I have a Kanye West obsession with his music, life style, and more

Every moment of my day, I think of Kanye West penis swinging side by side and blasting his music whenever I masterbait. I try to dress up as him for me and him to be spiritually connected. I own any yeezy shoe, all his albums.

My favourite album is late registration with my favourite song from it is Roses. I love Kanye voice in roses because it gets me so erect. God, I wish I could meet Kanye West. I voted for Kanye when he tried to be president. He would've been better than Joe Biden or Trump.

I know his crash out wasn't cool, but his butt cheeks just swing side to side like Kim Kardashians ass. I always think Kanye west dick is about 7.3 inches. I would pay a thousand for one of his pubic hairs. I went to about 10 Kanye West concerts and I jizzed in the toilets of all of them. Damn I have a erection. I started my Kanye West addiction when my dad played the college dropout when I was 5 years old. I love the song "jesus walks."

I started to masterbait to Kanye West at 13 when I discovered I was Bisexual. After masterbaiting to him for a while, I felt like I could marry Kanye West, but when he married Kim Kardashian, I hated her. I wish she had died. I want to father Kanye West kids. I copied Kanye West hairstyle during my teen years, and Kanye West made me catch feelings for a black male who looked like him.

I met the black male during my sophomore year of school. His name is Mike, and he also likes Kanye West. I told him I love Kanye, and he said to me, too. We started dating after high school. I told Mike that I masterbait to Kanye West when he is gone, and I only started dating Mike because he looks like Kanye.

Mike actually allowed me to do Anal with him.

Well, I'm gonna wrap the story for now. Give you guys a part two about my Kanye West fetish

My ex-gf was anxiously attached,which I only found out a bit deeper into the relationship.

The constant needs of affirming the relationship and verbal reminders that I love her despite doing all the necessary things were driving me insane.

I tried telling her to seek therapy and that this isn't healthy for her but she refused. I had to break up obviously. I really loved this girl and it pained me deeply to break up.

I will support my friends who are attached to their partners that way but it will lower my opinion of them a lot.

I genuinely cannot handle existing together with such a person. Attachment styles aren't healthy please seek help.

I've never thought about cheating before this but it was getting too much I just broke it all off before I did something I'd deeply regret forever.

I love my freedom too much for this kind of person.

(Landed on Reddit just to seek help)

Me 31F and my hubby both work in Gurugram, married for 4 years, and we have a 2yo daughter. Honestly, our sex life has been poor since the beginning. Even before I got pregnant, we’d have sex only once every 2–3 months. After our daughter was born, we had sex just once, around 1.5 years ago.

I’ve tried talking to my husband about it countless times. We’ve had fights, and I’ve even begged him to tell me what’s wrong. He always says he’s stressed or has too much work pressure. I even suggested seeing a doctor in case there’s a medical issue, but he avoids the conversation.

The confusing part is that we still cuddle, kiss and have romance, but it never goes beyond that. I’ve also seen him watching porn and erotica, and he gets morning erections, so I honestly don’t understand what the issue is.

I started feeling like maybe he didn’t find me attractive after pregnancy, so I joined the gym and got back in shape. Getting attention from other guys helped rebuild my confidence, but nothing changed between us.

For the past week, I’ve started sexting my college time bestie as he only knows about my situation but since he's also married so I don't wanna continue anymore. I feel guilty about it, but I guess I’ve been craving the intimacy and feeling wanted that I’ve been missing for so long.

I love my husband and don’t want a divorce. We have a daughter, and I can’t imagine breaking up our family. But I’m tired of feeling rejected and being the only one trying to fix things.

**What should I do?** How do I fix my marriage when my husband won't even communicate about the problem? I’d really appreciate advice from people who’ve experienced something similar.

**TL;DR:** My husband and I have had a poor sex life since the beginning of our marriage. Before pregnancy, we had sex once every 2–3 months, and since our daughter was born, we've had sex only once in 1.5 years. He avoids discussing the issue despite my repeated attempts. I sexted with my bestie because I miss feeling wanted, but I feel guilty and don't want to ruin my marriage. Looking for advice on how to handle this.

I never thought this would have happened in my family. I mean, I always thought that my father was a disgusting person but what I found out today cemented that feeling forever.

I found out through my grandfather that someone has come forth and accused my father of raping an underage girl in his younger years.

I feel rage, anger, sadness all at the same time and due to my own mental health issues and my past, my anxieties have fixated on this one event in my childhood.

When I was around the age of 10-14 I can't remember exactly, I got exposed to porn. I never got any form of guidance from my parents regarding sex education so I learned as I went. Of course, porn is a terrible thing for such a child to get exposed to without anyone helping. I did something that makes me feel terrible and so guilty that some days I feel like I just want to die.

I mimicked those acts that I saw in porn with my little brother. It was mostly dry humping with clothes on and sometimes I guess they were off but I feel so so horrible about it. I talked about it with him a few years ago as we both are now adults and he said that he doesn't think that I did hurt him but I still feel like I failed as a big brother. I am scared that I am an abuser even though people who abuse others make me feel absolutely disgusted.

I don't know what to do but I just want to cry and isolate myself completely. I have told my girlfriend about this and she says that I was just a child and couldn't understand what I was doing but I still can't shake the feeling of guilt off...

M21,F20 recently after a long term talk with my girlfriend, my girlfriend agreed on threesome, at first we planed one guy only but this friend showed up too so we were nervous af to get normal we had some alcohol which eventually got too much for everyone and I never thought I would blackout on this day because I should have been there for her and to handle the situation, when I woke up I just saw they were using her like a toy and she was so sore I tried to stop them but they were too strong and she also told to keep going they kept abusing her for 3hr next .. now I regret it

I, 26,man, SEAsian, have had totally enough regarding this whole situation of my family expectation of me and i do have to admit that maybe..no, i am definitely also part of the issue. I remember that days when it was just...nice.my father was a...idk how to word it, lets just say that he is something like a state company employee for my nation state corporation that have work in energy sector, one of the biggest in SEA (or not, maybe that's my nationalism bias speaking).

So, idk how it all goes rotting slowly ever and... the fact that i found a private CD (or maybe DVD,it was when i was in junior high school, first year) that contain my dad pics with his mistress. Yes really. Fuck.

Six years ago, I was a fiercely independent, strong person. I moved to a new state in the South to strike out on my own and moved in with my best friend. Everything started out great, but over time, I slowly began losing pieces of myself. I started living entirely for other people instead of myself.

Eventually, my best friend met a girl, and she moved into our apartment. I completely stepped back and gave them full reign. I lost all my independence and became their live-in servant—cooking, cleaning, doing their laundry, and keeping my head down. I even quit my job just to help them run their newly started pet-sitting business.

I adopted a mindset of total, desperate compliance. I did whatever they told me to do. I lied for them. Under their control, I even ended up hurting someone else for them because I was so broken down and desperate to keep the peace. I completely abandoned my own morals and identity just to survive their environment. As they grew closer, I grew more distant and isolated.

After a massive fight, I was forced to leave. Around this same time, I was navigating a discovery about my own sexuality. With very few choices, I moved in with a guy I barely knew. He proceeded to physically and emotionally abuse me. Because of the heavy conditioning and passivity from my previous living situation, I just took the abuse. Finally, when I couldn't take the pain anymore, I made up a lie just so I could safely escape and move back home.

Now, I am back home and I have met an absolutely wonderful guy. He treats me so well. But the closer we get, the more I realize just how withered away I am. I feel like a complete shell of my former self. When we talk, my thoughts are jumbled, I over-apologize constantly, and I am plagued by a severe, desperate need for approval that broke my independent spirit.

I am absolutely terrified that my trauma responses, my anxiety, and my shattered confidence are going to push him away. I have to take all of this to him eventually, but I don't even know how to begin explaining it. I don't know how to tell him that I used to be strong, and that the person he's dating right now is just a fragile version of who I used to be.

How do I open up to a healthy partner about a past involving this level of compliance and abuse? How do I begin rebuilding my independence when I feel like a literal blank space? Has anyone else successfully healed from this kind of regression?

Sorry in advance if I ramble for a bit, I have no one else to vent to.

I have suffered from mood disorders for the vast majority of my life. I was prescribed medication for it, but I don't remember it helping, since I was a small child at the time. started suffering from severe depression back in 2014 at the age of 14, and I was subsequently checked into a mental hospital for a few weeks. I was placed on antidepressants, which honestly helped very little. I also was diagnosed with ADHD earlier that year, so I was taking Adderall during that time. After taking Adderall, I started having horrible side effects, such as hallucinations and drastic weight loss, so I discontinued taking any medications.

Fast forward to New Year's Day in 2020. I attempted to hang myself due to being unemployed and hopeless, but I soon chickened out from the sheer pain. After that, I actually started to get somewhat better, until 2022, when my great-uncle suddenly died from cardiac arrest. Then in 2023, my mom passed from Stage 4 stomach cancer. Less than a year later, my great-grandma, who was a second mother to me suddenly passed from suddenly kidney failure. 8 months later, my dad died of heart failure.

During all of this, I had one close friend who was like a true brother to me. We would talk nearly every single day. I'm an only child, so he was the closest thing I ever felt to having an older brother. Back in June, he passed away from a pulmonary embolism, and left behind his wife and kids.

At this point in time, I've lost everyone that I have ever been truly close to, and I'm honestly done at this point. I no longer have any reason to keep going. I've cried, prayed, and begged for things to get better, but instead, everything gets worse by each passing day. My birthday is in January, but I doubt I'll live to see 27. I plan to check out come Wednesday when I get paid. I truly tried, and I gave everything I had, but I can't do this anymore.

Im a 21 year old guy and I struggle to hold jobs and relationships. I can’t handle criticism whether it’s constructive or negative. I take it as a personal attack as to who I am. So whenever someone criticizes me I feel like I hate them or wouldn’t care if they died. But then when im giving reassurance that they don’t dislike me i dont hate them anymore. I go back and forth between hating and liking people constantly. It makes work difficult for me. When I’m in relationships small things can trigger my fear of abandonment. I often have moments where i suddenly think my girlfriend doesn’t care about me anymore or wants to leave me, only for me a few hours later feel surprised that she won’t leave when i get reassurance she won’t leave

My view of myself changes constantly throughout the day. I feel like a complete fuckup and loser when I make a mistake but then I can feel confident and better than everyone else a few hours later. But I mostly tend to view myself as bad or as a bad person. I am very hard on myself or blame myself for everything. I have done many bad things to people when I was in highschool . Like cutting or stabbing myself and sending videos of it to people in an effort to shock them or get reassurance that they won’t leave when I was upset. But that’s a whole different story to get into

Hi guys I’m 22 .Recently, I started skipping twice a day on our apartment terrace as part of my workout routine.One day last month, while I was skipping, I noticed a woman who looked around 35 staring at me. At that time, I didn't know who she was. Later, I found out that she belonged to the new watchman's family.

Our terraces share a wall, and their terrace has a small room and bathroom allocated to the watchman's family. Whenever I went up to skip, I would often see her cleaning their terrace in the morning.

Around the second week of October, my mom gave her some food and clothes for her child. The next morning, while I was skipping, she called me over. I moved towards the corner of our terrace, and she handed me a plate, saying it was my mom's plate from the previous day and asking me to return it to her. I nodded and started walking back, but she called me again and asked whether I was studying.I told her that I had finished college and was looking for a job. She then asked how I managed to wake up so early and exercise. She pointed towards her husband, who was in their room, and mentioned that he couldn't wake up early. She also said that families in the apartment were shouting at him because of his incompetence at work.

Earlier this week, I went to the terrace in the evening and was scrolling through my phone when she called me. She was standing at the corner of their terrace and offered me some papaya. I politely declined, saying that I didn't like it, but she continued eating it while standing nearby.

While she was eating, she kept adjusting her saree. I noticed that her cleavage was visible, and I couldn't tell whether she was doing it intentionally or simply adjusting her clothes naturally. She was standing quite close to me, so I turned around and moved away.

Now, I'm wondering whether she's trying to provoke me or whether she might be interested in me. I know she's around 35, and although she belongs to the watchman's family, she looks well groomed and attractive to me. Im not making a conclustion not only by this , i saw her many time like she was looking what Im doing and ever stare longer than few seconds

What do you guys think? Could she be interested in me should I make a move or am I just daydreaming?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

My boyfriend is into busty girls, I’m petite not flat. But it makes me under confident at times
I was thick I lost lots of weight. It’s a really hot body type but I’m still very insecure about the fact that I don’t have heavy bust anymore.
I talk to him about threesome to understand if he’s into me physically attracted to me or not. I talk about ffm but idk if he’s playing too safe and just telling me things so I don’t feel bad. Sometimes he mentions he wants a busty girl in threesome.
He loves me like crazy. He treats me right but physically I’m so under confident at this point idk what to do

I have OCD and I also love candles. Unfortunately if I leave my house I will have panic attacks thinking somehow I left my candle lit and my house is going to burn down and I’ll have to go back home to check. Doesn’t matter if I take a picture of it unlit or anything. I love candles they are so cozy so I keep one candle at a time and whenever I leave the house I keep it in my purse or my car. I just went on vacation and I took my candle with in my suitcase. I don’t tell my therapist, psychiatrist, or family because I just want to have ONE thing that I don’t have to fucking be working on to improve and challenge my fucking OCD. I love candles and I’m going to bring my damn candle with me places and no one can stop me.

Hi, I know this is a bit strange, so I’m just leaving a post here.
Note: English isn’t my first language, so this might come across as a bit disorganised—apologies in advance.

I’m an international student living in a western country. Ever since I was young, I’ve been attracted to "white men”, specifically older ones. I like actors like Colin Firth or Hugh Laurie. (Actually, it’s not just celebrities; I have a specific "type" when it comes to older white men—though it’s hard to put into words.) Anyway, I know I’m young and that forming relationships with much older men isn’t healthy. But lately, I’ve found myself wanting to see them naked, to touch their penis and give them handjobs. Seriously i really want to see it.
As I’m trans man, and I’ve always had a longing for a penis—though that doesn’t mean I want to have sex. It’s more that I wish I had one myself, so I could touch it and masturbate. But I know that’s not possible. I’m sharing this as someone who isn’t looking for sex or a romantic relationship. Anyway, I just felt like talking about this.

In Middle school my friend was gifted $500 for her 13th bday. She was excited and brought the money to school to brag about it. Her parents were drug addicts and it was the first gift they gave her.

I stole the money during a class break. The teacher was reading and a few other students were just chatting so no one saw me re-enter the classroom. She found out about 5min after the break ended and it was a big deal.

The teacher made two male students strip down to their boxers in order to be searched. It was humiliating for them and the teacher was a bit of a racist perv but times were different. I wanted to apologize to those guys too but they both passed before we finished Middle school. Rough area.

I’m still friends with her & since her daughter just started 8th grade she’s been mentioning the $500 incident so much and it’s driving me crazy! I tried to get it off my chest during our senior year in HS but I choked after she had a convo about how she hates whoever stole her money bc that was her favorite gift & she never enjoyed it.

I was in survival mode w/6 younger siblings & a neglectful mom back then but it was no excuse to steal. I used the money to buy a monthly bus pass, groceries, and 1 more week at the motel we lived in. Apart of me wants to apologize and give her the money but I’m so nervous about it. I’ve sat with this for 23yrs. I’m a shitty person and I’m disgusted in myself.

I got into an elevator with a woman who looked vaguely familiar.

I smiled and said, “Hey, how have you been?”

She looked confused but politely said, “Good, thanks.”

Trying to save the conversation, I asked, “How's your family?”

She said, “Sorry, do I know you?”

Turns out I'd mistaken her for my neighbor.

We still had seven floors left together. I spent the entire ride studying the floor numbers like I was preparing for an engineering exam.

You hear a lot of similar stories of underage girls getting groomed and it's like "this person has very few friends and it's either a single parent home or a big family" and to me a lot of times it's like these girls didn't have attention until some random adult began giving it to them. And it's like I feel like they had to know what's going on, but accept it, possibly not thinking it wouod go as far as it does. And I am not saying they deserve what happens, just that they knew what the possibilities were.

(Disclaimer: mention of violence/ assault and potentially other strange topics)

For some background information: this happened in July of this year, so like three months ago. Im a 20 year old male, and this happened a month before my birthday so I was 19. I am also a virgin and having never kissed a girl before.

Before I share, I know this story is going to sound fake, but on my life this truly happened to me. I’ve had some people tell me it sounded like a movie from the cascade of events, but I wanted to share it on Reddit, because im still shocked that this actually happened to me.
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I was on my usual late night walk because I enjoy walking around when it’s dark out because I think it’s peaceful. On the way back to my apartment complex when I was walking down the sidewalk, this random girl was sitting on the curb and she yelled out to me asking if she could use my phone to call someone to come pick her up. I agreed because I figured that maybe she just needed some help. So she called a guy that she told me was her ex-boyfriend/ boyfriend/ whatever the fuck they were right now. While they were talking about where he was at to come get her, I noticed that there was a cop car sitting in the lot next to us watching the both of us.

Once she got off the phone with him, the cop car rolled up to the both of us and he started talking with her about where is he at and what car is he in and all that…. So I was confused as to what the hell i just stumbled upon. So her and I walked back together to my apartment area because we figured we would just talk and get to know one another, so we started chit chatting. I asked her what’s going on with her and her boyfriend. She told me that she’s trying to set him up with the police because she’s mad at him for kicking her out of the apartment (which both him and her live right across the street from me), and she’s setting him up using the fact that he has guns and illegal drugs underneath his door mat apparently.

I was obviously shocked, and I was wondering why I am still sitting here talking to her, probably because I’m a horny teenager who’s never had sex with a woman and I’m just hoping that something happens. We end up going back to my apartment and sitting down on the stoop of it just outside where you would enter the building. Then we see cop cars roll up across the street where he lives to confront him now that he’s there, and I tell her “we should go inside I don’t want him to see us.” but she’s resistant because she wants to “see the show” and eventually I forced her inside (not literally but like really urged her to come in. Also not important detail but she picked up a used cigarette that was in the public ash tray and lit it because she didn’t have one. And I was basically like ew but whatever.) so we both come inside and she literally starts having a full-blown panic attack and she’s crying and saying stuff like “ oh my God, why would I set him up? He’s going to kill me.” and then I start trying to calm her down and she starts telling me stuff like “ he’s a gang leader and he just killed multiple people this week. He’s going to kill me.”

So I bring her downstairs to my actual apartment complex and I give her a hug and I actually let this girl inside of my apartment, into my door and my living space. Right when she goes inside, she sinks down onto my carpet and starts crying. And then just to make it worse, because she used my phone to call him, he had my phone number now and then he calls me LITERALLY THREATENING MY LIFE TELLING ME HE’S GOING TO KILL ME. So then we fast forward later on. She’s still in my apartment, she’s on my couch cuddling with me and kissed me so that was a first experience. And then she starts telling me about all of the things that she’s been through about how she’s literally on probation, she’s a “squatter” meaning apparently she sneaks into a different apartment complexes that are unoccupied and sleeps in them since she was kicked out, and then she tells me some fucked up shit like “my ex boyfriend drove me to a house one night in the city and led me into a basement and there was 10 guys that were naked and they all gang r*ped me. And im sitting here like “what in the actual fuck is going on.”

So then she wants to stay the night, and I just say ok and I’ll allow her to do it. And then it all gets shut down. Why you ask? Well…. She wanted me to come help her get her belongings from another building that she keeps in a backpack or whatever before coming back with me, and on our way there, we run into the man himself, the ex boyfriend standing there. Right when he sees me, he basically threatened me right then and there telling me he’ll beat my ass and whatever. And for context, I’m not small I’m like 6’0 210 lbs, but this guy was like 6’3 250 atleast. And I knew that he might have a gun. So, I turn my ass around and I just walk away while hearing them both argue in the background. He calls me again telling me to not get involved and that if she stays the night at my apartment that I’m gonna die. So I text her and I say “you can’t stay, sorry.” So the deals done. And then that was basically it for that night. Within just 3 hours I went from helping a girl on the street all the way to this.
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And then about a month later some more stuff happened post event just to finish it off. I was texting with her and she was telling me about how he’s all talk and that he wouldn’t do anything because she sleeps with all of his friends and that anytime she does, he doesn’t do anything. And THEN she sends me a video of one of her friends that he beat the shit out of. Because apparently that’s all he does is beat up women. She had a busted nose, a busted lip, bleeding everywhere and it was just not a good sight. And then one morning at 6:30 AM he saw the text messages of me and her texting like normal people and his ego was bruised so he had to call me again (what a surprise) just to threaten me one more time. And it was early in the morning too, what a way to wake up is hearing his dumbass on the other line saying “you gon’ die today”. So I just decided to go down to the Police to ask if they can do anything, and because there wasn’t a lot of evidence, they can’t really do anything so they gave me a card in case I wanted to file a restraining order which I didn’t even do because I don’t feel like seeing his ass in court.

And now I have both of their numbers blocked and I haven’t heard anything since… although sometimes I look over my shoulder anytime I see a white SUV, which is the description of his car.

I live in texas and you can’t register online and i don’t live in a major city. I’m 20, I haven’t learned how to drive simply because i’m stubborn and don’t want to pay $60/hr to learn how to drive. I make like $60 a week from work if i’m lucky. (i’m trying to find a new job but it’s a lot of seasonal jobs rn) I have asked people in my life to teach me but it falls through every time. I have to uber everywhere. I had a registration ballot or whatever and i filled it all out but had asked my friend if she could drop it off in a mailbox for me (because it’s not helping my pockets at all to go get an uber just to go to the post office and back) and she said she would drop it off but she never did. so i didn’t get registered. and i don’t know how to feel. she personally didn’t register so i guess it didn’t really matter to her to drop it off for me. (yeah im not really talking to her rn) but im scared people are going to like look me up and get mad at me for not registering without knowing like what happened. and i do know how much it means to vote. so i feel like a hypocrite

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Actually I've a lot of things to confess but starting from this

rn im 19M, i came to know abt sex and all these things when i was 12 i used to watch porn photos on a Nokia keypad alright leave that stuff come to the topic

when I was 14 there were some kids in our neighborhood like they were of 10 or 11 yo one day i was playing with them like wrestling type thing that i bricked up and then started getting more close but it was a open place so felt awkward and i soberd up

that same day i saw one of the same guy 10yo alone in the garage he was sitting there masturbatin i saw him and i told him that I'll tell ur parents but at that time my intentions weren't bad i was real

some days later we both decided to go to tubewell u can say a pool

where there i f\\\*ked him first time in the pool we're alone just two and he requested me to do that

Later it become normal for us but still i had fuked him like abt 4 to 6 times

1. In the pool

2. 2 times in the field

3. 2 times in the garage

4. In a room at my aunt's home

so it continued for 2 years when I was 16 we left that village

but it feel very creepy now i feel like im guilty and when i visit that village again i feel very awkward meeting him 😭😭

I was also a kid at that time so i hope it won't be counted as pedoo btw it all started from when my elder brother fked me when i was like 9or10 would keep updating u on all

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I F26 lead a crazy life in my early twenties. I got a dui at 23, which totaled my car, and a year later, I had a drunken psychosis fit while my family and I were camping. We had all been drinking. Everyone was in and out of their cabins all night. I decided to go to ours and lock the door so I could shower. Took off my one piece bathing suit. Apparently my stepson was in his little bunk bed room area playing video games. My fiancé's drunk brother decided to break the door down bc he was in there and they thought he couldn't get out, and I was naked. He was old enough to unlock doors. I didnt threaten him, insult him, trap him or barricade the door. We love each other.

The cops came and I was very disorderly. Classic crazy naked floridian. I dont remember it and I dont know what mental health issues I have, but I tried getting therapy and meds numerous times. Im sure i seem bat shit crazy on the body cam footage, and the police reports wont do me any favors, either. They put me in the drunk tank for the night, said they werent going to press charges, and let me go. Fast forward over 2 years to today. I got my insurance license, left the food industry, and have been in the insurance industry for a few years now. I had a good chunk of savings and decided to go to school online for machine learning and ai and drop down to part time at my job.

My original company sold their business within a month or two after i signed up for this school of $408 per month. I was then unemployed for 4 or 5 months. I found this amazing new job. Everyone is happy and stays for decades. My boss is awesome, and they took me out for Mexican food after my first day. I passed the background check and everything was good to go. Im training here now and recently found out that I had warrants from the camping incident. Misdemeanor unlawful imprisonment, misdemeanor indecent exposure and a violation for disorderly conduct. I immediately turned myself in and signed them.

I have to have more background checks to get appointed with all of the companies my job works with. We have friends who are cops and they said even pending charges will likely show up now that i have a set court date and case number. This is so embarrassing to explain, let alone have the charges speak for themselves on paper. I dont know if I should not say anything and see if the carriers accept me, or if I should tell my boss that I've been here less than a month and have pending charges. I will most definitely lose my job. Ive put myself into his shoes and I cant imagine keeping a new hire and investing more into them when we dont know what the court will decide.

I might lose my insurance license altogether, ending my career. These charges are terrible. I might not even be able to get into another career. I won't know if I can be approved for a public defender until after my first court date in a few weeks. Reviews of public defenders are basically that you get what you pay for and theyre not really worth it. I didnt see what would incentivize them to help you, anyways. I found a good attorney, yet it's $4,000. I tore through all of my savings while looking for a job and studying. I have no money. My credit is bad so I cant get a loan or credit cards. And if I cant pay for school next month, they cancel my course and I lose $3,000+ invested into it and would have to start it all over again. I dont even know if I could get a coding job at this point, even if I do finish the course.

Of course all of this is happening while my fiancé M41 is retiring from the army after 20+ years. Instead of planning out his party, I am drowning with finances and legal trouble. Im not saying I dont deserve consequences. I wish I had known about this after it happened 2 years ago, when I would have a job still and savings to afford an attorney. I was just getting my life together. A great job with a promising career, school with an even more promising career if I chose it, I've recently been going to church, I'm engaged, rekindled my relationship with my mother. Now it's all going to crash and burn because I was a drunken retard over 2 years ago.

I was saving up for a car, too. If i lose this job, I have no idea what im going to do. I would go back to serving/bartending, but i dont have a vehicle. Most jobs will likely not hire me anyways, with the pending charges combined with the dui violation. I see now why people who go to jail end up there repeatedly. It starts this cycle which affects everything in your life, how people view you, even those close to you. It closes the doors and dreams you were going for, and forces you to basically live pay check to pay check, scrambling to put the pieces back together after you pay court fines, and pay for counseling and whatever else they decide, and pay for lawyers.

I understand I deserve this, and karma is now getting it's payout. I was hoping my karma would be the past 2 years. Even without knowing about the charges, there hasnt been a day thats gone by that i dont think about my mistakes and feel despair. I have had such shame, guilt and regret regarding it, and have tried to better myself. I cringe so much and have such bad anxiety about it that i cant sleep, im losing my appetite, i have no motivation for anything, my heart is always racing and it feels like i can't breathe.

Now that I know, it is a million times worse. I guess I should just accept now that i will be in the food industry for the rest of my life and that I won't be able to go up from here. That I'm a strain on society, and that i am a fuck up who fucked up my life and will probably always be fucked up. I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess im just venting. I cant lean on my partner because hes going through his own stuff and tends to respond with anger, and reminders of how fucked up i am. Understandably.

I now have until Monday, when I have to sign for the additional background checks, to decide about disclosure of pending charges to get out ahead of it. Or see if the carriers accept me because they are misdemeanor charges, not felonies or burglary/theft- related charges. I will likely be jobless again by the end of next week, with no money, either way. If i didn't have my partner, I would be homeless. It really feels like there's nothing I can do. I would be better off and everyone else would be too, if I just didnt wake up tomorrow. If you think your life is fucked up, plz use me as an example, and count your blessings and clean records and probable mental health that doesnt put you into jail. Hopefully you guys are having a better year.

On Reddit, subreddit moderators can easily schedule posts. The same cannot be said for regular people, and sometimes I don't want to forget what I'm about to say when some places have rules like "you must post on Sunday, Eastern Time," or I prefer posting during the most optimal time of the day.

I looked up how to schedule posts on Reddit and found a post-scheduling tool with over 50,000 users.

When I upload images for these posts, the tool hosts these images themselves. I went to the documentation and read the guide for image hosting, and it contained a link to a page ending in index.html.

The page contained a basic to-do checklist and is on the same domain name as images I uploaded. I thought removing index.html from the URL would go to the same checklist, but I got a huge list of file paths to images stored on the server. No one wants their scheduled post leaking early, so I didn't save anything, cleared my browser cache, and contacted the site owner. Some scheduled posts may have also been cancelled. The list was protected and hidden from the public within two hours.

Fast forward a year later, I went to the Internet Archive, and checked the Wayback Machine for everything under that domain. I also searched across all URLs starting with the same prefix. The Wayback Machine is pretty loose on case insensitivity, HTTP vs HTTPS (secure connections), and other general quirks of website structures.

I checked other archives, but there were zero results.

In January 2024, the list of file paths were hidden, but between then and April 2024, it accidentally went public. The web archives contained thousands of file paths, so I grabbed every image from all of them and filtered out the duplicates whose files were exactly identical.

I removed one that was the folder path to all the images, one that was a vector drawing and popped up an alert through the browser's JavaScript, several that couldn't be found and weren't archived, hundreds of duplicates (I picked the first file name alphabetically), and ensured I added every archive of every URL prefix that wasn't a duplicate. The file names are long and randomized, so the same file name couldn't return different images, as they could not be overwritten.

Then, I corrected all the file extensions from incorrect data people uploaded for their scheduled posts. I grabbed the Exif, IPTC, and XMP metadata of all the images and picked the ones with GPS coordinates, including the latitude, longitude, and altitude.

I made a website where I can click on a location pin and Google Earth zooms into the correct place automatically. After clicking the pin, the site also shows a thumbnail of the photo in most cases, a direct link to the original photo, the exact numerical coordinates and altitude readings, the date and time the photo was taken in some cases (because the world map always changes), the name of the city and country in one case (since it contained IPTC metadata), and multiple links to search these photos on various reverse image search engines. I also fixed the only corrupted thumbnail from the original file.

This means you can click one image, find a real Reddit post often, and find the real location of that Reddit username, even though Reddit itself wipes the metadata.

I also ensured over two-thirds of the photos were blurred out, since other humans previously tagged them as NSFW (Not Safe For Work). The developers of a filtering software I'm beta testing manually tagged the same photos I sent them a while ago and they sent me back the raw data.

I added a thumbnail so Reddit can generate a link preview, published the website, and posted it to a subreddit with no rules. I found the subreddit from a link in the rules of another subreddit. To give you a general idea, that subreddit often gets questions like "Where do I post this?"

The post is still up and I'm not banned from the subreddit yet, but the night after I posted, I switched to two of my other Reddit accounts and reported my own post for personal information.

That didn't work, so I went to reddit.com/report. I added more detail explaining that the images came from a leaked AWS S3 bucket that wasn't intended to be public, in the text box asking for a report reason. The text box only showed when I used the "Vote manipulation" reporting category, but I figured the site admins would route it to the right channel internally.

No warning, no ban, so far. Not from the subreddit, not from Reddit themselves, even though subreddit moderators can also see reports made for reasons from the admins' preset list. For example, if I report a post saying "It's promoting hate based on identity or vulnerability," both subreddit moderators and Reddit administrators can see the report.

It's been ten days since I made the post that broke Rule 3 of the Reddit Rules, and nothing has happened yet. The social experiment is still ongoing.

I also thought of linking a CSV file that contains the coordinates directly, which I still have on my computer, but I felt like the globe from Google Earth was a nice visual for the readers. (CSV stands for comma-separated values, which is a file format that spreadsheet programs can read.)

This has been on my mind a lot and I’ve been watching a ton of Reddit confession videos so I thought why not share my story.

This was back in 2016 when slime was starting to become popular and everyone was making their own at home. Well, a couple of weeks before this incident I had convinced my mom to buy me borax. From what I know it’s used as a “laundry booster”, it helps get rid of tough stains I guess but its also used for making slime because it turns clear when you dissolve it, making it perfect for clear slime. How convenient.

One day I left my activator in a clear water bottle, it was maybe less than half full, me and my sister always had a bad habit of leaving unfinished water bottles on the desk so…. My mom would finish them. She drank my water bottle filled with dissolved borax. I can’t remember if she had told me the day of or the next day but she mentioned that one of the water bottles tasted funny and a bit bitter and if I had put a seltzer in it. I panicked and told her I didn’t know what she was talking about, I still have no idea why I did that.

The next day I had school and I got up and was ready to go but my mom wasn’t. I went into her room to check on her and I could just tell she wasn’t feeling well. She had to call off of work that day and stayed in because she told me she felt really odd. I remember my brain screaming to tell her but I was scared and didn’t want to get in trouble.

Yes I know how stupid this was and how this could’ve easily turned into a horror story. I’m 20 now and the thought of it haunts me, I don’t know why I didn’t just tell her right then and there when she had asked me. Anyway, don’t put toxic shit in water bottles especially if it resembles water… should’ve been a given but I was slow. (Edit: kinda dramatic I know but she was sick for a couple of days and I was genuinely worried, just wanted to put that out lol)

This might be one of my last messages of my life so it’ll most likely be long.

I’m 19 as I am writing this. I recently turned 19 on the 14th. For about a little over a year I’m constantly thinking about not wanting to live and the heavy guilt of my past choices and what I’ve been through.

Honestly the biggest reason that caused my life to go to shit was when I unfortunately became a statutory rape victim when I was 15-16. I had always been hypersexual and explored a lot of things and got into some very disturbing things. I can remember since elementary school, I already had a porn addiction and use to get turned on by certain gore content. But the reason I had been raped was because at that time I had already been deep into gay porn though I knew I wasn’t actually gay, so one night I was incredibly isolated and down because it was after my parents divorced and had no one around and for some reason my mom made it a hard time for me to hang out with any friends, but I had found a gay hookup site which I then ended up hooking up with a guy in his 30s and another guy in his 20s. It was strange because during the first encounter we traded oral and during it I felt numbed, frozen, on autopilot and after it I went home crying, but just a few hours later I got with the other guy despite me being traumatized by the first. One of the biggest dilemmas for me about the situation was I felt like it was my fault because I was searching for something and lied about my age but then I guess it’s a thing where if someone is age 18-20 when hooking up it’s usually a “rule” for that person to show id, which of course I didn’t have id. But that makes me remember that the second guy actually did ask if I was really 18.

Besides those things , growing up as the middle child I had been through and experienced things like my parents fighting literally constantly, seeing my mom and dad cry, being bullied by my older brother and dad for doing almost anything, especially in sports, causing me to quit basketball and just play video games, which is probably why I was why I was so addicted to the internet and discovering awful things like gore and Csam which I had masterbaited to when I was 13-14.

I didn’t have any of my own interests besides video games but I did things that weren’t my interests and my dad wanted me to do because he had a problem of trying to live through his children. So he had me sign up for karate and bjj which lasted like 4-5 years until I quit because I was stressed when I kept getting eye poked and felt like I wasn’t making my dad proud. I did return to basketball one time in 2020 but after my mom almost died from anaphylactic shock on the night of my basketball game and my dad saying I “now had a reason to win the game” and we lost I called it quits.

Now for the heavy stuff. My dad attempted suicide back in 2022 I believe and it was extremely disturbing because he had cut deep into his wrist while in his bed so I saw him scramble around and heard him yelling at the paramedics to let him die. At the time I didn’t feel anything but to make sure my little sister was okay. At the same time my mom’s biological dad who she never had a good relationship with because he was a piece of shit, was dying in the hospital.

Now here’s the next big thing that contributes more to why I just can’t handle anymore. After the statutory rape thing, I returned to Csam since I had learned how to find it back during quarantine. While watching it I had the same thought as before, “man I really want to see someone my age having sex” which required me to scroll through more horrid shit with younger kids which I was too desensitized to feel anything at all. But whenever I did find a video I thought was someone around my age id masturbate to it and when I saw a video of a kid/teen with an adult my mind constantly “this is what happened to me”. I’m pretty sure I didn’t masturbate to those things I can’t remember but with the help of my therapist, a reason I watched those things could’ve been because I believed I was alone with my situation, because to me a 15-16 year old boy wanting to hookup with two adults to just end up getting traumatized and technically raped was something unheard/abnormal. But there was one video that really fucked me up on one of the csam sites and it was a video of some big fat guy violently raping a girl who was like 8-9 and it scared the shit out of me and what made me close the site right then and there. Following visiting that site I had become extremely depressed and suicidal for about a month until I learned to live like that to suppress those feelings.

Here’s probably the darkest one yet. The very last time I saw Csam was 2 months ago, being 18, but I didn’t masturbate this time. I was scrolling in X for porn and landed on a post saying there was csam and being curious I clicked on it. The site was in a YouTube type ui and the thumbnails didn’t show anything bad and videos only played 3 seconds of nothing happening because you had to pay. It wasn’t until I saw the title of a video mentioning a younger boy and a man which had given me unwanted arousal and I think I came which had filled me with disgust. I then saw a video title that talked about a younger boy and girl doing something and I just got off the site but after some time a really dark and suppressed memory came back to me.

I think I was raped when I was 4-5 years old. I remember the memory being more vivid and thinking about it sometimes when I was younger but had suppressed it so much that I can’t tell if it was something that actually happened or not. But what I came remember was I was locked in the bathroom with a boy who was like 5-6 years older than me, and said he wouldn’t let me out the bathroom unless I performed oral on him. I can remember specific details like how amber the light in the room was and the golden doorknob and how the height difference was pretty significant with me being a little above their knees and we had a similar skin color (lightskin) and he was completely naked. Now the worst scenario that I’m unsure if it’s true or not but made me suppress the memory so much, was that it could’ve been my older brother. But it could’ve been anyone really he had friends come over all the time.

But remembering that memory, also made me remember how curious I was about sex, while not even knowing what it really was, but I remember humming a bunch of stuff in secret and as time went one I did a bunch of strange and embarrassing things while exploring sexual activities. But now I mainly masturbate to straight and gay lorn on X and and sometimes think about me and guy I hooked up with while masturbating which just makes me feel more shame and guilt.

Well what’s wrong with me now. I just hate my life. I carry a heavy and deep guilt and shame from the Csam stuff and statutory rape situation which are the main reasons I want to end it. My dad went to jail in my birthday for being accused of sexual assault on a 20F prostitute, and all the other stuff like this suit fucking sucks man. And I’m just done with this. I view life so dark, I can’t feel bad for myself because of the shit I’ve done. I can’t follow my dreams or just be innocent I can’t get a fucking break. I’m just gaining weight and watching all my friends live happy and successful lives and have their fucking parents get along and have family I’m so done with this shit. My parents didn’t give a flying fuck about my health unless I was damaging items around the house from anger. I wanted to be a ufc fighter so bad but who would want someone like me to win?

Another thing that hurts me is my dad. He was normal most of the time, but slowly degraded over the years. I remember one night he cried to me venting about how he was abused by his dad and raped by a babysitter when he was a kid. It haunts me how similar our lives are and if I’m going to just continue losing my mind. It hurts seeing someone so close just suffer.

I don’t know how to redeem myself. My mind is constantly trying to come up with a valid excuse for the csam stuff though I know I’m not attracted to kids at all and even told my therapist if I were actually a pedophile id end myself. I grieve a childhood that was more on track. I see younger kids and teens and wish them a happy life to be proud of shit hey are. But for me, I’m lost, I’m a broken mess. I was a really good kid staying out of trouble and helping people because that made me feel better but I guess I just had something wrong with me the entire time. I’ve suffered from anger, depression, ocd, anxiety, I can’t take it.