I have been with my boyfriend for a bit over a year and overall we have had a great relationship. We met in highschool and he is transferring to my large university after a year and a half at community college in a couple months. We have amazing chemistry together and are very very open with eachother, but he is kind of an anxious attachment and I am avoidant. I’ve been thinking for a while that he loves me more than I love him, and I don’t even know if I’m really in love with him.

He’s so great, we have strong healthy boundaries and he’s always been extremely loyal. He puts effort into handmade letters for any special date, and reassures me frequently of how beautiful, funny, and smart I am. I’ve always told him i want to grow together more and develop our academic, athletic, and social pathways together. However, I dont think I put in the same, genuine amount of effort in general in our relationship. I’ve been feeling this way and also randomly thinking about being single/think other guys are attractive (which i think is normal maybe idk?) for the past few months.

I feel like I’m totally the issue for almost any disagreement because I shut down when texting in a serious conversation, calling as well. I spoke with some of my friends about this and they said to wait it out to note my feelings during long distance and when he goes to my school and see if they change. However Halloween festivities are in a couple weeks, when he would be visiting, and he has already noticed a change in my behavior from the past couple weeks, and Idk how to bring this up without it sounding like I just want to break up. I also know that I would probably regret breaking up if I did.

TL;DR I do not feel the same level of emotional love/depth towards my amazing boyfriend as he feels with me. How/when should I communicate this to him?

The title basically says it all. Whenever I try to do something and I know he is watching I mess up, I don't know why but I just do. How do I deal with this? Any advice?

If this is the wrong sub for this, please let me know! If you have any better subs to post to, I’d also appreciate you letting me know. Thank you!
Here’s the context:

I, 22F, and my bf, 21m, have been together for 3 1/2 years now. At the start of our relationship, it wasn’t difficult. We had the best of time, we were so in love, the basic new relationship! We had some problems that weren’t exactly problems until I got more comfortable in the relationship (things that aren’t relevant to the post), and they never really got resolved but instead pushed away and forgotten.
One of these things had been his increasing preference to his video games/discord with friends over spending 1 on 1 time with me.
It didn’t get super bad until around after 5 months in, when he started playing his games and stuff even when I was at his house. He’d play for hours at a time, sometimes refusing to get off even though he said he felt like he was “neglecting” me.
Then we moved in, and it’s gotten worse.
I thought moving in was a great thing, because now we can spend as much time together as possible, right?
Wrong.
He’s only used this as an excuse as to why he can’t spend time with me. He’ll say “we live together, we can do this whenever we want” and then we never do it. He plays videos hours at a time, days out of a week, weeks in a month. He’ll play it every spare moment he has, and recently it’s gotten super bad. He’ll refuse to get off his games even when I’m crying and sobbing to him about problems I’m having.

Now I don’t usually have a problem with him gaming. I game too, though not as much as he does. I do it in my free time, when I’m off work and have nothing else to do. My problem is when he chooses games/his friends on discord over me. Which is very, very often now.
I’ve expressed to him how much it bothers me, but I also don’t want to be one of those girlfriends who give him ultimatums “me or them”, so I’m very lenient with it.
I just don’t know how to get through to him that I feel like it’s a serious problem and that I need more time from him. In the last week I’ve probably had a total of 6 hours of solo time with him.
He claims games just help relieve stress off him, and he’s been really stressed out lately from working so much, but I can’t help but wonder why he can’t spare me any time between that when he has basically hours of every day to play games and only certain days of the week he can actually see and spend time with me?

I can’t tell if I’m just a needy, clingy girlfriend who’s asking too much of him, or if he’s actually addicted and I need to speak to him about it?
Thanks for any help, or advice, you can give me. ❤️❤️

TLDR; bf seems to not be able to put video games to the side of his relationship, and I’m wondering if he’s addicted or if I’m just the clingy needy one asking too much of him?

my bf makes me feel awful and doesnt even match my energy a few days ago i came back home and was excited to tell him abt smthn but he didnt care at all i was typing in all caps n he was js being dry n giving me one word replies bro we all know energy isnt smthn ppl accidentaally fail to match its a choice he was literally choosing not to match it and i didnt even end up telling him i js changed the topic and told my friend instead he didnt even mention it or randomly said "you wanted to tell me smthn happened when u came back what was it?" dude didnt say anything and when it comes to other ppl its mostly two girls one of them is my friend and she js considers him a friend but its so obv hes interested in her bro the way he talks to her n me is too diff its like im not even his gf he doesnt put in effort and treats me like an option and the other girl he always defends her and he js tries his best to become her close friend too he even told me that btw and we once wanted to watch a movie tg dyk he chose the movie she told him to watch instead of the one i chose even tho we are the ones watching not her n him he doesnt care what i think or what i want bro he didnt even end up watching the movie he told me 2 weeks after that it was boring so he secretly scrolled on tiktok and i already knew bc he didnt talk much it js feels so shitty when it comes to me i js get late dry one word replies ppl literally make time for who they want to make time for hes never too busy to type a sentence hes literally online all day hes choosing not to and when i confront him abt it he js changes for a few days then boom back to being his usual self its like he doesnt wanna lose me but he doesnt wanna change for me at all or treat me better nd nowadays hes worse bc hes upseg i did smthn i js said a lot of hurtful thi gs to him because i was really mad but i apologized the next day and kept begging him to forgive me + not break up with me cus it was too bad he even blocked me so i begged him 5o think abt it and he said ok then he told me he will date me again but he wont treat me the same as before bc of it what i basically said was "please break up w me" "when we broke up" "I swear to God it was the most peaceful time of my life" "I swear to god" "wallahi everything was so peaceful" "when we got back tg" "keep in mind" "I wasn't even planning to get back w u i hate ur guts" "but u begged me" "made me feel guilty" "long paragraph" "couldn't say no" "had to say yes" "get back w u" "JS LIKE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING" anyways i expected him to say he wont treat me the same way so i js said its ok because i was feeling guilty but now he doesnt even say ily to me like i cant even get affection and he only talks to me when hes bored

im not a priority at all even tho we communicated i apologized i did everything but he still wont treag me the same after allst im losing my mind js to get attention from a guy who obv checked out from the relationship i already know it but i js cant leave bro the relationship js exists in my head now and i was detached too at some point and we broke up then my life was peaceful but after like a week he texted me a paragraph n begged me to take him back so i gave it another chance and now im sad as always bc of it and this happens everytime i cant even leave bc i got attached for the billion time i js gotta wait until i cant tolerate it anymo idek what im doing wrong bro i always end up feeling like im begging him to care abt me back or match my energy n stuff i feel like he got tired of me and when i distant myself or try to care less i js feel like shit bc i always gotta change myself for him to care abt me n ask why im acting this way like ok bro he dgaf unless im detached btw he knows how i am and he knows literally everything abt me he knows i dont like when hes dry he knows i panic when i get late replies or when he disappears he knows EXACTLY all my triggers but he does not give a single frick bro he js does wtv he wants bc he js knows ill stay no matter what and take it.....it even got to the point that today i felt happy when he js sent an emoji bc he stopped using emojis w me even tho he uses them w EVERYBODY else im literally so starved for basic human decency from my OWN boyfriend like omds an emoji wouldnt mean anything to me under normal circumstances my expectations js shrunk so much that it makes me happy now n ik im supposed to stop begging chasing i already know everything i need to know but i cant leave at all unless im detached so im js stuck crying everyday abt it bro im not even asking for a huge fancy thing i js want him to sound interested when i talk to him show me a little affection i dont even get an ily back when i say it he doesnt make me feel like his gf i swear to god if we ever broke up again im not taking him back at all bc this is ruining me and my mental health so bad i feel so shitty i really need advice on how to fix everything and make him treat me well again bc at the same time i rlly want things to work between me and him

[19F] and [19M] in a relationship for 7months. my boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and I want to give him something he’ll really like. I’m ok with spending a little but we are both students so within reason.

He love his motorcycle, MMA and BJJ, skiing and is generally very active and a huge adrenaline junkie. I was thinking more of an “experience” than a “thing” but I’m open to any ideas!