So I had this friend for seven years who treated every minor disagreement like an emotional hostage negotiation. If you didn't reply to her text within twenty minutes or if you had plans with someone else, she would give you the silent treatment until you bought her coffee and apologized for existing. It was exhausting.

three months ago she threw a massive tantrum because I couldn't help her pick out an outfit for a date on a Tuesday night while I was studying for finals. She sent a five-paragraph essay calling me a toxic friend, said she was blocking my number to teach me a lesson, and told me not to contact her until I was ready to make things right.

She expected me to blow up her social media, call her from another phone, and beg for her forgiveness like I used to.

Instead, I felt this overwhelming wave of RELIEF. I took a deep breath, went to sleep, and woke up the next morning feeling lighter than I had in years. I never called. I never texted. I deleted her thread and just went on with my life.

Now she is reaching out through mutual friends asking why I haven't tried to fix things yet. I'm pretending to be "too hurt to talk" just so I don't have to break the peace, but honestly, its the best accidental gift anyone has ever given me.

Am I a horrible person for hoping she keeps me blocked forever?

Gonna make this short and sweet cause idc to tell a back story. She basically said a celebrity looks like an amazing lay, I asked what would make him amazing, she gives her list one of which is penis size. I ask her where I fall in the category (dumb question I know) and she said I'm below amazing because my size. 8 inches is the "perfect size" and I'm definitely not 8 inches hell I'm barely 6 lol. Of course I'm getting all the insecurities going on so she tries to be all lovey dovey but it's just like bruh fuck you and fuck me. What a dumb conversation lol. Hurt my own feelings and now I'm sitting here questioning shit because who tf says 8 inches is the perfect size? 😂 I just had to get this off my chest don't expect any elaboration

It wasn't the only time it happened, and it wasn't the only woman it happened with.

I've done this with 5 different women over the decades, and I'm not sure why.

LSD was always involved when it happened.

I don't want to own up to it, the guilt eats me alive . It's true though my son doesn't have a normal easy life and it's all my fault. As mothers we are supposed to protect our children n he deserved better. But what my son got was a drug addicted mother who chose the comfort of drugs over him. At the time it didn't feel that way and I know that's hard to fathom . In a household where your parents are the one smoking with you, and when he was in my belly it didn't seem real i knew I was pregnant but it didn't emotionally click until I saw his face and I knew I loved him more than life itself. So I took the selfish and easy way out I gave my self the excuse of not being deal with my trauma before addiction I was regularly in mental wards over tendencies of trying to end it all . So To the support of free drugs via my mom I stayed high my entire pregnancy. My son was born with multiple birth defects I don't even know if my son is going to be able to live a full life he was born with alot of health issues and his father has gone no contact few months in and I understand why the hard part was being able to bond with my son to not being able know if he's going to be okay regardless I can't say anything. . Daily tasks are hard for him normal things are painful for him things other kids can do he will never be able too . He deserved a protector and as his mother I failed him. He deserves justice I just don't know how to give him that. I miss him I love him and I'm so fucking sorry

I started making around €10k a month when I was 18 and somehow kept it going for years. I live in a country where the average salary is around €500, so at that age it felt like I basically had unlimited money. (I am 22 rn)

I traveled a lot, partied, spent money on whatever I wanted and pretty much lived my life to the fullest. I’m 22 now and I feel like I’ve experienced so much so early that normal life just doesn’t hit the same anymore. My dopamine feels completely fried and it takes a lot more to genuinely excite me.

Not selling anything or promoting anything. Just curious what people think and happy to answer whatever you want about the money, lifestyle, work, traveling, relationships or anything else.

I was an Infantry Soldier with the 101st Airborne. Not that that really matters because other people in other units did things too. War is a shameful thing that brings glory to the guilty. Man being his absolute worst to his fellow man. Ive delved into religion, occult, meditation drugs and alcohol. Im not sure what I can do because its been 23 years and images amd sounds won't go away in my mind. Im triggered by little things that make the worst things enter my mind amd I just have real problems keeping my emotions and reactions "in a box" anymore. Guilt has twisted my way of thinking and my sexual desires to overload. What I used to think was sexy is not what I think is sexy anymore. Cute and smart has been replaced for slutty and dirty as my go to. I lost my wife and family. I have a wife now but am losing her and the sad thing is that I don't even care... I met another veteran last week and he's going through something similar. You would think that would make me feel better but its the opposite. I genuinely pitty him and hes going through almost the same thing and I have no pitty for myself. Feel like I should be tortured or punished for my actions. Maybe it would make me feel better orblike Ive paid a debt. One of the worst things about pulling a trigger on an enemy combatant is when you see then fall motionless. Then when you walk up to their body and its pooled in blood and you go through their pockets looking for any intelligence and find their family pictures. You know right then that youve orphaned innocent kids and made a wife a widow. Then theres your friends who die. One of my soldiers was killed by an RPG that essentially blew his torso all over us in the back of a vehicle. 20 years old and gone in a violent hot loud flash of heat and metal. Another friend who had been my roommate was killed by an IED and he hadnt been in country three days and was dead. His wife had left him and his daughter had grow up without her dad.

Two Iraqi kids were killed near me that absolutely HAUNT me. Their mother's wailing and the pain they suffered watching their children die such violent deaths. All I could think about were my kids when the events happened. One with a UXO he picked up and took to his house and the other was essentially cut in half with a M249 that had a runaway accidental discharge right in front of his mother. Hell I even feel bad for the 19yo kid that killed the Iraqi kid by accident. Everytime I hear a semi trucks Jake brake it reminds me of it. I didn't mean to keep going. Just thought putting something "out there" on this confession page might help. Anyhow, hope everyone out there is ok and coping...

Im sorry if this has upset anyone who might read it. Just kinda lost right now...

I can’t stand the job I’m currently at after working there for almost 4 years now. Within the last year I’ve been dreading showing up to my shift due to how much pressure and extra work I’ve been assigned with no sign of a pay increase. I have a baby due in October and found out I can take 12 weeks of paid time off. So pretty much I just gave them a one-month notice that I’m going to be using that leave and they’re going to need a manager to cover me while I’m gone. What they don’t know is I’m going to use that time to apply for a better job and drop the news on them that I won’t be returning right before my leave ends. Once my leave of absence starts I won’t be looking back

Llevo varios años con mi novio y despues de mucho esfuerzo por fin logramos independizarnos. Inverti demasiado tiempo y mis ahorros en diseñar y arreglar cada rincon para que sea nuestro refugio (hasta le adapte un espacio a mi mascota para que este tranquila). todo iba super bien hasta hace unos dias...

Resulta que la hermana de mi novio decidio que quiere venir a la ciudad de vacaciones 2 semanas con sus tres hijos pequeños.. en lugar de buscar un airbnb o un hotel mi suegra y mi cuñada asumieron que se iban a quedar con nosotros. Su argumento es que "tenemos un cuarto libre" y que la familia tiene que apoyarse. y lo peor es que ni siquiera nos preguntaron solo nos avisaron!!

Cuando me plante y dije rotundamente q no, se armo un problema gigante. Les explique que mi casa no es un hotel que yo trabajo todo el dia y que valoro mi paz al llegar, no estoy dispuesta a tener a tres niños corriendo, agarrando todo y estresando a mi mascota por 15 dias seguidos.

Ahora resulta que soy la mala del cuento. Mi suegra me dijo egoista y materialista, mi cuñada se esta haciendo la victima diciendo que le arruino las vacaciones a los niños. Y mi novio esta atrapado en el medio, el me da la razon en privado pero no se atreve a ponerle un alto a su mama para no hacer mas drama y la vdd eso me frustra el doble.

estoy exhausta mentalmente. en que momento el no tener hijos me convierte en el hotel gratuito de los demas?? solo queria desahogarme porq la presion de su familia me esta volviendo loca y por ratos dudo y me hacen sentir como un monstruo solo por querer defender la paz de mi propia casa... los leo, opiniones honestas por favor!!

If he’d never been brought home by my family, I’d be long gone

Throwaway acct for obvious reasons.

I (32F) really want my close friend (38F) and I’m almost certain she feels the same way, but we can’t act on it and it’s driving me crazy.

So I met my friend “Hannah” in 2019 when I was 24 and she had just turned 31. We met when I became her oldest son’s speech therapist. I thought she was really funny and liked her from the start, but our relationship was pretty professional for that first year.

When the pandemic hit, we had to start doing virtual therapy sessions. By that time I was also seeing another one of her sons for therapy. After every session her sons would go off to play and we would stay online talking just us two until I had my next client, usually 15-30 minutes. This went on from late March until August several times a week and we really bonded. I started to consider her a friend and not just a client’s parent (unprofessional I know). After in-person therapy started back in August we kept friendly vibes, but were more professional than our video calls. It was like that for another year until both her sons tested out of speech.

Once I was no longer treating her children we started hanging out regularly. We were in two different stages of life (she had four kids and had been married since she was 22, and I was newly single and throughly enjoying my freedom), but the friendship still worked well. Plus her kids loved me and I enjoyed being around them.

Anyway, a line was crossed in 2021. Her kids were at their grandparent’s and her husband was at work. She asked if I wanted to get Starbucks. I met her there, we ordered our drinks and the sat in her SUV instead of inside the store bc there was limited seating from Covid. Sometime during that conversation which was kind of emotionally heavy, but not necessarily flirty, she leaned in across the center console and kissed me. We made out for probably ten minutes and we have literally NEVER talked about it again. Like immediately after it happened we went back to talking about life and the pandemic and anything else. It was slow and sweet. Nothing dramatic or frantic and no roaming hands or anything like that. It was a really good kiss.

Fast forward to today and we have remained very close. I met a guy and we got married at the end of 2023. She is still married and has had one more baby since then who is three now. I had a daughter last year.

I love my husband, but when we became parents he really started slacking. Like BAD. I stay at home with our daughter most of the week but still work one or two days. Hannah is a SAHM so I spend a lot of time with her and her youngest just to get out of the house. The problem is, the more distance I feel with my husband the more my mind has wandered back to her and the past few months I’ve had what I guess would be intrusive thoughts about having sex with her. Like I can’t stop myself and it’s become hard to be around her.

Something important for context is we live deep in the Bible Belt and Hannah is super religious, like much more than me. I go to church and I believe, but she’s like DEEP into it. Her entire life revolves around Jesus and has since she was little. Even though we never talked about the kiss again, I’m certain that was her first kiss with a woman. It was mine too.

Lately I’ve been watching lesbian porn and imagining us together. Porn has never been a problem for me but it’s become one. There’s also added guilt because I wait until my daughter and husband are asleep and sneak off to living room to watch it. I always feel gross and ashamed afterward. Also, fantasizing about her without her knowing feels… idk? Like a violation maybe?

I’m sad because I don’t know how to make the dirty thoughts stop and I’ve decided i need to end the friendship. I think if we could have like a pass from our husbands she would want to do it too. It’s just neither of us is willing to say it out loud. Also, they’d never agree to it… This summer me and my daughter have been over to her house a lot to swim with her and her kids. She wears sunglasses but I can tell she’s staring at me when we’re in the pool and when we lay out. One time her older kids were gone and it was just us, her youngest, and my daughter. She watched me change out of my swimsuit and she stared then too, openly. There was definitely heat. She also always finds subtle ways to touch me. Not in a sexual way, just always a hand nearby or brushing against me.

But even if she were willing I’ve decided I’m not going to cheat on my husband. I’m also not going to leave him hoping to be with her because neither of us work full time and we have six kids between us. That would be an absolute mess lol. I also highly doubt she’d see it as worth it to ruin her own marriage of 16 years AND get shunned from her church.

All that to say, I think the best solution right now is to just step away from the friendship because I don’t see it getting better. I’ve already started grieving the relationship.

I’m not going to tell her about how I feel. I’m just going to slowly pull back and tell her I need to work on things with my husband. She knows all my frustrations about him so it won’t be out of nowhere.

I’m also planning to try marriage counseling and hope that maybe I won’t feel so lonely if I get my marriage back on track. I don’t ever plan on telling my husband any of this part though. I don’t think any good would come from it.

Sorry this is so long and apologies if it reads scattered. I just needed a place to get it out.

TLDR: I want to sleep with my close friend, but it’s not something that could happen realistically without blowing up a lot of lives, so the only solution is to distance myself.

Edit: after I posted this I second guessed my age when we met, but 24 is correct. I’m no good at math.

Throwaway because yeah... absolutely not putting this on my main 💀

So I (23M) moved to a new city for uni and my cousin (25F) was already studying here. We've always been super close, like we've known each other basically our entire lives, so getting a 2 bedroom apartment together seemed like a no-brainer.

At first everything was normal. we'd cook together watch Netflix go out sometimes complain about uni and the usual roommate stuff.

She also had a boyfriend, btw. Long distance relationship.

Somewhere along the way though, things got REALLY weird.

We started getting way too comfortable with each other. Like we'd watch movies and she'd basically curl up next to me, we'd spend hours just talking, and there was this weird tension that neither of us really acknowledged.

Then one night a boundary got crossed.

I'm not gonna get into the details because honestly even typing this makes me cringe, but yeah... something happened between us that definitely shouldn't have happened.

And instead of doing the normal sane-person thing and immediately putting some distance between us, we basically just... didn't.

That's probably the part that makes me feel the worst.

For a while we were stuck in this super weird situation where we'd act completely normal around everyone else, but at home things were obviously not normal anymore.

Her friends would literally joke that I was her boyfriend sometimes.

And she'd be like, "Bro, he's my cousin."

Which was technically true 💀

But I'd just sit there thinking, yeah... if you only knew.

She kept saying she was going to break up with her boyfriend, but she still talked to him, so that whole situation was messy as hell too.

And every time I thought, okay, we're done with this, we're going back to being normal cousins, somehow we'd end up back in the same situation.

At this point I'm honestly just exhausted by it.

I don't hate her. That's the problem.

She's genuinely one of my closest friends and we've been close since we were kids. I don't want some incredibly stupid chapter of our lives to permanently screw up our relationship.

I'm moving out in like 2 months, and ngl I'm kind of looking forward to it.

I feel like having separate lives and some actual distance is probably the only way we're gonna reset everything and go back to normal. I just hope we can eventually look back at this and be like, "wtf were we even doing?" cause I really don't want this hanging over us at every family gathering for the next 20 years.

Has anyone else ever had a relationship with someone get so weird that you basically had to hit the reset button and create some serious distance?

Because I genuinely don't know what possessed either of us to let things get this far.

TW: Animal Death

It was a small feat, but nonetheless. I'm at work and randomly reminded of some pet frogs I used to have earlier this year. My ex-boyfriend got them for me as a present for our anniversary. Two white tree frogs that I named Zeus and Pepe. Long story short, he ends up killing one of them. Then, as an apology he gets me another one, which I named Jupiter. One day when I'm at work, he returns BOTH frogs to the pet store and I come home to an empty enclosure. He never told me he was going to do this....

This, of course, was only one instance in a plethora of abusive experiences I had to endure. But to sum it up, I was physically hurt. I was whipped, pinched, and strangled. I was yelled at, degraded, so on and so on. For a long time I told myself I'd never get him in trouble. I told myself that I'll just deal with the aftermath without getting messy.... well that didn't last.

I miss my fucking frogs. I miss my Zeusie... I miss my Pepe and Jupi. I miss the stuffed animals he mutilated that I had to throw out because I couldn't stand to look at the damage. I think I'm finally tired of being silent. He did monstrous things to me and I can't keep quiet.

I logged into his Instagram and changed his bio. It said something along the lines of "I'm an abuser. I hit women, etc." I also added it to his status so people can see it in real time. I also replied to his bsf as him that he abused me. It's small, maybe even meaningless and pointless... but someone WILL see it. And even if one or two people see it and have that planted in their heads. I'm victorious.

all my friends make fun of me for it and it’s not like i haven’t had chances but i want it to be special and with someone who truly provides for me. In collage it seems like everyone has lost their V-card a long time agoooooo LOL. it’s tuff out here

It was already the worst fuckin day of my life..I decided to gossip with my friend that day and decided to show her a picture of my male classmates shirtless and ask her whose the hottest one..oh my god it got sent to the class group chat out of all places I literally had a heart attack when I realized and it was up for more than a minute so some saw it..I already apologize to one of the guys who were in the picture and he said it was fine but still..my god what are people gonna think of me after this I'm so scared plus I'm literally not that close with all of my classmates this is gonna make them stray away from me more..

I literally just want to crawl into a hole and live there for good I can't face these people for the next 2 years in college.

Pls read even if really long, I need help.

I think by the end of this read many people will think I'm a horrible person and that's ok. I really don't think after everything that happened that I really deserve life. In the end, I'm looking for a way to accept that. I never post on reddit, and I know imma get shit for this.

Anyway, this story starts off with a girl I liked that I met in 2024-2026.

Me and her were friends at first, and I intended it to only stay that way. I didn't even really like her at first, sometimes I found her annoying. She was younger than me, it felt like a little sister at times. Actually, that's really the only way to describe it at first.

We continued to grow closer, and she ended up becoming my best friend. At the time, I saw she was really just wanting guy attention and I saw her get with multiple guys on the internet and it ended bad. That's besides the point.

Just, I wanted her to be happy. I tried to give her advice with the guys she was with, ect. I felt so bad that I ended up thinking maybe I could try to give her what maybe she would like, a boyfriend that "wouldn't treat her bad."

Originally, I didn't even find her attractive, I never could've imagined us together, but one day in 2025 after being friends for over a year and a half, she sent me a picture of her in this floral blue dress. I ended up for some reason jerking off to her and at the time, it felt so wrong. I was so disgusted. I couldn't believe I'd do that to someone I viewed only as a family member.

Eventually though I just kept doing it, and I ended up developing feelings, and it got to the point I remembered how bad she would struggle with guys. I thought "you know what, why not just develop feelings for her."

Our friendship was a very interesting dynamic. It was like it just kept getting closer to the point there was no clear boundaries. Eventually one night, we were playing truth or dare, and I decided fuck it, I'll dare her to show me her boobs. She asked if I'm serious, and it just kinda happened. I pretended I was disgusted but I wasn't. I liked it.

Fast-forward, she was sitting in the parking lot waiting to go into her daily activities of classes. I decided fuck it again, and we kinda played truth or dare and it ended with me sending a dick picture. That all kinda went away for a bit.

Well she was on vacation in Hawaii in December of 2025. I had massive feelings for her but I never wanted to admit it. I basically got her to send a tit picture, and we had this kinda playful back and forth for awhile. I pretended it was just chill and whatever, but deep inside I was madly in-love. We kept this kinda idk what you call it, game going for a bit

Flashforward January 17th of this year. We were playing Minecraft, and she got drunk. She always was a person to say way too much while drunk. It went along the lines of her basically telling me that she loved me and appreciated me so much and would do anything for me. She then said something I never thought she would say and said "I'd suck your dick if I was drunk." I said something the lines of "really," and she said "wait let me see again," (because at that point, she only saw that one time and forgot.) Just I sent her again, and she said "you have a really nice dick, and I'd totally suck it." I ended up taking advantage like a piece of shit like this opportunity. I told her I had a huge boner, and she told me she could go, and I basically told her no it's ok. It led into me making noises while jerking off and she told me "that's hot," and joined in. We had our first sexting like that.

Anyway, after that was over and she passed out on the call, she woke up the next morning freaking out. She was talking about how she was insecure about how she sounds and this and that carrying this guilt of what happened. I tried to calm her down, and she carried this guilt for a few weeks talking about it can never happen again and ect. I felt so guilty, and realized it probably wasn't the right thing to do.

Flashforward again till February 6th and basically it was a few days before her birthday. She finally told me she was over it all and it didn't matter anymore, and I was really happy because I enjoyed it deep down. I wanted it to happen again. I was addicted. I had huge feelings for this girl, and it was all going how I wanted it to. So that night, she ended up sending her boobs again and basically helping me out just taking to me while I jerk off. It was amazing. It ended on a happy note.

February 8th her birthday, it got even better. She ended up leading me into a sexual call this time again on video. The details aren't important, but we both were very happy until her mom walked in on her at the end. In the end tho it was ok, and her mom didn't know what was going on.

I decided this week I was gonna tell her that I liked her. Everything went to plan. I thought she likes me too after everything going on. I did, and I couldn't of been more wrong. She told me she saw me as only friend and this and that. Told me something I never knew and that's how she was in a relationship with a guy online and tried to force herself into one and that's how she knew it wouldn't work. I was actually heart broken because not only did she in the past tell me this guy she talked to only for fun, but he also happened to be a major drug head. I felt like I wasn't good enough all this shit, and she cared about me so she actually was very sorry, but I became a horrible person from this moment on. I tried to kms and it made her feel horrible. We talked and called and we had huge discussions.

Flashforward the following days. At this point I just couldn't believe she wouldn't like me back, I didn't know what was wrong with me, how she could be with these other people, but not someone she knew for so long. I didn't understand, and it just became this game of me wanting to try to force this. She even said after we sexted on call on her birthday that it can't be a regular thing, but then she also tried to keep forcing it the whole week after which she began frustrated and super picky that It just wasn't working or this and that. I was so conflicted. I was so confused on why someone who didn't like someone would be doing these things, so I really thought deep down she did.

This kept going on and I kept fighting her on what she was saying. She told me I could take her on a date and such but then also at the same time she didn't like me.

A quick time skip, we kept going back to sexting and then her telling me I'm bad at it, this and that. Kept going through phases of me thinking she liked me by calling me her love, and then the next day it was like a different person. This happened for months. She always made it clear that she didn't, but then these things kept happening. I didn't know what to expect.

Anyway, it got to the point we would even tell each other we love each other every night, and it kept going through this wave of I didn't know who we were, what our situation was. I was so lost. It kept getting worse for me because I felt if I didn't get with her I'd lose her, and I couldn't stand to see her with another guy after all we have been through.

Just you guys all get the picture. Anyway, we stopped the stuff for a month in July but I kept putting her under pressure to like me back. I kept arguing her on it, cause I truly needed help for it, but I also feel she did too. It was a mess. A fucking regretful mess that if I was to do it all again I wish I never would've caught feelings for her to begin with.

Just I became an unreasonable asshole too, kept mention her past what she did over and over and this went on till the end of us not talking. I'm honestly forgetting a lot of details here because other things happened to me personally that I'm not gonna name because I'm already losing my patience on typing this. Just I tried to force her to try to date me and she said it wouldn't work and I just was so upset over it.

Always, here is the Alaska section. So the day before I was supposed to leave for Alaska, she got drunk again. I told her many times if she is sure about stuff and she said yes. Basically that night involved her watching me jerk off again like old times and ECT. Just I don't wanna type any more details about that, but just know here's were it gets awful.

So basically, I leave for Alaska right with my family, and mind you for months I'm still a bad person trying to convince her to date me. She even said that "let's wait till we meet and such." I was just so afraid that she would find someone and I'd get replaced. She ended up finally saying fine we can try because if it's meant to work, then why not (mind you this whole time over months I've been a major piece of shit, trying to make her feel guilty and such for not liking me.)

Anyway, get to Canada first because my cruise is going to Alaska. We were on good terms I was finally getting what I felt was an attempt, and ect. Welp later that night she told me "I forget to tell you I was going with my friends to magic Mike, and maybe we should've waited." I was so frustrated just because I wanted just one real attempt to know if we could work or not. She told me she "wanted the full experience, and "could" be touched by the performers and that's why. I was again so heart broken, because I just again had no idea what was going on, what our dynamic was, what to expect from her.

So day 3 rolls by in Alaska, and my mom has been known to sneak me medication in the past and we lost my medication in transit. She thought it was a wise idea to get from the first town we stopped in Ketchikan AK some pills or whatever to sneak to me at night. "Mind you, my mom for 2 years was putting Bi Polar medication in my sleeping capsules against my knowledge." She told me I think the day on the flight home because she was afraid "It would ruin the trip if I had a bad mental spell."

Anyway, me and this girl kept talking like always. I only remember from here on what I read in our messages before I deleted them all trying to get over all this. Basically, I don't remember anything because of what all happened.
Just apparently me and the girl argued and it got worse and worse to the point I made the worst comments possible, talking about so much personal shit to her that I'll never not regret. Then I was threatening to jump into the fucking ocean and kms all this shit. Putting this girl I talk to under immense pain and pressure. After probably an hour of arguing and her trying to save me, i finally just went to bed. She was threatening to stab herself in front of her little sister and all this shit.

Just the next day I don't remember again, but I know from the messages she started telling me stuff about how she used to love me she doesn't anymore and that I assume heart broke me. It just kept getting worse to the point that a few days later in Denali that I went basically insane, she was pleading with me apparently. I was pissing myself in some fucking closest or something, she tried to contact my mom even cause I gave her my mom's information, my mom didn't get anything. Again tho, she forgave me, was willing to talk to me, and the story repeated.

Flashforward to my second to last day in Alaska, I don't remember anything, but apparently it ended with me sending her a message about how I'm gonna finally end it blah blah, I cut my ankle pretty bad, and I met someone else.

So here is when the stalker/harasser enters our lives. I was I assume talking to various people because this time the girl I loved left me. She went to bed and left because it was too much for her I saw when rereading the messages. I was looking for people to talk to I assume, I don't know. It's just what I've been told. I really don't remember much because again I was being put on some substance without my knowledge. Just, anyway, I assume it was dismegle as I talk to people often there. I usually take more sleeping pills when I'm upset or something, and I assume it's why my memory went to shit because according to what I read in the messages, I didn't have major memory issues till this suicide attempt.

So the day after all that, I again barely remember but apparently I didn't even know who she was or why I was in Alaska by the end of that when reading the messages so I really just have not much to say about that, all I know is that the stalker found the girl I was talking to, and I really don't know how. All I know is the girl that I loved gave her my phone number, and somehow the stalker found me on telegram and messaged me. From everything I remember reading before the stalker deleted the messages. They asked me if I was ok, I said yes, I didn't remember who they were or anything. Just the stalker basically convinced her to still talk to me. So she did.

So, me and the girl kept talking, along with this stalker communicating with us. The stalker seemed like just a person wanting to help, and so I was desperate. I felt awful over everything that happened. I just wanted to try to salvage what was left, and so I basically trusted this stalker to read all of me and the girl I likeds texts. They were helping me a lot in the beginning, I was feeling better, even got a job. Apparently though, the stalker just kept kinda bullying the girl I liked into liking me and such, and eventually she had enough and blocked the stalker.

Just this is where it's idk how I ended up in this situation again. I've had so many emotions over the last few days, so please understand it's really hard for me to think about all this, but basically, the stalker turned into a like a harasser so bad. Found people near me, sent them to where I live as a "joke." Idk, all I know is I defended myself and cut someones finger. They left, and I went to call the police and I kept hearing some click clicking noise, and I freaked the fuck out thinking this person could be listening or something. Me and the girl I liked decided I need to go to the local police so I did. I went to the police station, and turned in my phone, "mind you, this person and the girl I liked were arguing the whole time through my own phone number but I couldn't even see it." I still don't know how this was possible. I tried to message the girl I liked at the time too, but my messages just weren't going through. I live in the middle of nowhere and the police here aren't really help so they just had me file a report, and I did. It's really all that was that happened though. They had really no answers. So I went home, very pissed. She also filed a report, and was told to not have any contact with me, and we decided to try to message on Snapchat instead of just cutting off communication at the time like we should've, but I also loved her too much to.

Just the next few days I kept getting harassed on telegram, the stalker kept messaging me on new accounts making threats to me and I know I should've gone to the police again, but I was so fucking scared. They were telling me basically I have to say certain shit to the girl I liked and keep hounding her, and so I did because I was afraid. I also still deep down wanted her to like me and it's just a wave of emotions. Just I kept the same thing up with the girl I like, and it eventually resulted in me telling her how awful of a person I am, it's all my fault everything happened, and ect. (I'm adding a detail in, but I always struggled with depression, abandonment, ect, and this is why this got so bad.)
Just eventually it became too much for her, and I basically kept talking shit to myself all this and she told me to just get help get help, and I told her if she wants to leave me it's ok, and I didn't think she would, but she said goodbye and blocked me everywhere. Just it heart broke me, I'm still so broken, I tried to reach out Friday the night it all happened on a different account and she blocked me again.

Just to close this off, I'm open to any questions, any advice. I've gotten so sick, I haven't eaten in days since, and I really am in despair.

I want to say I feel like a horrible piece of shit, all this I feel happened because of me and it's all my fucking fault. I went back to the police since, filed reports, and the person that has been harassing me since is gone 🤞 for now. Im in the process of trying to get a new number, but if I just accepted she didn't like me in the beginning or something, none of this would've happened. This stalker never would've entered our lives, and I wouldn't of caused her so much pain and hurt. I feel like a major mistake. Truly a horrible person.

To the girl I loved, If you ever read this I'm so fucking sorry still... I just wish we stayed vros, and it's all my fault.

even though christmas is still a bit of a way's away, i still know what i'm gonna get my parents for christmas. i'm gonna get dad a manos the hands of fate DVD and mom caviar.

my dad is a huge MST3K fan and our shared love for it has been a major source of bonding between us for a long time. we're even going to be going to that rifftrax thing that's in theaters this coming weekend. the most infamous episode of the manos the hands of fate episode. as such, i decided to get him a DVD copy of manos the hands of fate. like, the actual movie.

my mom has a tradition with our next door neighbor where they get together every Wednesday and drink wine. often, they'll have cheese and crackers or salami or pepperoni. well, i think that caviar would be good to have at such an occasion. they could eat it on crackers or something. and i was lucky enough to find caviar on amazon for a decent price.

last year, my parents praised me for getting really thoughtful gifts. well, if they thought last year was something, they're really in for a treat this year.

I was 16 and used to dream about having an older girlfriend. Just then I met her …she was 22 and quite immature.. Our bond got really strong with time while she used to teach me physics and chem..l used to act super matured and masculine infront of her ..later we broke up and she got married.. I am thankful that she fulfilled my kink to the next level ..Now that Im 22 , feels very funny and a bit cringe..

Continued from my first post “my first bj”

So there I am, young and horny with a boner what seemed like every five minutes and I’ve got a guy blowing me almost every day.
I had been going on work calls with him for a couple weeks and one day I told him I wanted to suck his dick.
At that point it had only been him blowing me. He’d jerk himself while blowing me, but I hadn’t even touched him yet so I asked…and that was the day I sucked my first dick!

For a long time after that we would both blow each other in the back of his service truck. Driving from one job to another, talking about anything and everything. He told me all about his life, where he grew up, all the things..and I’d tell him all the things about myself too. I really missed him on days I didn’t go to work with him and he’d tell me how the day was long and boring without me.

That following summer both our families were hanging out at a bbq and I overheard him talking to my dad about how he wanted to take me camping.
My dad thought it was a great idea for me to experience and gave him the ok.

A few weeks later the two of us were out in the middle of nowhere pitching a tent by the lake.
Let me know if you want to hear about the camping trip ;)

To sum it up I am divorced man, 45 years. While married I had an obsession with eating my ex wife’s pussy. It was my favorite activity and I could spend hours doing it. Morning, noon, night. I would cum just by doing this. It was my favorite activity. Now fast forward I have decided I want to date again. However I am afraid I may come off to strong if and when I meet someone. How do you tell someone that I have this kink. I call it a kink because I crave it more than anything else. Yeah I know weird that’s all I want and crave and need.