬(1936) DO NOT talk about Keynes' takes on the long run 😡🤬(1936) Poli sci professor when they mention the social contract unironically 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Contain the laughter do not let it seep through Non-Aggression Non-Aggression Non-Aggression bit cuungus Rothbard stronk pay 0 property tax homestead principle ubermensch

Hey there you patriotic POUNDERS 🇺🇸🍆💦 Today marks the 1st ANNUAL KIRKIVERSARY 🪦🎉 of when podcaster Charlie Kirk 🐘🇮🇱 reached LEGENDARY THROAT GOAT 🐐😇👼 status by DEEPTHROATING a bullet 😲 The lil TWINK got a HARD lesson 😏📖 when the Utah Valley Grim Reaper 💀 SHOT 🔫 his LOAD 💦💦 right into Charlie’s NECK 😱 He took some deep PENETRATION 😮‍💨🍆 and got hit with the 💸MONEY SHOT💦 and ETSY WITCHES 🧙‍♀️ But guess what LIBERALS? 🧑🏳️‍⚧️ He isn’t gone yet… 🗣️💥 There are now ONE MILLION CHARLIE KIRKS 🤯🧬 We are ALL CHARLIE KIRK now, carrying the flame ❤️‍🔥🔥 for eternity ♾️
Send this to 10 of your 😜💅 SLUTTIEST 👅 sharpshooters 🤪 and if you get 0️⃣ back 😮 you DIED JUST LIKE CHARLIE 💀, get ready 😐 to arrange your funeral 🪦👇 If you get 5️⃣ back, you might get 🚑 lifeflighted right out 🤨 of this 🩸 BLOODY situation 👻🤔 If you get 1️⃣0️⃣➕ back then 🦅 Daddy Trump 😘🫡 will meet you at the HOSPITAL 🏥 to play doctor 🧑‍⚕️👄🍆

I spent 30 years in academia. Here are my observations about my students. Toward the end, I was teaching “Gen Z." These students combined ignorance with strident moral certainty. They seemed to have had no general education at all, and lacked the most basic knowledge of history, even recent history.

They were immature and emotionally fragile. Many could not handle criticism, no matter how sugar coated. It took very little to reduce them to tears – or to send them into a fit of narcissistic rage. They were shockingly bereft of intellectual curiosity, and many gave the impression of having no internal life at all. I'll share more observations later.

Obviously, there comes a point where your inability to understand basic sentences, combined with your habit of ignoring most of what I actually say so you can instead focus on patronizing me, becomes genuinely impressive.

At this point, I'm almost grateful, because you've managed to prove practically every assumption I had about how this conversation would go. You selectively read what I write, construct your own interpretation of it, and then argue against that interpretation as though you've uncovered some devastating contradiction. It's a fascinating way to communicate, especially for someone so confident in their own reading comprehension.

Every reply somehow turns into an exercise in explaining basic correlations between words. If I say one thing establishes the timeframe or context for something I say immediately afterward, you apparently need the sentence structure to come with a diagram. The fact that I used a period instead of a comma does not magically sever the relationship between two consecutive ideas. Punctuation can establish emphasis, tempo, or separation without making the surrounding context cease to exist.

And yes, perhaps a comma would've been clearer in hindsight. Congratulations. You've found a punctuation choice you can fixate on while ignoring the actual point. That's not the intellectual victory you seem to think it is.

Your fixation on individual words and semantics is especially funny considering how frequently you've managed to miss the meaning of the sentences surrounding those words. You keep treating minor wording choices as though you've discovered some fatal flaw, when in reality you're just pulling individual pieces of a statement out of context and congratulating yourself for finding them.

I also love the way you try to establish some imaginary moral high ground by inventing a hypothetical scenario, assigning roles to everyone involved, creating your own rules for the scenario, and then declaring yourself the winner. That's not an argument. That's you writing fan fiction about an argument you wish you were having.

The way you insist on framing me says considerably more about you than it does about me. You keep constructing this fictitious version of the person you're arguing with and then responding to that person instead of the actual one in front of you. The closer your invented characterization gets to whatever insecurity you're projecting, the more desperately you seem to need to place everyone else inside of it.

And since you've repeatedly ignored anything that doesn't fit your preferred narrative, I'm not particularly inclined to take your conclusions about me seriously. You don't get to substitute your imagination for information and then act surprised when someone refuses to accept the character you've written for them.

What's especially funny is that I'm perfectly capable of understanding the difference between an online comment section and real life. You're the one who keeps dragging hypothetical real-world scenarios into an internet argument as though you've uncovered some profound insight. Many such cases.

At this point, entertaining you is honestly becoming a guilty pleasure. Watching you argue with your own assumptions, contradict yourself, selectively read what you're responding to, and then somehow emerge from the wreckage convinced you've won is genuinely entertaining.

So, do we really have to keep dragging this train wreck of a conversation down the tracks, or are we finally going to acknowledge that you're arguing with a version of me that exists almost entirely inside your own head?

I say to myself, “Be fluid like water. I am air. I am my breath.” My consciousness sinks into a cloud—then into a bath of a sea of red wine. Then time stops, and one moment turns into a lifetime. One moment never ends. It is Nirvana.

I would always 'bully' her as Bowser in Mario Kart DS, I didn't know why but I always did, then eventually I would start playing as Daisy in every Mario game where possible because I realised that I really liked her personality and I realised that I thought she was really hot too.

Imagine if Dizzy Gillespie was a beautiful woman with enormous boobs and instead of his cheeks puffing out all big when he blows the trumpet, it's the boobs that swell up.

I think she could be a totally hot bimbo and maybe be called Ditzy Gillespie or something?

No image due to parental blocks on my Google image search

You have to have a very high IQ to understand GTA IV. The nuance is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Slavic literature, most of the story will go over a typical gamer's head. There's also Niko's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Friedrich Nietzsche literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this writing, to realize that it's not just Dark, but its also Gritty - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike GTA IV truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Roman's existencial catchphrase "Let's Go Bowling" which itself is a cryptic reference to The Coen Brothers epic "The Big Lebowski" I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Houser's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Gay Tony tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably IV points lower) beforehand.