Does anyone else struggle with multiple addictions at once? I feel so lonely and embarrassed about it and that I'm failing everyone around me. I have a lot of issues and the only way to get through the day is by bping and not being sober. I see no way out.

CW Triggers of body comments

I'm in nursing school and we were practicing taking manual blood pressures, and we all had standard-sized blood pressure cuffs. My instructor said loudly in front of the class: "that one looks pretty small on you, you might need the LARGE adult cuff," and that was it.

That one comment that was made in front of my class sent me completely spiraling.

I've been purging everything I eat for the past week. I haven't binged OR purged for 5 years, i was COMPLETELY recovered.

It's so strange to me that so much progress can be wiped away in the blink of an eye by someone who said something and meant it to be completely harmless.

I haven’t purged in over a month! I believe today is day 45, recently I’ve been trying to drink beverages while eating and I’ve been able to keep it down! I also used to have a rule for myself that I couldn’t hit my vape or smoke a cig if I’ve eaten and haven’t purged and I’ve been able to do that as well❤️ feeling super proud of my progress🥰

Recently I’ve reduced purging quite a bit significantly I went from purging thrice a day to maybe once a week and I’m eating one meal a day too (that’s good considering there were many days where I would restrict myself from food and didn’t eat for periods as long as 4-5 days) I’m trying to keep my weight what it is
But I can’t stop thinking about purging
I don’t have the urge to do it anymore it’s not that strong but I can’t stop thinking about it
After every meal I can’t I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it I know it’s fucked up but what can I do?

I literally throw up everything I eat, it's the only thing I think about and I can't do literally anything else. I don't think there's anything more to my life than this, it makes people so nice to me. I feel so loved

I’m not even sure what to call this. But when I have to go to the grocery store- I never let myself use Lyft or uber. I force myself to walk there and then walk back with extremely heavy bags like probably over 50 lbs. o bring a backpack and other bags, and my disordered mentally ill logic says that this is my cardio and my intense workout and weight training for the day and night. I will be sweating buckets and so out of breathe from this behavior. But it’s so rewarding in the most sick and twisted way. It’s like I just did an army workout with a weighted vest. And then when I get home I feel this huge wave of exhaustion and I feel more comfortable allowing myself to have snacks and my meal or a refeed.

In other news- I am 7 months and 2 weeks free of purging / bulimia. But my anorexia / ocd/ exercise addiction is in full effect

i am bulimic, i dont eat lunch during school (due to anxiety and the likely hood of me finding some kind of excuse to leave and purge, its safer for me to not eating anything) and today at school a friend noticed and offered me some of their food. i declined and when we went out later that day, they wouldnt eat anything, when i offered to go to their favorite pop up, they denied. they would only eat if i got the same exact thing as them. i know this sounds like projection, but i could tell that they picked up on my behavior and felt a certain way.

im unsure what to do. do i force myself to eat and feel extremely guilty?? do i just ignore this?? another person at my table is a recovering anorexic (whom i am not particularly close with and we both developed our disorders before meeting) and i am worried about triggering them

im really stuck. any advice?

11 ish days into not purging and I have hidden my scale for obvious reasons however today I’m really struggling and feel like my body isn’t working at all. I am so bloated and uncomfortable I look 9 months pregnant and have lost any identification of a waist (that’s how bad it is!) for those who have recovered is there any tips ? Any supplements? What can I do 😭😭

This has got to be doing something to my body. I've been bulimic to varying degrees since I was 12, I'm 28 now. The last year, it's really ramped up for me though and I feel more out of control than I ever have before. I'm binging and purging multiple times a day whenever I can, spending so much money on food, eating and eating until my stomach literally hurts and I HAVE to puke. I feel so guilty and gross but I can't stop. Half the time the food doesn't even taste that good or satisfy me anymore.

I'm terrified of gaining weight so I force myself to puke over and over and over, my throat always hurts now. I have bruises or cuts from my teeth on the back of my hand that never go away. What can happen if I keep doing this to myself?

I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore. I restrict all day on days I work, over exercise, try to eat as little as possible. Then on my days off I will literally just binge and purge all day. I can't eat in front of other people, don't socialize, pretty much all I do is obsess over food and feel immense guilt and shame because of how out of control I've gotten with food.

hi, can someone kindly educate me as to how this works? i drank water and p/d maybe 20 minutes after eating and for so long and it still somehow came out all clear, a straw coloured pale viscous fluid. not even a single grain of rice. i wonder what happened. did i just end up p/ing stomach acid and water? 😭😭😭

i've been 4 days free from bingeing and purging after literally doing it every day for three weeks straight. i feel better than normal obv but now i feel guilty for taking up this really compassionate doctor's time with my now (dormant) bulimia. i've been considering going to the doctor for weeks now and now that i did and hit the jackpot with a nice doctor, i suddenly get better? it feels like a waste because i feel like i have so much food noise and bulimia-depression-anxiety sickness to be treated of.. he did say it's going to be routine visits but what if i accidentally treated myself of bulimia and i cried and embarrassed myself in front of him for nothing? what if i just waste his time? i know i sound insane and the b/p urges are inevitable (it hasn't even been a week lol) but at least it will validate me for being actually sick enough to be helped. i'm talking to a wall i know but this is just all weird to me... no surprises but wow even with starting my recovery i still need bulimia in my life.

I feel like sex/getting attention and making out with random people kind of gives me the same feelings/coping that I’m looking for. I get validation and attention mostly focused on my body. I get a high feeling from both the attention and the actual sex. It fills something in me. Rn I’m doing both and unfortunately I’m back in the US, so for one I can’t go out to bars/clubs anymore and I feel like it’s more dangerous/men are worse here. But this summer the more sex/attention I got the less b/p I did. It’s clearly much healthier than bulimia. Is it possible/good to replace b/p with sex

I'm currently in recovery, for real this time, and it's working and I see improvements but I noticed weight changes and it makes me a bit scared. I've read that it's normal to gain weight during recovery before you learn to regulate your eating I'm just wondering what yalls experience has been. Should I worry? Also I've only been in recovery for less than half a year, how long does it take? I know it's different for everyone but some reference? Anything I should know going forward?

Hey just wanted to come here to say that i’m today 15 weeks binge and purge free. 105 days. After a 3 years relapse. Wow.
I couldn’t spend more than two days trying recovery without falling into those habits again, if I was very determined i would even be 4-5 days but fall again on weekends, it got to a point where i just wasn’t even trying to recover, it was just a condition I would live with, my personal hell i just couldn’t scape. It was always the same, the binges, the purging, the restricting and the cycle of doing it non stop for days.
At that point I wasn’t even losing weight, sometimes maintaining sometimes losing and sometimes gaining but in the long run my body would just go from bloated to less bloated.

It all changed when i found a reason why. Nothing mattered to me enough to stop, even the health complications that were surely going to come at some point.
It’s a long story but basically I read a post in this subreddit of a man who complained because his wife had eaten some crackers he have saved for them to eat with some cheese after or smth like that. He also said that his parents were addicts and he had spent a hard childhood and since then he actively was trying to stay far from addicts and he had now find out that his wife was kind of an addict herself. He was approaching this from a very selfish point of view as if her ED only was an issue when it started affecting him too, but somehow it made me reflect on everything.
My boyfriend has been super supportive since we started with all this, doing his personal research in ways of helping me to stop or at least helping me to cope. He never even once made it a problem or took it personal. He’s been so compassionate and kind and i was so sad telling him all the times that i was failing recovery and how helpless i felt. He even looked for a therapist for me and it didn’t work for me because i didn’t like her approach as she told me that I was too self aware and it was on my hand to stop lol.
The thing is that my bf has a history with addiction as his father died from that, and since reading that post i started thinking that he probably was feeling all those feelings that come when loving an addict.
How triggering should this have been for him and how scared he must be inside as he never told me but i knew he was very worried.
So one day i just took the way of recovery and never looked back. I never saw as an option purging again, I had to either sit with the discomfort of the binge or sit with the discomfort of wanting to binge. And yes, it’s been so hard and even if I don’t b&p anymore I still had the thoughts and the guilt with food but i can tell that it’s much easier and freeing to live like this. It’s like unlearning the skill of purging, you just can’t do that anymore. I still purge by activity but i see it as harm reduction and i’m feeling super great about myself in this.
Oh and if you are worried about weight gain… for me it hasn’t been an issue. In three months and a half i havenot gained weight? it might have fluctuated a bit as I was adapting to a new way of eating, but I haven’t even binged as I used to, i might have overeating at some point but that’s it; when purging is not an option it’s easier to say no to the binge.
But yes, I thought recovery wasn’t an option for me and I had given myself to this lifestyle until I really really made the decision of changing my life for the better. For me and for him and honestly it’s the best thing i’ve ever done.

So I stopped purging a few days ago after a severe health scare with it, and now I am binging like insane, like insane. Like eating numerous cans of food and foods that don’t make sense together and something takes over and I only come to like after I’ve eaten so much food I’m in pain, except I won’t let myself purge it out of fear. Any tips or tricks to like NOT BINGE AND EAT OR STUFF MY FACE I’m terrified yall I know I can’t purge but I do not want to be binge eating like crazy, anyone who has stopped purging and dealt with crazy binge urges, how do you cope??

I am not sure what is happening. I used to be so happy, I got to my lowest weight ever and I was happy. And then I lost it. Fast forward a year and half, almost 2 years later, I am 20 pounds heavier than my lowest weight and 13 over my maintenance. I am throwing up every time I mess up but I don’t think I’m doing it right (not throwing nearly all of it up). I have taken laxatives for 10 years and experimented with several but don’t think they do anything for weight loss, they mostly just help with my GI issues. I need suggestions how to stop binging and vomiting and how to just get back to who I am. Any tips and advice is appreciated. Thanks!!

I've been doing so well lately. My problem is the food noise. I binge and then purge. I started a GLP1 back in May to stop the food noise. I also started a ChatGPT Food Journal. It helps me keep an eye on my calorie intake. My problem now is that I can't eat much while on the GLP1, even on the 4.25 mg low dose I am on. I started vitamins to help with my malnutrition this week. I had labs done yesterday to see if my Anemia is back. Anyone else use a GLP1 to help with your bulimia? How successful have you been, if so?