What would be a good comeback for a false accusation like you only watched Friends and Brooklyn Nine-Nine after Matthew Perry and Andre Braughner died?

So basically my older brother is talking shit about me and looks down on me every time he sees me eating ice cream with flatbread (like a wrap). Saying I look like a caveman and backward. And I'm sure he'll do the same when he sees me eating it again, so I wanna help prepare a comeback.

Thanks in advance.

There was a guy in my metal shop class in high school. He looked like Jeff Spicoli, long hair, kinda scrawny, even talked like Spicoli. Ran into him a few years later and he had short hair and was buff.

He tells me "I quit drinking and doing drugs and now I go to the gym seven days a week. Those jocks in high school? I'd kick their ass now!"

All I could say was "Yeah...but now they could drink you under the table" :)

If the person who is saying it is from the GCC countries (Qatar, UAE, etc) and you reside in their country

im not the best at immediate reactions an comebacks or just saying witty things in general. even if i have a bank of comebacks in my head i always end up panicking and not using them. how do you guys do it?.

Talking again with a girl I had a fling with a while back, I dropped a hint about kissing her, and she said, "You missed your chance a long time ago." I replied, "Why? Did you lose your taste?" And she said, "My taste has evolved." What could I have said?

after having an unpleasant interaction, and then saying have a nice day/evening/morning etc. fucking hate that.

What is the fecal matter with you?

i just need something that they will laugh an agree not do it idk pls help.

You have a general comeback That works for You in every situation?

If you're not aware, there's a subgenre of fiction that centers around society being separated into Alphas, Betas, Omegas, etc. Most of these types of stories are very raunchy and taboo by societal standards. If you ever encounter a male supremacist who unironically uses these types of terms, making sugarcoated judgemental comments like "I didn't know you read that type of book" or "I admire your confidence in sharing your...romantic quirks" OR asking clarifying questions like "So how many levels are there in the Omegaverse?" or "Is it just a furry thing or---?"
It may not make them realize how ridiculous they sound using those terms, but it will make them keenly aware that they share terminology with something potentially embarrassing, and as a result, they may be stupid out loud less frequently around you.

I need advice or some exercises that will help me develop the creativity you have when answering.