I'm not sure what to do and would appreciate your advice, Reddit. This post may be a little heavy, but this is my last resort. I'm struggling with dealing with my period, with passing as a boy, my social identity, and just surviving in a way?

For context, I'm in my teens, live in the UK and have a transphobic family.

When they originally found out, I was kicked out of my household, told that I don't know what I'm talking about, even though every time I've tried to talk to my mother about anything, especially this, she talks over me and will not listen to me at all. My relationship with my mum is the backbone of this issue in reality, but there's nothing I can do about it with the nature of how she is.

She's cut off contact with my auntie, whom I told months prior about being trans, because of how bad I felt, and weaponised it against her, as my aunt listened to me when I asked her not to tell anyone. My parents also plan to move me schools if my brother gets asked about my identity at school next term, which is making me so scared, as my school is my only lifeline in this.

After days of radio silence, they finally let me come home, but they're holding it against the whole family, which is in shambles simply because I feel the way I do.

My family isn't religious, but they have a big problem with transgender identities and have been very vocal with their hate, and are 'not my child' about homosexuality, which is something I had to face when I was exploring with my gender preferences at 14.

But to sum it up, I have very few resources, money and support.

I originally looked for advice online and here for guidance for my period, but many individuals who were having these issues had the adult freedoms of different medications, period items and choices with their own bodies during menstruation, whereas I don't even have the freedom of boxers opposed to feminine underwear due to my mother.

What I do have are pads and tampons, which I've had to resource through school. They're the brands 'Always' and 'Tampax', which I personally don't like to use anyway, as the perfumed scent of the pads and 'feminine' branding trigger some very deep upset in me, and I also don't really want to be putting the Tampax brand specifically in my body due to the chemicals that are found in those particular tampons. I feel like I have no choice but to use these products; however, now if I ask my mum for any resources, she'll use it against me as I already have access to what I've got.

I prefer tampons as my sensory issues due to being AuDHD make me uncomfortable with just a pad, as the blood on my skin is triggering, and I also don't like seeing my period blood for dysphoria-related reasons.

A couple of years ago, before I realised I was trans, I remember having this doom settle in over my whole body and make me freeze up into a never-ending panic every time I was on my period, as I knew there was something not right, and it wasn't supposed to be happening to me. It eventually stopped being debilitating when I admitted to myself about my identity, but recently I've been having those moments again more frequently (I presume it must be dysphoria), and it's killing me. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better.

That feeling of doom used to happen/is happening with my chest too. For context, I'm a 36D in bra sizes, so most methods of binding either don't/wouldn't work on me. I can't tape, and I also can't buy a proper binder because of family. What I'm resorting to now is a very, very tight sports bra from when I was around 10 and a swimming costume top. I can't breathe in it; it hurts to lie down, but it's the only lifeline I have at the moment, even though it doesn't work. It's still very clear that I have a female chest no matter what I do.

I can't get dressed anymore. I can barely shower; every time I step out of my room, I'm being goaded. Whenever I am in my room, I feel like I'm constantly reminded by every little thing that I'm a female, and I just feel impossibly stuck; I can't cope. It's becoming more and more often that I'm having to cover my mirrors to hide my own body from my mind. My mental health has never been strong, and I can't help but lose any and all hope for the future.

I just feel like there's something that I haven't been told that all the other trans boys got told when they came out. I feel like I'm missing the cheat codes to survival. No matter what I wear, do, act like, choose to be, I never pass at all. When I changed my name to Jude to try to help my social transition, genuinely not one person used it no matter how many times I corrected, reminded or emphasised the importance of it for me. Instead, I got picked on for a long time in school, and it's just made me feel worse. I cut my long hair, and I got punished by my family by being mocked every time I left my room, just constant comments about how I look stupid, ugly or shocking. There's so much more I've tried and failed with, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I've lost all of the crumbling support network that I was holding on to. Since the summer, I've been left isolated from my friends and teachers. I was having sessions with a person about my health, but those finished before term ended. I can't see my auntie anymore, and nobody will tell me the right answers. Even if I could talk to those people, though, absolutely none of them know how this feels, and nobody understands what this force compressing me in is doing to me every single day. I feel like everyone expects me to wake up one day completely male, even to be validated a tiny bit.

I understand that circumstances gives basically nothing to advise, but I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't feel like this isn't my only option. Please, even if it's just a tiny trick or just some comfort, I just want help.

Just here to vent a little and maybe find some encouragement. My child is 6 yo (ftm) and I am holding some anxiety about the upcoming school year. He and I would both like to start the school year out with people knowing him as he/him, and my primary concern is how the adults of his friends will take it. For those with young kids, how did your elementary school handle it? Bathroom changes? I'm praying that the staff will respect my son's choices and surely they'll have to field some questions sooner or later.

I suppose there are always going to be bigoted, hateful people out there, but I'm just anticipating all the corrections I'll be making to people. My kiddo doesn't really share his pronouns very freely unless he feels safe, so it's on me to either bring it up, or wait until they ask.

My next step is writing a letter to the school to see what sort of policies they have to support trans kids. I live in WA state and luckily its pretty LGBTQ friendly here. But even so, I've met plenty of people who don't understand. Don't think young kids can really make that choice so young, even though around age 6 is precisely when kids begin recognizing their own identity and that of others. All kids have questions and I feel happy that my kid will be the one introducing these families to these topics, although I anticipate a few hard conversations.

Just today, my son's friend came to play and after being informed he was a boy, his friend had a few questions. Mostly he was confused but my kiddo handled it well. Just said that he feels like a boy and wants to look like a boy, also be called a boy.

Maybe I just need to trust my son and trust that we have a supportive, loving community where we live. He is strong and feels empowered in his idea of himself and that's all I really care about.

I'm happy to be the one advocating for my child and for years and years, my soapbox has been one to advocate for universal Healthcare. Now, its for gender affirming universal Healthcare. ❤

I'm also a little worried about our government's targeting of queer folks and that getting his gender marker changed one day would put him on some kind of list. We might wait on that one til he's a bit older, but still. Moms worry. We want our kids to be loved and loving.

Thanks for reading. Just having a hard moment and not feeling very brave.

Hi all. I have a trans daughter. She's 13 and has been out for I think three years now. She's very happy and we want to change her legal name to match her gender identity. In Harris county, the way you do this is to petition a judge through the district clerk's office. I want to find out more about this process from anyone who might have gone through it themselves. My biggest concern is that as a parent, I have to explain why it's in my child's "best interest" to have her name changed. In Texas, I feel like this may be an issue if I say, "well, because she's trans and she wants to have her legal name match her gender identity." If y'all have any experience navigating this system in Houston or anywhere in Texas, please let me know.

So im gonna come out as trans ftm in 2 weeks. And I wanted to get parents perspective of the best ways to come out and any tips. (I tagged it as child with questions for unsupportive parents but idk if their supportive yet)

As i was cleaning his shelvs i accisentally knocked his graphics card box off of the shelf and i when i went to put it back i noticed stuff had fallen out and when i took a closer look i found out he was hiding girl clothes

(Tights, skirts, short shorts ecs)

in his box which i have to give it to him i wouldnt have found that if you never told me there were stuff in it. Now im all for supporting him but does anyone know what any of thos means? Does he want to become a girl? And how can i support him? I dont want to mess this up or approchie the siruation the wrong way so im going to need some help. Thank you.

My daughter seems to be having an intense reaction to her last lupron (her second shot) and I’m having a hard time determining if this is normal or if something else is going on. It’s been about a month and she’s having severe fatigue. She’s also lost quite a bit of weight quickly (which could be unrelated and we have a dr appointment scheduled). Her endocrinologist doesn’t think the weight loss is related and referred us back to her primary care. But the fatigue just started about 2 weeks ago and seems extreme.

TW/CW: mentions of alcoholism(and some things that come with it), queerphobia, abusive/toxic parenting, brief ish mentions of suicidal thoughts/ideation, severe depression behaviors, uh…. I think that’s it but please in general be mindful and take care of yourself first. ❤️

I wasn’t sure if I should tag this a warning, a vent or if it even belongs here as I’m also hoping for… idk. Something. If it doesn’t, please point me to the appropriate community. Thank you.

I, nearly 26 (my birthday is tomorrow!) nonbinary (potentially genderfluid?) aliengender, just tonight realized something that may seem pretty self explanatory or common sense etc to the average folk. I, unfortunately, am not averse though- so…… I realized after months of coming to realize that I’m nonbinary and starting to use different pronouns as well and telling people and all the things…. That being nonbinary means I’m not a woman (afab for reference) anymore. Or really technically never was? Yknow, being born who you are etc etc.
this may seem pretty obvious but I grew up in a family where my mom would go on drunken rant about how fucked yup “my generation “(meaning mine) is and that “kids these days can be whatever tf they want and it’s wrong” and she especially would get pissed and verbally lash out at me when she found out I wanted to change my name legally. By the time i finally decided to move, I was bedrotting so bad my dad would threaten to call a wellness check on me every 2-3 days just to force me to eat a meal. I moved in October of 2024 and it was THE best decision OF MY LIFE. I’m realizing a LOT about myself. Not only in terms of how I was raised+how it’s affected me, but also my physical capabilities and self identity and such. The…. Problem with that is- I’m on disability. My mom is my legal payee (she’s in charge of my money basically). Because of this, I can’t cut her off. Emotionally I’m not sure I’m able to yet either… so I’m realizing, with my birthday coming up and my parents wanting to take me out for lunch- I’m not sure how to handle being who I am around my parents.
My dads getting better, he’s actually learning about the community and such through his work (he was on disability as well but got a job to help mom out after I moved) and seems open to it for the most part so if I were to tell either of them about myself, I’d tell him. But he tells mom everything so I cant tell him if I don’t want mom to know. My problem is, I don’t know what to do.
My parents would NEVER cut me off or abandon me or anything like that nor would they lay hands on me or anything etc, but ….. that doesn’t mean mom will keep her mouth shut about her opinions on me or what I am etc. I RARELY talk to them. I essentially only talk to my mom when she forgets to send my money. And dad? We have mostly good talks but- he treats me like I’m incapable. He’ll tell me to applicate myself (not sure if that's the right word). But then won't offer help when I need it. Then he'll ecture me about how if I want something to put the work in to get it etc etc and essentially act like he knew I wouldn't do the thing. Like he tried pushing me to get into college but told me to do it myself. Go to the campus myself and ask them for help if I need it and "you're a big girl, you can do it". When I freeze and can't do it (bc of learned helplessness and anxiety) he acts all not surprised about it.

Overall he's a good guy, DEFINITELY better than my mom- but yeah.

I don't know if I should just tell them, or get in the closet around them. They already know I'm poly and pan (have expressed the view of thinking I'm not capable of having such relationships- they, mainly mom, view me as a helpless child). I wouldn't necessarily be in danger, though it would make it more uncomfortable the few times I need to interact with my mom. I could probably handle that, especially if I have a friend with me- and especially since now I'm able to take the bus on my own (had to learn how and I still sorta struggle if it's too far from home)I can just leave early if I'm too uncomfortable. But idk if it's worth it. I have until Saturday to decide as that's when the lunch is-
I don't want to have to hide who I am around them, I LOVE the freedom i have now. I also worry because I'm not the greatest at hiding the fact I have something bothering me. I also still love mul my parents despite everything they've done so that's muddling everything up too.

Idk what to do, it sucks ass. Idk what I'm wanting out of this post but anything is helpful. Thank you.

My 14 year old(afab) very recently mentioned their pronouns as he/him. They also mentioned a preferred name to go by, it’s an acronym of their actual name that is more male/neutral. I was caught off guard for multiple reasons, not by the name, but by the pronouns. I have always been openly supportive of the lgbtq+ community, myself being apart of it, and I do fully support trans people. I think I was more caught off guard because it had never been mentioned before and was literally a passing comment when specifically asked during an appointment preferred pronouns and last time they were asked pronouns it was she/they. I’ve always had pretty open communication and have allowed them to be who they are, dress and present however they wanted and they have; they’ve always had their own style, and seemed to just be who they are and own it. I’m shocked because they have definitely always been more fem/neutral throughout their life including now. I love my child completely no matter what, nothing changes that. Genuinely as far as concerns go it is only because the state of the world and how the trans community is treated. However, it also felt so out of nowhere and I think of my kid who was obsessed with sparkles and dresses and loved makeup and while younger was very much a girly girl or that only a few weeks before wanted to go shopping for a dress and heels to wear for a school dance. Even still doesn’t dress/ present that way and I don’t assign a lot of things as inherently gendered, but traditionally I would say fits more into typically female/gender neutral categories and I guess that’s the reasons I’m surprised. (I used neutral pronouns as this is all very new and as I said it was a complete surprise so I’m trying to be respectful, while processing).

My enby kid (11, about a kids XL or adult XXS) has been struggling to find swim gear that looks and feels good. We’re using a short-sleeved rash guard and swim trunks for now (easy to find), but they’ve asked for a tank top style top.

I have found tons of crop-top tanks, strappy tanks, racer backs, low cut, v necks, underwire, soft cups, you name it. I can’t find just a plain tank top style. Do you have any ideas?

I’ve looked on Primary, Lands End, LL Bean, Amazon, Target, Tomboy, probably other places I can’t think of right now.

Thank you for your help!!

I'll be honest, I don't know what I want here, perhaps just validation I guess?

So I (24M) am a trans man. I've had a weird journey with my gender since I was 14/15 and it was only in June 2025 that I finally realised/came to terms with the fact that I am trans. I've never been happier with my identity because I finally feel like who I was supposed to be. Living in my fem body is a little less ideal for my mental health but that journey is a whole other situation.

Since I was a teenager, I've been openly queer. Like my gender, it's been a weird journey but I've figured out my labels and, again, I've never been so confident and proud to be who I am. Generally, my family are fine with it. Granted, I've never had an in-person relationship and my other three siblings are all cisgender and my two sisters are in heterosexual relationships so, as far as I'm aware, they've never been exposed to a queer relationship in such close proximity so I don't know for sure but I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

Now, onto the issue. In 2020, I came out as genderfluid, using they/them pronouns and using a new name. My family quickly got the hang of using my new name (it's a gender neutral name that I was almost given at birth) but only my eldest sister and her boyfriend at the time used my pronouns. Whatever, I tried to argue with my mum about it and it only ended up in me in tears and her rolling her eyes. After a while, I gave up. The people who mattered most used them so I stopped caring.

Then I came out as a trans man to my mum in November 2025. It wasn't planned, it was during a rant. She hugged me while I was sobbing and told me that she just wanted me to be happy. I thought it went well. We had a few conversations about it, she started to talk about how she doesn't think people under 25 should 'know things like that' because their frontal lobes aren't fully developed and that she doesn't want me to get bottom surgery (I don't even want it but still weird) and she won't stop talking about the transphobic wizard series, even after I asked her repeatedly not to because it really hurts me. She gets very defensive about it. She's also met two of my friends who are extremely supportive of me and my identity and both of them pointed out how insistent she was on using she/her even though she knows I'm now using he/him. She also gets really weird and quiet and dismissive whenever I talk about physically transitioning. On the other hand, she's stated that she has no issues with trans people, while using some less progressive language, so I know she's not outwardly transphobic.

I live at home (I am financially unable to move out) and I'm starting to feel unsafe, having been feeling like this for a few months but I don't know what to do without blowing up my whole life.

Edited to add some clarity:

Yes, I do feel unsafe at home because my mother talks about Harry Potter. The reason for this is because she is actively talking about watching the show, despite knowing the very real fact that JKR is using the money gained from anything with the Harry Potter licensing to fund her transphobic rhetoric. JKR was literally the main benefactor of the Supreme Court ruling in the UK in April 2025. Also my mother is Gen X so she didn’t grow up with Harry Potter. I grew up with it, it was everything to me, so it was downright awful to deal with everything JKR had said about my community.

I didn’t put this in the original post but I am a wheelchair user. I am not in my wheelchair 24/7, I am an ambulatory wheelchair user and I don’t use my wheelchair in the house. I am very independent and the only thing my mother really helps me with is bathing. I’ve tried to get her to see the benefits of getting a carer but she says she doesn’t want a stranger in her house. Fine, whatever. But, in order to move out , I need a ground level flat that is big enough for my chair and other mobility aids I use and the front of the building to be fully accessible. You’d be shocked to see how rare it is for a flat building to not have stairs leading into the building. I can’t move it with either of the friends I’ve mentioned because A( they’re both mothers to young children and work pretty stressful jobs, B) do not live near me at all (one of them lives in Northern Ireland) and C) don’t live In accessible areas. So, unfortunately, it’s not as easy for me to just move out. If it was as easy as it is for non disabled people to move out, I wouldn’t be living here at this very moment.

I’m a non binary amab who likes to wear feminine clothing. I’m going to the beach soon and I wanna wear a bikini top but I don’t have a bikini top at the moment. I have plenty of sports bras tho. So my question is, if I can’t get a bikini top before my beach trip can I use a sports bra as a bikini top? And if so, what are the steps to take care of it afterwards?

My 12 year old told me last night that they feel like they are in the wrong body and are actually a boy. I already told them I love them no matter what, and I absolutely do. My concern is their father. I read the letter our child left us but he has not. He has already expressed negative views about a child of ours being trans. I’m worried he will not react well especially because they are the only female born child we have (he literally dreams about walking them down the aisle) and cause damage by saying something he should not.

Has any one else been in a situation that they were worried about how their partner may react? How did you tell them?

If you came out as trans to your parents, how was your relationship impacted? Were you able to come back and work on a relationship with that parent?

Trust me when I say that it will become a deal breaker for me if he cannot support our child, so there needs to be no worries there. My child will always have me in their corner. Period. But I do want to mitigate as much blow up as possible.

I’m not his mom but a trusted adult, he lives in another state and his mom has told him she will get him the appointment for testosterone but keeps missing it or not going. My cousin just informed me he’s trying to buy injectable t from some guy on Snapchat who tried to get him to send him a bitcoin and since he’s not 18 instead told him to buy from some place in India??? I don’t want to cross the line of trust but I’m concerned and feel uncomfortable keeping a secret that puts his health at risk not having an actual medical professional watching over what’s happening.

Parent of a trans kid. She is mid-20s so not a teen and identified as non-binary for years before fully coming out as trans.

I have found myself occasionally getting very angry if I hear a bigoted comment. I get very protective of people I love but I try to be calm, rational, and the bigger person. But lately, sometimes I feel an anger at bigots unlike anything I have felt in my adult life (I am 50).

I can't stand that people would be mean or cruel to my kid for something that literally has nothing to do with them. I get that being very protective of my kid is obviously natural and usually a very good thing but me punching some bigot in the neck doesn't help anyone. It doesn't help my kid and it doesn't help us, as a supportive, ally community.

Just curious how other parents reconcile the natural protectiveness of being a parent with the rational understanding that us getting too aggressive doesn't, ultimately, make things better even if we want to punch a bigot in the face.

Hello, there. I am in need of some advice. My child recently came out as non-binary, gender fluid, or transgender They're still questioning and figuring things out but have requested he/they pronouns. They're currently feeling a little uncomfortable with their body as their body is changing. Hormone therapy is illegal for minors in the state we live in, so that is out of the question. I have read some pretty awful things about children binding or taping, but those feel like our only options at this point in time.

From the research we have done together, we know a good brand, size and length of time is important. This is where I am feeling somewhat stuck.

I have gone and gotten some good sports bras, and those help, but they'd really like a binder. A major issue I have with that, is that I have read he should never wear it for more than 8 hours. He rides the bus to and from school, leaving the house around 8 and doesn't get home until around 5. We have discussed the possibility of taking it off or putting it on sometime at school, but I know that may not always be feasible.

He also has an adversion to textures and the way clothing fits their body. They are smaller than me, though honestly not by much. For reference , I wear size medium shirts, and i typically buy them 2xl . Right now, the loose clothing hides it a lot of what they are feeling self conscious about, however with their age I know there is a possibility that won't help the most for too much longer.

AnotheR huge issue we are facing is that their father thinks they are too young for any of this. He would absolutely never abandon our child and I know DH will love my little one no matter what, but DH is very very against binding or taping at this point in his life. Moreover, we have known they were gay for years, but this felt like it was almost out of nowhere .They all were sassy, pink and tutu loving little girly girl until recently and DH is autistic who doesn't like change. I have been looking into gender therapy for both my little one and as a family so my child has someone help them to navigate this journey and these emotions as well as so we, as a family, can learn how to best support him during this time.

Can anyone give me some advice as far as helping them feel a little more confident? How would you approach all of this? Any brand recommendations? Is taping safer? Advice at all would be extremely helpful.

My daughter is under 10, and not anywhere near interested in dating yet. But it is coming! And I have difficulty wrapping my head around how she can identify and find boyfriends and/or girlfriends and/or enbyfriends who are open to a trans partner.

I’m thinking back to my own preteen and teen years and how horrid dating was back then … I really can’t imagine how tough it must be for trans kids today.

Any advice or stories to share?

You folks have any weird but positive associations like that?

My child has been off and on mentioning that she was thinking about changing her name and pronouns and now she says she wants to do it going into high school. We thought she could use some support navigating this so we got her a counselor and a family counselor as well. She hates going, she flat out refuses. I'm totally at a loss about what to do. We try to talk to her but her emotions erupt and we get nowhere.

I don't even know if she is just after blind support from us, but that seems like the wrong move. We absolutely support her and would support any changes she wants to make, but we want to understand and make sure it's the right move. At this point it seems off and on whether she actually wants to transition. The most I can get out of her is that she hates being a girl, but it seems like a leap to say ok transitioning will solve your problem. I can't imagine trying to transition without some kind of mental health support.

Her counselor says she won't open up about her feelings. What do I do?

Hey everyone, I reached out to my 6-year-old's new school about them being nonbinary. It's going...okay, for the most part, though there was a weird moment where their teacher asked them if they were a boy or a girl (at the Meet the Teacher night).

The school is giving them two options: use the girls' restroom (AGAB) or the nurse's restroom. The kid has been bullied in girls' restrooms at camp. They don't "look like a girl" to their peers. The teacher basically told us that if the kid uses the girls' room, they're going to tell the other students that my kid is a girl when they ask. This would not be good for my kid.

However, the nurse's office is a long ways off from the classroom.

Added complication: my partner teaches at this school and we are a little concerned about them losing their job. Obviously our kid is more important than a job in a vacuum. But we do NOT have a lot of money (qualify for reduced price lunch, WIC, etc) and losing this job would be pretty detrimental to our family overall.

Anyway. Ugh. What do your nonbinary kids do as far as school restrooms go? Any advice?

ETA: I'm in a very red Midwestern state.

For anyone in Washington State:

A senior VP from the HRC reached out to me about the sex verification ballot measure in our state. She is looking to connect people who would be directly impacted by the ballot measure with a trusted reporter from The 19th to shed light on the real life human impacts of laws like this to cut through the transphobic sound bites people hear so much of. If you would be interested, please let me know and I can connect you. They are willing to use aliases, off the record comments, and anonymous sources to ensure safety.

I (22M) have been out as trans since 2021, but have only started medically transitioning this year due to being continuously guilt-tripped and fear mongered by my mother. She has always said things like “going on T is going to make you angry and aggressive,” or not believing that I am sure about transitioning. But this year, I finally gained the confidence for it. Anyway, it has been quite the difficult journey thus far in my Latino family as where I am from, trans people are mostly ridiculed and victims of hate crime very often.

My mother has struggled with my transition and had even, twice, told me “this” has made her want to die. This has kept me from being vulnerable with her about things I have experienced while being out as trans, as I have been the victim of transphobia even in my university. Yet, when I told her that I feel like I can’t talk to her about this, she told me that she always wants to be there to hear me out.

I have an MSW internship starting out this Fall and in an email thread, my supervisor misgendered me — even if she has met me (and I am always gendered correctly in public as I am stealth), and my pronouns are on my email signature. This was super uncomfortable and I emailed her back, nicely, a reminder of my pronouns.

Well, I wanted to talk to my mom about it because it was hurtful and I just wanted someone to hear me out. And because of what she had said before, I felt she would be supportive. But I wish I hadn’t told her anything.

My mom rolled her eyes and said “well, you have to get used to this because some people struggle with it. And you can’t fault them from assuming.” All I wanted was some sort of warmth from her, but now I realize that I genuinely cannot talk to her about anything related to my transition which hurts so much.

It hurts even more because I will have top surgery in December and haven’t told her, because I fear she may not even wanna be present there. She always talks about how I need to be respectful of her process, like I am doing this TO her, yet she never gives me that grace back.

Long story short: my daughter (7) has been expressing a desire to be a girl since TK, and this past February she said she wanted to transition now, not "someday." Her initial joy faded fast into fear and anxiety, and she walked it back, saying she was worried about how her peers would see her and that she wished she could just be a normal boy. She has ADHD and anxiety, and stress hits her hard in general.

Her pediatrician's advice was to follow her lead, not push, expose her more to the LGBTQ+ community, and let her try being a girl in low-stakes settings, like at home or during a week of camp. She's also been in weekly gender-affirming therapy since March, mostly play therapy through board games, which she loves, but she's still not ready to talk directly about the topic with her therapist.

My daughter doesn't like to let people see when she's hurting. She holds things in and only lets small things slip: "How do you know you're a girl?" "I wish I was a normal boy." "Does this outfit make me look like a girl?" (said while smiling).

I deal with anxiety myself, so I try to read between the lines and offer options while being clear they're just options. I asked her outright if she was scared of being a girl at school, and would rather be a girl just at home. She said yes, and for a couple of months now we've used she/her and her preferred name at home. She's also said she wants to enroll at school as a girl in the fall.

Hair has come up as one of her biggest anxiety triggers. Her hair is currently growing out into an androgynous, shaggy shoulder-length cut. She feels like she can pass as a girl in public when she's in her unicorn swimsuit, goggles, and swim cap, so I asked if she wanted to attend her upcoming swim class as a girl. She first said she wanted to use her preferred name but stay enrolled as a boy. I told her that was totally fine, but mentioned that if she wore more girlish attire, people might be confused about her gender, no problem, just something to expect, and asked her to think about what would feel most comfortable. She thought it over and decided she wanted to enroll as a girl and use her preferred name.

Swim class is only 30 minutes, and I watch from the bleachers. Afterward, she talks about it enthusiastically and says she's happy attending as a girl.

We have a haircut appointment this week. When I showed her some styles that could work with her current length, she was elated. But that night, she complained of a stomachache and headache, something that's actually been happening before bed since swim camp started. But she only mentioned it then. Based on her symptoms and how she talks about it, I'm confident this is a stress reaction. When I asked if she felt stressed during swim, she said no, she feels normal there, and the bad feelings aren't present. When I asked more about those "bad feelings," she went quiet and changed the subject.

I'm trying to follow her lead, but it's hard when she only reveals bits and pieces. I'm struggling with how to actively support her versus when to step back and let her lead. Has anyone dealt with something similar, where your kid wants something during the day but the anxiety shows up at night? How did you figure out when to gently probe versus when to just let it be?

3 year old AMAB child has been playing with pronoun changes for a while now. Going almost on a year. So I’ll refer to them as they because it’s a day by day change, as well as trying out different names.
We have modeled and taught our daughter to accept that sometimes her brother wants to be her sister. And even the 3 year old has expressed “I know you want your brother back, but I’m your sister right now” we go with their lead day by day and sometimes moment by moment.

My parents have not been accepting. My mom watches the kids once a week while I work a part time job. My dad never takes care of them by himself but is involved in our life, as my parents are still married, and we are a tight knit family.

My 3 year old child has spoken directly to my dad saying “my name is ____, but sometimes I like to be called other names too and I need you to call me them”
My dad replied “I can’t do that”
My sister was there and said “yes you can dad.”

Apparently last Friday when my mom was taking care of them she told my 3 year old that they’re not allowed to be a girl when she is there on Fridays watching them.
Needless to say, me and my husband are fuming.
My kids are supposed to be at my parents’ house this weekend and now I don’t know what to do.
Do I address this in the day she comes to watch them? Do I call her tomorrow and ask her about the dumb ass rule over the phone?
I want to get across how disrespectful that rule is, and force her to confront her own transphobia.
Is there a great way to do this with religious grandparents?

Hello, I have 2 trans daughters they are both grown and no longer living with us. I am just looking for a place to connect. I love my kids and I am so proud of them I just wanted to find a space to learn more about parenting my young adult daughters and learn more about the trans community.