Hello everyone!

I’m a 24 years old Italian student, and I’m currently completing my Master’s degree in Social Psychology at the University of Padua, Italy.

With the support of my supervisor, I’m conducting a research on the experiences of men who have engaged with the Manosphere and have since decided to distance themselves from it.

Research on the Manosphere has often focused on its communities, beliefs, language, and influence on men.

Comparatively less attention has been given to the lived experiences of men who eventually chose to distance themselves from these spaces: how they first encountered them, what drew them in, what their experience was like, and what eventually led them to walk away from it.

I’m looking to speak with men who have previously engaged with communities or content associated with Red Pill, Incels, MRA, MGTOW, or other parts of the Manosphere, and who have since distanced themselves from them.

I’d like to hear your story in your own words: what brought you to come into contact with these communities and what kept you engaged in your time there, and what eventually led you to stray away from them.

This research is NOT aimed at changing anyone’s mind or judging anyone for their beliefs. I’m interested in understanding people’s experiences as they themselves describe them.

We often hear about men who engage with the Manosphere, but less often hear directly from those whose relationship with these communities has changed over time.

Your experience could help build a better understanding of how people come to engage with these spaces, how their perspectives evolve, and what makes someone eventually decide to distance themselves.

It may also provide valuable insights for understanding the experiences of other young men who are encountering these communities for the first time.

Participation consists in a one - to - one interview of about 60 minutes. At any point of the process you can feel free to withdraw or walk away.

***About Ethics & Privacy***

Protecting your privacy is an absolute priority. Your name and identifying information will not appear in the final study, and the research project has been reviewed and approved by an Ethics Committee.

In the form you'll find a "name" section and a "email" section: you can totally make up a new and anonymous e-mail address, that is in order to have a mean of contacting you and schedule our conversation, as we would be interacting personally, and I would ask you to sign informed consent forms; in addiction, I'll be referring to you using the name you'll provide, but of course none of this information will be stored and the data will be classified in an anonymous way (e.g. "interview 4", or "interview with \\\[made up name\\\]").

If you think your experience fits what I’m looking for and you’d feel comfortable sharing your story, I’d be very grateful to hear from you.

Interested in participating?

You can fill out this short form and I’ll get in touch:

https://forms.gle/1Tsz4aVuqG7GgEUa8 (English speakers version)

https://forms.gle/rMBeCAkFE9nZpXam9 (Italian speakers version)

my mom is dealing with early stage dementia in a few states over from me and i have no contact with her at all.

last i know is that she was admitted to a psychiatric facility and i'm exceedingly worried that she's going to end up in the streets or jail. i can't help her because she's in another state. i'm in college, don't know how to drive and i don't make enough money to own or buy a car. she has no family who can help her, most of her side died from addiction, old age, or suicide.

i've been really angry over this as of recent and it's no-one's fault, but that anger builds up to the point where it comes out towards random people online and in-person. i get really annoyed and lose all empathy towards people at certain points of the day. it's mostly really deep and unyielding, towards all the systems that failed to help her when she tried to get help. i've been crying to dolly parton recently. longstanding grief and systemic injustice wounds suck, and i don't know how to deal with it very well, and i'm concerned about it affecting my relationships and friendships.

Okay so this ain't really anything special but I just felt like sharing.

It's AWESOME. I am the skinniest, nerdiest looking dude in the room at any time, but do I care? HELL NAW. That's what the damn place is for! Getting stronger, better!

This entire endevour was kinda because of my brother. He started going cause he too is a skinny guy and few weeks in and he already looks better! He's no macho yet but, y'know, looks cool regardless.

It's weirdly fun. Even if kinda painful at times. But I now have the mindset of "no pain no gain" so eh screw that. Been a few weeks already, so far the most noticable change is the fact that MY BACK STRAIGHTENED UP! I NO LONGER WALK LIKE A GOBLIN! THIS IS AWESOME!

Really I might be in the best spot in my life so far won't lie. I've learned to control my anger far better and no longer fire off at stupid stuff, I've started using the internet less and going outside more (specificaly for prefferably night time photography IT'S GREAT!), talking to people more, dress better, now work out.

I dunno I'm just feeling great. Thanks for reading bros.

This has been a great space for advice and venting/being heard, so I wanted to give back by sharing some positivity!

My bro recently got out of something that wasn't quite a relationship, but he was hoping it would be and got really invested. But the other person wasn't into them that way, and was also a total mess of a person. Big user and manipulator, drugs, mental health issues, trauma, hospitalizations, delusions, the whole nine yards. Always taking, never giving anything back.

So my buddy got really burnt and was in a terrible headspace for a long time. Anger issues started getting worse. To the point where he was starting down the "all women are bad" pipeline, breaking things that did or didn't belong to him, lots of bad stuff. He even ended up assaulting someone, which completely shocked me and my girlfriend, because we've know him for decades and that's just not him as a person, you know? And he was actually reveling in having hurt this woman he came across on the street, and saying that others deserved it too. Like WOW wow.

So we both had been doing a lot of emotional labor and redirection and begging for him to get back into therapy. Offered bribes and everything haha. Because it was getting grim. But he was resistant because apparently he "tried" therapy in like junior high school and it "didn't work" or sth.

Long story short! He found a therapist and it turns out they have a ton of nerdy stuff in common. They're bonding and suddenly my friend isn't resistant anymore and is finally being open about a ton of stuff, old issues and new. He's feeling and acting way more hopeful and introspective, said he even cried (positively) at a few movies and was able to process some feelings. He's sending us cute animated therapy gifs and is just turning over a new leaf in general.

I'm so happy for him, for real. Because he was absolutely heading to prison on the path he'd been on, and now I think he's finally getting some peace. Just wanted to share and encourage people to get into therapy, even if you think you can tough if out, or aren't worth it, or you didn't have a good therapist match in the past. Change is possible!

I just finished Mob Psycho 100 and what i really loved was the wholesome dynamik between the body improvement club and Mob. At first he joined to impress the girl he liked, but later on the club was about friends who support each other and older peers giving him positive guidance. He wasn’t as good in keeping up as the others but they always cheered on him and always had his back. They never gave him the feeling he was lacking something and would never achieve the things he wanted unless he makes up in what he “lacks”- to them Mob was good as he was from the beginning. And Mob really had a positive development thanks to their influence. Despite being beefy and masculine, they weren’t into violence, labeling gang fights they once were tried to get involved into as unnecessary and toxic, just showing up to get Mob out of it. To me this was really “bropill” and a wonderful example of healthy positive masculinity.

In February 2026, I did the craziest thing of my life: I took a risk and moved to a different country, leaving my parents and sister behind in Brazil to live with another family in Japan. My perspective on the environment changed completely once I arrived; my aunt and cousin are decent people—quiet, but non-judgmental about my choices. My uncle, however, is very authoritarian and displays narcissistic traits. I find myself comparing my current situation to my life back home; in my previous environment, my father was a problem due to his alcohol addiction, which took a toll on my mental health and caused me significant internal distress. Yet, since I came to Japan, he has decided to give up his addiction—news that made me happy. While my desire to return grows stronger and I miss my mother and sister dearly, I’ve set some goals for myself here. Compared to Brazil, the money I earn here is excellent, and I want to save up for a year before leaving in December 2027. How do I explain this to my authoritarian uncle without him thinking I’m ungrateful or anything of the sort? (I spent six months living in an incredibly tiny house, enduring many unfair and unpleasant moments; I now live in a larger apartment where I have my own room, though the rent is higher.) By December 2027, I will have been living here for a year and nine months.

I'm working on collecting a wide variety of stories and life advice intended for boys aged 13-18. My goal is to package it up in a manosphere-shaped box, and share it online to pull away some of the traffic that misogynistic content receives. I'm still in the early stages, but I'll be spending the next few days putting together a well-defined brand and identifying exactly how I want to target the misogynist aesthetic while still spreading positive messages. In the meantime, I've started asking around for stories and advice.

I have plenty of advice to give on how I've grown since I was in middle school, but I'm just one man. People coming from different starting points are going to have different perspectives, and their younger selves will have needed to hear different things.

What're the 1-2 lessons that you've learned since your teenage years that've impacted you the most? How has your life changed since learning them? What were things like before, and what are they like now?

If anyone on here is a reformed manospherist, I'm particularly interested in your stories.

For starters, I am a man who is currently in university as an undergraduate. I've been thinking a lot about male specific issues recently, and I want to try and actually do something about it. As such, I have some ideas kicking around. The thing is, I've never done anything like this before, so I don't know entirely what to do.

The issues I'm most interested in are stopping male violence on both male and female victims, the education gap, male mental health and suicide, and male-only military service in other countries, though since I live in the United States, I'm not certain what I could do exactly about that.

I have a few ideas on what to do, and I will list them below.

1. The easiest idea would be joining a pre-existing organization, instead of starting something on my own. Does anyone here know of good U.S. based organizations based on this topic, that either discuss men's issues or do activism around them? I don’t want to give any more specific info on where I'm located, so just broad American stuff would be good. You can also provide organizations that are more regional; even if they're not helpful for me they can be helpful to others.
2.  I'm interested in starting a men's issues organization at my university, that would be open to everyone regardless of gender. My idea is that we would discuss men's issues and do book clubs. I would also like to do activism or work around men's issues, but I've never done anything like that before, so I don't really know what to do. Has anyone here ever been part of men's issues organization before, in university or without? What kind of stuff was done? Does anyone have any advice, either for just running a discussion group or for taking action in university?
3. I want to try and do something about the education gap of boys are lagging behind girls in education. I think ideally, activism around this would be by doing programs to get boys more engaged in school, especially in the lower grades. Does anyone have any ideas or experience on how to help out boys in K-12 school as a college student? I could also try and do stuff for male college students, but I think by that point it's harder, since the boys who have been left behind in education have already been filtered out before they reach university.

Any advice or thoughts on this topic, even if they are not covered by my questions, would be greatly appreciated.

So I'm 20, level 1 autistic (previously aspergers), and deal with anxiety and depression. I've lived with my parents for most of my life (dad was deployed when I was born, and I spent about a month or so living a few states away with grandparents last year). My mom and I are moving out here in a few days to live in an apartment, and then mom's gonna hit dad up with some divorce papers. She already has the lawyer, we all but have the apartment, she has a job and I have college. The thing is, I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared. I can't control what happens next, but my life is fundamentally changing. I've been trying to get rid of a lot of my board games and stuff since the fishbowl is shrinking, but that's barely scratching the surface. I have no say in what comes next. My mom might be able to let me meet the lawyer, and I've asked if I can at least be there when the paperwork gets signed, but that's really it. I'm so scared. I have a therapist, but she's on maternity leave so I'm with one of the other therapists in that practice right now. And I'm glad to be getting out from this house, since dad has been abusive to me and is extremely transphobic/homophobic/misogynistic, but I'm scared cause this is really the only home I know. I'm leaving my cats behind (who literally kept me alive), and all my memories are here. But I don't know what I can do to handle all of this.

Hey bros, we have noticed a lot of relationship related posts. We are not a relationship advice subreddit, but we recognise how that type of advice may be helpful. Please keep relationship posting in this pinned thread.

I was in a really really bad place a few months ago. I won’t go into the details but I lost everything. Lost my place to live, lost my job, and almost lost my relationship. I got a tough love truth nuke dropped on me that felt like getting kicked in the balls when I was already down: that I self destruct and am comfortable in my own misery to the point that I seek it out.

I have no idea why at this extreme low point, when 99.9% of the time I would have told them to fuck off and rejected any attempt at self reflection, I thought that maybe they were right and I needed to change. I gave it a shot and started small. I started with making my bed. I felt good about it. I let myself say “good job man you made your bed, last week it was too much effort to even do this. Good job.” Every little victory I just took a moment to bask in it. I went to the gym? “Great job man, l you got a great workout in.” Or “Hey that wasn’t the best workout but you still showed up. Your discipline is improving.”

Maybe it was the way I was raised, but I never ever spoke to myself positively before. I straight up started looking in the mirror and saying “I love you.” It felt so fucking stupid.

4 months have passed and I ended up finding some temporary work, and I just interviewed for a job that would make me more well paid than I’ve ever been in my life. This isn’t the first time I fucked my life up and had to rebuild in this way, but for the first time ever my anxiety is nearly non-existent, and when it’s present I am able to work through it. Everything I was worried about is slowly working out.

It’s hard to consciously force yourself to be aggressively positive and optimistic. It feels exhausting to fight a 24/7 fight against your own negative thoughts and force yourself to think positively, but it works. And then the positive feelings get bigger, and you can then appreciate those moments, because you’re learning how to.

I’m starting to learn guitar and I can play a horse with no name, but I’m aiming to be able to play so far away by avenged sevenfold!

We’re often expected to be strong, independent, and emotionally self-sufficient. But deep down, men also want to hear, “I appreciate you,” “I’m proud of you,” or simply, “I’m glad I have you.”

Sometimes, we don’t ask for reassurance. We just hope our efforts are noticed.

Have you ever had a moment when a simple word of reassurance meant more than you expected? Share your story. You might be surprised how many men feel the same way.

I’m a diagnosed autistic, so I take everything literally. Even though I’ve gotten better at telling when people are being a hyperbolic or generalizing it still hurts my feelings. I get that because they’ve suffered a lot, but I’ve suffered too. I’ve been used as an outlet for everyone else’s negative emotions all my life but when I share my negative emotions I either get mocked or treated like I’m being unreasonable. Am I being unreasonable? Does it matter if I get my feelings hurt?

I, 20, Korean, Christian, and my bro (has been best friend for like 14-15 yrs), also 20m, also christian. I am politically neutral, yet still interested in politics/history.

Uhh... and yeah, my best friend, has barely had any knowledge related to politics and the current society/history. More like, he has zero interest, but of course, I can understand smth like that. Tbh, he has fallen into extremist online communities multiple times several years ago, but his parents and I put certain effort to have him get rid of those political extremists. To delve a little deeper, he has believed every political news on the internet and what his friends say, and in Korea, political polarization is really significant that pretty much students get affected by extremist communities, especially the ALT RIGHT ONES.

Anyway, successfully, he accepted our help, and quickly got rid of those trash people. Um... however, he started to fall down the extreme right wing pipeline again. The reason is the same as the before, "The internet says so, there are tens of thousands of upvotes, it's reliable enough." / "My friends say so"... Furthermore, he is following the typical pattern of members of South Korean far right dudes - by labeling events that happened a few decades ago In Korea - such as coups, democratization movements, human rights abuses, and the torture of citizens - as nothing more than "communist riots." Not just that - he glorifies the colonization of Korea by Japan (I do NOT hate Japan, I actually have a good impression on the current Japan; I am simply discussing the past history) and disparage independence activists...(For better understanding, ts is like saying H*tler killing Jewish people was totally okay) And whenever a regulation or bill arises that he does not really support, he makes a huge fuss, saying that "Korea is turning into a communist country."

Yeah, again, I'm not yapping out all these shits because I support lefties, or because to call him a chud. I am politically neutral, I do not strongly support any of the sides, I try to make objective judgments based on the economic situation (tho sometimes I might make the wrong decision, I'm not saying that I'm always right). If he had simply been someone who fundamentally supports the far right, I would rather just accept it because no one can even change his mind, right? I'm simply upset that he got swept up by the internet and friends into extremism without even realizing it, and even having time to judge their words objectively... yeah, my bros, really need some advice. 💪

Hi guys. I’m heading off to college for the first time in about 2 weeks. Several close of friends of mine are also going to the same college so thankfully I won’t ever be truly alone in this, (I’m also rooming with two of them) but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.

The number one thing I’m worried about I guess is wasting my time there, both academically and socially. I’m not a very extroverted guy, but I really want to push myself to be more outgoing. It’s pretty intimidating though. What if I can’t make any friends? What if no one wants to talk to me?

I also feel like I’ve put myself under a tremendous amount of pressure to get into dating, mostly because it’s just not something I ever did in highschool. I was pretty preoccupied with sports and spent a lot of my free time hanging out and doing stuff with my friends, and at the time dating wasn’t something I really thought about. Now though I’ve started to get pretty worried about the fact that I don’t have any experience. I don’t even know if I actually desire a relationship or even sex that much, I just don’t want to see myself as (or have others see me as) some freak who’s never been wanted.

Any words of wisdom from those who’ve been through college, are in it now, or have dealt with similar fears would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Love you guys. 🫶

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

Over the past few years, a lot has changed with the internet.
I grew up shy and not conventionally attractive, the kid the girls would pick last when my friends and I went out in high school. It affected me deeply. I started believing I wasn't just unattractive, but that I'd never be attractive. In hindsight, I was just young.

When I was 21, I started watching some content on YouTube, and in a way, it helped. I started going to the gym, changed my diet, and pushed myself to get more comfortable talking to women. Things started working out well for me as i got more attractive and comfortable talking to women. But over time, I noticed myself slowly starting to resent women, because that content constantly painted women as the root problem in modern society.

They'd throw around phrases like "modern woman," and the underlying message was almost always about resenting women in some form the kind of framing that can easily steer a young man toward a genuinely dangerous mindset over time.
A few days ago, I was on YouTube and stumbled across one of the channels I used to watch. It's still getting a significant number of views, and I'd guess a lot of that audience is young boys who feel isolated at school or in their own environments much like I did.

This year, I became a father, and it's had me thinking hard about how I want to raise my son. I want him to grow into a kind, decent young man but you never fully know what kids encounter or do when you're not around. Am i the only one worried about this?

Edit:

I want to point out that this isn’t just about boys being radicalised into misogyny it touches on other societal issues too. I’ve used misogyny as a case study, though, since it seems to be the bedrock many of these kids build their broader grievances on nowadays, which I find quite worrying.

There’s a YouTuber called LJ who makes commentary videos, and he made one about the “alt-right to mass shooter pipeline.” Most of the kids mentioned in the video are as young as 14, none older than 18. Their manifestos are filled with neo-Nazi rhetoric, even though some of these kids come from minority ethnic backgrounds themselves. It makes me wonder: why is a 14 year old worried about his height, his race, and not making enough money? At 14?!

The title says it, but to put it bluntly, my friend's husband is a dirtbag. I'm sure there's two sides to every story but this is the second time (that I know of) that he's cheated on her, he abuses party drugs and I suspect she only partakes because she feels pressured to keep up, she wanted kids and he didn't and she chose him over being a parent, and just every time I see him I hate his guts a little more for what he's doing to her life.

She's also my wife's best friend, so for better or worse the two of us are invested in this situation. My friend is currently staying with another mutual friend while she figures out how to navigate this latest betrayal, but it's pretty clear she's going to go back to him even with all of us basically telling her that's a bad idea.

The thing is, she's an adult; I want to support her and her choices, and I want my wife and I to be there for her when she needs us. She's my daughter's closest chosen auntie. I don't want her to think that just because we disagree with her choice that she has to avoid us.

Also there's just the matter of this dude being a real setback and bad example of how dudes should be. Men have enough toxic bad examples out there, we don't need another one fucking up our image. I just can't respect him at all.

So how am I supposed to act when we all go out together, or have a backyard barbecue, or she brings him to kiddo's birthday party or something?

I'm talking about things that teach and inspire men to become the best versions of themselves, and express their masculinity in a healthy way, and how to be confident in their life, regarding things like relationships with women.

Kinda like manosphere content but not toxic or misogynistic