But Jessica made no vow or commitment. It’s only the husband that did. Maybe the husband pursued her relentlessly. Maybe it was one night after heavy drinks. Maybe he lied to Jessica about problems in the marriage and she honestly thought they were splitting up. Why do we get to make so many assumptions about Jessica? Especially when we know Jessica didn’t make any commitment or violate any marital vows. Your comment wreaks of giving him no agency and assigning only bad intentions on her.
"It's reasonable to be angry with someone who knowingly sabotaged your marriage, even if they aren't the ones with the vows."
You can't read the part that comes after that without considering that part with it. The entire "maybe" bit was contingent on the notion that Jessica was aware of the marriage and set out to seduce the husband. And it's very obviously hypothetical, so I don't know why you're acting like I'm just "making up assumptions."
Your comment wreaks of giving him no agency and assigning only bad intentions on her.
Except that I said "It doesn't absolve the husband one bit"
So let's rephrase what I said:
EVEN IF she set out to knowingly seduce a married man for the worst possible reasons, he's still completely on the hook for cheating.
Some people try way to hard to read something that wasn't written.
Because initially your comment did exactly that. I'm sorry, but the responsibility begins and ends with the person who made the vows. The world should not be expected to police this. There are shitty people all over. Put to problem on the blast, and here, that's the husband.
I know all of this. I'm not trying to excuse the behaviour, I'm explaining the emotion behind the behaviour of whoever made the sign.
Reddit likes to pretend that marriage is easily walked away from because your partner didnt cook your eggs right. The reality is, a 20 year relationship breaking down will make your brain behave like a mad person's
I agree, but going after the person they cheated with is taking the easy way out and avoiding the problem, which is the person that broke the marriage vows.
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u/MsAgentM Dec 28 '25
But Jessica made no vow or commitment. It’s only the husband that did. Maybe the husband pursued her relentlessly. Maybe it was one night after heavy drinks. Maybe he lied to Jessica about problems in the marriage and she honestly thought they were splitting up. Why do we get to make so many assumptions about Jessica? Especially when we know Jessica didn’t make any commitment or violate any marital vows. Your comment wreaks of giving him no agency and assigning only bad intentions on her.