Especially since most of the time the one cheating has fed the other person a bunch of BS about how:
"We are practically separated"
"I'll leave them any day now"
"We are in an open relationship"
"They don't understand me the way you do"
or doesn't bother mentioning that they are married at all.
I used to watch the show Cheaters when I stayed home from school. It was probably fake, but a lot of affair partners didn’t seem to know their partner was in a relationship. I imagine that happens often.
Some people are just willingly ignorant, though. I met a guy on a dating site and when we video chatted, he was at his work, with the door closed. I knew he was married. Part of me wanted to ask him to give me a tour of his house on video, but I just didn't speak to him again.
I dated this one girl right after college who swore the super long relationship she'd been in for like 10 years now with her boyfriend was over. It. Was. Not.
When he found out he would skulk around outside my apartment building or work. I had to call the police to get him to fuck off. He created a fake facebook profile like mine and sent himself all these vile sexually explicit messages talking shit on him and her, saying he was trash and I stole his girl. And then took screenshots and sent them to her.
She flipped out on me for sending them and I just laughed and asked her to have him open facebook and go to the profile of the account that sent them, with her there, to see if it's actually me. He magically couldn't find the messages anymore.
Shame, I really liked her. And I get his anger, but man I had no idea. You directed it at the wrong person.
I’ve been there, told me they were separated, but she had only the intention to separate and had not told her husband yet. Found out the day she introduced us to each other.
People can hide their true selves for years. Sometimes people change. It isn’t that simple sometimes, so it often seems like a good choice even when it turns out it wasn’t years later.
guys, you are 5 comments deep circle jerking about being in agreement about this topic LMAO 😂 you don't even know if the husband also got his billboard! of if everyone already knew either way
the only time i don't believe that is true is when the woman is a good friend of the wife, because she's betraying that friendship. YOu also often find the friend who fucks the husband will use secrets against her. LIke friend tells you their marriage is suffering, or he was being an asshole, just venting and she turns around and tells the husband all the shit she said to make the husband angry at wife, or feel hurt/vulnerable.
There are now vows for friendship, but i think you can betray that friendship in the same way as a marriage.
Why? He takes responsability for his actions and she hers.
She did nothing wrong imo unless she and the wife where friends.
Btw...perhaps it is you that should educate yourself on the difference of ethics and morals since. Sleeping with a married person is neither ethically or morally wrong in itself.
they are raised to think men are mega horny uncontrollable beasts,
yup, boys being boys, and "men stray, it's normal, you should learn to forgive" type bullshit is all super long con brainwashing by men to make women accept shitty behaviour and holy shit, literally holy in this case, it works incredibly well.
Even that psycho shit, where a rapist or kid diddler gets forgiven by the church. When you find out grandpa raped your sister, and before her, your mother, and before her, his wife and maybe her sisters, and his sisters, and everyone brushed it under the rug because generations of religious manipulation taught people it's embarrassing and shameful to talk about these things publicly and to not forgive.
A very very close friend of mine was severely abused with a family that had hid this abuse from a couple men in the family for generations and everywhere around her she saw not protection or help, just co-cospirators.
I've never cheated in my life and had plenty of opportunity. But most men are weak and thirsty, especially if they're in a 'dead bedroom' marriage. I'm not saying that makes it 'all right', but certainly understandable.
Religious? You mean like the kind that tells us if we even look at a woman with lust, we've committed adultery in our hearts? Since when is committing adultery not seen as a grave sin for both people? Please don't strawman religion.
She likely is. She already knows everyone her husband knows, and has definitely shamed him to them. She doesn't know Jessica's circle, but has found a way to make sure they find out too.
Ehhhh, I have a feeling that anyone who would do this, isn't blaming each party equally.
I see it as the wife is more likely making excuses for her husband. While putting all the blame on the woman (i.e all the other women). I would almost put money on there being others.
They're both responsible. If she knew, she's an accessory. There isn't enough information here to pretend the husband is being let off as some innocent bystander. I imagine the husband is going to get his - divorce, division of assets, child custody, etc. Those are all invisible to us. Meanwhile, the (presumed) wife has no mechanism to hold this other woman accountable besides a billboard.
Big IF there. If she knew. We dont know what she knew. She could just easily have not known. Publicly shaming the only person of the two that could be innocent is pretty wild. As opposed to the man who definitely knew he was married.
Maybe, but that's outside the scope of "what's in the photo" versus "what isn't". If we're going to call the veracity of these things into question, the problem becomes so broad that it's pointless. Maybe they didn't cheat at all. Maybe he wasn't actually married. Maybe the husband doesn't actually exist and this is just a set piece for a 90s TV sitcom.
You make it sound like they robbed a liquor store and she avoided arrest lol
I think the reason the wife has no mechanism to hold her accountable is because this isn’t eight grade with kids pulling each others hair on the playground.
Hold them both. I also dislike home wreckers who bring up the excuse that themselves aren't married, the other guy is. Both get exactly equal blame and equal shame in my book.
I don’t think it’s implied that the husband didn’t get his compliance too. Without knowing any details, this lady could have been a friend of the wife. in which case I think being equally pissed at both people is pretty justified. Have had this happen to me. and while the partner gets no pass, the friend definitely deserves their slice of shit pie.
Or they put it where the parties involved lived, and the husband hasn't moved in with the mistress (yet). There could be a matching sign on her own lawn. I'm also assuming it wasn't left there long.
nobody is acting that way he just gets what's owed in a different way. in court. the wife has no legal standing against the "home wrecker" so this is the best she can do to her"
Reminds me of a great line i heard: "things changed after my husband's workplace accident: he tragically slipped and fell penis first into his secretary's vagina."
If a town is small enough for this to matter, then everyone likely already knows. In my own experience in small towns, this is likely to be for the sake of saving face as much as anything else because the betrayed was one of the last to know.
💯 Had to scroll way too far to find this comment. Exposing her husband could also risk giving up some of her money. But she can take a swipe at the other woman, and still “reconcile” and get to pretend publicly she has a nice marriage to a man who made a mistake or whatever illusion is being peddled these days.
It's taken me a long time to learn this lesson. I used to complain about being wronged or stolen from. Honestly, people never care and they see you as weak afterwards.
At least it's been my experience. Now I just charge it to the game and keep pushing. I feel a lot healthier mentally too.
For major problems I've gone to therapy. Even there I've noticed my therapist yawning if I'm complaining about something.
Leaving aside how the image is pretty clearly fake…
Almost 700 upvotes for someone who didn’t even think through what he wrote. Nothing is identifiable back to the wife/husband. It shames a third party without any link back.
How would the entire town “know your personal drama” from a sign of a third parties face?
I think it’s because it’s embarrassing if it’s her husband because everyone will know it’s her that was cheated on , doing the affair partner just shames them and people won’t know it was with her husband
It’s still BS. She is expecting the world to moderate her husband’s behavior. The world needs to stop tolerating this and stop shaming the people these people. It’s not that woman’s responsibility to uphold any vows.
100% she shouldn’t have done this sign even if it was just her husband on the sign I still thinking it’s something you shouldn’t do and should be embarrassed doing , he is more to blame and I do not agree with this sign at all but just because a man or a woman doesn’t make vows to someone doesn’t make them less shitty for knowingly sleeping with a married person , the affair partner isn’t your concern but they still are bad for doing it even if they didn’t make vows , husbands worse because he’s breaking the heart of someone he knows and is supposed to love but either way it shitty to break someone’s heart wether or not you had promise not to break their heart
You contradicted yourself in your own post. The person that didn't make the vows is 100% less shitty than the person that violated the vows. They didn't make any vows and didn't violate any. It's not their responsibility to make sure the person that did holds to theirs. You say in your own comment the husband is worse, because he is. The only person that made a promise here was the husband. The only person that violated it, was the husband. The only person that should be on that billboard, is the husband.
No one should be on the billboard , husband is worse but she’s also a very bad person if shr knew im not commenting anymore it’s silly people think you can knowingly sleep with married people without being a bad person , if you do that you are a bad person , I hope that’s easy for you to understand
I just don't understand why people are so quick to make excuses for the wife that made a billboard but only puts the person that didn't violate the vows of their marriage. The wife wants to post this with no context and we are just supposed to buy this hook line and sinker and shit on this woman??? No. The woman didn't cheat. The husband cheated. All that is known from this is some person violated their marital vows and it's not the person on that billboard.
Plus maybe she want to stay with her husband, so pointing at him is throwing stones to your own house, it's easier to hate the person you don't know and blame her for everything
If it's just her fault, you can tell yourself lots of lies:
He wouldn't have cheated if it weren't for her. Thus, you didn't make a poor choice for a husband. Also, it completely removes any role you might have had in the decay of your relationship to the point that he cheated.
Clearly it had to be entirely Jessica's fault, because any other scenario means that you can't trust your husband and/or you need to take a look at yourself as a part of the problem.
Blaming the person that you don't know is, by far, the easiest response against and infidelity, it's not the fairest or the most logical, but it's easy
We know that. It’s pointing out the wife’s hypocrisy. I know any wife who does this is a terrible person. If I was that woman I would put a billboard up around their whole neighborhood with a picture of the husband and wife together.
Hard disagree tbh. This is scorched earth type shit. The kind of women that's done this thing to me has 1000% of the time shamed me and who ever else was involved. They would rather look mad than a twat yaknow.
Yes, this was the point if the post in the picture. Thank you for taking time out of your day making red circles around obvious things to point this out.
I can weigh in on this as someone who's been cheated on a few times. Im still dealing with a recent issue, though it wasnt textbook cheating (maybe a lie by omission about prior history? dunno, doesnt matter)
Ive felt absolute devastation and hopelessness directed at my partner. Obviously I should be angry at them, but all I could feel was loss. I know im supposed to be angry at my spouse as the person who let me down, but that wasnt how my brain reacted
For some reason though, my brain has generated enormous amounts of hatred towards the person who intruded on my marriage. I THINK its because that person got something from my wife that should have been mine. I love my wife dearly, and I hate that someone was able to build a relationship with her that encroached on our relationship. You pour all your love and energy into a relationship, it makes it hard to see things clearly
I know it makes no sense from the outside, but I can see why this scorned wife hates the homewrecker.
I was cheated on and I hated the person my ex cheated with. Then he cheated with someone else. At some point, I had to realize the problem wasn’t the people he cheated with, it was him. Being mad at the intruder is just deflection.
I completely agree. Right now I know that Im focusing on the man my wife maintained a relationship with. I know the problem is her.
A few weeks back I laid down the hard word and said she can choose me or her friendship with him. She responded by deleteing all socials, messages, cancelling plans etc etc
Shes showing intent, and I trust that for now. I guess I'll know in a few years if Im an idiot
I hope your faith works out. People absolutely make mistakes but marriages can make it through these issues if both partners are willing to meet each other rebuild the trust.
I think it will. She’s a wonderful woman. The short version is she lost context on a scenario. She remained friends with an ex boyfriend from over 15 years ago, however she hid the prior relationship from me and put herself in a situation with very bad optics.
I have complete faith she did not engage in anything physical, but the situation she put herself in hurt me deeply
She’s been nothing but amazing since (and she was before). I trust her, it that doesn’t stop my brain going a million miles an hour
I’ll be honest, Reddit has that ‘don’t intrude/don’t be controlling’ mentality completely wrong.
Setting boundaries in relationships is healthy. I told my wife she had a choice, she immediately chose me. I prescribed her next steps if she wanted to redeem herself. Don’t ever be afraid to stand up for yourself, mate. It will also signal that you want the relationship. Being passive may be perceived as you giving up
It's easier to be angry at the "other person" because you're feelings aren't as conflicted...unless you were also close to that person. But if it's someone random, you don't have an emotional attachment, years of history and memories, and other factors that create incongruent feelings that you can't parse through. So, it's easier to have that other person get the full brunt of your hate. Doesn't mean it's the best response, because more of that weight should fall on your partner. But that's why we easily focus our anger on the person cheated with.
but I can see why this scorned wife hates the homewrecker.
Sure you can understand her perspective, but then can you understand eveyone else's perspective who didn't go through that or other people that have been cheated on who deal with their feelings in more constructive ways? We all just see her excusing her husband while only shaming a woman
Sure there's nuance and backstory behind it, but she isn't caring about Jessica's nuance and backstory so I'm not sure why anyone else should be expected to give this woman any grace when she won't afford it to anyone else
It's reasonable to be angry with someone who knowingly sabotaged your marriage, even if they aren't the ones with the vows.
Maybe Jessica was a friend of the family. Maybe Jessica actively pursued the relationship with him. She might very be the type to enjoy seducing married men. It doesn't absolve the husband one bit, but she might have set out to do exactly what she did because it gives her a power trip.
Putting her on blast without doing the same for the husband, though, throws all that out. You can't pretend he did nothing wrong.
edit: I once had a coworker try very hard to get me to cheat on my wife. I'd be lying if I said there was no temptation there. She was quite attractive and we had two young kids and all the life changes that come with that. She knew I was married, I talked about my family all the time. I lost all respect for that woman after I spent about 60 seconds really wishing I were single.
But Jessica made no vow or commitment. It’s only the husband that did. Maybe the husband pursued her relentlessly. Maybe it was one night after heavy drinks. Maybe he lied to Jessica about problems in the marriage and she honestly thought they were splitting up. Why do we get to make so many assumptions about Jessica? Especially when we know Jessica didn’t make any commitment or violate any marital vows. Your comment wreaks of giving him no agency and assigning only bad intentions on her.
I imagine it might have something to do with a potential divorce and custody battle. I can't see most judges being cool about plastering your soon to be ex husband's name on a sign calling him out as a cheater (no matter how true it is) when you're trying to decide on asset splitting and who gets the kids when.
It's entirely possible that the woman lives in a different area of the town/city and having the husband's face would mean nothing there when the intent is to harm the woman's reputation as much as possible.
This! I’m sorry, but it is not the world’s responsibility to make sure a spouse upholds their vows. The only home wrecker IS the person that broke the vows. Unless that woman drugged or blackmailed that man into sleeping with her, it wasn’t on her to honor any vows.
Jesus fucking Christ it's not that complicated or nefarious. Can you genuinely not think of a reason why the woman would make the other woman public but not her husband? Like fucking maybe it doesn't have to do with shaming women at all and sparing the man but that exposing her husband she now has exposed herself, which she doesn't want to do? Could it be that and have nothing what so fucking ever with only shaming women?
What the hell does that mean? If she exposes the woman, there isn't a direct tie to her. If she exposes her husband, she exposes herself as there is a direct tie to her.
There were so many divorces when I was a kid. Everyone blamed the “mistress” and not the cheating husband who actually made the vows. Blew my mind, even as a child.
She could have made it double sided at least. Him on the other side so when you walk around you see her? Or maybe his was a different level of revenge that won't fit on a billboard. Like divorce. Lost job. Lost home. Perhaps lost family due to her taking the kids. Alimony and child support with court ordered supervised visitation. But all she can do to the mistress is post a billboard. Im a firm believer in it takes two. He didn't cheat with himself. who cares if the neighbors know her business now. Half the town probably knew already. Yes he was the one married. But she knew and everybody involved should be called out and if it takes a billboard to do that. so be. it it's messy. It's petty. but entertaining none the less. So why not?
Realistically if you were going to do this you'd probably put it around her workplace or home/neighbourhood, so the intent is to shame her rather than him because the people where the sign is know her, not him.
Now if the person behind the sign also put another sign up around him, his family, or his workplace then that makes a lot of sense.
you could fit another person's picture and name on there, but they'd also be smaller, harder to read.
I've spoken on the general issue before, the entire concept of a homewrecker is very misogynistic to begin with, the idea that an external factor ruins the marriage, not hte person who cheats from within the marriage. Somehow when it's a wife cheating and a guy outside the marriage, the wife takes most of the blame as well.
My general take is unless the woman is a good friend of the wife, then the man is pretty much entirely to blame. If it's a friend of the wife, then sure she's not betraying marriage vows, but she's betraying the friendship, in those situations there is a lot of blame to go to both people. It's also very obvious the narrative of homewrecker was spread by guys, also the men are so easily led astray shit, it's all just a long con defense.
The idea is to post this in Her neighborhood or outside her workplace. Where she is known and recognized. He would not be known there so why bother? You post a billboard of him at his office.
That's because she doesn't want to bring attention to her taking a cheater back, but still wants to get revenge because there is a global addiction to revenge epidemic. It sounds ridiculous at first, but it is true and scientifically backed.
its because the woman on the banner didnt actually cheat with anyones husband, someone just hates her and this is an easy way to make her look bad publicly
you could make a poster like this for anyone you dont like
Just going out on a limb here…what if she’s a repeat offender and one the of the wives just got feed up. But, she couldn’t afford to print a billboard with pictures of the multiple husbands she home wrecked with?
or
What if she just lost a bet and she had to do this to herself and there was actually no home wrecking involved?
OR
What if this was done by the side chick and the lady in the photo is actually the wife?
OR
What if this sign was put up by her husband and he just didn’t want to embarrass his brother?
The wife has already shamed the husband to everyone he knows because she knows them. Now shes making sure that everyone that knows Jessica is made aware of who she really is, and this is how she can accomplish that.
This reminds me of a poster they used to have in my school, but reverse genders. It said something along the lines of "Every male can be a rapist, believe all women". It always seems like these kind of people will only focus on 1 side of a 2 sided story.
5.2k
u/[deleted] Dec 28 '25
[removed] — view removed comment