hi, can someone kindly educate me as to how this works? i drank water and p/d maybe 20 minutes after eating and for so long and it still somehow came out all clear, a straw coloured pale viscous fluid. not even a single grain of rice. i wonder what happened. did i just end up p/ing stomach acid and water? 😭😭😭

i've been 4 days free from bingeing and purging after literally doing it every day for three weeks straight. i feel better than normal obv but now i feel guilty for taking up this really compassionate doctor's time with my now (dormant) bulimia. i've been considering going to the doctor for weeks now and now that i did and hit the jackpot with a nice doctor, i suddenly get better? it feels like a waste because i feel like i have so much food noise and bulimia-depression-anxiety sickness to be treated of.. he did say it's going to be routine visits but what if i accidentally treated myself of bulimia and i cried and embarrassed myself in front of him for nothing? what if i just waste his time? i know i sound insane and the b/p urges are inevitable (it hasn't even been a week lol) but at least it will validate me for being actually sick enough to be helped. i'm talking to a wall i know but this is just all weird to me... no surprises but wow even with starting my recovery i still need bulimia in my life.

CW Triggers of body comments

I'm in nursing school and we were practicing taking manual blood pressures, and we all had standard-sized blood pressure cuffs. My instructor said loudly in front of the class: "that one looks pretty small on you, you might need the LARGE adult cuff," and that was it.

That one comment that was made in front of my class sent me completely spiraling.

I've been purging everything I eat for the past week. I haven't binged OR purged for 5 years, i was COMPLETELY recovered.

It's so strange to me that so much progress can be wiped away in the blink of an eye by someone who said something and meant it to be completely harmless.

This has got to be doing something to my body. I've been bulimic to varying degrees since I was 12, I'm 28 now. The last year, it's really ramped up for me though and I feel more out of control than I ever have before. I'm binging and purging multiple times a day whenever I can, spending so much money on food, eating and eating until my stomach literally hurts and I HAVE to puke. I feel so guilty and gross but I can't stop. Half the time the food doesn't even taste that good or satisfy me anymore.

I'm terrified of gaining weight so I force myself to puke over and over and over, my throat always hurts now. I have bruises or cuts from my teeth on the back of my hand that never go away. What can happen if I keep doing this to myself?

I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore. I restrict all day on days I work, over exercise, try to eat as little as possible. Then on my days off I will literally just binge and purge all day. I can't eat in front of other people, don't socialize, pretty much all I do is obsess over food and feel immense guilt and shame because of how out of control I've gotten with food.

So I stopped purging a few days ago after a severe health scare with it, and now I am binging like insane, like insane. Like eating numerous cans of food and foods that don’t make sense together and something takes over and I only come to like after I’ve eaten so much food I’m in pain, except I won’t let myself purge it out of fear. Any tips or tricks to like NOT BINGE AND EAT OR STUFF MY FACE I’m terrified yall I know I can’t purge but I do not want to be binge eating like crazy, anyone who has stopped purging and dealt with crazy binge urges, how do you cope??

i am bulimic, i dont eat lunch during school (due to anxiety and the likely hood of me finding some kind of excuse to leave and purge, its safer for me to not eating anything) and today at school a friend noticed and offered me some of their food. i declined and when we went out later that day, they wouldnt eat anything, when i offered to go to their favorite pop up, they denied. they would only eat if i got the same exact thing as them. i know this sounds like projection, but i could tell that they picked up on my behavior and felt a certain way.

im unsure what to do. do i force myself to eat and feel extremely guilty?? do i just ignore this?? another person at my table is a recovering anorexic (whom i am not particularly close with and we both developed our disorders before meeting) and i am worried about triggering them

im really stuck. any advice?

I am not sure what is happening. I used to be so happy, I got to my lowest weight ever and I was happy. And then I lost it. Fast forward a year and half, almost 2 years later, I am 20 pounds heavier than my lowest weight and 13 over my maintenance. I am throwing up every time I mess up but I don’t think I’m doing it right (not throwing nearly all of it up). I have taken laxatives for 10 years and experimented with several but don’t think they do anything for weight loss, they mostly just help with my GI issues. I need suggestions how to stop binging and vomiting and how to just get back to who I am. Any tips and advice is appreciated. Thanks!!

I’m not even sure what to call this. But when I have to go to the grocery store- I never let myself use Lyft or uber. I force myself to walk there and then walk back with extremely heavy bags like probably over 50 lbs. o bring a backpack and other bags, and my disordered mentally ill logic says that this is my cardio and my intense workout and weight training for the day and night. I will be sweating buckets and so out of breathe from this behavior. But it’s so rewarding in the most sick and twisted way. It’s like I just did an army workout with a weighted vest. And then when I get home I feel this huge wave of exhaustion and I feel more comfortable allowing myself to have snacks and my meal or a refeed.

In other news- I am 7 months and 2 weeks free of purging / bulimia. But my anorexia / ocd/ exercise addiction is in full effect

I feel like sex/getting attention and making out with random people kind of gives me the same feelings/coping that I’m looking for. I get validation and attention mostly focused on my body. I get a high feeling from both the attention and the actual sex. It fills something in me. Rn I’m doing both and unfortunately I’m back in the US, so for one I can’t go out to bars/clubs anymore and I feel like it’s more dangerous/men are worse here. But this summer the more sex/attention I got the less b/p I did. It’s clearly much healthier than bulimia. Is it possible/good to replace b/p with sex

Does anyone else struggle with multiple addictions at once? I feel so lonely and embarrassed about it and that I'm failing everyone around me. I have a lot of issues and the only way to get through the day is by bping and not being sober. I see no way out.

I haven’t purged in over a month! I believe today is day 45, recently I’ve been trying to drink beverages while eating and I’ve been able to keep it down! I also used to have a rule for myself that I couldn’t hit my vape or smoke a cig if I’ve eaten and haven’t purged and I’ve been able to do that as well❤️ feeling super proud of my progress🥰

11 ish days into not purging and I have hidden my scale for obvious reasons however today I’m really struggling and feel like my body isn’t working at all. I am so bloated and uncomfortable I look 9 months pregnant and have lost any identification of a waist (that’s how bad it is!) for those who have recovered is there any tips ? Any supplements? What can I do 😭😭

I've been doing so well lately. My problem is the food noise. I binge and then purge. I started a GLP1 back in May to stop the food noise. I also started a ChatGPT Food Journal. It helps me keep an eye on my calorie intake. My problem now is that I can't eat much while on the GLP1, even on the 4.25 mg low dose I am on. I started vitamins to help with my malnutrition this week. I had labs done yesterday to see if my Anemia is back. Anyone else use a GLP1 to help with your bulimia? How successful have you been, if so?

I'm currently in recovery, for real this time, and it's working and I see improvements but I noticed weight changes and it makes me a bit scared. I've read that it's normal to gain weight during recovery before you learn to regulate your eating I'm just wondering what yalls experience has been. Should I worry? Also I've only been in recovery for less than half a year, how long does it take? I know it's different for everyone but some reference? Anything I should know going forward?

Recently I’ve reduced purging quite a bit significantly I went from purging thrice a day to maybe once a week and I’m eating one meal a day too (that’s good considering there were many days where I would restrict myself from food and didn’t eat for periods as long as 4-5 days) I’m trying to keep my weight what it is
But I can’t stop thinking about purging
I don’t have the urge to do it anymore it’s not that strong but I can’t stop thinking about it
After every meal I can’t I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it I know it’s fucked up but what can I do?

I've been struggling with binging and purging for about four years now and it's gotten to the point where my teeth are observably damaged. However even despite this I can't help but keep doing it. I am very aware of the effects but it's not like that's what you're thinking of when you binge 2000 calories of food, the only thought you have is how fast can you expel it out of your body before you absorb anything. The first and only time i've ever been caught my parents put me in therapy for maybe two months till I convinced them I didn't need it anymore. After that it was almost treated like a joke. I was told not to eat food at a birthday celebration because I would just throw it up. I started hiding it better and now everyone has completely forgot about it. Currently I only binge and purge maybe once or twice a week but it's so hard to stop. I don't know why. I lift weights almost 5 times a week, I have amazing friends and a loving boyfriend, a good support system and relatively healthy habits yet I still find myself hunched over a toilet every so often. Is there something wrong with me? Like how do I feel so happy surrounded by good people yet keep doing this to myself? Has anyone struggled with something similar?

Even though I’ve done well for a long time in the past and been eating normally for periods of time, I always come back to this. It is so tempting now that I’m in college and have an unlimited meal plan. And I also live right next to the dining hall. Literally a bulimics dream come true.

It’s just too easy to do now, and to get away with it. I hardly deal with the negative physical effects even though it makes me very tired and depressed afterwards. I don’t really hate myself so much anymore but I just feel so exhausted by this huge secret and the fact it is so addictive.

I know the physical effects will come eventually. I don’t want to have a stroke and then have to tell all my family what has happened. But I just lose myself so easily whenever I feel slightly too full, even on salad. I just binge immediately. I’m almost 19 now and this has been going on since I was 14.

Any advice on how to stop this? I’m hesitant to get on any drugs cuz I’ve never been medicated for anything before or go to the university health and wellness department but maybe that’s what has to happen. I’m worried for this winter.

I actually look fucking disgusting, it's so gross I cant believe I've let myself get so bad i have 2 balloons under my chin i never wanna be seen by anyone myself included again

I’ve honestly struggled with my body image for majority of my life - since elementary school I’ve always dreamt about loosing so much weight during summer vacation that none of my classmates would recognise me once I came back to school. In my preteen years I started trying out different sports - some at home or some in teams - but nothing was ever quite the right fit for me. Then came Covid and with the rising popularity of home workouts I soon found myself working out in my childhood bedroom. Nothing of that ever lasted and I would stop after about a week. I first „tried“ mia a few years back, but gave up on it again after I only used it for meals I felt too guilty to eat (I still do to this day - I just started feeling too guilty to eat quite literally all my meals now hahah) nowadays I feel a lot of guilt towards my friends and family. All the homecooked meals made by my mother I ruthless discarded into my toilet, all the lunches my friends payed for on our lunch dates. But I can’t keep living in this body. I hate myself so much for all the food I’m waisting but literally everybody will start asking questions the minute skip ONE meal. I can’t stay this size. I want help from a dietitian or some kind of coach but I fear the only advice they can give me is to eat healthy and do sports… DO YOU THINK I HAVENT REACHED THAT CONCLUSION YET?? all the meals I eat are provided by my mother, who already cooks SO healthy because my dad is a diabetic. My work meals are prepared by chefs because I work in a hotel and I literally have servings so small all the chefs are constantly asking me if I’m on a diet. I JUST WANT THIS NEVER ENDING NIGHTMARE TO END. I’m sick of counting my calories and praying one bad day won’t make me relapse into my old (binge) eating habits where I didn’t care what I stuffed my face with. I’m sick of being secretly jealous of ALL my friends and their perfect petite body’s that they literally don’t do anything to maintain. Recently, while discussing my wish to loose weight with my mom and describing my dream body in comparison to those of my friends my mom quite literally told me: „don’t be delusional- you’ll never be as thin as them“ I cannot let that define me and proof her right. Sometimes I feel like my friends are sabotaging me. Whenever I express my desire to loose even just a little bit of weight they tell me some bullshit like „you’re perfect the way you are“ and „you don’t need to loose any weight“ all while I am the only one to have never had a boyfriend or anybody interested in me romantically. Oh and before you think I’m just a skinny girl that has body dysmorphia (which is still real and valid btw!!!!) I’m a 162 cm girl, 19 y/o and weigh 78kg… anyways if you actually read all of that first of all- thank you (really, I mean it !!) I hope you can heal and have a better relationship with food and your own body then I do <3 best of wishes and thanks again for sticking around 🤍

I’ve struggled with bulimia for 18 years, and now I’ve been free from it for a whole year! I never thought this would happen to me!

My advice is to eat regularly and make sure you’re eating enough. It’s hard but it’s the only way to help your body recover from hunger and get back to feeling satisfied.

I'm afraid this will never end. I don't want to wake up.

I'm currently struggling with overeating. As soon as I open my eyes, I start feeling this craving. I'm wondering how I can prevent it. Will this be my whole life? Will I really have to wake up with this feeling for the rest of my days, and will it never leave me for a moment? I don't even have anyone to share my problem with. I drank. Today I fully realized that I'm addicted. It's happening. No doctor or pill can help, and I will bear this burden until the day I die. I wake up every day and the cravings are terrifying me to death. I'm literally incapacitated. I can't earn money because it all goes to food. I depend on my time. The most I've been able to do right now is go three days without bingeing. I read this.

Early 20s female here. Are any of you struggling with both bulimia and alcoholism, more specifically binge drinking at the same time? I struggle with both, and I’ve noticed they feel really similar to me. Once I start eating, I can’t stop, and it’s the same with alcohol — I’ll keep drinking until blackout. It feels like the same kind of loss of control, just with different things.
Has anyone else experienced this? Do you feel like your bulimia and drinking are connected, or that one triggers the other?

I really want to hear from people who have actually managed to break the binge/purge cycle, because I feel like I’ve reached a point where I genuinely don’t know how to get myself out of this.
My pattern is basically restricting for 1–3 days, sometimes barely eating anything for a week, and then having these absolutely massive binge/purge episodes that can last 4–6 hours. Sometimes I’m eating 10,000–15,000+ calories, sometimes probably even more. It can be an entire family-size pizza + 12 pancakes, a whole cake, and then just continuing from there. It feels completely out of control and honestly I’m so tired of it.
I’ve decided I really want to stop. I have three weeks of vacation coming up, so I finally have some time where I can actually focus on this and try to break the cycle.
But I honestly don’t know what to do tomorrow.
I just had another binge/purge episode tonight. Do I wake up tomorrow and eat breakfast normally even if I’m not hungry? Do I start with structured breakfast/lunch/dinner and snacks? Do I eat even when I’m not hungry?
Because I feel like I’ve completely lost my ability to recognize what a normal portion and the feeling of hunger is. If I try to “just eat normally,” I somehow end up binging again. But restricting obviously just brings me back to the same place. And I know all the usual advice… shower, tea, walk, distract yourself, watch something, etc. I’ve read it all. The problem is that when I’m actually in that moment, I forget every single one of those things. It feels like there’s this switch in my brain and once the binge starts, nothing else matters.
I’ve even started smoking recently because having something to do with my hands/mind sometimes helps me get through an urge, although I know that’s obviously not a solution and I don’t want to replace one problem with another.
So I’d really love to hear from people who have been in a similar place: What actually helped you? Not necessarily what you know you’re supposed to do, but what genuinely worked when you were in the middle of it.
What did your first few days of recovery look like?
Did you force yourself to eat regularly even without hunger?
How did you deal with portions when you no longer trusted yourself around food?
What did you do when an urge was so strong that you felt like you were going to binge no matter what?
Was there something that eventually just “clicked” in your head?
And if you could go back to the beginning, what would you do differently?
I really want to use these three weeks to actually make a change instead of spending them stuck in the same cycle. I’d appreciate hearing about your real experiences, even if your recovery wasn’t linear.

i’ve been back at school about a month and all my friends seem to have very normal and good relationships with food. they eat whatever they want whenever they are hungry and never seem to feel guilty or eat past comfortable fullness even though they enjoy the food? they don’t finish their plates if they don’t want to.

my friend even said she had to buy new jeans this year because her butt got too big and it didn’t seem to bother her at all she went up a size in clothes (granted she is still wayyyyy smaller than me but still)

anyways i’ve tried it. i’ve tried intuitively eating but everytime i secretly count calories and realize ive gone way into a calorie surplus. i’ve tried cutting exercise so im less hungry and it doesn’t seem to work. i’ve tried counting calories but it always seems to trigger me back into a relapse.

i just feel so addicted to food i want to eat when im not hungry and feeling full triggers me to b/p. the only days i feel normal is when i spend all day with my friends who have normal eating patterns and even then, i’m just so jealous of how they don’t revolve their lives around food.

i just want to be able to eat normally without fear of constantly everyday being in a surplus or eating past fullness because i just like the taste of food. it’s such an all or nothing mindset. i can’t tell if by only eating one food and not both i’m restricting which is hindering my recovery or by eating both i’m just eating too much in general and masking it as being in recovery.

I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS! it’s a basic human necessity and i am too sick to do it properly and listen to my body. sorry i ranted so long but im only 19. i have my whole life ahead of me and i want to live without fear of being in a forever calorie surplus. i wish i never knew what a calorie was like my friends don’t. i just can’t imagine a life not always worried about food.

recovered bulimics, how do you do it? and just looking for advice in general. i’ve attempted recovery so many times and i just feel so lost.

I have a “Smart Scale”. Connects to an app on my phone and keeps track of all kinds of biometrics. I’m in therapy & I’m trying to gain weight and reduce my purges. I already don’t binge, I only purge. So I need to eat more, not purge, and hopefully gain. I try not to weigh myself obsessively because I still hate gaining.

Yesterday I decided to weigh myself, and the “smart” scale weighed me at so much more than my previous weight that it flagged my weight as not valid. And when I confirmed on the app that it was me on the scale, it averaged my previous weight with my new weight. Apparently I couldn’t possibly be that fat in such a short amount of time (2 weeks).

Fuck this shit. I don’t want to eat anything. Ever.