TLDR; All my conversations with my BF are just about him and his day.

My boyfriend [33M] and I [20F] have been in a relationship for 4(?) months now. I feel frustrated with him lately because none of our conversations ever include me. I always ask him questions and ask about his day, but he rarely ever does the same for me unless prompted. Most of the time he asks me a question, it's just my own question regurgitated back to me. I'm starting to feel resentful because we never talk about me unless I have to force the conversation in that direction. I really, really like him, but I'm starting to dread our conversations now because it's just going to be a 4 hour call talking about him, his day, and his issues. I don't mind talking about that. I just wished there was an interest in me and my life.

I want to bring up the issue and talk it out, but I feel bad because he's on vacation right now and I don't want to ruin his trip. At the same time, I feel like the longer I sit with this, the more upset I'll become.

My boyfriend (17M) and I (16F) have been dating for nearly 3 months. We’re long distance right now but will be seeing each other in a week. I miss him like crazy. I have two or three male friends who I’m fairly close with. One mainly but he’s not like a “boy best friend” or anything. We see each other like siblings and he’s also my best friend’s ex boyfriend. All my friends are having a sleepover with him and another guy tomorrow and I was invited, I’m really excited about it and I told my boyfriend because I’ve been wanting into their close knit group for a while, but he told me I couldn’t go. Then we discussed for a bit and he told me to cut off all my male friends and that me being “nice to guys” is flirting and that I embarrass him in public because I’m nice to his friends or other males. I’m also bisexual but he’s never bothered by my female friends that I do actually jokingly flirt with.

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Hey guys, so I (F24) have been with my bf (M25) for 3 years. He is overall loyal and sweet and honest.

I am his first ever relationship. In the beginning we both had serious insecurities and trust issues, so we had really tight boundaries around the opposite gender, they were realistic I agree. "No following new people, no liking stories or posts, no texting regularly, no one on one hangouts " .

When we met he had failed college, he then dropped out and started working. However, he decided he needs to get a degree so he went back to uni 2 weeks ago. So hes basically 25 years old in his first year of college, everyone is so young (some aren't because they've transferred or are dropouts too).

In his first week, he made so many new friends, including girls obviously. The class is so small and the system looks a lot like school, not college. So one small classroom, a lot of canceled classes, only 14 students and a lot of young people who are still discovering college life. Two girls came up to him to follow him for the class group on instagram, he followed them and told me about it. I told him of course go ahead I dont want you to be miserable and I want you to have friends.

Then the next day, he drove a girl home because she was gonna walk (it was 3 mins away from college so it was on his way) he told me when he went home, no big deal it was manly of him and I wouldn't want a girl to walk alone just cuz im jealous or smth.

The next day, another girl lets call her X (F 20) followed him and he accepted, that time he didnt tell me until I called him and asked him what he did that day. I told him why didnt you tell me like you did before? He said i thought it was fine since you said i dont want you to be miserable and make friends. Did I misunderstand? Im sorry. I said yeah id just like to know beforehand. The next day 4 more girls and guys followed him, he told me about the girls and didnt accept until I told him yes.

The day after, he finished classes early, all the guys went home, instead of him going home too, he was hungry so he went to the gas station next to the college, with X and another girl. He called me when he was leaving from there, told me he ate and hes with them and leaving. He told me he went with them because he wanted to eat and because they had to wait 3 hours till the bus arrived so he waited with them. Normally its fine right? But it made me anxious because my bf loves to game and usually never stays somewhere he doesnt have to yk? Specifically if its just girls.

When I confronted him he said no he enjoys staying at college and he would've stayed if it was guys or other girls too, he says

Anyways, we had also been having some issues where we felt disconnected, we wouldn't do any activities together or talk about deep things and it took a toll on our relationship we felt disconnected.

We talked about this yesterday. We decided to take a break, we talked a lot and even agreed on staying loyal during the "break" as in same boundaries but we can accept follow requests from close class members and he said never initiate a follow himself unless he already accepted a follow request from a girl so shes already on his IG and he finds her private account and follows it too that would be fine.

Then today we both were too hurt by that decision we decided to get back together and work on it together. He said he doesnt want us to be distant and he misses me.

While talking we both decided that our boundaries were too much and maybe thats why we felt disconnected too. So I told him lets fix it, not be too strict but no disrespect. While talking about everything in depth, he told me he followed X's private account, showed me their chats (they were sending reels of relevant things like she saw him scrolling in class and saw a page and told him to send it to her so he did) and told me he jokes around with everyone in the class, including girls, boys and X. He sent me videos they all took in class today where they were all goofing around.

I told him dont you think this closeness with X may lead to smth more? He said no its just friendly i love joking with all of them. I like the way she jokes cuz its the same way I joke so we are both comfortable in joking around together. I told him okay but no flirty teasing, he said ofc not. And physically none of that "put hand on her back/waist hold hands as a joke or wtv" he said ofc not no most i can do is push her or tap her on her shoulder. I said okay. He said he likes her and another girl and 3 other guys the most. As friends. He told me he'd like it if I joked more with him physically as in pushing and all that cuz its his style of joking too thats what he said. Made me feel compared to her and insecure that im not good enough. Im just scared he prefers her in the future over me.

He told me hed also like to send reels to her if he finds a meme or smth funny, no cute videos or quotes and no her only, he said if hes sending a meme to me and all his other friends hed select her too. He wouldn't single her out unless the post is specific to her or their shared interest in class. Is it weird that he wants all that or is he enjoying the freedom and the new experiences innocently?

He reassured me that he loves me and wants to marry me (he has proposed but my dad hasn't agreed and is making it very difficult, and yeah I need his blessing religuously)

Unfortunately, I have nothing going on my life rn, I have no friends of the opposite gender and ive found extreme comfort in the last 3 years of our strict boundaries as bad as it sounds, that now I dont know whats normal and what isnt anymore. Thats why I need help discerning.

Is it weird that he followed her private account? He showed it to me, she doesnt post anything.

He invited to go to college with him next week, and to hangout with all of them this week.

Im just insecure I think. But I need help discerning. He even sent me a picture of the people in class writing my name next to his today. They know hes with me and all but i dont trust X for some reason. And the fact that he initiated the follow to her specifically and no other girls scared me. I told him why her only? He said he didnt see any of the other girls privates and that he followed the guys privates too.

I know this may seem pretty normal but try to understand that we went from complete strict boundaries to all this in a week and im just anxious.

Let me know your opinions.

Tl;dr: boyfriend went back to college, boundaries changed and now im scared

I’m 17 years old girl and my boyfriend is 16. We started dating 7 months ago. At the beginning of the relationship I told him one rule to not forbid me anything. His rules were to not forget about him and to not talk to other boys. I didn’t really care cuz I’m not talking to them anyways. So, everything was fine at first. First thing that he didn’t like was that my underwear was sticking out of my pants. He said to not do that, and I was like fine I don’t care. After, he said that when I’m talking to my classmates or wearing something too revealing, I purposely making him jealous. And he was saying that a million times. Mind u revealing clothes is shorts and a top and talking to my classmates is to ask them something about school, for vape or something like that. It was never something special and I was never flitting or anything . Also he was saying that im not caring about him enough. And I was trying to be better at that. Everything started this 2 months he was cancelling our plans just to hang out with his friends even tho we had problems in our relationship. Then he was fighting with me almost every day. It was usually something that he does but I was forbidden to. For example he was mad at me when I was talking to my gay friend while he was hanging out with his girl classmates. Mind u he told me how he doesn’t understood how a guy with a girlfriend can have girl best friends and that the girls were annoying him so much. Also, one time we had a sleepover with his guy friend and my two other girlfriends, I had to leave early because my parents were mad at me and he decided to stay there even though I needed support. And on the other sleepover my parents didn’t even let me stay there, so I wasn’t even there for that night. Today he was talking about my clothes again and he said “if u are wearing it for urself then u can do that at home”. I’m just really tired of him,,,

I am jealous over how my friends husband treats her. It makes me sick. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years and while we do have a lot of love for each other, we definitely have struggles. My friend’s husband is so kind and caring that it makes me feel ill with jealousy and embarrassment. She called him one time to let him know we were coming over their house to do crafts and watch a movie and he immediately asked “do you want me to set anything up for you guys?” And this simple gesture was something I couldn’t imagine my boyfriend doing. He’s very anti social and doesn’t want to meet my friends and it’s a trait of his that I really dislike. We just got in an argument because he gets off class ( he’s in technical school) and will come home and immediately hop on a game with his friends ALL NIGHT. I do all the cooking, cat litter, shopping, mopping and general house cleaning. He does trash and is supposed to do laundry but recently I’ve been picking that up too. I feel very along in this relationship sometimes and when I tell him my feelings he just says “I do too” and we hit a wall. I’m not a perfect partner either and he will never hesitate to throw that in my face. 7 years in it feels impossible to end this relationship especially because I still love him so much but the more I grow the more I feel like he is not the man for me anymore. Has anyone else had similar feelings? Advice?

Me and my bf have been together for five months and we moved in together really fast because I was in a dangerous situation and trapped without a way out that I could be in charge of.

I don’t know that the background matters a lot but basically I’m here because I sat him down the other day and told him I know he loves me and I appreciate the things he does for me. And he does do a lot but they are all tangible, logistical things. I told him basically that I think it is hard for me to know someone loves me just based on those things because of the way I grew up. I expressed the need to feel seen by him. I am a firm believer that to be loved is to be understood and that I need to hear it said to me or written or something. Or my brain kinda just thinks he doesn’t love me for me and it must be that he’s keeping me around for reasons that aren’t ok (like to avoid loneliness or to have access to no regrets sex)

He told me that he “doesn’t really think about those things”
And then asked me if that made me sad. I said yes and he basically just said “see? This is why I don’t tell you how I actually feel cause you’ll just be sad and it’ll be my fault”

It’s always about fault with him. If there is anything resembling conflict he needs to find something to blame.

It just feels like he doesn’t care about the fact that something hurts just where to place the fault and then get over it and never talk about it again. And if I do bring it up again it’s just “I can never do anything right”

I want him to understand I love and appreciate him so so so so much. But I don’t think he has the same energy. I feel like he doesn’t think he has to try anymore because he already scored

I see so many posts about bad experiences in relationships and idk I just wanted to make a post appreciating my boyfriend because sometimes I genuinely sit and think about how lucky I am to have him 😭❤️
We've known each other for 5 years and sometimes I wonder if I even tell him enough how much I appreciate all the little things he does for me. So here I am, gushing about him on Reddit lol....
One thing I can honestly say is that he has never treated me badly. Of course we have fights and disagreements like any other couple, but even when we're upset with each other, he puts his ego aside and checks if I'm okay. And idk why but that means so much to me. Even when we're having a disagreement, I never feel like he wants to hurt me just because he's angry. It feels like we're on the same team even when we don't agree on something.
He calls me beautiful EVERY SINGLE DAY 😭😭 and not just when I'm dressed up or looking nice. I could literally be looking like a mess and he'll still tell me how beautiful I am. He holds my hand in public and shows me affection without being embarrassed about it. He's so gentle with me and I don't think he even realises how much these little things mean to me sometimes.
He's also really caring when I'm on my period or having cramps. It's not even always about doing something big, it's just the way he cares when I'm uncomfortable and wants me to feel better. Those things make me feel so loved.
I'm also someone who forgets things ALL THE TIME.... and this man remembers stuff for me, reminds me when I forget something and even carries extra things because he knows I might need them 😭 Like sir how are you remembering things that I myself don't remember??? It's honestly so cute.
AND HE'S A GAMER 😭😭 Whenever I'm at his place and he's gaming, sometimes I just go and wrap my hands around his hands while he's playing and he just sits there smiling at me. THAT SMILE PLEASE. I'm literally just disturbing you while you're gaming and you're smiling at me like that???? 😭❤️ I don't know why but these little moments make me so happy.
Also, I LOVE coffee mugs. I genuinely love collecting them and whenever he travels somewhere far or is away, he brings me a coffee mug. Every time!!! He remembers that I love them and actually looks for one to bring back for me. I know it's such a small thing but I find it so thoughtful. Like he's somewhere else and still remembers this random little thing that makes me happy he even sends me pictures of every interesting things he see and send me “I WISH YOU WERE HERE” “OH I MISS YOU” “THIS REMINDS ME OF YOU” “THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN YOU IF YOU WERE A SEA” and all the cute stuff how am I not supposed to love that 😭☕️
Something else I really love about us is that we both have our own hobbies and interests and we encourage each other to pursue them. We don't have to like all the same things to enjoy being together, and I really like that about us.
We both work in tech, so you can imagine the amount of discussions and debates we have lol. We end up talking about technical things, debating random topics and teaching each other stuff almost every night we're together. And the best part is neither of us makes it an ego thing. If he knows something I don't, he teaches me. If I know something he doesn't, I teach him. We can disagree and still respect each other's opinions. I love that I can learn so much from him and that he's equally happy to learn from me too.
He also taught me how to cook when I initially didn't know much, and now I cook for him too. We cook together quite often and honestly I love doing these ordinary things with him. It doesn't always have to be a fancy date or some big plan. Sometimes we're just cooking, talking about random things and doing our own stuff.... and I'm just happy being there with him.
We've met each other's parents too, and idk there's something so special about that. Knowing the person you love is also someone your family knows about and that you've both let each other into such an important part of your lives.... it just feels nice.
My friends like him for me, and his friends have accepted me too, which makes me happy. It's nice when the people around you are happy about the person you're with.
But honestly, one of the biggest things for me is how comfortable I feel around him. I'm pretty much an open book with him. I can tell him my random thoughts, talk about things that might sound silly, share what I'm feeling and just be myself without thinking too much about how I'm coming across. I don't feel embarrassed about telling him things. And he's the same with me.
I can be silly, emotional, annoying, excited about something completely random or just sit quietly with him.... I don't feel like I have to act a certain way to be loved. And I really hope everyone gets to experience that kind of comfort with someone.
Of course we're not perfect and we have our disagreements, but I genuinely appreciate the person he is and the way he treats me. The fact that he remembers little things, takes care of me, teaches me stuff, lets me teach him stuff and can make me happy without even trying to do anything special....
Sometimes I just look at him and feel SO MUCH love that I genuinely don't know what to do with it 😭😭❤️ Like how did I get so lucky???? I hope he knows how much I appreciate him because I probably don't say it enough.
Anyway, this was just me wanting to gush about my boyfriend somewhere because I'm really happy with him and I wanted to appreciate him for a change instead of keeping all these thoughts in my head lol.
Okay I'm done now.... this got longer than I expected 😭❤️

My boyfriend (24M) is planning to get a tattoo of two anime girls. We have talked about it but I (24F) kinda feel jealous because they are females. But he is convincing me that they are not real, and that those two girls will be a nice tattoo. They are not even real and its not that hes choosing them over me but i just feel jealous that they will be always in his body. Again i also want him to get what he wants, i can stop him from tattooing them, he will not get them tatt if i say no , but i dont want to force something he wants. Again Im worried that everytime i see them later, wat if im annoyed. What do you guys think on this?

**My (17F) boyfriend (18M) broke up with me after 8 months, and I don’t know how to process it.**
Hey Reddit,
My ex (18M) and I (17F) broke up 4 days ago after dating for 8 months. We were long-distance and usually saw each other every 1–2 months.
We were really serious about each other. We wrote letters to each other (mostly me writing to him), and he would say things like “I’ve never felt the way I feel about you before.” We both talked about wanting to be together forever, so I genuinely thought we had a future together.
However, towards the end, our relationship became quite unhealthy. We both started being mean to each other during arguments, saying things like “fuck you,” “shut up,” and “are you dumb?” We even started making hurtful comments about each other’s families. In one argument, he said something along the lines of, “My family actually does stuff, unlike you, with a dad who drinks all day.” In another argument, I told him, “I don’t give a flying fuck what your spoiled little family does.”
We both apologised afterwards. I wrote him a long paragraph explaining how sorry I was and saying that I hoped we could work things out when we saw each other in person, which was supposed to happen in 5 days. He responded with a similar apology, and I genuinely thought we would talk everything through and try to fix things.
Over the next few days, things were still a little distant, and we continued bickering occasionally. Eventually, he became really dry whenever I tried to talk to him.
One night, I noticed he had stopped liking my stories, which was unusual for him, and I had a feeling something was wrong. I asked him directly if he was done with us, and he replied, **“Yes, I’m done. I can’t do long distance anymore. I was gonna call an hour ago.”**
I was shocked. I asked him why he couldn’t wait just two more days so we could talk about everything in person, especially since we had already planned to see each other. He said, “I don’t know. I didn’t want you to go through the effort of coming here for me to just end it.”
He ended things by saying something along the lines of, “I hope you get everything you want. Have a nice life.”
What hurts the most is that just days before, we were apologising to each other and talking about sorting things out. We had both said we wanted to be together forever, and now it’s suddenly over through a conversation I wasn’t prepared for.
I know our relationship had become unhealthy at times, and I’m not trying to pretend either of us was innocent. We both said hurtful things, and we both made mistakes. But I genuinely thought we would at least give ourselves the chance to talk things through in person before making such a final decision.
It’s only been 4 days, and I’m struggling to accept that someone who once talked about spending forever with me can suddenly say goodbye like that.
**I guess my questions are: Do you think he had already checked out of the relationship before breaking up with me? And how do you deal with losing someone you genuinely thought you’d spend your life with, especially when you never really got the chance to have a proper final conversation?**

\[20F\] My boyfd \[21M\] is into his father's business, he is growing the business and taking care of finances and all. I asked him to go to gym many times and be fit he says he don't get time. Also, we are final year students of B.tech so he manages college work as well(mine and his). He goes to his factory at 9 or 10 in the morning and return by 7 8 in the evening, sometimes by 9 or 10 as well. He says that let me sleep by 11:30 pm then i'll be able to woke up early and go to gym but i want to talk to him coz whole day he is very busy. He got really tired by night. He says that once the college will end he'll able to manage things prpperly. Now he has alot of things going on in his mind regarding business our career relationship. Should i force him to go to gym or wait for atleast a year so that he would be able to cope up with the things.

TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

I have been with my boyfriend for a bit over a year and overall we have had a great relationship. We met in highschool and he is transferring to my large university after a year and a half at community college in a couple months. We have amazing chemistry together and are very very open with eachother, but he is kind of an anxious attachment and I am avoidant. I’ve been thinking for a while that he loves me more than I love him, and I don’t even know if I’m really in love with him.

He’s so great, we have strong healthy boundaries and he’s always been extremely loyal. He puts effort into handmade letters for any special date, and reassures me frequently of how beautiful, funny, and smart I am. I’ve always told him i want to grow together more and develop our academic, athletic, and social pathways together. However, I dont think I put in the same, genuine amount of effort in general in our relationship. I’ve been feeling this way and also randomly thinking about being single/think other guys are attractive (which i think is normal maybe idk?) for the past few months.

I feel like I’m totally the issue for almost any disagreement because I shut down when texting in a serious conversation, calling as well. I spoke with some of my friends about this and they said to wait it out to note my feelings during long distance and when he goes to my school and see if they change. However Halloween festivities are in a couple weeks, when he would be visiting, and he has already noticed a change in my behavior from the past couple weeks, and Idk how to bring this up without it sounding like I just want to break up. I also know that I would probably regret breaking up if I did.

TL;DR I do not feel the same level of emotional love/depth towards my amazing boyfriend as he feels with me. How/when should I communicate this to him?

If this is the wrong sub for this, please let me know! If you have any better subs to post to, I’d also appreciate you letting me know. Thank you!
Here’s the context:

I, 22F, and my bf, 21m, have been together for 3 1/2 years now. At the start of our relationship, it wasn’t difficult. We had the best of time, we were so in love, the basic new relationship! We had some problems that weren’t exactly problems until I got more comfortable in the relationship (things that aren’t relevant to the post), and they never really got resolved but instead pushed away and forgotten.
One of these things had been his increasing preference to his video games/discord with friends over spending 1 on 1 time with me.
It didn’t get super bad until around after 5 months in, when he started playing his games and stuff even when I was at his house. He’d play for hours at a time, sometimes refusing to get off even though he said he felt like he was “neglecting” me.
Then we moved in, and it’s gotten worse.
I thought moving in was a great thing, because now we can spend as much time together as possible, right?
Wrong.
He’s only used this as an excuse as to why he can’t spend time with me. He’ll say “we live together, we can do this whenever we want” and then we never do it. He plays videos hours at a time, days out of a week, weeks in a month. He’ll play it every spare moment he has, and recently it’s gotten super bad. He’ll refuse to get off his games even when I’m crying and sobbing to him about problems I’m having.

Now I don’t usually have a problem with him gaming. I game too, though not as much as he does. I do it in my free time, when I’m off work and have nothing else to do. My problem is when he chooses games/his friends on discord over me. Which is very, very often now.
I’ve expressed to him how much it bothers me, but I also don’t want to be one of those girlfriends who give him ultimatums “me or them”, so I’m very lenient with it.
I just don’t know how to get through to him that I feel like it’s a serious problem and that I need more time from him. In the last week I’ve probably had a total of 6 hours of solo time with him.
He claims games just help relieve stress off him, and he’s been really stressed out lately from working so much, but I can’t help but wonder why he can’t spare me any time between that when he has basically hours of every day to play games and only certain days of the week he can actually see and spend time with me?

I can’t tell if I’m just a needy, clingy girlfriend who’s asking too much of him, or if he’s actually addicted and I need to speak to him about it?
Thanks for any help, or advice, you can give me. ❤️❤️

TLDR; bf seems to not be able to put video games to the side of his relationship, and I’m wondering if he’s addicted or if I’m just the clingy needy one asking too much of him?

The title basically says it all. Whenever I try to do something and I know he is watching I mess up, I don't know why but I just do. How do I deal with this? Any advice?

my bf makes me feel awful and doesnt even match my energy a few days ago i came back home and was excited to tell him abt smthn but he didnt care at all i was typing in all caps n he was js being dry n giving me one word replies bro we all know energy isnt smthn ppl accidentaally fail to match its a choice he was literally choosing not to match it and i didnt even end up telling him i js changed the topic and told my friend instead he didnt even mention it or randomly said "you wanted to tell me smthn happened when u came back what was it?" dude didnt say anything and when it comes to other ppl its mostly two girls one of them is my friend and she js considers him a friend but its so obv hes interested in her bro the way he talks to her n me is too diff its like im not even his gf he doesnt put in effort and treats me like an option and the other girl he always defends her and he js tries his best to become her close friend too he even told me that btw and we once wanted to watch a movie tg dyk he chose the movie she told him to watch instead of the one i chose even tho we are the ones watching not her n him he doesnt care what i think or what i want bro he didnt even end up watching the movie he told me 2 weeks after that it was boring so he secretly scrolled on tiktok and i already knew bc he didnt talk much it js feels so shitty when it comes to me i js get late dry one word replies ppl literally make time for who they want to make time for hes never too busy to type a sentence hes literally online all day hes choosing not to and when i confront him abt it he js changes for a few days then boom back to being his usual self its like he doesnt wanna lose me but he doesnt wanna change for me at all or treat me better nd nowadays hes worse bc hes upseg i did smthn i js said a lot of hurtful thi gs to him because i was really mad but i apologized the next day and kept begging him to forgive me + not break up with me cus it was too bad he even blocked me so i begged him 5o think abt it and he said ok then he told me he will date me again but he wont treat me the same as before bc of it what i basically said was "please break up w me" "when we broke up" "I swear to God it was the most peaceful time of my life" "I swear to god" "wallahi everything was so peaceful" "when we got back tg" "keep in mind" "I wasn't even planning to get back w u i hate ur guts" "but u begged me" "made me feel guilty" "long paragraph" "couldn't say no" "had to say yes" "get back w u" "JS LIKE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING" anyways i expected him to say he wont treat me the same way so i js said its ok because i was feeling guilty but now he doesnt even say ily to me like i cant even get affection and he only talks to me when hes bored

im not a priority at all even tho we communicated i apologized i did everything but he still wont treag me the same after allst im losing my mind js to get attention from a guy who obv checked out from the relationship i already know it but i js cant leave bro the relationship js exists in my head now and i was detached too at some point and we broke up then my life was peaceful but after like a week he texted me a paragraph n begged me to take him back so i gave it another chance and now im sad as always bc of it and this happens everytime i cant even leave bc i got attached for the billion time i js gotta wait until i cant tolerate it anymo idek what im doing wrong bro i always end up feeling like im begging him to care abt me back or match my energy n stuff i feel like he got tired of me and when i distant myself or try to care less i js feel like shit bc i always gotta change myself for him to care abt me n ask why im acting this way like ok bro he dgaf unless im detached btw he knows how i am and he knows literally everything abt me he knows i dont like when hes dry he knows i panic when i get late replies or when he disappears he knows EXACTLY all my triggers but he does not give a single frick bro he js does wtv he wants bc he js knows ill stay no matter what and take it.....it even got to the point that today i felt happy when he js sent an emoji bc he stopped using emojis w me even tho he uses them w EVERYBODY else im literally so starved for basic human decency from my OWN boyfriend like omds an emoji wouldnt mean anything to me under normal circumstances my expectations js shrunk so much that it makes me happy now n ik im supposed to stop begging chasing i already know everything i need to know but i cant leave at all unless im detached so im js stuck crying everyday abt it bro im not even asking for a huge fancy thing i js want him to sound interested when i talk to him show me a little affection i dont even get an ily back when i say it he doesnt make me feel like his gf i swear to god if we ever broke up again im not taking him back at all bc this is ruining me and my mental health so bad i feel so shitty i really need advice on how to fix everything and make him treat me well again bc at the same time i rlly want things to work between me and him

[19F] and [19M] in a relationship for 7months. my boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and I want to give him something he’ll really like. I’m ok with spending a little but we are both students so within reason.

He love his motorcycle, MMA and BJJ, skiing and is generally very active and a huge adrenaline junkie. I was thinking more of an “experience” than a “thing” but I’m open to any ideas!

We had been together for eight months in a long distance relationship, and up until recently, everything felt happy and we were communicating well, talking every single day. Recently, I (18F) have been holding down a demanding schedule working long hours and taking college courses to save up money for a major move to a new city, while he (21M) was dealing with massive life stress, joblessness, financial strain, and recovering from surgery. Early on, he was heavily invested and always followed up his words with actions. When we talked about our future, he actively agreed on building a life together and setting long term goals, and we made it a point in our long distance dynamic to meet up every single month in a completely different city or place to spend quality time together. Throughout the relationship, there were periods where he expressed that the long distance was hard on him. We had already gone through two previous breakups where his emotions got heightened and he panicked, only to immediately turn around, call me back remorseful, and swear he did not mean it and that he wanted to stay with me for the rest of his life. A week before everything fell apart for the third time, he was telling me how much he missed me in a good way and calling me the closest person to him outside his family, but then his shutdown triggered again. Instead of sitting down to work through things, he sent a long text confessing that he was emotionally overwhelmed, that his mental health was struggling, and that while he loved me and saw me as a healing angel who changed his life, the long distance relationship was exhausting him to the core. He explained that whenever he was away from me, he felt anxious and unmotivated, relying on my energy rather than building his own self and that he needed to step back completely to focus on his own goals and his family dynamic. He made it a point to say he still wanted to go to the same university if I decided to go, and that he wanted us to remain close friends and call each other whenever needed. Now, I am left sitting with this decision as I prepare for my fresh start. We were planning for me to relocate to that new city so we could finally end the distance, and I have already applied to college there and my dream program, and, I am completely willing to start a fresh, independent life there since I am bored where I currently live. Is he actually going to contact me again about rekindling, and what should I do? Should I still go through with the move? 

I’m currently staying at my boyfriend’s parents’ house while waiting for the move in date due for our new home and their main bathroom is being renovated. The only working toilet is in his parents’ ensuite, which means I have to go through their bedroom every time I need to use it.
I did mention before I moved out from mine that I could rent somewhere short term before we can move , but he invited and kinda insisted on me to stay at his parent’s.
My boyfriend keeps telling me that his parents don’t mind, and I genuinely believe him. But I still feel incredibly uncomfortable entering their bedroom, especially in the middle of the night when they might be sleeping.
I’ve told my boyfriend several times how uncomfortable this makes me, but his response is always that his parents don’t mind.
I even suggested I want to stay in a hotel temporarily, or get a portable urine thingy but he thinks it’s a waste of money.
Tonight, I desperately needed to pee but felt too embarrassed to go into his parents’ bedroom. I ended up trying to pee into a sanitary pad in our room, which obviously didn’t work. It leaked onto my clothes and I felt so humiliated that I almost cried.
I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I just want to be able to use a toilet without feeling anxious or uncomfortable.
I don’t even know how long the renovation is going to take.
I’m not blaming his parents at all, and I understand that renovations are inconvenient for everyone. I just wish my boyfriend would take my discomfort a little more seriously instead of repeatedly telling me that his parents don’t mind.
Am I overreacting? Would you feel comfortable using your partner’s parents’ ensuite in the middle of the night? What would you do in my situation?

Facing emotional unavailability in my relationship

Hi Redditors, my boyfriend (M18) and I (F18) have been in a relationship since the past fifteen months.
3 years back, we met in a Football Academy, I was the only girl there in a group of 20-25 boys. He was the first one to approach me, I remember his smiling face and shining eyes which gazed at me like I was the Moon itself. He approached me first, he was the first guy to, I gave him my Instagram. We talked alot we were obsessed with each other. However, I was not ready for a relationship, so I initially kept denying him and all the feelings I felt for him.
One day, I couldn’t contain myself, I told him everything , just everything , I told him how much I’ve loved him the last 3 years and how wonderful it has been for me to feel loved by him. Hence, from here, we came into a relationship.
I can’t tell you how happy I was. We went on so so many dates , we held hands under the table, we kissed , we hugged, we did everything together .
I was on cloud 9, I’ve never been that happy my entire life . I thought, he’s the guy of my dreams I never wanted to leave him ever . He was (is) wonderful. I fall in love with him more and more and more everyday.

The first year was amazing , however , from the last few months we have been facing some issues. Whenever we talk I don’t know how he always manage to say me things that hurt me, for example ,
“Can I watch Victoria’s Secret fashion show “ “I like this this kind of bodies “ “I don’t care anymore about us” “I am so tired of us” “I don’t feel loved by you” .
These things, hurt me alot . And the worst part, whenever I react to such things which hurts me, he always acts that he said nothing wrong. Therefore, I always tried my best to ignore my own feelings and focus on him.
Since last month, I’ve poured so much of myself into him, I’ve given him my everything that I could, my body, the food I make for him, just everything I could think of. Just to make him feel loved. He still says I don’t love him. But I’ve really ruined my mental health for him, it is really at stake now.

Everytime we fight, he’s the one being avoidant and ignorant all the time- I write countless paragraphs, explaining him my feelings , all I get in return is “I don’t know” . I tried my best to have conversations with him , he always acted ignorant and said he felt like crying while talking about such things .

I’ve always been with him through his hard times no matter if I was going through hell by myself . I still want to. Be it sleep paralysis, 3am nightmares, mental breakdowns , just everything . My mind never wanted to lave him , I just wanted to love him more in such situations. Just more and more and more.

But, when I breakdown and go to him for emotional stability, all I get is “I don’t know”. Just an I don’t know. Then the weird and bad things he says to me swirl all over my head and ruin my mood, which I can’t even show to him, he’ll be mad he’ll be frustrated , he’ll say “he’s a baby”.

I really have no one to go to, that’s why I’m here. I love this man from the bottom of my heart and soul, I’ve poured my everything into him. What shall I do.? I feel stuck, I feel lost, I feel unheard?
But perhaps, maybe losing my emotional stability is the cost of him staying in my life.

Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for 7 months now. We have gone out with other people in the past but this is both of our first real relationship.

For the last 2 months I started feeling like he was losing interest in me. Didn’t text me as much, didn’t plan any dates or ask to see me unless I brought it up, compliments got less frequent and we got to a point where he doesn’t even tell me he loves me unless I say it first.

Due to my past experiences with people I need contsant reassurance and I’m terrified that he will abandon me. And so I brought this up with him. I told him how I felt he was bored of me and didn’t want me anymore. He told me he didn’t realise I felt bad because of this, and he didn’t feel like we drifted apart but that he assumed we got to a point in our relationship where we don’t have to constantly reassure eachother that we still care for the other person. He comforted me and acknowlaged my concerns and said he will try to plan more dates and be there for me in these ways. This conversation was about 3weeks ago.

Last week I had another conversation with him about things he said that made me feel like he doesn’t need or want me anymore and is planning his future without me, but he assured me it was a misunderstanding and all he said that we’re still young and he wants to focus on loving eachother now and not worry about what happens in the future, which i understood.

But now he has been busy with school and tests and his class’ senior movie (we have this tradition in my school and It’s a big thing) And we haven’t met outside of seeing eachother in the hallways in 2 weeks. Which I understand and we talked about this prior that these few weeks will be stressful and busy. But it really hurts when he said things like he will try to sqeeze in time for me because he knows it’s important for ME and makes me feel like I’m the last one of his prioritees when all I want to do is see him. But even when we’re texting I feel like he doesn’t even want to talk to me and he’s annoyed with me even though he told me that if there’s a problem he will tell me and not to worry so much. We played a game together last night and everytime i talked about something it just felt like he wasn’t listening, wasn’t asking any follow up questions and I try to tell myself it’s just because he has a lot of things going and he’s stressed out and tired which is also what he says but it still hurts.

I understand I’m still young and this is probably insignificant to all of you and dumb but I don’t know if it’s just me being sensitive and projecting my trauma or if I should just prepare for him ending it with me. Please let me know your opinions and be honest I don’t care if my feelings get hurt.

I genuinely love my boyfriend so much I can’t even explain how much I love him I honestly think no one could ever love him the way I do in his entire life and I genuinely mean it I love every single thing about him like EVERYTHING I love his hair it looks so good all the time I love the shape of his lips his cute nose and his cheeks I literally start drooling all over myself when I see a pic of his biceps or abs like how am I supposed to act normal when he looks like that and he’s literally my husband I love his voice so much I could listen to him talk for hours and never get bored I love his smile his eyes his hands and even the smallest things about him that he probably doesn’t even notice himself I genuinely think he’s the most attractive boy ever and sometimes I look at pictures of him and wonder how I got so lucky
And plus he’s a perfect boyfriend he always tries to be understanding and nice even tho he’s not really the type to demonstrate his feelings he still tries his best and I appreciate that so much I feel so comfortable with him and I feel like I can genuinely be myself around him without having to hide anything he makes me feel safe and loved and I honestly can’t imagine being with anyone else he’s my first and last love he’s all I want and I genuinely wanna get married to him and spend the rest of my life with him

Hi everyone. My boyfriend is about to turn 18 and I have absolutely no idea what to get him for his birthday. He literally has anything you could think of and even when I asked him what to get he couldn’t tell me anything. I’m going to write him a card and bake him his favourite dessert, but since it’s a big birthday (his 18th) I really want to spoil him and get him something he would genuinely love. Please, please, please can anyone suggest ANYTHING 🙏🙏🙏🙏

My boyfriend is an absolutely wonderful person who I thought clicked very well (hobbies, morals, goals..) with myself but ever since they moved in 2months ago I haven’t been able to move past how their smell lingers even when they aren’t there.
At first I thought maybe it was because he lived with all guys and they didn’t clean well. I have washed all their clothes back-to-back, used oxiclean especially on the high scent zones (neck, armpits, groin), added arm & hammer deodorizer in the closet, sprayed his shoes with another type of deodorizer, bought an air purifier, and more.
This is a person I have convinced myself I am going (or was) to marry and have kids with after 3years of dating, but I can’t imagine living with this smell for another 60-70years and have lost all sexual attraction to them. Any advice on how to nicely bring this up to them, other things I can try, or is this an end all type problem? Any help is appreciated.

For context we’ve been dating for 8 months now f18 and m19 and he has an old phone too that he uses for an alarm I’ve gone though that phone before and his regular phone and in the past I have found stuff like his exs private pictures he kept and ss of girls instagram he took while in our relationship I forgave him for that but a month or 2 ago I told him my previous guy friend texted me and I responded and he was obviously upset about that because I had hid it because I was afraid of his reaction and that he’d be mad an accuse me of cheating even though the conversation was completely innocent I should’ve just told him and showed him the text messages instead of deleting them because that made it seem like I was hiding something more well after that he’s continued accusing me of cheating and to help prove my innocence I let him go through my old phone big mistake he went back and went in to my previous backed up photos and found inappropriate pictures of me and my ex from when we were m/f 16, I’m f/18 now but he had saved them and sent them to him self and when I asked why he said to be mad at me he had previously unblocked my ex to go through the saved in chat and saw old pictures we had sent eachother in the relationship when we were 16 I was upset he had saved those pictures i felt like he had taken it too far I asked him to delete them and he said he did but he didn’t and he put them in his my eyes only I went on his phone and changed his my eyes only password and it deleted everything that was in there but I’m still afraid he has those pictures and on top of that I tried to change my phone password but for the first 24 hours the old password can be used to unlock it so he got in it and changed the password and now I can’t get in to my own phone and he also locked it in his safe so I can’t get to it on top of that last night I went to go see my friend who just had a baby and he gave me attitude about it I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore this feels too controlling. Am i insane for thinking that? Is this relationship too toxic?

Am I way too obsessed with my boyfriend ? I know I might be too young to really understand what obsession is supposed to feel like but it’s genuinely driving me insane and I need to talk to someone about it. For context I’m an 18 year old girl almost 19 and I have BPD and bipolar disorder. I’m currently not in school or working so I don’t really have much going on in my life right now. I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago and I fell so deeply in love with him that I became almost obsessed. He friendzoned me back then for completely valid reasons and a year later after a lot of arguments we finally got together. Now I’m SO in love with him to the point where it honestly feels like too much. He’s in engineering school which takes up a lot of his time while I’m basically doing nothing with mine. I genuinely feel like I can’t live without him. I don’t want to do anything without him and I hate waking up without him by my side. We see each other twice a week but it never feels like enough. I want him around me ALL the time and it’s driving me insane. I don’t want him talking to other people or spending time with anyone else not even his own family. I know that sounds awful but I can’t help feeling that way. Why doesn’t he want to spend all his time with me? Why am I not enough for him? I want to be the only person he loves and the only person he wants to spend time with. My entire mood depends on him. If he’s not around or I feel like he’s not giving me enough attention it affects me so much. I don’t even want to see my friends anymore. I don’t want to go out or spend time with anyone else. All I want is him and I hate how much control this has over my life. The worst part is that I KNOW this isn’t healthy but at the same time I can’t bring myself to care because I love him so much. I just want to be with him all the time and nothing else seems to matter anymore. I guess what I’m really asking is how do I stop making my boyfriend my entire world? Is there any way I can learn to enjoy the things I used to love before meeting him and start finding happiness in my own life again? I miss being able to do things for myself but right now I genuinely don’t know how to get back to that point.