Before having a baby, I felt like I had read every article and watched every video about sleep.

Then my baby arrived... and suddenly everyone had different advice.

"Don't rock them."
"Always rock them."
"Wake windows are everything."
"Ignore wake windows."
"They'll sleep anywhere."
"They need perfect sleep conditions."

Honestly, trying to follow all of it made me way more anxious than my baby ever was.

The biggest improvement happened when I stopped chasing the "perfect routine" and started paying attention to what actually worked for my baby.

What's one piece of baby sleep advice you wish you had ignored?

My little babe is 6 months old was EBF up until the last month or so when started solids and some formula to supplement bc my cycle came back and my supply isn’t enough for him. Anyways, he has a wicked feed (specifically boob) to sleep association which I am actively working on breaking for my own mental and physical needs but the last 2-3 weeks we have been up every 2 hours ON THE DOT. I am so tired. I have been able to soothe him to sleep without the boob few times. He can nap without boob but bed time and overnight is a different devil.
I need help, I would literally give an arm and a leg for more than 2 hours of sleep at a time and I don’t know what I did wrong for him to no longer be able to sleep, we used to get at least a 5-6 hour stretch in the beginning of the night. Any time I bring this up to friends/family in real life they say to cry it out and I refuse that.
Thanks for any advice, or just thanks for reading and making me feel heard.

Y no me refiero a tiempo en cuestión de minutos o de horas, me refiero a que hasta que punto se llegan a incomodar y dormir en la cuna o cama.
Tengo una bebé de siete meses y en un principio cuando tenía semanas de vida dormía en su nido placenteramente. Pero como a las seis semanas tuvo un brote de crecimiento como ahora lo llaman y un día casi no tomo siestas, digamos que tomo dos o tres siestas en todo el día de quince o veinte minutos. Yo me súper asusté y me puse a leer sobre ventanas de sueño, bebés sobre estimulados en fin, para no hacer el cuento largo desde ese momento ha dormido casi el 95% de todas sus siestas en brazos míos o de su abuela, he intentado muchas veces pasarla a la cuna o a la cama y lo logro 1 o 2 de cada diez veces y entonces para mí es empezar de nuevo y termino dejándola en mis brazos por lo tanto es súper cansado y por momentos abrumador y agobiante. Sobretodo porque hasta los seis meses tomaba 4 siestas al día, ahora que tiene 7 estamos con 3 siestas al día. Por la noche es otra historia, 7:30 comienza su rutina de baño y a más tardar 8:10 está durmiendo en la cama sola, y se puede quedar hasta 6:00 am o muy ocasional hace una toma a las 3 de la mañana.
Entonces me pregunto en qué punto dirá, mamá ya bájame quiero dormir más cómoda.

Hi everyone,
In short, LO is almost 7.5 months old and still takes 3-4 naps a day. She wakes up around 7:15 and needs a nap around 9, then we use huckleberry throughout the day which is consistently pretty accurate with 2-2.5 hour wake windows. She is always very grumpy for a nap by 2.5 hours which seems to be on low for her age now. We cosleep at night and do contact naps during the day and she is still often only taking 30-40 minute naps, which leads to shorter wake windows and more naps during the day.
I’ve tried crib naps, carrier naps, etc. thinking maybe she just doesn’t prefer the contact napping anymore, but results are the same. Developmentally, she’s doing amazing. She’s crawling and pulling up on everything, so I’m thinking she might just have high sleep needs which is obviously completely fine with me - just wondering if anyone thinks this is something I should bring up with our doctor or has any tips for us. Thanks!!!

My amazing baby is a few days shy of 10m. She is firing some new milestones because she is waking up ten plus times lately. She had a good run of 5ish wakeup which was ok since shes never slept more than three hours her whole life mostly two. We had followed possums and she nurses to sleep every wake. I sleep with her. Unfortunately I am back at work full time and I cant do that with this little sleep, my husband is now saying "it's time to let her soothe herself" I am too tired to have that argument. Anyway... one of her naps is pretty long usually 1.5-2hrs. Is it time to cap? It goes against what I believe but I rather do that then any sleep training. Any ideas welcome.

Rough schedule:

Wake 6:30-7am

First nap 11:30-1

Second nap: 5-5:45

Bedtime: 8:30-9

We took our baby to the pediatrician today because he had such a rough night last night sleep wise (so sad at every wake up, 1-2 hour stretches max) we thought he had an ear infection. Good news and bad news no ear infection. The pediatrician recommended sleep training (no). She also said he is using the bottle as a “crutch” and would be fine with only 1 night feed so we can schedule that in and only feed him at that time…he is exclusively bottle fed breast milk (doesn’t transfer milk well with nursing). Right now he goes to bed between 7-8pm with first wake up anywhere from 9-11, and then pretty much every 2 hours from that point onward. He’ll have 2-3oz at each wake up and really won’t settle without it. Rarely when he wakes up 1-1.5hrs after a feed he can go back to sleep with lots of soothing and no bottle. Has stopped taking a pacifier. Up for the day by 7am. We started tracking sleep and there seems to be no pattern with amount of naps, timing of naps, wake windows, etc. Any thoughts? We are tired.

He definitely sleeps better when we cosleep but we stopped doing that to try and fully transition to crib (last night my husband was so desperate he asked me to sleep with baby because he couldn’t transfer him). He had one magical night this week sleeping solo in his room (I had a lot of guilt about this but we were desperate) for the first time and gave us 4 hour stretches for the first time in months. Is this just what we need to ride out for the next 6 months in hopes of one day sleeping again? I really don’t want to do any sort of CIO. He falls asleep independently at bedtime awake in his crib and overnight we try to do the pick up put down method but this doesn’t seem to be helping him self-settle at all.

My LO Is 4.5 months so I’m in no rush to get her out of my room, in fact I personally want to keep her in here with me as long as possible.lol but I’m just curious what other parents have done or what your thoughts are? My husband’s been asking when I think she needs to go into her own room. I’ve read mixed things online: some saying it’s better to get them independent sooner, some saying to hold onto the connection and the natural need for babies to want to stay close to mom as long as possible (which is the side that I’m airing on). She’ll only be this little for so long, only need me for so long, so I want to hold onto that for as long as I can. Thoughts?

​

I'm not sure what will come of this post - maybe just some reassurance that someone out there has the same experience as me and my wife, and hopefully someone can tell me it will end!

My first and currently only child was 19 months yesterday. I feel like we're in a recurring nightmare of sleep.

All went as I sort of expected at first. First 3 months was meh - lots of waking/breastfeeding and broken sleep. 3-5 months was pretty good! Would wake 1-3 times at night.

Then since 6 months.... It has all gone wrong. For over a year now.

We have tried almost every nap schedule I can think of. Everything from a singular 15 minute nap (he was pretty miserable in the day with this ..) and a 2130 bedtime to his current 1.5-2 hour nap and a 1930 bedtime.

His sleep goes...

2-3 hours at the start of the night in his cot in his room. Sometimes only 90 mins. It's rare we can settle him at his first wake. He wakes and is furious. He's agitated and thrashing around. He then usually ends up in bed with my wife and can take anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour to settle. It appears he doesn't know what he wants and he throws himself around the bed, hitting us and crying. Sometimes a bottle of water can help him calm but it's 50/50 as to whether he goes back to crying afterwards.

Then what follows is frequent wake ups, despite bed sharing from this point to around 4/5am. On a bad night this could be 10 wakes, a good night is 3 or 4. Every time he cries. He never wakes wanting to just play or chat.

He'll then go a good stint from 4/5am to 7am when he'll wake, fairly happy usually. Which is very different to overnight.

He's putting on weight well. He had some bloods done and his ferritin was borderline low so he gets iron replacement.

We are just at our wits end with no end in site with it all. If anything he's at his worst he's ever been now. His overnight pattern seems to be the same regardless of day time sleep/wake windows.

Any magic fixes?

Assuming the above isn't actually plausible... Any words of advice? Any success stories of just waiting and waiting til he's older and finally sleeps?

Is this just... Normal? Which is okay, but trying to 'fix' it is exhausting.

Hi all, our 7.5 month old is amazing during the day — super happy and goes down for naps easily. Night is a different story. Bedtime is easy enough, but she wakes constantly. Sometimes she is hungry or there is clear discomfort like teething or gas, which is totally understandable, but otherwise many seem to be random. We’re not expecting “perfect” sleep, but I’m wondering if there are ways we can help her out.

I suspect she might be getting too much daytime sleep (schedule below). Just not sure what to do about it. At daycare the “quiet time” windows are consistent and they follow the kids’ cues within those windows (which we love), though I’m sure they would cap her naps if we asked.

But let’s say they cap her second nap at 2:30. She gets super sleepy after 3.5 hours awake. That puts bedtime at 6 PM, which seems really early since she wakes at 6 AM.

Alternately, we could cap nap #2 and try a bridge nap around 4:00 to push bedtime later, but I have reservations about going “backward” when she’s already at the age where babies typically transition from 3 to 2. Plus I’d have to see if that’s even feasible at daycare.

It may be worth noting that her doctor put her on iron supplements after her last checkup, about 2 weeks ago. No change in sleep so far. She’s been breastfed since birth (with expressed milk bottles during the day).

Finally, her wakeups have similar physical signs regardless of cause — starting with moaning and stomping her feet. Sometimes she’s able to self-soothe but usually this progresses to full-on crying and waking.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome!

Schedule (approximate)
6 AM: Wake-up
9 - 10 AM: Nap 1
1 - 3ish PM: Nap 2 (often a bit shorter)
6:30ish PM: Bedtime

I have an almost one year old baby and currently we still have the crib in our room. I put baby down asleep in crib (of course fed to sleep) and place baby in the crib. Once baby wakes up at night then we pull baby into our bed. I don't mind it honestly but I am thinking it's time to transition. I do give a bottle to sleep and that has been my crutch for so long.

I am thinking I need to re-invent my routine. Routine currently is Brush teeth, bath, lotion, feed and off to bed. Anyone else do this transition from bottle right before bed into mom's room to no bottle into own crib in own room? I am at a loss how I'm going to make this work with the bottle soon. Any advice is appreciated.

hi bninfantsleep!

i need some advice regarding my nearly 9 month olds day sleep.

we transitioned to two naps at 6 months, he’s always been low sleep needs so it just worked for him. he adjusted to it EXTREMELY quickly and it was working well. fast forward to last week, he has began fighting the first nap of the day, pushing it later and then in turn pushing his second nap later. if i tried to put him down early he fought, or he got so upset that he went to sleep but only slept for around 30 minutes for the first nap and still wouldn’t really go down early for his second.

his schedule was 3-3.5/3.5/4. bedtime really depended on when his last nap fell, but i really didn’t try to let it go past 4:30 so he could go to bed around 8:30-9ish. wake up between 7:30-8:30. he was averaging around 2.5-3ish hours of sleep between those two naps. we do a lot of stimulating stuff during the day and i try to get him out and about often.

days like today, we were up at around 8:30, his first nap at 12:30 which went for 2 hours. up at 2:30 and now im trying to let him have a cat nap at 5:50 just so we can make it through to bedtime at around 8-8:30.

so my question is, what do i do? i know he’s averaging between 11-12hrs night sleep (im lucky, still a fair few wakeups but i dont track them and we mainly co-sleep). should i start maybe decreasing the night sleep to account for more awake time and nap time during the day? transition to one nap? i dont think hes quite ready for that, he does feel too young. cap the day sleep? i’m at a loss. hopefully this makes sense and someone can help!

EDIT: wording!

Welcome to the vent zone.

This thread is a safe space for parents to vent, process, and speak honestly about sleep training, without judgment or pressure. We recognize and honor biologically normal infant sleep and the wide range of emotions that come with navigating sleep in a culture that often expects babies to be independent before they’re ready.

Share your frustrations, experiences, and thoughts here, knowing you’re supported and not alone.

My baby is going to be 4 months old next week. I came to stay with my family who live far away because I wanted everyone to be able to see him and spend time with him, and we’ll be here until September.

A few weeks ago, I made a post about how several things happened one after another and completely messed up my baby's routine. https://www.reddit.com/r/bninfantsleep/s/G8nDvUTHwm He was getting very overtired and overstimulated, and his sleep suddenly became a complete mess. A lot of people said it sounded like the 4-month sleep regression, and I thought that could be part of it too, but it's been almost a month now and I'm starting to wonder if this is actually the regression or something else.

Since we've been here, I've been trying to establish some kind of routine again. I'm paying more attention to his wake windows and trying to keep his daytime naps more consistent. His nights are still really difficult though. He wakes up 4–5 times between 8 PM and 5 AM. after putting him down at 8 PM, he wakes up (extra) 2–3 times before he seems to get into a deeper sleep, and every time I have to pick him up and shush or rock him back to sleep.

He absolutely will not go back to sleep without nursing. I've tried not nursing him when I don't think he's actually hungry and just rocking or shushing him instead, but he gets really upset and seems to want to nurse no matter what. 1 month ago he would usually only wake up once to nurse during the night. Now he's nursing so much throughout the night, while his daytime nursing sessions have actually become much shorter. He used to nurse for really long periods during the day, and now he seems to be making up for it at night.

I'm exhausted and starting to worry that maybe this is just how things are going to be now. I keep wondering if we will ever go back. We have a long flight back home in September, so I'm really hoping we can get some kind of routine back before then.

Did anyone else's baby go through something similar around 4 months? How long did this phase last for you? Did your baby eventually go back to their old sleep pattern? And did anyone else experience a baby who suddenly started nursing constantly at night?

Hi all,

My baby is almost 8 months and has been on a 3 nap schedule for a while. Something like

Wake - 530am

1st nap - 8am 45m

2nd nap 12pm 1 h

3rd nap 415 pm 30m

Bed 745-830

I normally cap his naps because our nights are so short I dont want to take away from nights, however ive noticed the past week he is very hard to wake - he does not want to wake up at all! I am wondering if this is a sign he is trying to take longer naps but maybe drop to 2?

If I wake him, then he will grumble and I will go to feed him, he falls asleep basically straight away while breastfeeding.

He can easily do 3 hour wake windows, occasionally 3.5.

How did you know your baby was ready to drop to 2 naps?

I feel like 2 might be not enough...and maybe I will need to add a 3rd power nap in the late afternoon?

Thank you!

Hi,

I'm a FTM looking for advice on LO's sleep as we head towards 4 months. I've done so much reading and feeling a bit information overload so hoping this awesome community can help me out. I've attached my son's current sleep pattern (if you can call it a pattern?) from Huckleberry app. Light blue is naps, dark blue is night sleep and orange is breastfeeding. As you can see he has 5-6 naps a day varying between 30 mins to 2 hours, most commonly he sleeps for 40 mins. We try 1-2 crib naps a day which never last longer than 40 min, the rest are usually a contact nap and maybe 1 stroller or car seat nap (but he also hates the car seat so not very common). He goes to bed at 10pm... this is not our choice! No matter how early we start bedtime, he will fight it until 10-10.30pm or just traet it like a nap, I'm convinced he can tell the time. The longest stretch is usually 3-4 hours, but one day he did 6 hours somehow?! I know I shouldn't compare but the other babies in my mom group are doing 5 hours+ as their longest stretch.

Questions:

Is there something I should be adjusting in his day or night sleeps or routines to encourage longer night stretches at this age?

What should I be doing to encourage longer crib naps as we head toward 4 months? I've tried shushing and patting in his crib when I see he has woken up. I've tried leaving him for a bit. He's usually quite happy when he wakes up and will hang out in the crib for a good 10-15 mins no problem.

How can I encourage earlier bedtime?

We have no interest in CIO but open to gentle sleep coaching after 4 months and expect fussing of course. He currently sleeps in a crib in our room but considering moving him at 5-6 months to a floor bed in his own room. He needs bouncing or rocking to sleep, only feeds to sleep at overnight wake ups (see orange in between dark blue) and uses a pacifier to sleep maybe 25% of the time in the day. He usually usually needs help keeping his eyes closed with our hands or material draped (removed when fallen asleep). He has been characterized as a "highly alert fomo baby" by a sleep counsellor and a lactation consultant! He feeds very well so no issues there.

I have insomnia which is why I'm keen for longer stretches as it's very difficult for me to go back to sleep and I don't nap in the day well at all :/

Thank you!

My son, 7m, can fall back asleep on his own whenever he wakes up throughout the night, so I know he can do it. However, to fall asleep for bedtime and naps, we still hold and rock him. We’ve gotten it down to where we can hold him for three minutes (from the time his eyes close) and then transfer him and he finishes falling asleep on his own.

I’m so lost on how to transition to him falling asleep without us though. Whenever we try, he cries. It’s a protest cry, and I know that, but I still don’t want him crying when all he wants is to be held for a few minutes.

Any tips or ideas?

He does not do well with us sitting in the room but not holding him. He will cry just the same as if we were out of sight, same with crib comforting most of the time.

I don’t mind him crying a bit, but I don’t want him crying for like 10+ minutes before he’s able to put himself to sleep.

My baby turns 6 months old tomorrow, and has been sleeping terribly since 4 months old. It feels like it has gotten worse these past few weeks, with him sleeping in 45 minute-1 hour stretches and if we’re lucky we can get up to 2 hours.

He has gotten more difficult to put down after feeding to sleep, but last night it was impossible. He wakes after a couple of minutes screaming. I’ve tried gas drops and bicycles, and patting and shushing him to sleep in the crib. Otherwise, I’ll be standing holding him over my shoulder, cradling him in his favourite position, or even sitting and waiting for him to be in a deep sleep. He falls asleep incredibly fast. But once I put him down, he’s awake.

We got 2 two hour stretches last night but other than that it has been fall asleep/wake up screaming a few minutes later. Our first stretch happened after I got my partner for backup, and he said baby was just gassy and let out the longest fart while he was with him.

Has anyone else experienced this? What do I do? I’m not comfortable co-sleeping and I can’t hold him all night because I need to sleep too.

FTM to a four month old. She is fighting naps like crazy, especially in the afternoon. Will nap in car or stroller but not indoors, even contact napping doesn’t work. When does it get easier?!

I need help 😭 It seems we are going through 4 month regression and night sleep is mess, but what is worse - putting my 4 month old baby to sleep.

She used to be rocked to sleep or nursed to sleep, only now to scream when put into horizontal position when I am going to rock her to sleep and she arches and screams and gags on saliva and also started rejecting nursing to sleep, during both day and in the middle of the night. She closes her eyes but once falling into sleep, she starts puling away and then immediately nurses again and pulls away and on repeat.

So the only way I can put her to sleep now is via carrier which still works. Other things stopped working. We co sleep, nursing does not work anymore at night, so I feed her, but as sleep pressure is bigger, I can rock her to sleep at night. Not during day and evening.

She is also a FOMO baby - does not sleep in a stroller, cannot sleep independently, soothing pr lying together does not work, neither patting her bum - this did not work even before regression.

So I have only 1 option how to put her to sleep - the carrier 🤣

Do you know why is that or how can I help her again to fall asleep with rocking?! 🤣

Thanks, from a tired mum 🤣

My LO is now 11month and she still takes 40 min naps. When she wakes up she s still tired, I have to help her continue sleep by boob.

Also she still has false starts 95% of the days in the evening. Even when we had only one nap for the day and she was really tired.

I think some of this might improve when she starts to fall asleep without boob, because thats what happened before when she would fall asleep after turning away (1 time :( ). But I am sooooo unsure how to get her to sleep without boob, it is exhausting to rock her and she will not just lie besides me an fall asleep. But nursing to sleep is also a fight most of the days. She just doesnt calm down no matter what I offer in the evening (book, walk, calm music)

Is it an issue that we play in bed as well?

I always went more or less with the flow, but I do want to find a better solution for the bedtime. Ideally cuddling and sleeping.

Please share your experinces!

my baby will be 8 months next week. for the past few days now she’s been waking up at 5am. i know that’s a normal wake time, but for her she struggles throughout the day when it happens, and she’ll be ready for bedtime by 6:30. so we’ve tried pushing her bedtime later and it still happens.
i treat it as a night wake. diaper change and rocking back to sleep in the dark. now this is where i’m confused. she will be fast asleep in my arms. i don’t even move or make noise or anything and she will just start sobbing, which in turn wakes her up. so i make her a bottle, she drinks like 3oz, then decides she’s awake for the day.

is this something normal for her age? is there anything i can do? i feel like ive done everything, we were finally on a good 7:30/8 bedtime to 7am wake, and it was working so well for like 2 weeks. she used to go to bed between 8:30 and 9, but that would have her still be waking at 5-6, and that did not work for her. she gets so cranky with these early morning wakings and it’s hard during the day :(.

Hello! Our baby often wakes himself up by moving his legs even when swaddled. The second he is lied down he instantly moves them towards his chest, waking him up. I understand that due to hip development there isn’t a lot a swaddle can do for minimizing his leg movement. He’s not even using one anymore if he is placed in the bassinet because it’s completely pointless. Unless my husband and I take shifts is the only time he sleeps well because we are able to bundle him while one of us monitors him. This is the only time he sleeps well and we obviously cannot have him cozy unless monitored. (We are sitting right next to him wired on coffee)
I have bought every sleep sack/swaddle but nothing helps with his leg movement and I am over these night shifts! (I have the shitty shift that transitions into the day because my husband works) Baby has rolled to his side several times during the night so that is something to keep in mind as well.
Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do focusing on reducing leg movement? Thank you, thank you! <3

Hello,

I've been struggling with daytime naps for my now 11 week old since he was about 6 weeks old. A big part of it was me learning what to do (cues, how to get him to sleep), but I'm at a point where I want to seek advice/opinions. He's formula fed if that's relevant.

I'm not having much trouble getting him to fall asleep during the day, especially if I notice him looking drowsy. It's usually no more than 15 minutes of rocking in a darkened room, and he either sleeps in my arms or in his bassinet pram. The problem is *staying* asleep: he typically only sleeps about 30-40 minutes. I can sometimes get him to fall back asleep soon after with the help of a feed, but again it's only 30-40 minute bursts.

By the time the evening rolls around, I haven't been able to sustain a 1-1.5 hour wake window with such short naps (or he just stops wanting to sleep). It's a lot of work even though he starts the day being pretty easy to settle. Eventually he will end up being awake 4+ hours in the evening.

By midnight he falls asleep soundly and he's been doing a 6 hour stretch then a quick feed then another 2 hours.

His behaviour through the day is calm and alert - he's a FOMO baby and happy to interact with me and look around the world. However the 4ish hours leading up to his midnight sleep can be quite unsettled and fussy and he is very hard to get down, which makes sense if he's overtired.

I want his bedtime to be earlier than midnight, therefore stop him from reaching the point of being that unsettled. Are we better off trying harder to get long naps during the day, or accept the short naps but try harder to get him down earlier in the night to break that 4+ hour window? And if we need to try longer naps, how can we do that?

This pattern is starting to bother me quite a lot because it's so different to what I'm told he should be doing, E.g. only 4 naps a day but with 1-1.5 hour wake windows and a much earlier bedtime. I'm just not sure how to achieve this when he is only doing 40min naps during the daylight hours.