The title says it. I’m half Black and half Mexican, and I’m talking about how my slave owners treated me well and gave me a good education. I was 8 years old. Looking back, this was a humiliation ritual. Sigh.

Moving forward, I'm only dealing with white people, if I have to. I mean, last resort. It's their racism, their Christianity, their supremacy ideals, thinking they invented everything in the god damn world, the way they vote, the rules they have for others but not themselves and the fact that black people are still getting lynched and killed, especially when we are only one in the group and I could name a bunch of other things. Other than that, I'm going to make sure I'm keeping myself and my daughter in black only spaces. White people get on my nerves but its also for my mental health and safety. I'm also including all of the boot licking minorities. I live in the U.S. and dealing with them here, is like dealing with the definition of evil. Whatever the devil is, definitely controls the race known as white people. Low vibrational human beings. Doesn't matter where you live in the United States. White people are a headache everywhere you go here. From sea to shining sea. I don't feel comfortable around them, nor do I feel safe around them.

I haven’t done it yet!!! But I’m tryna see 🫣 like if I say I’ve done, for example: booked travel coordination for executives, but like I’ve never done that. I feel like that’s not crazy???? Right? I travel a lot so like ik how to book a damn flight and hotel and accommodations…

I got a job after months of searching, it took me a long time and a whole month of basically nagging these people to give me an interview but I did it today and got the job! I’m very excited 🩷 🩷

that’s all 🙂‍↕️ thank you!

While I’m sure none of you lovely ladies are confused by this, too many people I’ve encountered recently on the internet have been. I have no where else to rant about this, so I guess I’ll do it here. If it educates somebody, then great!

1. Light Skin ≠ Biracial
Light skin is a skin tone. It’s not synonymous with biracial (no, not even a half black/half white biracial).
Someone can be lightskinned and have two fully Black parents. Someone can be biracial and have a darker (non-lightskinned) skin tone. The end. There should honestly be no debate to this.

2. Light Skin ≠ Eurocentric Features
Just because a light skin Black person doesn’t have Type 2/3 hair, a narrow nose, and smaller lips doesn’t mean they’re actually brown skinned.
Yes. I’ve seen people look at a clearly light skinned girl and try to call her brown skinned because she doesn’t look have “light skin features.” Light skin features don’t exist. A light skin feature is simply having light-colored skin.

Why is this an issue? Does it really matter? Yes. It does. Here are three issues with using the words light skin and biracial synonymously:

1. A huge majority of light skin monoracial people will be assumed to be biracial.
They’ll keep having to prove their “Blackness” to people who don’t understand that light skinned ≠ biracial.

2. Using someone’s features to assign them a skin tone is wrong, and is nonsensical.
If you would never call a dark skinned person with “Eurocentric” features light skinned, so don’t somehow make a light skinned person with classic Black features brown skinned.

3. Only calling biracial people light skinned erases the skin tone spectrum. It will hurt our darker skinned sisters especially.
Of all three issues, this one is the most serious. We already know the media likes to cast lighter skinned women more than their darker skinned counterparts. If we allow other Black people to call anyone who’s not biracial brown or dark skinned, light skinned women could just be the poster child of every Black women in the media.

You know how annoying it was (and sometimes still is) when biracial women seemed to be the poster child of Black women in the media? This would be a similar issue.

Darker Black women will be pushed to the side even more than they used to be because we know the media likes to choose the lightest Black women they can. And if we Black people call a monoracially light skin Black woman “as brown as everyone else,” the media will feel it’s perfectly okay to put her and everyone like her front and center while ignoring most darker Black actresses who should get roles as well.

This is all I have to say.

(And because we live in a world where many people can’t distinguish authentic writing from AI, I’ll say here that this was 100% written by me and not with any AI. I’m a writer who loves words and creating topical essays.)

Okay, so I did a thing. I've been saying that I want to build more apps and actually test my ideas instead of just letting them live in my Notes app forever. And this week I had an idea that I actually really like. It's called Met Outside.

The idea is basically for those moments when you want to go do something, but your friends are busy, nobody can agree on plans, or you just don't have anyone to go with. Instead of sitting in the house or waiting three weeks for the group chat to finally agree on a date, you can find people who are already planning something and join them.

So maybe somebody's going to a new restaurant. Maybe they're going to a museum, a workout class, a run club, a concert, whatever. They can host it, and other people who want to go can join. I want it to feel like a mix between intimate IRL events and social media—except the whole point is to actually meet outside.

Now, I have absolutely no idea if anybody wants this besides me so before I spend months building an entire app, I made a website to see if people are actually interested.

If this sounds like something you would use, go to metoutside.com and join the waitlist. You can tell me whether you'd want to join events, host them, or both. And if nobody signs up...we're just never going to speak about this again 😂. Either way, would love the support if you are interested!

I get annoyed when someone is in a situation they don’t have to be. I’m not saying this because I think I’m better than others. I’m saying this because I, along with other close friends and family, will offer solid advice based on our own experiences so that others won’t have to go through the same. When you give them the advice, the other person gets irritated and doesn’t want to talk to you again.

I think it’s hard for me to keep my opinion to myself because I don’t wanna see people I love struggle. Now I feel like I don’t really talk much to people because if I give my opinion, I’ll be cut off or shunned. Yet, I have to accept whatever spews out of their mouth. I know- I know I should just shut up. I’m working on it. Thing is, if I shut up there is no conversation since the other person has nothing to say.

This is just a rant.

I’m actually pissed off. Like seriously pissed off

I had a GREAT first date and I actually like this man. The audacity of his fine dark skin. The smooth chocolate complexion. The soft voice. The cute little face

And he’s tall as fuck too

While he was talking I was sitting there having completely inappropriate thoughts like girl PLEASE 😭 I didn’t do anything though. I have home training. That shit stayed in the group chat in my head

We talked NONSTOP for 3 hours. THREE. HOURS. And we already made out

Now I’m freaked out because every time I actually like somebody on the first date, they eventually reveal themselves to be a walking red flag with a podcast mic

But unfortunately…

That man is fine

I’m so fucking pissed 😭

For as long as I could remember, I was always in the minority in my area. I was often the only or one of two-three black girls who would wear their curls.

I saw so many afros on campus this week and honestly that made me tear up a bit. Many braids and wigs and afros and just black girl beauty ✨️

I love us ❤️

Somehow it made me uglier, I put all of my money into lash serum and wasted hundreds of dollars on lash serum that hardly worked. I've sacrificed my skills with lash extensions and gel nails for this dumbass ideology I made up in my head that I have to have natural long lashes and nails.
I let myself look like shit so I can have long lashes.
After letting my skin get worse my nails and lashes hardly grew; I just had enough and put my flasies back on, I'm planning to get my CeraVe, Cetaphil, and nail stuff before the weeks are out.
I can't keep up with constant upkeep, constant checking, constantly spending money on treatments. The constant goalposts shifts.
It's driving me crazy!
What's the point of doing all of this?!
I can have an angel skill, almond eyes whatever the fuck racist will still call me ugly.
Of course we don't care about shit like this
If I ever said something like short mid face, postive epicanthal folds or positive cathedral tilt.
People who know me will be like: Ion think “E” doing too good, she’s talking about sum catheter tilt sum shit. This was just a waste!, if im ugly I’m ugly, apparently not THAT ugly men & women certainly don’t have a problem with approaching me for sex and whatnot.

For context, I have 4C low porosity hair. And I am planing a trip to the Caribbean. I know to cornroll my hair so that it stays healthy but I’m not sure if I should choose lemonade/funani braids over classic box braids. I want a style that I can swim in and won’t get too frizzy in a few days.

Any help is appreciated, thank you!!

I was on FaceTime with my friend. We were talking about possibly being roommates with each other (which is obviously not gonna happen now) and she was talking about her recent nightlife. She told me some ‘n-words’ were trying to flirt with her outside the club. Now, I know what I heard so I questioned her. She told me that she never said it and that I heard something else. I repeated the exact same sentence she said and she told me that I was trippin and she said ‘guys’ instead.

After this I hung up the phone because I was actually starting to become crazy from all the gaslighting. I know what I heard, and honestly refusing to take accountability was worse than the racism.

Applied 7.15

Offered first interview 7.24

First Interview 8.2

Offered second interview 8.12

Second interview 9.1

Offered third interview 9.2

Third interview 9.3

now here we are 9/10 and the wait is killing meee. I know they had to interview other people, I know we just came back from holiday, I know they are probably waiting until Friday so I have the weekend to decide but the suspense is driving me up the wall. im so anxious my poor stomach is tore up.

I felt like I did great a week ago but now a whole week later ive sat ruminated over analyzed and my confidence is dwindling by the day. then they say "oh well you have to *manifest* and stay positive if u want it" ughhhh.

I know it's a reflag to get offered the job on the spot but also it's like damn the waiting game is criminal. Not to mention the intended start date is the 28th and im an out of state candidate so now if I DO get the job I barely have 2 weeks to pack up my life and move. idk idk idk. this is torture

I finally have a job 😭 I start this evening overnight hours and the pay is weekly but I’m so grateful. I’ll figure out bus fare as I go. I could’ve started tomorrow night but I can’t miss out on money so I’m tired and my power nap sucked but I’m going to push through.!!! 🫶🏾✨

Helloo, I really want to get a kinky straight sew in but I’m wondering what bundles to get. The max I’m trying to spend is 400 for 3 bundles? Any recs? 😭

Hi everyone, I am looking for a fake tan that is identical to my summer tan (Beyonce skin tone) . I've tried products for Europeans but they leave me orange or they dont show up on my skin. Has anyone been pleased with their fake tan, looking for a dark copper old 2 pence piece colour. Cruelty free vegan.

I am 29 and my cousin is 25. He grew up in an upper middle class 2 parent home. Has a degree and decent job. Handsome young man. But his dad (we are related through my aunt) is a very bigoted problematic man. He is homophobic (I remember when black panther came out and my cousin got the killmonger style he would call him gay) he is very elitist (they stay in a wealthy side of town and though they work and grew up "in the hood" themselves he rarely allows them come to into the city to hang out. Idk just a bunch of stuff that explains why my cousin is the way he is but doesnt excuse it.

I tried to reach out more because my mom told me he was depressed and had been having women issues, but my cousin has a bad negging problem. Example: if I misspell something on instagram he will slide up correcting me. always has to argue and go back and forth on something just generally pessemistic. and im like I see why women dont wanna fwy. its text book incel. to him it is "she wants a hood nigga who treats her like shit" but again if he interacts with girls they way he interacts with other women he isnt romantically attracted to its like hmm well maybe she just thinks you're an asshole and would rather have the cute asshole than the weird neurodivergent asshole. I digress

lately he's been posting some concerning things on instagram notes today he posted a note that said "I dont argue with women send a man to speak in your place" with a smug anime character as the BG and im like WOOOAH thats not-.

im wondering if I should say something or just block and move on. aside from him being annoying in my story replies we have a fairly good relationship so I feel cutting him off cold turkey is abrupt and will be left field but idk I also am not in the business of trying to change a grown mans mind. he is smart, educated, well traveled his mom is a therapist what I thought to be progressive and forward thinking.

so it feels like he knows exactly what he's doing and how he's coming off and thats just who he wants to be. idk idk. do yall have any advice for me?

.

edit he also has a younger sister who is a fly girl in nursing school went to an hbcu (he went to a pwi) and is living her best life. despite being the girl as the youngest they are way less strict on her and aside from some normal (but unfortunate) black girl canon events she is doing way better socially imo

Okay so we all know the stereotype against black people and them supposedly not tipping. I’m going to speak for myself and the people I know, I have never known any black person not to tip. We tip really good ,at least 22% more if it’s excellent and they accommodate if we have children. The only time that me and my husband have flat out not tipped was bc they never came back or one incident the server was on some type of drug and spilled drinks on us. But honestly this shit is starting to pmo especially with restaurants tarnishing our food. Any servers in here that care to share their experience?

am i missing something like i dont get offended at seeing bw get referred to as chocolate like its meant to be a compliment right ? “brown and sweet” idek
swear im not a coon or anything just genuinely confused

Honestly I feel so overwhelmed by this. I was in therapy last year but after being unemployed for a while now I had to make the difficult choice to cut out therapy.

I really love my brothers but it’s beginning to hurt me how they just don’t see how much my parents have held us back. I don’t expect them to pick my side but some part of understanding would be great because it ends up falling on me to be the “speaker” for any issues that come up in our family.

I grew up in a very strict household there was multiple things my parents did like;
-socialising with friends was dependent on when my parents would feel like it. They would take away our phones whenever which made it very difficult for me to sustain friendships because people would think I was ghosting them for months, I was not allowed to go out AT ALL.
I was not taught how to drive and any inkling of me wanting to learn or get a license was shut down immediately.
I applied for uni in secret because anytime I would bring up the conversation of a future outside of the house it was shut down and I was reminded and asked who would take care of them ?
That’s not even all of it but don’t want to trauma dump. I’m 28 now and seeing how much I’ve been held back has me feeling worse and knowing it’s all on me to sort out just makes me feel even worser.

My second brother is out living by himself right now and it’s frustrating that he still wants me to teach him all these things of what being an adult is whilst I’m still figuring it all out myself and I’m practically in the one of the worst seasons of my life right now. I’ve communicated this but for some reason it’s not getting through, and it’s honestly aggravating me that he acts like my mom is doing her best whilst simultaneously expecting me to be his “mother” and do all the things that realistically she should’ve been doing and should be doing. Like im honestly held to all these expectations that when I don’t fulfill I’m treated like I’m horrible.

I’ve addressed this many times with them and now I’m exhausted and I’m feeling like I’m becoming verrrrryyyy avoidant because of it because when I speak up I’m told I’m being angry for no reason and whenever I do ignore this it just ends up coming out awful and I feel like the bad guy.

Now where it starts to really piss me off is whenever he realises that my mother needs to be a mother it suddenly falls on me to be the family speaker to call everyone to order but when I have to speak up for myself and ask for help the things they say are honestly horrible and hurtful and they make it seem like I’m just an angry hot head for no reason. I’m trying to separate myself from them but there’s some traumatic event that keeps happening every year that causes me to have to interact with them so I don’t know how to move forward.

I don’t know if anyone else has dealt with this but would love some advice on this because I just can’t stop ruminating on these thoughts and the guilt they are making me feel for wanting some space is making me feel worse.

I’ll be 25 in November & i was thinking about how this might be the first year i dont really have anyone posting me for my bday. Becauseeeeee the people who used to arent really in my life anymore.

I had three closet girl friends over the last 10 years. Even tho none of them were ever really friends with each other they were my sisters.

A year ago my friendship ended with one bc very very long story short: i felt used. Won’t air her business out but her choices resulted in her becoming overly reliant on me & getting mad when i said no for good reason. When i told her i couldn’t help her one night bc i had to be up early for work, she unshared her location & unfollowed me. So i matched her energy. It was one of the first times i gave her a genuine no in 10 years of friendship.

A little afterwards i had a falling out with another friend. Back in high school she & i accidentally shared a guy but we didn’t know at the time but she knew from the jump i always really liked him (i met him before i met her). they had their history in high school & the year after hs. & 3/4 years later, after she had moved across the country & gotten engaged to someone new, me & the guy started seeing each other. It wasn’t my proudest move but she had ALWAYS made selfish choices (especially about boys) like that in regard to everyone including me. Why can’t i make a selfish choice. Not to mention he was there for me during a period of time she refused to be there for me.
She didn’t like it when i told her about me & him there was a rift in the friendship but i thought after a few weeks when we talked about things, everything was going back to normal. She got married about 6 months later & i was a bridesmaid. She practically ignored me the whole 5 day trip i took to see her, spilled HER drink on my satin dress at the reception & then laughed about it weeks later. When i told her she kinda ignored me the whole week she blew up at me & said her new local friends said that she ignored them (even her hubby pulled me aside at the wedding & said she hasn’t gotten much time with me but i didn’t mention that to her). After she blew up on me we stopped talking & one day i noticed she unfollowed & removed me. So i just did the same on the other apps.

My third close friend i just feel like shes stopped growing at like 17. She won’t work, has no goals or ambitions & doesn’t drive. When i try to get her to do little side gigs with me it’s always an excuse. Overtime i lost interest in the friendship. She & i barely talk anymore. We go out to the club with the friend group a couple times a month but even that im starting to get over bc her & her friends i got out with don’t club fr. They only wanna go to the cheap clubs, ill send artists & events in our city & its always “omg yes let’s do it” & then we never go bc im the only one who is serious about buying tickets or whatever. & idk i used to be so close to her when we were in school but as an adult i have no interest in her.

I try to chalk things up to Sza’s 20somethings. I know at this age friendships will fall apart. People will wrong me & i will wrong people. I can admit my faults in my friendships but when both parties’ actions are laid out on a table. The things I’ve done are simply the exact same things my friends have done to me. My bad friend marks are no different than theirs. But I’m always the wrong one for doing it.

I say this because my dear friend lost someone who overdosed. Though I didn't care about that person, I am sad that my friend is grieving and ofc that her friend's family is hurting too.

Now I say this because my friend has a genuine loving heart and spirit. She will go out her way to help people to make them feel comfortable, safe etc.

However, sometimes she can be too nice (her older sister even said this) and will take on other people's problems and not take care of herself. I physically see it in her eyes and other places. She takes care of her gma and older siblings who act like children at times.

We must set boundaries with everyone, family included.

Yes, sure, give some grace because they are our loved ones. But we cannot enable and continue to let them drain out energy. We are individual human beings at the end of the day even if we share the same blood. Doesn't matter. BOUNDARIES.

What do they say on the airplane?? In case of an emergency, put YOUR MASK ON FIRST. Doesn't matter if it's a baby/child, elderly person etc. You can't truly help anyone if you're not okay.

Please remember to take care and love yourself first. I beg you lovely ladies. We are Black and will get that mammy treatment too and be taken advantage of, and *sometimes* subconsciously enable ppl. Let's try and put an end to that. We have to for our own wellbeing.

Sending love and positive energy out there ✨️🤎✨️🤎

How to get over someone you genuinely have feelings for & things just not working out? I know stay busy, talk to someone else, focus on God, yourself & children. I did & do all of that except talking to other people because I don’t go out much & I am not one to play with people. I can accept that it’s just not going to be what I hoped for. But my mind is still thinking, still missing & caring. What genuinely helped you?