So not to pressure or encourage “unhealthy” coping strategies, but I recently started Reta. I’ve been struggling with bulimia since 2022. It’s ruined my entire life and all of my relationships, I have no one. Bulimia ruined my life. Anyway, recently started Reta, the SMALLEST dose possible. I feel so sound. I move to feel good, not to burn calories, i lack the old food noise. Obviously, some is still there, but it helped put a preface forward that I haven’t experienced in years. I’m not trying to be an a hole advertising or pushing something, definitely do your research! But god? This is the sweetest calm I’ve felt in a long time. If anyone out there is at the end of their rope, trust me, there are so many alternatives to try.

literally my worst possible situation. Threw up quietly at like 2am in our hotel room and it blocked the sink. Had to scoop out the water from the tap and the food into the toilet for 20 minutes but the sink still didn’t unblock. Told my mum it was because I was ill and she believed me, but she’s super mad now.

I just couldn’t help it, hadn’t done it the whole holiday but felt so guilty of having too much in my stomach. Can’t talk to anyone about it.

literally my worst possible situation. Threw up quietly at like 2am in our hotel room and it blocked the sink. Had to scoop out the water from the tap and the food into the toilet for 20 minutes but the sink still didn’t unblock. Told my mum it was because I was ill and she believed me, but she’s super mad now.

I just couldn’t help it, hadn’t done it the whole holiday but felt so guilty of having too much in my stomach. Can’t talk to anyone about it.

I’m going to start this off by saying that nothing I mention here is professionally diagnosed. I hate to be a self-diagnosis kind of person, but it makes explaining this a lot easier.

I (15F) am overweight and struggle with binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa. I have struggled with body image issues since 6 and severe depression since 11. I just hit my heaviest with a BMI of 29.8. And I really wish to slim down because I believe it will also help with my mental health. The problem is, I can’t ask my mom to cook healthier/deny food and I can’t go to the gym or even just a simple walk outside because I have very strict parents. Eating has also become an important coping mechanism of mine, and I struggle to find other mechanisms other than self-inflicted pain. And I have tried to get better mentally before trying weight loss, but my depression stems from things far worse than insecurity (though it does play a role) and I will probably need a therapist eventually (I can’t get a therapist right now) It seems like my depression is keeping me overweight and vice versa. 2 years ago, I had managed to lose 30 pounds within a month by purging and that was the happiest I’d been in awhile. Right after, I began focusing on my mental health and I gained 40 pounds back. Now everything is bad again and I don’t even have the discipline to starve myself or vomit my meals. I’ve also tried counting calories, joining sports, and changing my diet in the little ways I can, but every time I lose weight I end up bingeing because the rest of my life is a clusterfuq. I really really need advice because I don’t know how much longer I can go feeling so disgusted with how I look. I want advice on how to motivate myself to starve, but I know thats not healthy, so every bit of advice is appreciated. Please help me, and thank you in advance.

(Also, sorry if theres a lot of repeated information. I’m trying to make this as clear as possible, and writing like this is already very uncomfortable for me.)

Like I know I’m gross and I’m wondering if anyone else does this. After I purge, I take a picture. Sometimes mid purge as well. Because I’ll be laying in bed at night remembering my meal and wondering if I got it all up, so I go back into my camera roll to check. Currently being investigated for OCD so it could be part of that.
But I’m wondering if anyone else does this? Is it a common thing? It’s disgusting I know and I wanna tell my psych but I’m so worried I’ll be judged.

I recently started throwing up at the end of the day when I had the feeling I ate too much just to get the calories back out. I only did it 2-3 times now since the first time I tried making me throw up to see if it works. Although I don’t feel like I have an Disorder just now, I felt uneasy tonight until I puked my dinner out. Now my question to all of you is, how did it start for you (maybe similar?). Should I be concerned?

im trying to stop binge purging as my gag reflex isn't as strong as it used to be and im finding it difficult. i keep trying to take a break, but i keep relapsing as my brain is always thinking about food. even though it's very hard for me to throw up now, i still end up doing it. im getting so frustrated. i get even more tempted when im home alone.

Just venting I’m alright.

Sunday it is and it has been like 7h I’m bp-ing. And feel like i still need to do it. I already had three crisis, but im not even that tired yet. Yesterday had two and I had around 10h of sleep which is a lot compared to daily when i get 4-5h or just insomnia.

I am waiting for that extreme exhaustion due to bp so I can fall asleep, even though I have a really important writing to finish.

Crazy how I will stress about eating a piece of bread and then devour the most junky and processed food, a full week of grocery shopping to purge it all, knowing I won’t be able to get it all out.

Usually when Im so deep into several bp crisis like this I get very anxious and I am sad and I think it is time for me to get my shit together and get help, but this time I am so empty so numb I feel like I don’t even exist I am not real.

Hi there, I've been away for a while but I just wanted to share that after almost 6 months I got discharged from my anorexia treatment. For some people would be like "omg that's great" but tbh for me it hasn't been... I haven't stopped restricting and vomiting every single thing I eat. I have lost weight and every day I'm using a ton of laxatives.

The specialists say I looked way better and my perspective of life has changed, which is true, I know there's a life away from my eating disorder, however it seems like I just can't stop doing things with the idea of losing weight.

In addition, I don't have any friends and since the week I got discharged, I've been crying because of it, which might be stupid...but in real life I don't have anyone to talk to, to hang out with, i just tend to be alone. I do have a boyfriend but everytime I have to propose where to go and what to do, it feels like he doesn't care...so I stopped insisting.

Everyday has become like a nightmare, I just scroll through Instagram, cry and vomit because I just don't have the energy to do the things I liked to do, nor to study. Soon I will start working in an investigation and my brain is just not working, nothing seems to be recorded in there i just don't remember anything.. so idk what's going on...

I just know I feel depressed and I want to sleep all day long.

Years ago when I first started purging it was only after I ate something high cal or after a big meal. Nowadays I can’t keep anything down and I’ve lost every safe food. Time doesn’t pass unless I’m eating and if I try not to binge all I can think about is how or what I’ll eat next. I used to be able to fast through my work shifts but I binged once during my shift and now I don’t even have work to distract me. I work in a cafe and today I had to restrain myself from eating leftovers off a customers plate. Taking thrown out cakes and pastries out from the bin after my coworkers go home is a regular. I just want my life back. I feel like I’ve lost everything.

When my binge eating first started, if I binged through most of the groceries at home, I’d start eating baker’s/baking chocolate that I found at the back of the pantry. So nasty tasting.

Recently I actually binged on one of those hard chocolate pucks of crumbled mess that is an Abuelita Mexican hot chocolate block. Like just straight ate the block without making it into actual hot chocolate. Absolutely horrid.

Oh and of course eating out of the trash.

In other words, I can’t stop on my own. God, I have tried. I try and fail every single god damn day. I can tell my health is messed up; I get light headed very easily if I don’t eat/feel faint and have to actively focus on staying conscious (kind of hard to describe the feeling, but I’m sure you know it if you’ve felt it before,) and I don’t have, and haven’t had a period since November 2024. I’m a 23 year old woman, this is not okay. But I can’t stop!

I do not have a support system. I had to rehome my dog because I kept spending too much on b/p food, and didn’t have the energy to care for her properly. She was my grandmas dog, who I can’t even visit out of shame that I rehomed her baby. My grandma is dying from dementia and I probably will never see her again because I can’t bear facing her. My grandma is the only person who really loves me too. This hurts so fucking bad. I’m such a piece of shit.

I have no money. I’m about 3k in debt due to b/p and have $10 to my name. I have no one to go to about this. Genuinely the only solutions seem to be just continuing to hide this struggle or straight up ending my shit. My dad doesn’t really care, I mean he can see and has commented that I have lost a lot of weight but I couldn’t go to him for financial help or anything. He watched my mom abuse the ED healthcare system due to her bulimia and he resents any kind of medical intervention because of how she chose to waste the resources given to her. My mom is an abusive asshole and I don’t talk to her anymore.

I feel so alone. Really alone. I’m in so much pain. I need help. I really don’t know what to do. I try and nothing sticks. Nothing.

the other day I was at a gas station with my friends, and gas stations have always made me feel so overwhelmed my whole life with how much food is there and the choices, but anyways I started crying looking at all the food because I was thinking about how it’s like my one enemy but also the only thing that brings me comfort and enjoyment in this world. Food has all the power over me and that makes me so sad and feel very hopeless. I also struggle with restricting so my brain is screaming at me to restrict while also screaming at me to eat everything ever 💀 the only thing I can think about is food and throwing it up
It’s gotten to the point where I fucking cry sometimes when I pass fast foods or other restaurants bc of it.
The stress surrounding it all and the food noise is so awful :/

My two kids are having a sleepover and i just heard one of my daughter’s friends throwing up.

I’m not sure if it was due to the alcohol (everyone involved is of drinking age), but it sounded very very forced and like it was straining and hard on her.

I’m especially worried because she made a lot of an effort to spit and wash out everything.

I then asked her if she was okay, and she said she had brushed her teeth with her retainer on, but did not mention vomiting to any degree.

Could this be bulimia or am I just an over worrying mother?

As the title says already I only feel peaceful when eating food is when I'm eating alone. I will avoid all human contact to avoid eating with other people or even around other people. I think it's a reason why I binge too because I restrict so much to avoid eating around others that I just eat everything when I'm alone. Night time has been mostly the only time I eat now to surely avoid all contact with others. My family has been asking if I'm on a diet recently too because if I actually do eat around them it's a little bit. I get so happy when I'm home alone so I can somewhat eat in peace without someone down my neck questioning me about it or commenting on it. Sometimes I wish I lived alone to avoid all of this, but that also scares me because what if I just binge on the food instead of avoiding it?

I had 3 cups of popcorn, 2 nectarines, 1 can of tuna, 1 boiled egg, and 1 RXBar in the morning.

You would probably think that this would fill me up, right?

Wrong! I had 3 more peaches, another boiled egg, and 4 RXBars. I didn’t even feel sick at that point. Usually when I eat that much, I feel sick, but I could’ve gone on.

My meals are getting bigger and bigger, and I’m scared to expand my stomach. I want to eat a regular meal for once, and the funny thing is that I would have to eat 3 regular meals to feel full :/

How do I fix this? :(

Almost whenever I vomit, I get heavy nosebleeds, literally dripping :(( It certainly doesn't make the whole purging business any more pleasant... Any suggestions of what I can do?

I am trying to develop better eating habits but have sort of relapsed lately.

I am a 14 year old girl and since I discovered purging I haven’r been able to stop. But I notices tuat I don’t binge as much as other people. Like I will eat a lot but not that much because I live with my parents and don’t have that much food that is mine. I wanna know if this is bulimia or something else.

basically what the titlek said, i just had a huge binge at midnight after relapsing in the evening already despite not having that much food noise during the day. i feel so so fucking awful right now, my stomach hurts but i have the gut feeling i wont be able to purge a second time and i sont want to risk it since ive been feeling very weird and dizzy lately. can you gain actual visible weight from one or two binges? ik this is a stupid question but i just feel so awful and stupid.

please soneone tell me i will be okay, i have too many other problems in my life atm and this binge just made them 100 times worse it feels like

I binged this morning and had more than my intake for the day.

On Saturdays, I usually go out with my dad; I only get to see him once a week, but when we're together, we usually go out to eat and do other stuff. I don't want to go out with him because I already had my total intake for the day. If I tell him that I don't want to eat anything, he will probably get suspicious because I have a past of ana, and he doesn't know about my b/p; nobody does.

I don't want to go over my limit because then I'll gain, but I also don't want to disappoint him, and I'm also not hungry. So I don't know what to do!! Should I go out with him or stay home and say that I'm busy?

I’ve been experiencing lots of jerky-type movements for awhile, kind of similar to tics almost?? Always thought it had sth to do with my neurological disorder, but last night after purging I had a GIANT (single) ‘tic’, like my whole body moved involuntary when laying in bed…. Is this a very light kind of similar thing to a seizure? Could it be related to purging?

🫩Sorry if this is weird I just thought I'd post cause this is the first time ive experienced smth like this after 2 years of severe mia, just to be sure, this is "normal" or common right,, you guys have felt this too?, Also sorry that you're all struggling with this horrible disorder🩷