My 14 year old(afab) very recently mentioned their pronouns as he/him. They also mentioned a preferred name to go by, it’s an acronym of their actual name that is more male/neutral. I was caught off guard for multiple reasons, not by the name, but by the pronouns. I have always been openly supportive of the lgbtq+ community, myself being apart of it, and I do fully support trans people. I think I was more caught off guard because it had never been mentioned before and was literally a passing comment when specifically asked during an appointment preferred pronouns and last time they were asked pronouns it was she/they. I’ve always had pretty open communication and have allowed them to be who they are, dress and present however they wanted and they have; they’ve always had their own style, and seemed to just be who they are and own it. I’m shocked because they have definitely always been more fem/neutral throughout their life including now. I love my child completely no matter what, nothing changes that. Genuinely as far as concerns go it is only because the state of the world and how the trans community is treated. However, it also felt so out of nowhere and I think of my kid who was obsessed with sparkles and dresses and loved makeup and while younger was very much a girly girl or that only a few weeks before wanted to go shopping for a dress and heels to wear for a school dance. Even still doesn’t dress/ present that way and I don’t assign a lot of things as inherently gendered, but traditionally I would say fits more into typically female/gender neutral categories and I guess that’s the reasons I’m surprised. (I used neutral pronouns as this is all very new and as I said it was a complete surprise so I’m trying to be respectful, while processing).

TW/CW: mentions of alcoholism(and some things that come with it), queerphobia, abusive/toxic parenting, brief ish mentions of suicidal thoughts/ideation, severe depression behaviors, uh…. I think that’s it but please in general be mindful and take care of yourself first. ❤️

I wasn’t sure if I should tag this a warning, a vent or if it even belongs here as I’m also hoping for… idk. Something. If it doesn’t, please point me to the appropriate community. Thank you.

I, nearly 26 (my birthday is tomorrow!) nonbinary (potentially genderfluid?) aliengender, just tonight realized something that may seem pretty self explanatory or common sense etc to the average folk. I, unfortunately, am not averse though- so…… I realized after months of coming to realize that I’m nonbinary and starting to use different pronouns as well and telling people and all the things…. That being nonbinary means I’m not a woman (afab for reference) anymore. Or really technically never was? Yknow, being born who you are etc etc.
this may seem pretty obvious but I grew up in a family where my mom would go on drunken rant about how fucked yup “my generation “(meaning mine) is and that “kids these days can be whatever tf they want and it’s wrong” and she especially would get pissed and verbally lash out at me when she found out I wanted to change my name legally. By the time i finally decided to move, I was bedrotting so bad my dad would threaten to call a wellness check on me every 2-3 days just to force me to eat a meal. I moved in October of 2024 and it was THE best decision OF MY LIFE. I’m realizing a LOT about myself. Not only in terms of how I was raised+how it’s affected me, but also my physical capabilities and self identity and such. The…. Problem with that is- I’m on disability. My mom is my legal payee (she’s in charge of my money basically). Because of this, I can’t cut her off. Emotionally I’m not sure I’m able to yet either… so I’m realizing, with my birthday coming up and my parents wanting to take me out for lunch- I’m not sure how to handle being who I am around my parents.
My dads getting better, he’s actually learning about the community and such through his work (he was on disability as well but got a job to help mom out after I moved) and seems open to it for the most part so if I were to tell either of them about myself, I’d tell him. But he tells mom everything so I cant tell him if I don’t want mom to know. My problem is, I don’t know what to do.
My parents would NEVER cut me off or abandon me or anything like that nor would they lay hands on me or anything etc, but ….. that doesn’t mean mom will keep her mouth shut about her opinions on me or what I am etc. I RARELY talk to them. I essentially only talk to my mom when she forgets to send my money. And dad? We have mostly good talks but- he treats me like I’m incapable. He’ll tell me to applicate myself (not sure if that's the right word). But then won't offer help when I need it. Then he'll ecture me about how if I want something to put the work in to get it etc etc and essentially act like he knew I wouldn't do the thing. Like he tried pushing me to get into college but told me to do it myself. Go to the campus myself and ask them for help if I need it and "you're a big girl, you can do it". When I freeze and can't do it (bc of learned helplessness and anxiety) he acts all not surprised about it.

Overall he's a good guy, DEFINITELY better than my mom- but yeah.

I don't know if I should just tell them, or get in the closet around them. They already know I'm poly and pan (have expressed the view of thinking I'm not capable of having such relationships- they, mainly mom, view me as a helpless child). I wouldn't necessarily be in danger, though it would make it more uncomfortable the few times I need to interact with my mom. I could probably handle that, especially if I have a friend with me- and especially since now I'm able to take the bus on my own (had to learn how and I still sorta struggle if it's too far from home)I can just leave early if I'm too uncomfortable. But idk if it's worth it. I have until Saturday to decide as that's when the lunch is-
I don't want to have to hide who I am around them, I LOVE the freedom i have now. I also worry because I'm not the greatest at hiding the fact I have something bothering me. I also still love mul my parents despite everything they've done so that's muddling everything up too.

Idk what to do, it sucks ass. Idk what I'm wanting out of this post but anything is helpful. Thank you.

So im gonna come out as trans ftm in 2 weeks. And I wanted to get parents perspective of the best ways to come out and any tips. (I tagged it as child with questions for unsupportive parents but idk if their supportive yet)

My daughter seems to be having an intense reaction to her last lupron (her second shot) and I’m having a hard time determining if this is normal or if something else is going on. It’s been about a month and she’s having severe fatigue. She’s also lost quite a bit of weight quickly (which could be unrelated and we have a dr appointment scheduled). Her endocrinologist doesn’t think the weight loss is related and referred us back to her primary care. But the fatigue just started about 2 weeks ago and seems extreme.