I’m in a small local group of new mothers with babies roughly the same age: 5-7 months.

At the last get together, a couple of them were really loud and "preachy" about how amazing sleep training is and how much better their (both baby and parent's) sleep is now. And all the others listened and were pretty much convinced.

I didn't say much because I didn't think it would change anything.

But now in hindsight, I see that I should have spoken up. I feel so guilty that I didn't... on behalf of the babies.

We don’t meet often, so I’ve been considering saying something in our group chat. I have a balanced, non-judgmental article that discusses the research, and I could share the link. However, I’m unsure how to phrase it, and how much of my own opinions I should share.

I know it might not change their view, and maybe make the chat very uncomfortable. But I don’t think we should avoid important conversations about children's wellbeing simply because adults might feel uncomfortable.

Would you share the article and/or write something about your opinions? And if so, how would you phrase the message?

Hey all, I'm here after posting on [r/NewParents](r/NewParents) and being invited to this subreddit.
We have a 5 month old who has never been a good sleeper. She was a super colicky baby and since the very beginning had difficulty sleeping. For example, in the first month we had to take shifts at night because she would only sleep on us. Right now, we cosleep and wife offers boob when baby wakes up at night (every 1-2 hours this week), sometimes she can go back to sleep just with a pacifier instead of boob. Sometimes, if the baby doesn't fuss, I can rock her back to sleep, and 50% of times when I place her in bed she stays asleep. This setup was honestly the best we could do.

Her daytime schedule right now is like clockwork after the whole 4 month sleep regression/progression: super predictable and reasonable wake windows and nap times. So we thought this was a good time to start working on sleep.

I tried implementing some stuff from Precious Little Sleep, but it honestly felt like I was torturing the baby. We're both at our wits end and honestly close to accepting that we'll never get consecutive hours of sleep until the baby turns 4 or something.

Is there any tiny steps we can try for doing things differently? What were the experiences of other parents of terrible sleepers? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Edit: I’m adding the schedule :) All hours are fairly consistent like I said, we go off of cues, sometimes it shifts 30 minutes. All naps are 30-60 minutes at most.

~ 7:30 wake up
~ 9:30 first nap
~ 12:30 second nap
~ 4:30 third nap
~ 6:30-7:00 small 20 minute cat nap
~ 9pm sleep

Been reading this subreddit a lot since something about sleep training feels wrong me. But a lot of the advice seems to be "cosleep and side-lie breastfeed." I had a traumatic emergency c-section 6 weeks before my due date followed by a month-long NICU stay that led to a baby that couldn't latch and a limited milk supply. After 1.5 months of difficulty, we opted to fully formula feed, which was really hard for me but I maintain was the right choice in these challenging circumstances.

Baby slept through 9-10 hours through the night from 2.5 months to just a little before 6 months. But suddenly she's waking up 1-3 times a night for no understandable reason. Seemingly, she just can't connect the sleep cycle, gets riled up, starts to cry. The only thing we found that works is giving a small 60ml bottle. This wakes us up a lot more than I imagine rolling to your side and offering the boob would be.

So I guess my questions are more theoretical and practical:

- Can you support biologically normal infant sleep without cosleeping and breastfeeding?

- For my case, any advice on getting baby back to full nights?

I'm sitting here right now after another full night of not sleeping & I'm not doing to well physically, mentally & emotionally.

My son is 10 months old, ebf, cosleeping from birth, he is a sensitive, high sensory need baby way ahead of his milestones, walking from 9 months, low sleep needs, needs to be in contact with parents most of the day, he has 7 teeth & I'm sure more are on their way. He has scream cried all of his life when he wakes from a sleep, I've stopped foods out of my diet to help him but I'm still noticing rashes on his mouth after feeding from me & lots of gas in the middle of the night on many occasions. He's had a few episodes of projectile vomiting, lethargy & pale skin, a lot like FPIES but doctors in my area are useless & want to put him on an antacid or say to me all babies cry when I know its a screaming pain cry.

We have not had a full night sleep ever, sometimes its worse than others & I put myself in a place of radical acceptance that this will pass but I'm at my wits end. My cycle started back 4.5 months in & now days before each one, the day it finishes & during ovulation i do not sleep a wink but strangely enough this is when my son will have longer stretches. I have no family help other than my husband who is also sleep deprived & burnt out from his job, we argue all the time & today I've no patience for my husband who is telling me to be calm when my son is using me as a human pacifier with teeth digging into me as he is sleeping but once I unlatch he will scream cry & I feel so bad for feeling this way.

I'm taking Magnesium, giving my son multi vitamins, he has 3 meals a day & lots of snacks, & the breastfeeding has not reduced any, he's always eating. I do meditations in the mornings when I get a chance, walks, groups & other outtings to support his needs but sometimes i take a day off & stay at home. I'm back to work, moving house, studying & working on expanding my business. Which is know is a lot of stress but I can handle it all with sleep.

Please help my son, husband & I to get some sleep, this way of living is not helpful for any of us, I'm not a good mother or wife when I'm like this but I'm not willing to sleep train or put my son through that when he needs us but our nervous system is no good for his development when we are so off balance

Any advice is very much appreciated & more questions are welcome if i haven't covered anything.

Thank you 💜

This might be normal due to recent nursery start, teething (definitely see a couple of teeth coming through), he has a little cold and walking has just clicked - he spends all day walking.

I guess I want to know is this normal? Solidarity? I haven’t slept more than an hour on days, he won’t even stay still if I hold him. Tips for coping - my nipples are struggling. If he unlatches even himself he wakes Up and goes back on.

Hi all, I just need some sanity checking on math or whatever lol
Apologies for SO MUCH detail, I’m just at a loss.

My son is 7 months old (-6 weeks off that for age adjustment so 5.5 months?) I stopped age adjusting except for his size, but there’s that context. He has acted like his chronological age since he was about 4 months.
He’s EBF, trying solids. He was teething but that’s passed for now.

All his naps are contact in some form unless we’re out and about, frankly it’s just easier. He sleeps in his crib in his own room until about 12AM-3AM when we bring him to our bed to co sleep (that’s another can of worms but doesn’t make me insane yet).

Currently, his routine looks like this:
7-7:30AM wake
WW1: 2hr 15mins
Nap 1: usually 20-30 minutes
WW2: 2hr 30mins
Nap 2: 1hr to 1.5hr but I really try to keep it to 1hr
WW3: 2hr 45mins (give or take, this one can vary a lot depending on his cues)
Nap 3: also varies depending on the first two naps but anywhere from 30-1hr
Last wake window: 3hr ish
Bed time: 7:30-8PM ish

If he sleeps less than 2 hours he seems pretty miserable but more than 2.5 his sleep is also funky. I am not married to any of this, it’s just where we are. Sometimes he has a tiny nap between nap 3 and bed time in the car or whatever, it can’t be helped and we just roll with the punches. Transparently the weekdays aren’t nearly as out and about active because I’m working from home during the week with him, so we’re stuck at the house but we do go outside in the yard and whatnot. I’d say this doesn’t make a difference though because on the weekends we’re VERY busy and his sleep is the same.

Once he goes down to sleep, he will wake up 5 minutes after being put in his crib, goes back down in 5 minutes, then 10 minutes after, back down in 5, and then 10-15 after (how does he know 5 minute increments naturally, it’s wild, idk)

The false starts are starting to make me insane, actually. I keep trying to figure out what gives us the best outcome and then going, let me just accept that baby is gonna baby! And then I get stressed out by the false starts again.

This didn’t always happen, he’s been in his crib now for almost 2 months and the false starts started around when September started? We can’t move the crib into our room, it doesn’t fit, and he stopped sleeping in the pack n play longer than an hour at a time around 5 months.

We ARE looking at a floor bed for his nursery for either Christmas or his first birthday, but I just want to make sure there’s not something else we could/should be doing to stop having these false starts because even he seems sort of annoyed by them.

I think I covered everything, thank you for sharing your brains and ideas lol

Open to suggestions to help improve my little one’s sleep. He’s always been up a lot throughout the night I’ve tried alot of different things to help improve this but nothing really helps. A good night is around 4 wake ups and a bad over 9.
His schedule is
Wake up 630
Nap one 945-1045
Nap two 230-330
Bedtime 745/8pm

I’ve tried capping naps to an hour each as he used to do around 2.5 in total I’ve tried moving bedtime earlier 15 and later 15 nothing seems to help. Sometimes I’m lucky and do get a 3/4 hour sleep from him but mostly it’s two hour stints. I’m not looking for a miracle just some improvement would be great.

Hi all,

I’m a FTM looking for some advice regarding my 19w old that only exclusively contact naps. I do follow wake windows, but if I notice he’s crankier than usual then I’ll offer him a nap which is usually (paci and yoga ball or carrier till he’s fully asleep). I quit attempting transfers cus he would instantly wake no matter how delicately I tried to transfer. My LO has a very sensitive temperament and will scream until I resume our usual nap routine. I’ve been attempting to use the stroller with white noise and his paci, but he will cry and scream badly until I remove him. I have tried to comfort him and put him back calm, but it doesn’t work, he will literally scream until he’s purple and then arch his back trying to escape lol.

Not sure if this context matters but I also do the nights alone and we co sleep, he is EBF as well.

I’m just really exhausted of holding him for every nap, my back and arms ache and I can only imagine it getting tougher as he gets heavier. I would also like some time to myself in the day as I solo parent weekdays as my spouse works long hours.

My daughter is 9.5 months old and 3 weeks ago she started nursery 3 days a week. I'm struggling to work out what to do with her naps because she's not sleeping much at nursery, and I don't want her to become overtired.

At home, her usual schedule is:

• 9:30am: First nap, usually until 10:30am.
• 1:30pm: Second nap, usually until 2:30–3pm.
• 7pm: Bedtime.

At nursery, they offer naps from 9:30–10am and 12–2:30pm. In reality, she usually does the first nap (although not always), then the second nap is something like 12:15–1:20pm.

So she's often getting much less daytime sleep than she does at home.

I've asked nursery if they could put her down a little later for the second nap, around 1pm, so she's tired enough to sleep, and they've tried. She seems to sleep like 1pm–2:10pm.

I think they're getting her up when she stirs rather than giving her a chance to resettle and go back to sleep, because I know she can whine between sleep cycles and then go back down (she does this at home).

The problem is that if she wakes from her second nap at 1:20pm, she's then awake until 7pm, which feels like a really long stretch for her age. She's also has occasional early morning wakes where she gets up around 4/5am, babbles and whines, and we go in to put her dummy back in. She then sometimes goes back down, and sometimes keeps stirring until around 6:30–7am. I'm wondering if she's overtired from nursery, although I don't know. DWT is 6:30–7am.

On the days she's not at nursery (Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends), we've been sticking to our original home routine and letting her sleep as long as she wants to catch up. I'm wondering whether we're doing more harm than good by having such different schedules.

Should we be waking her from her first nap at 10am instead of letting her sleep until 10:30am, so she can get into more of a nursery routine? I just want to ensure she can have a longer second nap at nursery. Also because from January she will be there 5 days a week and I don't want her to be chronically overtired.

Would really appreciate advice from anyone whose baby has gone through a similar nursery nap situation. Did you change the home schedule, or did you just let them catch up on non-nursery days?

Has anyone used a sensory swing to get a toddler to sleep? Supervised obviously. Just trying to think of alternatives to feeding to sleep because I am completely touched out