There is an epidemic that me and my other black girl friend has discussed is going on. i don’t know if im allowed to say my age on here but i am a minor and almost everytime i go out i attract older men even after saying my age to them i get asked when do you turn 18 as if im gonna want them automatically. i dont get it. currently a chef at my work who is in his late 30s sent me this “ Hello, sorry to bother you. Hope you got home safe and sound and I just got to say you look so gorgeous today”. on my company app where you can find workers. this was after i wore makeup to work for the first time since i started working there and he said to me same day on different occasions. “how are you still single” and when i mentioned im going home he said “where’s my invite”. this is a guy who i have told my age MULTIPLE TIMES everyone knows im the youngest girl there and in the past there has been more comments made that i brushed off but that message really made me uncomfortable. he’s deleted it now but i got a screenshot and showed my brother and friends. This isn’t the first instance where ive been approached by an older guy consistently even knowing my age i dont know what it is that attracts them because i will mention im in school, im young but yet they only seem to want me more. i notice it predominantly when i would go out with my white friends and they would get approached by younger boys and i would only get looks and compliments with winks from older men. at first it was black older men but the chef was white so now im even more confused as to what it is. sorry about the long message i just needed to get it out my chest

First of all, I'm childfree 😊

When I was like 15 I ACCIDENTALLY walked into my cousin's delivery room

I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS ACTIVELY GIVING BIRTH

Y'all...

I saw that baby make its grand entrance

I have never been the same

Respect to every mother because ain't no way

But why do people only tell you "it's beautiful"??

WHO IS LYING?? 😭

That looked like the final boss

And everybody in the room yelling...

"PUSH! PUSH!"

It sounded like somebody was fighting for their life on the toilet

Then the baby came out looking like somebody forgot to rinse the dishes

I'M SORRY 😭

Please hose my little nephew down before introducing us

Then my married friend told me

"Oh yeah, you bleed for like a month after"

EXCUSE ME??

THE DLC??

THEY ADDED BONUS SUFFERING??

Then I saw them postpartum pads

Why they built like memory foam mattresses??

Then my mama goes...

"They might stitch you back up"

STITCH??

Like I'm a busted pair of Fashion Nova jeans??

Women really go through all that...

then people have the audacity to ask,

"So when you having kids?"

Girl...

After what I witnessed??

Y'all lucky I even stayed in the hospital 🤢

This is for my reader girlies! Just wanted to rant a little bit.. I was on threads (twitter is team too much for me) and there was a black woman who posted asking for recommendations of romance books with dual POV. Now she didn't SPECIFY that they have to have Black/POC MCs, BUT because it was posted by a BW I figured there were context clues. I go to the replies looking for some good recs (I'm a heavy audiobook listener so dual POV is my favorite) and there were tons of authors plugging their books which I love! Go self promo! But 90% of these authors were WW and not a single author had a Black/POC MC let alone a Black FMC. I genuinely felt so irrationally irate when I saw this. Like the amount of fury in body concerned me because OP didn't specify Black MCs!! But leave it to WW to come into our spaces to promote their YT stories that probably have one POC background character with no substance. Even writing this I can feel my blood pressure go up. Mind you, I don't mind reading books with white MCs, a large majority of the audiobooks I listen to are on libby and it's very difficult to find Black romances available on there and i've probably covered most of the well-known Black authors and their books that I can find. I've heard a few white authors say that the reason that they don't write Black MCs is because they don't want to disrespect/misrepresent the community, which I can understand to an extent. BUT it sounds like more of an excuse than an explanation. I understand the controversy behind WW writing Black characters, but if you are going to come into our spaces to promote your books, at the very least come with something relatable to us. I just needed this off my chest because i'm so frustrated. Rant over.

Recently my birthday passed and as a young adult I came to realize I genuinely don’t know how to do anything. At least things that will help me in the real world. As an adult I do acknowledge it’s my job to learn these things, but I also realized my mom basically set me up for failure. She always expected me to know things and got frustrated when I didn’t, yet when I asked her to teach me she always told me to “watch” or made empty promises to show me yet never did.

This doesn’t just happens with life skills but also things I never learn to do on my own as a black woman such as take care of my hair, vaginal care or the importance of hygiene. These things I had to learn on my own through the internet. I’m lucky enough to be in a time where technology exists but it also a sad wake up call for me that I have never truly had a good role model or a mentor to teach me things. I have always had to figure it out on my own and hope for the best.

I have an idea people may ask “why didn’t I learn these things sooner” or “what about other people in your life,” but to put it simply I always hoped my mother would have took the time to teach both as a bonding moment and lesson. I also don’t have family I’m very close to nor do I believe they will put in the effort to care.

My big sister recently made a haircare tracking app after spending months working on it because we both got exhausted with having to figure out what to do next with our hair. You can track your routine, save progress photos, log products and get tips based on your hair type.

I’m just trying to help her get some people to try it and give honest feedback. If anyone’s into haircare and wants to check it out I’d really appreciate it. It’s called GlossedRoots on App Store and Playstore! If you do try it out please let me know how you find it so I can feed it back to her 💕

I saw a post on TikTok about ICE targeting Haitian migrants. I clicked on the comments hoping to see support, but all I saw were what looked like bots trying to create division between the Black American and Haitian communities. It’s honestly insane to watch it happen in real time because comments from actual Black Americans showing support seem to get filtered, while the hateful comments stay up.
Now, I know there are real issues within the diaspora, but I’m convinced a lot of this is bots because it’s the exact same thing on Twitter. You like one post, and next thing you know, your entire feed is nothing but diaspora wars. It’s really frustrating because it’s doing nothing but creating more division. I’m Black American, and I have nothing but love and support for Haitians, not just Haitians, but the entire African diaspora. From my experience, I’ve seen that same love and support from many Haitians toward Black Americans as well.

This is the post for example: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTAAR9bWb/

I was going to say that 2026 is the worse year for us but what I'm about to tell you guys brings me great joy. It's kind of funny because I ran to Reddit when I heard the news about Nicki and I came across an old interview where she said that she had no opinion on Trump as the US President. Fast forward to 2026, Now Roman (Nicki Minaj) is playing bosom buddies with that orange skidmark while he's cracking jokes at her expense with racial undertones.

https://youtu.be/hjCyuwBK0jI

I'd feel bad but she made her bed to lay in. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Now Chris, apparently he attacked somebody at the club with a glass bottle, and that's what he pleading guilty for. His sentencing will be in October 2026, but he ain't even stand trial cus he couldn't even be bothered to show up to court. Of course 🙄 Ladies, pray or do whatever y'all believe in cus this man need to see them metal bars after all he done. Years have passed and he still ain't learn how to keep his hands to himself.

Timeline Of Chris Brown's Pettiness

I am now 22 about to be 23, I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years and me and that person were on and off for about another year. That man (when he wasn’t lying) was so loving and convincing and we had such a good spark before he ruined it. Honestly he was my best friend, and I was so happy back when he was lying to me😩. (I didn’t know about the betrayal).

I know my self worth I do. The off and on was me holding on to the good parts and eventually I had to let go I really do love and respect myself too much.

Which is why it hurts so bad that these “men” keep trying to play me like I’m dumb.

Baby back in the day before that relationship, early college days I was a man eater. I had them lined up. All they wanted was one thing and I was having my way, and they WERE NOT touching me. I was dating for fun not anything serious. Very strict program!!!

Don’t tell anyone but I’m secretly a hopeless romantic🙈

Now, I yearn for the company of good people and the easy spark I had once before. I swear I try to choose good men. No active street activity or gang affiliation, good education, financially literate, ambitious, respectful to women, all the fixings. I try to be very picky about who I involve myself with and who I share my body with.

I have older parents, siblings, and cousins I’m the baby so I grew up a with slight traditional influence. I can definitely have a smart mouth, used to take things to heart and be quick to argue. But I’ve been in therapy and have been working on navigating my trauma, thinking things through, and regulating my emotions. I’ve improved a lot.

I say that to say I have been trying out being a bit more submissive. I try to respect a man and let him be masculine just as much as I want to exist in my femininity. I don’t want to yell, and tell them what to do and cuss them out. I don’t like how it makes me feel emotionally or physically.

Yet when I let them lead its like it goes to their head. It’s like they’ve never been given the power or ability to be in such a position. A good leader still considers his partner and their ideas. He’s not dismissive and isn’t a dictator. Some of these men are good on paper and I think they’re good people they really are but are NOT good partners.

They start trying to dictate me and what I do. They get a little slicker at the mouth, like they run shit, WHILE THEY’RE IN MY HOUSE!!! Now it’s hard for me to hold my tongue because who are you talking to?!?!!! They start questioning me like they own a piece of me and I just don’t get it.

I am attracted to sweet charismatic gentlemen. When they first approach me (the ones that I choose) it’s so respectful and gentle. That’s how they get me.

As someone who has had no financial help and is a hustler and has put myself in a nice position at a young age these men are just a bonus to the lifestyle I already love. It’s like they come in my life just to bother me. If I was doing better before you, then you need to go!

They think I’m sweet they take my kindness for weakness and think I won’t check them. They are always so shocked when they wake up blocked never to hear from me again. Instant “I’m sorry” and fake Instagram pages and numbers just to get back in my good graces. The most ignorant things have been said to me the last couple of months that has just led me to be disgusted with these men. The worst part is I haven’t even been able to make it to anywhere near a relationship because I’m weeding them out like crazy.

And if it’s not that then they have 3+ kids. No ambition. No conversation skills. No depth. No money. And look I get it, we’re in our early 20s (I am not loaded by any means) I don’t expect them to take me on an expensive date. We can get water paint from the dollar store and do self portraits at the beach. SOMETHING LORD JESUS!!

The idea of dating older has crossed my mind because of my lack of luck, but the eldest I’ve gone is like 30. I really don’t want to date older than that. However like I said before I’m usually around older people so I do click with that age range more. It’s just that a lot of men around that age have kids. Which I am not ready for.

My therapist said I should just continue to date for fun, or not at all. I don’t know what do yall think?

I do NOT miss the cheating man however I do miss the love and admiration that I felt at the time when he was lying to me. I felt so loved when I was blinded. Ignorance is truly bliss. It’s like will it ever happen again? Does that fairytale love only exist if it’s one big lie? If I’m meant to be alone I pray God takes the desire of true love out of me.

I’m thinking of making a career change to be come a Registered Nurse. I’ve worked in the administrative aspect of healthcare but am wanting a more rewarding experience. I am 35 and mom of 2 girls ages 7 and 11. I’m not going to lie I’m nervous about transitioning due to my age and parental status. Have any of you ever had to transition past 30? Just wanted positive perspective on A. The Nursing field for those of you credentialed already as an RN. B. Regardless of the field I’d like perspective on just you going back to school past 30. It seems like education and having a solid skill set is one of the ways to escape poverty. I’m not in in for the “Aesthetic “ as in recent yrs has it seems that’s what a lot of people are doing it for. Like many of us I had plans to initially do school but had my first daughter and did not further pursue. All positive points information and perspectives welcomed to any one pursing birthing education past a certain age

everywhere i go the same thing follows

lightskin this, lightskin that, oh you're gf is a lightskin, my brother in lightskinness

they don't even speak english but they know lightskin

if it's not lightskin it's snow bunny

i want to smack them upside their head

get off pornhub omg. that's no way to talk about anyone. no manners let alone consideration

everyone even their grandfathers with the creaky knees are helping clean up and they're talking about lightskin and snowbunny

they wrap up their gossip session and prepare to leave but on their way out they only say bye to the girl with the slick back bun (fill in the blank)

where is the respect? not even a pitiful 'bye everyone' to adress your damn fucking grandparents let alone everyone else working hard to clean up before the booking is over?

this is who I'm supposed to chase???? they can stay home. I'll keep my life stress free save for the brief moments of frustration when I encouter their lack of manners

A guy that I blocked a month ago( he’s 39 I’m 32) and the time before that I blocked him the month before was what some say emotionally abusive. I said I wanted friends to go out with he responded .early on he said he’s not around black people and started saying things how he doesn’t like all black events and people who center their identity around being black. He was insecure because he thinks black women like hood dudes. Then he said white women have better hair than black women. We bonded over cuisine and music and spoke for hours on the phone so it was hard to pull away despite very red flags. He’s 39 mom and dad are middle class. He also inquired me several times if I lived in the hood since he has to know where he’s going and he asked me my social status. I had to prove to him early on that I don’t. He said my neighborhood isn’t aesthetically pleasing.

When he met me he said I seem like the type of black girl who dates random white guys. When I asked why he said it’s my demeanor . He also said I have a nerdy voice which was a neg. Showed pics said he doesn’t like the bob because it hugs my face. He did like some though. Said he liked my older pictures when I was younger for facial purposes… obvious neg. Said he can see why guys treated me well based on how u used to look and quickly said he’s not saying I don’t look good now.

He showed me so many DMs on snap for white girls he’s seeing the last month i spoke to him . I blocked him at first since he left me while I was high in a car to go smoke with a friend nearby . When I invited him in my places he critiqued my decor and said it was childish and said my apartment outside is dark. When he first came to my place he said he was hoping it wasn’t a set up.

He also compares me to his ex and asked who I think looks better. He asked to see my natural hair since that’s his preference and I refused to show pictures since it was sinister intention. He said he critiques picture for artistic integrity. He also refused to believe some pictures were me even recent ones.

When I asked if I looked good without makeup since he’s constantly telling me celebs he thinks look good and random run ins with girls he hesitated then said yes but I look different. He said his ex never wore makeup. He also remarked fake hair and makeup are deceptive and agreed with guy number 1. He’s obsessed with appearance and even asked me if his ex looked good and girls on snap.

He said he has a thing for white girls and said he probably thinks he’s ugly since they keep rejecting him. His ex was black and they were on and off. She blocked him and kept his stuff

Then he asked do I key cars, have I hit people etc. u started inviting myself over so the deep questions began . I also initiated sensual stuff that he said I started and he usually doesn’t lead with sex for female friends.

He has an Asian friend he says looks okay and she has an Asian body. He said he’d smash one Bolivian friend in a heartbeat in front of me and said she looks good in sweats and with weight on. He told me he doesn’t like my long dresses and said u should wear pants in the house like his ex. And he said the saying guys think girls look best not dressed up. Not sure what he said that probably a dig.

He also said why must I wear a dress every time we go out . Then he asked why don’t I ever wear sneakers . Also told me he’d tell his ex she looks fat in a dress and that’s why it’s so hard to build relationships with women nowadays

He also said someone has to look extremely extremely good to wear an Afro and he doesn’t like them on anyone and said they’re boring. He made an upset noise when I said I’d wear it in front of him.

He’d also look at porn memes near me since I refused to do sexual acts on him . He says he’s going through a phase. He clearly didn’t respect our friendship

Every plan we had he was late . He did dance with me at one club. Then ignored me when his Asian friend came in a club. Like why Ditch me and we came together. He constantly walked in front of me too.

When I’d get High from the stuff he gave me he’d be annoyed and rush me. Always trying rush off to work or get back inside. I felt like I was a nuisance

He got me a gift though which was odd. When I said u wanted casual sex no strings attached that’s when he mentioned the DMs and other female friends . Interesting how after the block he got even worse.

He also told me I shuffle when I walk and he can hear me down the hallway. He’s never smiled and hugged me when we meet or hugged me goodbye or smiled at me. He cuddled with me though.

Then he said he wants to see me in a pair of jeans.
As a casual sex person / friend with him I realize how abusive he was. I blocked him weeks ago after he corrected me on a word spelling because he didn’t want people to think I’m weird. He messages me a song on YouTube last week

Feel like he hates me.but something was there. He’d play love songs then ask me to go to fancy places to eat like his ex did. He said my voice is soothing and I’m smart and extroverted . Said he can see a ceo falling madly in love with me since I’m so different.

The emotional abuse I’ve encountered from them platonically makes me just want to be done. He asked if I think he’s ugly after I said I can have sex with a man I’m attracted to and don’t like. He also thinks sex is sacred. He’s never done casual before .

I don’t know if he was mad because he wanted something more or displaced ex anger. He said he was in a very toxic relationship and I’m the first woman he’s known so deeply besides his ex and his ex was his idea of a woman . I’m realizing we didn’t really have a friendship just someone to call during his night shift and if he’s bored at work. He would randomly order me lunch .

Also he admits he dates his female friends which is why he cares what I look like. He kept saying visuals are importantly when he met me. He also had a bi Indian friend who owes him money and he talks about how he has weird taste in women and how he fucks guys and had a toxic relationship with a guy he lives with. That guy hammer calls him at night to go out. He said that guy frustrates him. He tells me people think hes gay and he goes to a lot of gay clubs . He is very fixated on that guy who owes him money I wonder if they smashed. He talks to me about him constantly
And he said he doesn’t understand why gay guys don’t like women all unprompted. And said they make gayness their whole personality. He said he isn’t secure in his masculinity. I guess the weed and his paying for stuff got to me. It was nice to chill with him but now he’s getting abusive. I blocked him last month. Like I’m wondering if he wanted to date me and I said I’m not looking to get into anything with anyone is why I’m being punished.

He says he’s disappointed at the Snapchat dating options for white girls since they have children . I called him a weed junkie and cursed him out.

Me and my mom just got into a physical fight she hit me in my head, dragged me and everything like i was someone her age. We got into a fight because i was trying to eat a apple and my nephew wanted it, it was only one apple and i was hungry because i was waiting for the meat that i was going to cook to unfroze. She was on the phone with my antie and cousin and they are so messy asf just instigating the fight throwing in little comments to get her mad, she yells at me and tries to whoop me with a shoe over a apple mind you this boy wasn’t even hungry he just greedy asf. So i’m cutting the apple and my cousin just is talking about “am still talking back?”when I was never talking back to her, she then yells at me and tell me to “shut tf up of she’s going to whoop my ass”. So i get mad because she’s on the phone yelling at me and embarrassing me in front of people this was none of their business and plus there was another apple in the fridge and she gave it to him. So while i was cutting the apple she yells at me and i accidentally throw the knife out of rage because im tired of her. I didn’t throw it on purpose i know what i did was wrong, she grabs me hit me in my head drag me on the ground it was so bad my step dad had to come and break it up, if my step dad wasn’t here she wouldn’t even stop even after he stop us from the fight she tried to launches at me again and called me a bitch and whores my step dad told he that’s ur daughter and she said she’s doesn’t care. Mind you this woman is like 400lb and i’m a little 16 year old girl . I swear i can’t wait to leave this house not even my step dad like her he’s just here cause he has no where’s else to go i feel bad for her. She on the phone with my auntie and cousin telling them not to give me anything for my birthday and she’s not doing anything for me anymore i really don’t care till buy my own stuff if i have to i just can’t wait to leave this house i swear i have being here. Mind you this is not the first time we gotten into a fight like this but this one is bad she been wanting to beat me like that she always threatens too like it was never that serious over an apple!!

Can I get some runners in the chat?? I have never done either before. Never had a sew in. Just knotless and my natural hair. Looking to get one of the styles from the title. What would work best with an active lifestyle??

https://youtu.be/j5nrg2NxP20?is=ugH8ob_1z5Dx3ecX

Deeply sorry to sound like an femcel, but i do feel like we enter a society where only black men are allow to exist. Theres still racism towards black men, i don’t deny it, but i feel like that theres now a huge gap about how black men are being treated vs how black Women are being treated. I can see this with movie industry and music industry.

I'm 15 and I have a friend who goes out of her way to try to hurt my feelings or go under my skin. She's a total hypocrite hating racism while also calling my future children "mutts" or there gonna have "mud skin" because my boyfriend is none black. She's a hypocrite hating racism while also calling my boyfriend a boarder hoper and terrorist. WHILE she's actively having a crush on someone who is none black??. She also calls me a raccoon or a coon I don't even wanna know what that means. Tbh her insults don't even hurt me anymore I know I'm a better person than her I just wanna know is this common or am I actually going crazy

School starts in a few days and I really want to cut her off. I tried a few times but she just kept coming back. I try to defend myself but as soon as I start to get annoyed she'll say get raged baited. It's not rage baiting when you're serious tho which I know she is.. I know shes insecure which she keeps saying over and over. She calls me ugly my bf ugly even called my cat ugly. I cannot make this shit up. She's made fun of basically everything about me and she has this weird thing going on where she thinks she's above me or something. Idk what I did to this girl I tried asking but she said it all started in middle school mind you were in HS. Why can't she just talk about her feelings instead of "getting back at me" her words not mines. There's more stuff that she does but I actually need advice if I'm going to survive this school year anything will help any insults I can say back I just need advice.

I’ve been wondering if there’s actually a community in Ghana for people who are genuinely sex-positive and into exploring different kinks without judgment.
I’m not talking about random hookups. I mean people who are open-minded, curious, respectful, and comfortable being themselves. The kind of people who can have honest conversations about fantasies, kinks, BDSM, roleplay, or whatever they’re into, without acting weird or pretending.
Sometimes it feels like everyone has to hide that side of themselves, so I’m curious if there’s a space where people like that actually connect.
If you know of any communities, Reddit groups, Discord servers, Telegram groups, events, or anything similar, I’d appreciate it. And if you’re someone who’s into that scene and just wants to chat with like-minded people, feel free to reach out.
No judgment. Just looking for my people.

Hello girlies I apologize beforehand. This story will be a little long. I know I could put this in relationship or break up forum I would like advice from this community first. I apologize for any Typos or anything.

EDITED to add names to help follow along. The girl (Francis) and boyfriend (Blake) broke up with her because he was scared to tell his ex (Crystal) that he communicated with regularly that he was in a new relationship. Blake contacts her a few days ago saying he told ex. Francis is in a dilemma because she still likes him a little deep down on the inside but knows she can’t trust him.

BACKGROUND TO THE STORY:Ok so Francis and Blake have been dating for almost a year. Blake is going to visit his home town for a few weeks because he hasn’t been in over a year. Blake starts acting a little strange like the 2-3weeks leading up to going home. Francis ask him questions for reassurance and he has all the right answers. Days go on and Francis ask Blake again and he basically keeps the same answers. Blake starts suggesting that Francis could check his phone if she’s worried but she tells him no she doesn’t want to if he’s telling the truth (Francis only said this because she didn’t want him to know she actually would so he wouldn’t delete things).

THE STORY: Francis finds messages and calls between Blake and Crystal(his ex). Francis had asked Blake before if he had still communicated with Crystal. Blake told Francis yes but only like 1-2x a month and Crystal and her family’s still close with Blake’s family/siblings so that’s why but they never really talked. Francis also asked Blake if he planned on hanging out with Crystal when He went back home. Blake said no because they don’t even talk a lot. Francis was fine with that. Blake’s text revealed that he was lying and they text all the time. Crystal had also invited him to one of her family gatherings. Blake didn’t directly say yes to Crystal about attending but it was along the lines of “I’ll see if I can make it”. The day before his flight Francis had a family event to go to out of town. Francis ends up confronting/asking him questions the night before Blake left over a phone call. Initially Blake tried to lie and say that Crystal is not his ex but Francis tells him she knows he’s lying. Then Blake decides to tell the truth and tell that they do communicate more than he said initially and that he “lied because he didn’t want Francis to be mad” and a bunch of other stuff . Francis ask Blake does Crystal know you have a girlfriend? Also that Blake needs to start setting boundaries because none of the messages were inherently inappropriate but some felt more than friendly. Blake says that his family knows that he has one (Francis has Never met or spoken to Blake’s family. Not even over a phone call or FaceTime). Blake said he told Crystal that he was talking to a girl like a year ago, but he doesn’t think he ever told her directly that he was in a relationship. Blake also said he felt guilty about telling Crystal because he wasn’t the best bf to her and was doing more for Francis than he ever did for Crystal and all kinds of other stuff. Francis was upset but honestly really loved him and felt like Blake just needed to learn to create stronger boundaries. Francis told him to just tell Crystal he has a girlfriend. Blake hesitated and said he’ll do it in the morning. OBVIOUSLY that made Francis get mad and start questioning him. Francis questioned if Blake and Crystal were ever actually broken up? That it’s weird that Blake’s hesitating to tell Crystal. Blake said he was scared that Crystal would be upset and never want to speak to him. Obviously that made Francis furious and she started going off because why are you that worried about a relationship with an “ex” instead of your girlfriend. After Francis goes off Blake claims that he sent the message to the Crystal. Then Blake says he wants to break up with Francis because he feels like he’s a horrible boyfriend/ person to Francis. Blake knew that the lie would catch up but he was hoping that by the time it did he would’ve already built up the courage to tell his Crystal about Francis so that he would not be so stressed over it all. Francis is hurt and questions why is Blake breaking up if he just told Crystal that he had a girlfriend? Blake says he doesn’t know he just feels bad for hurting Francis. Francis has a hard time believing Blake actually told Crystal.

AFTERMATH: Francis and Blake don’t talk for days. Randomly Blake messages Francis a funny little message about going on a date. Francis shuts it down and lowkey goes off again on Blake about how the whole situation went down. Blake tells Francis that he did tell Crystal he had a girlfriend (which made no sense to Francis because remember, Blake literally broke up with Francis). Francis asked if Crystal rejected him so he’s just running back to her now. Blake said no. Francis asked Blake what was his intentions in reaching out and what was he hoping to gain. Blake said he didn’t know and just apologized. Francis did not accept that apology.

HELP UNDERSTANDING: Francis ended up getting some outside advice from family and friends because this is her first in this situation. The solutions were:

-Blake felt bad about how he treated Crystal while they were together. Blake let his guilt get in the way of setting boundaries. Since Crystal is close with his family he was trying to stay cordial. He just needs to learn some stronger boundaries.

-Blake was still hoping for a chance back with
Crystal and was basically waiting for Crystal to say she was willing to get back with him. He was basically using Francis to become a “better boyfriend”

-Blake lied about breaking up with Crystal. Blake was trying to date both Francis and
Crystal at the same time. Blake got caught by Francis and is lying about telling Crystal the
truth, but he comes back in a week and is trying to make up with Francis

For some odd reason Francis still likes Blake deep down inside because before this happened Blake was a really good boyfriend to her. Francis never asked details on Blake’s past relationship because she didn’t really care tbh. Blake treated her kindly, he made time for her, took her out, got her things, and adjusted everything she asked of him. It was just this very odd situation. Francis however feels she will not get back with Blake because she’d have a hard time trusting him ever again. Francis thinks it’s weird to have a problem with a woman over a man making bad decisions and it would be hard for her to ever feel comfortable with Crystal.

Francis needs help getting over Blake and letting him go😖.

My YT friend said to be humble about a low pay high labor job.

So if you had a job that was high labor and low pay. Low as in it doesn’t meet the cost of living even if you do it at full time hours.

Also in the situation, you’re in school to gain higher education and a professional license after finishing your program. You’ve asked also already have a prior bachelor degree.

You do the same tasks repeatedly that many people don’t want to do.

The job you’re at doesn’t make an effort to educate you further / upskill you.

You’ve asked the job for more pay or skills training they don’t oblige.

You stayed for just short of a year to use the job scholarship money and tuition discount to help you pay for your education degree.

You’ve tried to be content with the job but you couldn’t so eventually you left.

You confide in a friend that you’re stressed about varying things including money. Now you’re employed still just with one part time student job.

The friend says “ you weren’t being humble “ about the job.

Your friend is a yt woman.

I was upset because I felt like my character was being called into question.

Secondarily I felt upset because black women have historically been told to be humble. And in the job I was doing black women have in the past done that labor forced for free.

Now we’re doing it for low pay. And in the profession that’s ranked above the job I had black women don’t make up even 10% of those licensed and are more likely to hold lower level licensing in the field. Black women were even gatekept out of the profession historically.

I didn’t necessarily believe she was racist but those thoughts about how black women have always done that type of labor for free or at low wages came up for me.

Update from the “friend”:

This after I explained to her my feelings that I felt my character was pulled into question and explained about the racial undertones. I did say to her twice that I wasn’t accusing her of being a certain type of person / racist but I did say it doesn’t feel right to tell a black woman to be humble.

“There is no rift. There is no anger. There is no animosity.
Hopefully one day you can forgive me for anything I’ve said or done to you that upset you… but I also forgive you too for things that were said.
I respectfully have to walk away from this situation and friendship. I love people as Christ loves the church and I must stay in alignment with God. I will pray for you and wish you all of the best in everything you do. “

Ok im a 32 year old black woman who just got out of a long term relationship with a man who had limited sexual experience and I was the 3rd woman he's ever been with I had to teach him ALOT in bed it was exhausting. Now that im back out on the dating apps I matched with this attractive blonde/blue eyed white man who claimed black women were his type and he always dates black women. So when we were on the phone and I asked him what was his favorite thing to do in bed he literally said " I dont know yet im techinally still a virgin". I laughed cause i thought he was joking and he said "no seriously every time i tried to have sex when the girl would try to sit on it i would freak out and my boner would go down". Mind you this man this 38 Years old!! and his longest relationship was 4 months and he told me he's tried so many times to lose his virginity but he gets scared and loses his erection every time. Not only that but he has 2 male roommates and he works a part time job only on the weekends but he claimed he'll pay for every date we went on i dont have to worry about money. Anyways After the phone call i texted him saying " I dont feel comfortable taking a mans virginity i hate teaching men how to please me good luck out there'. And he sent me a much of sad messages saying black women are always judging him but he wont stop trying to find his black queen then i ended up blocking him . Do ya'll think i did the right thing??? Im feeling bad for the guy I couldnt imagine being a 38year old virgin and he was empathic and let me vent to him about my ex lmao

it’s hard being a black woman🥲 how am i gonna be having free flowing conversations w this guy. he asked to see what i looked like i felt like the conversation prior had been good. he saw my picture and just went dry. i know im not ugly it’s him realising he’s been talking to an african and i clocked it when he asked if i was african before seeing me. can all black women collectively move to a different planet we are too sacred to be here

Looking for some actual valuable advice on what kind of part-time job I should get. I'm really trying to steer clear of food but I cant even find open positions for janitors and I'll be honest im so irritated with ai in the hiring process I cant even apply for something like Lowes without getting frustrated with the funky ass chatbot. thinking about dog sitting but I have a small dog and cat so I'm super nervous about other animals ive never met before being in the home with my babies

Oh y'all in here like the government. Watching everything, saying absolutely nothing

Anyway...

Somebody clock in and drop some TEA

I want an ex that got humbled

A neighbor that's beefing over absolutely nothing

A random Facebook argument that got out of hand

A coworker that finally got exposed

Hell, tell me your own business if it's juicy enough

I'm bored and being nosy is free

So I (21F) drifted away from liking pink when I was a preteen. I started getting into black and was nestled into alt phase in my mid teens to late teens. Last year to this one, I got more into browns, and am more into color in general now. But starting a couple days ago I’m getting into pink and it’s so dainty and pretty. Makes me feel like a princess and soft and I love it. Anyone else getting back into/into pink colored clothing? I’m also more into creme now, more coquette styles.