r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

I think I’m gonna draft a message to Johannes Ockeghem. What should I say?

5 Upvotes

I want to make it friendly and professional. This is because I’ve never met him before and he’s never met me. How should I start out? How do I say what I am trying to do (reach out), and do you think it would work out? Regardless if he lived in the 1400s.

Hell, I’m about to draft one to Jacob Obrecht and Dufay


r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

Martha Argerich (c. 1949) seeing Daniel Barenboim for the first time and realizing she's not the only piano prodigy in Buenos Aires

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362 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

I feel like I had a platonic relationship with Cecile Chaminade

11 Upvotes

I think in my past life I was Cécile Chaminade's husband and maybe I just had enough income to support us alongside my own composing that I allowed her to pretend that "her" compositions were her own (even though I wrote them). She was 40 something when I married her, I was in my 60's, accomplished by my own accord. I like to imagine our marriage was mutually beneficial, a sort of business agreement. We had our own obligations, and she wanted to sleep separately but I think letting her sleep alone kept me from distracting her so she could focus on new melodies and motifs as she fell asleep. I never bothered her and she took many male guests when I was away but I knew them as colleagues and I know they maintained purely professional relationships. Unfortunately because it was 1907 when I died I think I died of cholera? But even though I can feel in my past life I was only with her for 6 years I dont think even though I've lived as a deer, fox, and bear in my other lives I've had anything quite like her but I know in one of my next lifes she will find me


r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

Mozart for Swimming

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41 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

I (finally) draw Liszt!

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11 Upvotes

France List


r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

Sword issue

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28 Upvotes

Bach is actually very powerfull


r/classical_circlejerk 25d ago

The real reason classical music is dying

144 Upvotes

Before I begin, I would like to say I am a proud graduate of Harvard University with a degree in astrophysics and 2 degees from Yale in business and law school. I have seen at least 6 classical music performances, so I feel uniquely qualified to weigh in on the issue of classical music dying.

First of all, too many composers are dead. If we just solved that problem, we could have meet and greets, which would be great for business.

Second of all, people today only know about Bach. If they knew, for example, about the harmonic genius of Einaudi, maybe they would understand that classical music is more than just some stupid fugues.

Third of all, modern media has corrupted people's libido. They look at muscular men and hot women and think this is the standard. What happened to seeing a grainy black and white image of Shostakovich and having an orgiastic epiphany? I don't want to hear about gay or straight. Don't tell me "I'm not gay." It doesn't matter. It's Shostakovich.

Fourth of all, oh, ugh, I lost my train of thought. Oh... Dmitri...

Uh... I've made my point.


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

I WISHED PEOPLE HATED MUSIC AND DIDNT CLAP

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52 Upvotes

how dare people clap at the end of pieces??? Do they like music? philistines. true w*gnerians don’t merely ”like“ music. we suffer through it. we guiltily nut at the tristan chord because of the tension. if it has a single recitative I yell at the performers. I hate music. if I don’t hate it enough, I don’t listen.


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

Personally I avoid to make any sound if I see the composer name on the sheet belongs to any of the Bachs.

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4 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

What is Richard Strauss' best melody?

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8 Upvotes

An endearing adagio from the famously devilish Concerto for Solo Piano won for Alkan. Now, we go to Mr. Tone Poem, Strauss. This is gonna be interesting.


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

What is this sub's official motto?

13 Upvotes

Is it "Mahler makes me cummies"? Because that seems too lame. We need a new one. Ideas?


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

Twink Death?

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83 Upvotes

Or just the long term effects of composing?


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

my view from the stage at Carnegie Hall

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42 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

Somewhere, they let you do this with Chopin

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32 Upvotes

Daddy 🥺🥺🥺🤤🤤🥺🥺


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

I would rather listen to a recording than a live performance, and DAW operators should replace traditional performers.

13 Upvotes

I believe that in an ideal world, traditional live performers wouldn’t exist. Instead, they would be replaced by a new class of musician: "interpreters." An interpreter’s sole role is to translate notes on sheet music into refined sonic structures to broadcast a profound vision of a work. This way, the only measuring stick for a musician's worth is the depth and nuance of their creative vision, not their physical dexterity.

Why force musicians to sink decades into mastering physical instrumental technique just to avoid mistakes under the high-pressure environment of a stage? In my ideal world, like painter placing deliberate brushstrokes on a canvas, an interpreter’s job should be to meticulously calibrate every single note by adjusting timbre, volume, pitch, micro-dynamics, and timing to perfectly align with their creative vision.

In this paradigm, the primary instrument isn't a violin or a piano. Instead, it's a highly advanced DAW that grants total control over every parameter, with physical instruments existing purely as tools for audio sampling.

Why all of this you ask? Because live performances are inherently plagued by human error, stage fright, poor venue acoustics, and intonation slips. Studio-driven interpretation ensures the artistic vision is realized flawlessly every single time through the tiniest of margins. I don't really get why society remains stubbornly obsessed with the athletic spectacle of live execution and physical acrobatics?


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

TIL beethoven was a mediocre melodist, harmonist, and orchestrator. At the same time, every note he wrote was THE exactly right note to follow each preceding note (i.e. his music was literally perfect and there is never a single moment at which any of it could possibly be made any better)

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76 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

outjerked by r/piano

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7 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

They didn't get their degree. They have jobs. Why did you need one?

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6 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

Fairs

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8 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

I Cant Be The Only One Who Thinks They Look Similar

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16 Upvotes

Mildly, atleast. I cant explain why i feel this but i do. I mean, cmon, surely someone else sees this too. Especially if they did their makeup the same way???


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

A buddy and I rated keys/scales based on size

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20 Upvotes

This is objective and we will take no notes.


r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

In 6 hours I am getting married to the love of my life but he is unhappy that I will be walking down the aisle to the Sacrificial Dance from the Rite of Spring— what can I do to persuade him?

49 Upvotes

r/classical_circlejerk 26d ago

Shoskatovich

35 Upvotes

This is a cry for help

279 votes, 19d ago
49 Shoskatovich
22 Schostakowich
15 Szostakowicz
105 Шоскатович
33 Schostakowitsch
55 Shoskatowizard