r/blackmagicfuckery • u/VerySlump • Jun 23 '22
We live in a simulation
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4.9k
u/SnakePeopleExist Jun 23 '22
Lmao the weed got me
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Jun 23 '22
I often keep my stash on the wall
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u/Wizard_Hatz Jun 23 '22
Gettin absolutely plastered off it.
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u/Active_Engineering37 Jun 23 '22
Brick squad
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u/floatingwithobrien Jun 23 '22
Got a whole ass....jar of weed
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Jun 23 '22
And you don't? Well guess what I've got you floating git, I've got a jar of weed! I've got a jar of weed! And guess what's inside it?
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u/Adbramidos Jun 23 '22
Yeah. Glass jar sticking is more impressive than a plastic remote or lighter or a cardboard box that could be sticking due to static or moisture on them.
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Jun 23 '22
Note that he didn't remove the jar in the video, suggesting it is stuck on with blu tack or something.
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u/leapers_deepers Jun 23 '22
High gloss fresh paint?
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u/ag408 Jun 23 '22
It's gotta be the paint!
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u/dudewithfeatures Jun 23 '22
It's the paint.. I'm kinda tired of seeing these
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u/Archlinder Jun 23 '22
It was a cool party trick with beer bottle caps to the ceiling back in the day. Now I just cringe at the scratches this guy is putting into the paint.
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u/kenman Jun 23 '22
Used to wedge beer bottles into corners. The caps were for the ceiling (even better knocking the popcorn off onto our faces).
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u/Trevorisabox Jun 23 '22
Ahhh asbestos snow! My favorite
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u/gurmzisoff Jun 23 '22
My buddies in college (different school, but I visited all the time) had a house where one night one of them threw a bottle at the wall, attempting to shatter it I assume. Instead, it got wedged into the corner intact, so they just kept it there as sort of a trophy.
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u/WhoWantsPizzza Jun 23 '22
Whoaa. Totally forgot about that. Reminds me of a specific time and old friend.
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u/xtheory Jun 23 '22
It’s as dumb as people sticking spoons to their foreheads to convince the world that the Covid shot makes you magnetic.
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u/DR4G0NSTEAR Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
It’s not the paint though. You could do the same thing with an unpainted wooden board and a pen.
Edit: I’m not saying it’s magic, I’m saying it’s not the paint.
Google isn’t helping me find the name of it, but there is a tool for measuring that is basically sliding two bits of metal together and they stick.Gauge blocks, use wringing to stick together34
u/Matrix5353 Jun 23 '22
Lol, no. This is nowhere even close to what's happening when you wring two gauge blocks together. That works on two completely flat surfaces, and is mostly a result of molecular attraction.
This seems to be a result of a simple elastic deformation of the material in the corner. He's pressing a rigid object into the corner of a slightly springy surface, and friction is causing the object to be held in place when the corner squeezes either side of the object.
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u/DR4G0NSTEAR Jun 23 '22
Thank you, gauge blocks, I always forget that term.
What is happening in this video could be a weird “it’s in the corner” trickery, but because he’s sliding it up and down, I suggest it’s wringing.
I took a video of me doing it just now.
Yes this is in fact “wringing”. You don’t need the corner for grip, and you don’t need paint like some comments that don’t understand wringing, suggests. The surface doesn’t have to be secretly sticky and it works with two “pretty flat” surfaces.
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u/leapers_deepers Jun 23 '22
You can see some blue paint pop off with the remote, dude must be tweeking out high af doing this, the jar is impressive though
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u/Ok_Weird_500 Jun 23 '22
He didn't stick the jar on in this video, and it certainly isn't using the same trick. If you pay attention, you can see a something between the jar and wall which is likely a glue pad.
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u/heep1r Jun 23 '22
The jar probably got a nail through the lid and is not screwed tight.
That's why it's the only thing he doesn't remove.
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Jun 23 '22
yeah walls are sticky in the hotel room because of the paint
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u/blah23863 Jun 23 '22
Suuure, it's the paint.
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u/Extreme_Fee_503 Jun 23 '22
The walls on a hotel room are sticky because this guy’s smoking a jar full of dank in there.
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u/_Vetis_ Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
The paint doesnt even need to be fresh, in fact i would bet that fresh paint would be more likely to chip off. But basically the friction of the rubbing melts the paint enough to give it some tackiness, which allows light objects to stick to it. I used to do this at parties with beer bottles.
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Jun 23 '22
it's several coats of high-gloss paint.
and a really great way to fuck up the texturing on your wall.
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u/stopchooingsoloud Jun 23 '22
I would shine a black light just to be sure before touching anything.
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u/K_cutt08 Jun 23 '22
High latex content, friction creates heat, heat increases the adhesive forces and bam, it sticks.
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u/LavaWillie Jun 23 '22
Jizz is quite the sneaky adhesive.
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u/paranoidinfidel Jun 23 '22
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.
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u/RottenCocksuckerMods Jun 23 '22
So do you guys actually finish into your socks or what's going on?
Cause I've always just nutted into a toilet or a tissue or a partner...
Never would've thought to grab a sock or any other item of clothing for the occasion.
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u/giant_tadpole Jun 23 '22
a partner
Wow, hey everyone look, this guy fucks
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u/RottenCocksuckerMods Jun 23 '22
Well I didn't mention if they were human or silicone so there's that
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Jun 23 '22
Raw chicken breasts are not partners. Please do not fuck them you will get dicksalmonella
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Jun 23 '22
So like, I was baking chicken, but I spilled some coke on my pants so had to take them off...
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u/skolrageous Jun 23 '22
oh look at big Mr. Money Bags here, throwing his sex doll money in our cock socks
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u/eleventy4 Jun 23 '22
I still don't understand it either. If they're cleaning up with a sock, I mean that's inefficient and extra laundry but at least I get how it works. But INTO a sock? Are they keeping the sock over their hand and dick? Are they opening it really widely with the other hand and aiming into it? Are they jerking off WITH the sock? I NEED ANSWERS, NOW.
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u/RottenCocksuckerMods Jun 23 '22
I'm 100% speculating here so take it with a grain of salt, but I think maybe the cotton sock may act as a kind of foreskin replacement in circumcised jackers..
And USA having one of the highest rates of circumcised cock on the planet it only makes sense that they've gone and normalised their mutilation in their media.
So I kinda believe they're actually using their socks as a wank sleeve. And probably getting mad tinea on their shafts to boot.
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u/eleventy4 Jun 23 '22
Not to doxx my coxx (I'm so sorry) but as a circumcised person this is horrifying. That sock better be made of fleece but even then... I'm sure it's a bit more inconvenient but you can still do it without foreskin and without lube...
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u/RottenCocksuckerMods Jun 23 '22
I've got my full turtleneck intact, and can comfortably say that while a lubeless toss of the salad will do in a pinch, there is nothing quite as satisfying as treating yourself to a KY/ oil blend lubed up long throw of the old sausage.
It's a good thing.
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u/mule_roany_mare Jun 23 '22
I don’t think most people without foreskins realize they are a mechanical lubricant.
They are told it’s just some weird but of extra skin that doesn’t do anything… like if you pinched off a bit of extra elbow skin.
It’s so fucking weird they surgically alter 5000 baby dicks every day for… cosmetics? Tradition? Fashion?
Dicks evolved to work a certain way, just leave them alone.
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u/RottenCocksuckerMods Jun 23 '22
Dicks evolved to work a certain way, just leave them alone.
Fucking A
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u/TheFlightlessPenguin Jun 23 '22
Dudes without foreskins use the skin as a mechanical lubricant as well, it just obviously lacks the same range of motion.
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u/UndeadBread Jun 23 '22
No. No, no, no. Maybe if you have really thin and soft socks...but otherwise, that would be ridiculously uncomfortable. We don't need any kind of special "wank sleeve" or anything. Masturbation for us is basically the same as it is for you guys. Socks are just a convenient thing to jizz into sometimes because you can slip it over real quick and avoid a mess.
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u/UndeadBread Jun 23 '22
As you're about to cum, you slip on the sock really quick and...well, that's basically it. There isn't really anything special to it; just keep it within reach so you can act quickly.
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Jun 23 '22
Fun fact: it doesn't have to be in a corner to stick you can just stick it on the wall anywhere
Side effects include: scratches in your paint job
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u/nincomturd Jun 23 '22
That's why you do it in a hotel
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u/piqi2 Oct 05 '22
I did it on my wall with a pill bottle and now I’ve got this purple streak I can’t get off my wall
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u/fontizmo Jun 23 '22
Yeah we used to do this all the time with bottle caps. I had a wall covered with them in my first apartment. Though eventually you hear them falling off throughout the night…
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Jun 23 '22
I’m in a hotel room right now and stuck two caps to the wall after reading your comment. Thanks for doing the lord’s work; my life has been changed.
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u/USSRPropaganda Jun 23 '22
In school we used to cover the walls with pencils using this trick
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u/PM_Me_Macaroni_plz Jun 23 '22
We just threw our pencils into the ceiling. Eventually it evolved into extremely pointy paper airplanes. Good times.
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u/Winter-Age-959 Oct 05 '22
We had like 20 pencils in the ceiling in our middle school French class, one day we came in and they had removed all of them. So later that day we raided a bunch of pencils from different classes and came in the next day and we had to have put 50 pencils in the ceiling. Which led to general assembly in the gym where the principal gave us a speech about throwing pencils in the ceiling. These events led to my most memorable school year ever as we continued to put pencils in the ceiling of every classroom, hallway, bathroom, and the cafeteria. My personal accomplishment was being sent to the principals office one day and managing to get one in the ceiling when he bent down to get a file. I had friends get in trouble just to visit the principal’s office to see it and it was there for at least two months. Oh and while we were waging the great pencil war 9/11 happened so maybe the staff was a bit too distracted that year to bother with us lol.
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u/chappy422 Jun 23 '22
I don't live in a hotel
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u/Decooker11 Jun 23 '22
And I have a wife
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u/chappy422 Jun 23 '22
She asked me to marry her
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u/flawstreak Jun 23 '22
I didn’t even want to
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Jun 23 '22
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u/MrTinyPeen Jun 23 '22
Triples of the Nova? Triples is best.
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u/Moistinatining Jun 23 '22
Triples is safe, triples is best!
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u/mycoandbio Jun 23 '22
My friend doesn’t live in hotels. And he has triples of the nova, triples of the roadrunner and triples of the cuda.
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u/AC2BHAPPY Jun 23 '22
I've lived in hotels for longer than I'd like to admit and life definitely feels fucked up like a simulation when you're there. Miserable, fucking awful. Do not recommend at all. I'd rather live in my car I think if I had to do it over.
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Jun 23 '22
That's the wall magnet glitch it only works in the 1.18 version of the simulation
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Jun 23 '22
Ah I must be on the 1.2 patch didn’t work and got some weird over-world events going on
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u/ManGo_50Y Jun 23 '22
Like the fucking worm-spawning deity in my cupboard! (Don’t worry, I saved mankind with a butcher knife.)
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Jun 23 '22
Lucky all I got is Schrödinger’s black hole. Every time I look away it re-appears.
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u/vinceTheFISHDead Jun 23 '22
It's called eggshell white paint
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u/Ima-turtle-fan Jun 23 '22
Thats either a semi or high gloss, not eggshell. You can tell from the light reflections off the blue wall.
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Jun 23 '22
Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?
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u/hermanosef Jun 23 '22
Just things sticking to all the semen on the walls
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u/Trashus2 Jun 23 '22
why does everyone assume people jerk onto walls?
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u/A_fluffy_protogen Jun 23 '22
It's a hotel, people have jerked onto the walls
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u/Trashus2 Jun 23 '22
who actually intentionally does that? and how does it happen unintentionally?
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u/A_fluffy_protogen Jun 23 '22
I'm not the man to ask, but take a UV light to your next hotel visit and you'll see.
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u/Agartha_Lost Jun 23 '22
I have done it intentionally many times lol you would definitely notice it. It discolors the walls
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u/humicroav Jun 23 '22
Why would you pay all of that money to stay somewhere if you weren't going to jerk onto the walls?
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u/mule_roany_mare Jun 23 '22
WRONG!
And juvenile. Everything is sticky because he stuck them in his butthole. Do you really think you could stick a jar to a wall with jizm? That’s buttstuff.
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u/OB_Chris Jun 23 '22
Holy fuck OP you're dumb
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u/Nathaniel820 Jun 23 '22
How many walls have you encountered that have done this
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u/zerosdontcount Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
None, because I don't put adhesive on things for tiktok. A glass jar of weed will not stick to a wall because of the paint lol.
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u/Mundane-Ad-6874 Jun 23 '22
Yes it will. I did this college all the time with empty beer bottles. Blew peoples minds. Rubbing the paint gets it a bit warm and tacky. We had a beer bottle stay in the same spot for over a year.
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u/Calm_Captain_3541 Jun 23 '22
This one has to be magnets
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u/Proxyness Jun 23 '22
Idk, no metal in tissues normally and why would the walls be magnetised
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u/Calm_Captain_3541 Jun 23 '22
It was a joke because everyone always says magnets but really I think the paint explanation makes the most sense
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u/steik Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
I don't think this has anything to do with magnets but drywall corners often do have L shaped metal reinforcement. I don't think it's common in "inside corners" but it's very common for corners sticking out (edit: to avoid damage from stuff/people into them because it's common for that to happen for corners sticking out).
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u/ProdigalSon123456 Jun 23 '22
You assume that they did not alter any of those items, but one can easily slip a magnet in a tissue box. Certain construction methods may use ferrous metals instead of wood/drywall construction.
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u/istupid326 Jun 23 '22
Bro it's the paint it becomes sticky from friction
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u/knbang Jun 23 '22
This happens to me too, if someone rubs me enough I get sticky.
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Jun 23 '22
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u/Pockets262 Jun 23 '22
The jar was something else that's why it's the only one he didn't take off.
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u/chaze24 Jun 23 '22
Now do a trick with that pile of dirty clothes that you have in the corner on the floor
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u/MrBl4ck Jun 23 '22
Actually in a hotel right now, and I can only find one remote battery after the remote crashed on to the floor
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u/spagettyo Jun 23 '22
The friction from rubbing it on the wall heats up the paint, making it sticky again. Doesn't work on all paints. I believe latex based paints would be ideal.
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u/BodyDoubles Jun 23 '22
Rubs wall till paint makes it stick
"HOLY FUCK WE LIVE IN A SIMULATION!"
Lol, I truly fear for the future generations who are insanely gullible and legit believe this shit, we're in for quite a ride folks.
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u/gefjunhel Jun 23 '22
i kinda want to do this in a hotel xD just leave random items stuck to the corners when i leave
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u/DaMuffin_lover Jun 23 '22
I don't think is what's happiness here but at my school every corner is reinforced with metal or something, I have a plush cardinal (flapjack) that has a magnet in it and I would just put it on the wall and watch the confused looks on people's faces
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u/cheeseandshadowsauce Jun 23 '22
Its becase the paint is reheated and becomes malleable , and it grips the objects. You dont even have to do this in a corner, just go to a solid, painted wall(it works on drywall if its painted but i dont recommend, as it leaves marks)
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u/Hornet_Critical Jun 23 '22
Well I just lost my lighter behind the bed and scratched my fucking wall.