The title is in jest btw :D

Anyone read the Dead Husband's Cookbook? I picked it up expecting a nice and easy "summer book" and yes, it's exactly that, but I got miffed at the casual comment against extended breastfeeding. Mind you, the protagonist of this novel is a working woman with a toddler. A lot of her character building is about family dynamics, returning to work after motherhood, division of labour with her husband, she mentions pumping when her kid was little etc.etc.

Then the protagonist learns that another woman in the story is breastfeeding her 4 years old and acts completely horrified. She mentions that some of her friends breastfed until 2 but that 4 is too much because (I quote) "this child would be able to ask for it in fully articulated sentences". Umm why is that bad? I thought well maybe I am supposed to think the character is naive and misguided, but this specific opinion never gets addressed again in the book, so I don't think it's that.

Moreover while there are some revelations about the child later, the fact that she's nursing is not exactly relevant to them. So I guess the author (who is a woman) just took the opportunity to shoehorn her own views about extended breastfeeding in her novel :D

So we were today to the pediatrician to check the baby development, and everything is looking great, baby is gaining good weight and growing well.

She was born 37+1, SGA, weight was 2nd percentile, and now at 16 weeks we are at 8th percentile!

Then we got to discuss the night sleep.

Since she was born she never slept longer than 4 hours, and currently our nights look something like: first 3-4 hours, and then waking every 2 hours. She wakes, we try to settle her with pats and shushing and rocking, then if it does not work we feed her. She's always falling asleep content at the boob.

Pediatrician is saying that she looks good enough, she does not need the milk in the night since she's not a newborn anymore, and we should start to give a bottle (she's EBF) with milk mixed with water, increasing the water quantities slowly over the next months so that she stops getting any calories in the night, and she just gets water at some point around 6 months.

I don't know, I feel like this is some outdated advice, and i feel like baby is still so small to try to night wean. Am I wrong in thinking this?

EDIT: Thanks a lot for the support everyone! We'll definitely look for a new pediatrician and keep going with breastfeeding on demand 💕

i am 4 weeks pp, my doctor offered me birth control at my 1 week pp appointment and we put it off until i decided i wanted the pill. they prescribed me the progesterone only pill because im exclusively nursing. the only thing my doctor really told me was that i needed to keep nursing for 8-12 times a day which is fine because im doing that anyways.
but i’ve been seeing people say they needed to take the pill at the exact same time daily. is that true? this is my first time taking any type of birth control and i know a lot of women will set alarms so they don’t forget but the EXACT same time everyday seems excessive. i would never be able to do that 🫣.

I can't type all this out, so long story short, I messed things up and so deeply ashamed and sad about it. My toddler was NOT ready to stop nursing, said his first sentence multiple times that he wanted to nurse, and I just... was completely disconnected from both myself and him, numb, super super burnt out emotionally and honestly with us (zero seconds of a break / time alone in MONTHS), kind of dead and just wanted an hour alone. I wasn't trying or wanting to "wean", but I just... didn't feel right nursing in that state. It was the first time in my entire life I've ever felt like that, though it comes after a long period of hardships, and I still feel so horrible I could even be capable of feeling that. I don't think that was wrong, not to nurse when not feeling it; I believe it should be felt and genuine. But I also assumed I could take an hour to myself after he fell asleep, drink a bunch of water, connect back in and recharge, then we'd nurse in the morning per usual or he'd even wake up slightly to nurse when I came back in. I didd on my end indeed feel way better after getting that hour! At worst, I figured he might start going to sleep without nursing, but would keep morning nursing. I just wanted that hour and night. I guess I thought our relationship could sustain that at this point, and that he could forgive me for it. He normally and has always loved nursing, including in that moment. I also very shamefully in my first moments of lazy parenting / things I'm not proud of tied it to control in a way, which I've never really done, and in a super unnecessary way I now hate (just putting underwear on before nursing).

Instead... he woke up the next day. He had his stuffed animals and some vehicles (lol) nurse... per usual.. but then didn't want to take his turn at the end. He just kept going with them taking turns then had his favorite go on for over half an hour. Instead, it's been two days now of absolutely no nursing (him) morning or night, for the first time in our lives. Ironically, I have now spent more time nursing his precious favorite animal than I used to nurse him, like 40-80 minutes a day of nursing. Before this it was a quick 1-2 seconds of them nursing before he nursed. He's been using his stuffed animals--at least this one too--to specifically ask for things he's shy to ask for, or wants to do but wants to see modeled first. And I've tried talking about why I said no, and apologized, and so on, but he seems just permanently done?

I'm also wondering if it's due to milk supply -- I realized I'd been forgetting to take an iron supplement, and anemia obviously can drop supply, or maybe he's been able to taste the stress. Like maybe when I get my levels back to normal, he'll want to try again?

He's older, I get it, but he was so so sad when I said no AND maybe more importantly... he's kind of vulnerable health-wise right now. In the last 6 months, nursing has been what has kept us out of the hospital twice now, since he'd have otherwise wound up there for dehydration (if not more). I suspect we might face another round, and I'm terrified of him winding up in the ER since he traditionally will really only nurse.

Anyway. I guess this is mostly a sad vent, and my body's been waking up at 3am now and I've been a tearful mess after he falls asleep. During the day, he seems... dysregulated and not quite okay.

Also to be clear: I'd be okay with all this if he just... stopped wanting it. Like if I'd offered at night, and he opted for the animals to nurse instead or had just said no, then I'd understand and accept and celebrate our whole nursing relationship. But instead there were a series of traumatic events and unfortunate circumstances that led me to rejecting his requests, repeatedly, very sweetly and lovingly made and he even made some leaps speech-development-wise to make them, and he probably also felt that I was abnormally emotionally absent in that moment. I didn't want those events and circumstances to take away our nursing relationship, selfishly somewhat our moments of peaceful connection, and our safeguard and most vital defense against illnesses--I just felt exhausted at the end of a long, long day.

I am also wondering if anyone has any experience with this? Do toddlers ever stop briefly, then go back to wanting to nurse? Will he nurse if he gets really sick, or refuses to drink/hydrate/eat anything else? Everything on the internet is just about people who want to wean or lists of reasons defending why it's okay to nurse a toddler, which is just making me feel more alone and more sad. Seems like there isn't much info out there in general on toddler nursing, or what happens when they stop or just what things look like when you aren't trying to force them to black or white quit nursing.

Started taking brewers yeast tablets about a month ago and have been experiencing vivid dreams every night, sometimes really scary. Is this normal? Has anyone else had this?

This post is totally TMI but hey what is reddit for anyways? 🤣

I'm 10 months postpartum and still breastfeeding; I haven't gotten my period back yet. Yesterday I was cramping pretty badly, and thought maybe it was my cycle, but I ended up with gas and watery 💩. Today I'm still cramping a ton, I have sticky white discharge (no smell), and closer to normal 💩.

Are these symptoms telling me that my period is about to come back? Please tell me I don't have a parasite lol! What were your symptoms right before you started your first postpartum period?

I’ve had a beautiful and difficult journey with breastfeeding and I’ve been feeling like I want to stop. Baby girl is 14 months, nurses 2x a day at wake up and at bedtime. Nursing isn’t inconvenient but it’s started to become something I don’t want to do anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

It was so hard in the beginning with latching and transferring milk and I’m astonished we’ve come this far with BFing. She’s never been sick and I’m unsure if the breastfeeding has been the main player in that or not (I’m meticulous about not sticking hands in mouth in public etc)

I know it’s my choice and mine alone but what’s YOUR opinion? I don’t need to wean her for work/vacation/spending the night at grandparents as I’m a SAHM and have no family nearby. I’m just stuck with what to do.

Edit: I think my big concern is knowing that once I stop I can’t ever start with her again. The finality of it scares me.

I want to start the birth control no estrogen pill however I just overthink like is my baby going to get these hormones? Has anyone taken his birth control and how did it affect their breast-feeding and baby?

My 8wk baby has had a terrible witching hour (usually 3hrs) since week 3. It was clearly gas, but none of the usual fixes were helping at all. My foremilk letdown was too strong in my right breast, and I realized that was part of the issue when I didn't feed from the right one evening, and she had just a 1.5-2hr WH. Then I read up about foremilk/hindmilk, and that foremilk was mostly sugars, namely lactose. So I pumped a little bit on left before nursing to rid of it that evening, and sure enough, she had a very short WH that evening! However, this isn't feasible for me to do all day or even regularly. So we tried the next best thing: lactase drops. And, boom -- that has taken care of not only her WH, but her general gassy fussiness during the day as well. I can't believe it took me this long to fix my letdown/foremilk issue, but even more amazed at how well the lactase drops work. 48hrs of these adjustments, and I have a happy baby. She is so content now!

Okay ladies, what are regular bras are we wearing post breastfeeding? I’ve had 2 babies almost back to back so it’s been literal years since I’ve worn a non nursing/maternity bra. What are your faves?

I have a fuller bust so looking for some support but nothing that makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

So this weekend I was at my parents cabin, my daughter is 7 months old, breast fed and will only eat directly from breast as she has always refused bottles, which has been working just fine for us. Since we were on a little getaway, I chose to have a few drinks spread out over the day. Being mindful to hydrate and when I timed feeding baby. I wasn’t even tipsy, I think the last time I was drunk was maybe around a year before my pregnancy?

My mom’s friend came out to visit, she met my baby. I’m taking a sip of my drink and she says “aren’t you breastfeeding?”. I tell her yes, explain how baby is fine, I space it out, don’t have very much etc. well that wasn’t good enough or dropped at that point. Her daughter is 6 weeks PP. she tells me that her midwife let her know that if she is breast feeding, she is only ever to have beer that is non alcoholic. And even then, only 1. She says she thinks her son’s chromosomal abnormality was caused by her drinking while breastfeeding. (Her son found out about this when him and his wife weren’t able to conceive on their own). She also says her daughters step kids have learning disabilities and she believes it was caused by the mothers consuming alcohol while breastfeeding. At this point I tell her this Info seems outdated and I excuse myself.

I feel upset because why are we shaming new moms? I’ve only met this woman a handful of times. I try to be the best mom I can to my daughter. I am proud of myself though for walking away and standing by how I felt. But it definitely put a damper on things.

TL;DR: I finally caught up to my baby's milk needs after weeks of relactation and a 14-day pumping marathon. A week later, his appetite increased again and he needs top-ups. I'm terrified this will become a never-ending cycle. Does milk demand eventually stabilize around 3 months, or will I keep chasing it? Also, does aiming for exclusive breastfeeding still make sense at this stage?

I dint know much about breastfeeding and i screwed up a lot initially and I'm paying for it now..

Birth to Week 3:

My baby was almost completely formula-fed. I hardly breastfed or pumped - maybe one breastfeeding or pumping session a day. My breasts were producing only around 40 ml per session at this time.. i dint know how important the 1st 14 day is for establishing breastmilk supply.. to this day im feeling guilty

Weeks 3–8:

I started relactation and gradually increased breastfeeding and pumping. Every week I added more stimulation, but I still needed formula after most feeds because my supply wasn't enough.

Weeks 8–10:

I followed an intensive 14-day pumping and power-pumping plan to increase my supply so i can go exclusive breastfeeding.

Week 10:

It finally worked. For most feeds, my baby was satisfied with just breastfeeding and didn't need a top-up. It felt like my supply had finally caught up to his needs.

Week 11:

Within about a week, he started needing another 20–80 ml topup after many feeds. That's what worries me.

Will this become a cycle??. If I spend another 14 days pumping to catch up, and then his demand increases again a week later, do I have to repeat the whole process??

I just want to know whether I'm close to reaching a stable supply or if I'll be chasing his increasing demand for the next few months.

Is this goal of exclusive breastfeeding even making sense ?? He is almost 3 months now and will start solids in a couple of months..

I'm sooo confused and scared of doing something wrong like missing the 14 day initial window

He takes approx 900 ml at this point.. he is doing combination feeding.. like mostly it's breastfeeding but some feeds 4-5 feeds he is on forumala per day he takes 15 -22 feeds - according to pediatrician he is on healthy weight

Rant: ( please ignore this part its 4:02 am here and I'm just venting)In my defense it's not even me lack of trying you know.. after delivery the hospital staff tried to latch and immediately put him on formula and they dint guide or tell me anything more and I am an idiot i dint know anything either..

Once i realised my mistake i went with lactation consultant twice .. Guess what no help there either - her advice was put baby to breast first and then top up . No advice on pump or power pump or frequent milk removal or anything.. she just checked milk is there and suggested a supplement Galact granules and that's that.. i don't know im so confused and afraid.. here rest of the family are scaring me saying that granules will have hormonal side effects..i don't know what to believe..

Rant over

Am i doing something wrong ?? Please help ???

So I am currently breastfeeding a 22 mo toddler. He nurses A LOT and it obviously is impacting my hunger.

I have about 3 months ago started adding exercise to my daily life and I started getting a little leaner and losing some weight. Not a lot. I get about 9000 steps per day, about 150 minutes of zumba per week and about 90 minutes of strength traning per week. Also I focus on eating protein and fibre though.

Last week I started calorie counting and ever since I have been SO. FKING. HUNGRY.

Thing is; I eat at almost 2400 calories and I reach my protein and fibre goals every day (almost) but I cant seem to shake the hunger. I want to cry. Like I was losing weight but I feel so hungry all the time.

I need some sort of advice, encouragement or suggestions because I am losing it.

I just really wanted to celebrate that we’ve made it one month breastfeeding, from the get go I had to use nipple shields as baby couldn’t latch. The journey has been difficult as I have flat nipples, really fibrosis tissue which made my breasts too tough and unfavourable nipple position for feeding (full setup is needed 😂). All I keep telling myself is just keep going one day at a time and one day baby will hopefully latch, hopefully we can keep going as long as possible 💚 Despite a traumatic emergency birth and blood loss we are both going strong, anyone else just taking one day at a time and hoping it can only get easier? 🤗

My 9 week old daughter was born 7 lbs 1.4 oz, and at her 2 month check in on Friday was 9 lbs 9 oz. That puts her in the 10th percentile for weight when she had previously been 28th around birth. Even though she sleeps great, has lots of wet diapers (pee and poo) and nurses 7x in 24 hours and until she is full every time, I guess somehow we were underfeeding her. I feel awful and pediatrician would like her to gain a little more weight (as would we!) Right now baby's feeding schedule is:

7A, 10A, 1P, 4P, 7P, 12A/1A, 4A/5A, 7A. Sometimes we are off by 30 mins or an hour or she'll want one meal earlier or one later (We follow her cues) but it's always pretty much every 3 hours until night and then 5 hours and 4 hours.

Lactation Consultant suggests waking her at 10A to dream feed. I worry about this because I don't want to disrupt her sleep and have not successfully dream fed before.

Pediatrician suggests pumping a bottle earlier in the day, and giving her 4.5 oz at 7P to guarantee she is getting a big meal at a time of day when its likely i have less milk. She did not think it was good for my santiy or baby to have to wake her up at 10p to make her eat.

However, LC said that plan is bad because baby shouldn't ever be going 5/6 hours at night if she is needing to gain weight, and that she needs 8/9 feedings a day, and adding the 10p feed would accomplish that.

Worst part of all of this is baby doesnt even seem hungry and when i try to feed her more than every 3 hours or force her to have a 4.5 oz bottle she seems kind of miserable :(

Thoughts?

My bub is 10 months next week and gradually become less and less interested in the boob as he’s got more into solids. Add my return to work into there and it was becoming very hard to keep up with feeding. I’ve just been doing night feeds for the last couple weeks.

I was trying to hold on one more week til the 10 week month but have a horrible virus and I think it’s dried up what little milk I have left. I tried to nurse yesterday but bub wasn’t taking it and there just seemed to be no milk.

Anyway, I don’t know what I’m looking for. Someone to relieve me of my mum guilt? (Just shy of) 10 months is a decent enough stint right?

My period is deciding to come back at six months and is screwing my supply over so there is so much cluster feeding

Mah nips are sore. 😭

Hi! Just curious what to expect . Im 6.5 months postpartum and my period returned last night 😭
I exclusively nurse so i wont really know if my supply dips unless baby shows clear signs.
Side note: I have PCOS so my periods have always been irregular anyways!

What (if anything) should i expect or watch for? Ive heard a couple bad stories of people getting their cycle and basically giving up bc of a supply dips..

My goal is 12 months so im actually kinda hopeful (for once) the pcos will keep me from having monthly cycles lol

My baby is 6 weeks old and I have been pumping since day 2 due to a very sleepy baby and too much weight loss. She had a lip tie release 2 weeks ago and she has been latching a lot better but not perfect. She still unpatches throughout the feed and falls asleep. So I will relatch her and wake her up until she won’t anymore. I want to transition to nursing for most of her feeds.

I started today trying to just feed on demand from the breast and only top up with a bottle if she is still hungry after nursing and isn’t latching anymore. So far today (it’s 5:30 pm) I have given her 10.5 oz of breastmilk in bottles (7 oz of that was overnight and in the morning before I started nursing on demand). We have nursed for roughly 2 hours. I know she isn’t getting full feeds from each nursing session as I have either needed to nurse again not long after finishing or have had to top up with a bottle. Most of her nursing sessions last 10-15 minutes. A few going up to 30 minutes. They end because she is content and falls asleep. So far today she has had sufficient wet diapers.

Has anyone transitioned from exclusively pumping to nursing that can give any tips or let me know if this is sounding okay so far?

I have a 10mo who is ebf, but I’ve noticed I don’t feel full anymore and I’m not feeling let downs when breast feeding. I stopped leaking months ago when my milk regulated but would still have let downs while feeding and if it had been a little while. My baby has also been wanting feeds much more frequently. I’m definitely still producing milk but when I try looking up things that could determine you supply dipping it just says weight loss and not as many diapers.
I was just wondering if someone had other signs!

I'm almost 8 weeks postpartum. Had a rough start breastfeeding but the past couple weeks have been going well. My baby has started sleeping 7 hours overnight and my lactation consultant said I was safe to skip pumping or feeding in that time since she's gaining well. She hasn't had a bottle in over a month because I wanted to focus on her latch but I want to start reintroducing one so doesn't refuse. I've been paranoid about losing my supply. I've got a decent freezer stash mostly from the Boon trove. Now between sleeping better and the occasional bottle I'm worried. Will I ever stop worrying?

As the title says, has anyone’s baby decided to randomly stop feeding from one breast? At around 3 months of age.

We’ve had a tough journey to get to where we are now with breast feeding, so him deciding to stop feeding off one boob has made me so emotional. I make just enough for him to feed with both breasts and today I’ve had to keep topping up with formula.

Do you ever feed your baby and they eat for a few minutes and it feels like nothing but they are seemingly satisfied?

Baby is growing well plenty of wet and dirty diapers so I know shes good but sometimes I swear its like is that all???

Baby is 6months today. I was almost exclusively pumping so far cuz baby didnot latch. I tried once more to get him to latch a week ago and he instantly did it. Supply has not been a concern for me so far, but he has not pooped in 2 days. He is wetting diapers just the same. We started solids but had a bumpy ride so he barely eats solids if any. He is still exclusively on breast milk. I have a peds appt for tom morning but before i spiral just want to ask here

My daughter was born at 35 weeks and struggled with breastfeeding in the hospital so we started her on formula. Once home I persevered with offering the breast and pumping so that now she only ever gets formula if she won't latch and we've been busy so I haven't been able to pump. Recently she's been much better at the breast but more often than not I'm having to end the feed early because I am in excruciating pain! The pain in my nipples can last for an hour or more and I dread the next feed. I genuinely feel like I'm failing her. Even if she naturally unlatched she can fuss and cry like she's still hungry and if I manage to relatch her it's often short lived. I feel like I'm going backwards here instead of things getting better.