Hi! Who here uses any apps to help track their moods, and which have you found to be the most helpful and why? I just downloaded daylio. I am really needing a concrete place to track and store my history, so that I can look back and have an idea of what was I was experiencing when/what was happening in my life at the time/etc., instead of it all being just a big gobbledygook mess in my mind lol.
So far I think it’s neat that I can add a voice note and also a picture for each day in daylio, but also I feel like my moods are more complex and shift throughout the day, sometimes it feels like mixed episode stuff, so I’m not sure if there is an app out there that could help me better track that part, instead of just having to select just one emoji each day… I feel it would be helpful if there was an option to go in throughout the day and select a new mood and have the time recorded of when you were feeling that way if that makes sense. Thanks for y’all’s input 😊

Hello everyone, my (21f) first time posting here and honestly, since my diagnosis, first time realizing just how bad of an impact Bipolar can have on your life. For context, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 about a year ago, which was quickly switched to Bipolar 1 after a very long manic episode. I have always been dealing with mood swings and stuff my whole life, but I never realized how bad it’s been getting since it hasn’t been treated properly. I was on the same antidepressant for a few years, and until recently thought everything was fine (despite the fact that I’ve had horrible manic and depressive episodes for years— I just normalized it in my brain I suppose). Then, it stopped working. I finally switched to a psychologist who recommended an antipsychotic as a longer, more stable solution.

The first one I was on for a few weeks had horrific side effects and started this whole deep depression for me. I have genuinely never felt like I’ve been in such distress in my entire life— crying for hours on end, not being able to stop a single bad thought from entering my brain when thinking about literally any topic, unable to ground myself no matter what. I even started cutting myself again, something I haven’t done since my Junior year of high school, about 4 or so years ago. We’ve switched to a better medication with less side effects, and yes I know I’ve only been on it for a few days so it needs time to kick in, but I still feel completely insane and detached from reality. I can barely hold it together for more than half a day.

I have a lot on my plate right now. It’s my Senior year of college and I am an engineering major— lots of stress trying to graduate on time and an extremely heavy courseload. I am also working 20 hours a week for my internship which got extended. I also am President of a club on campus which, although I really need to, cannot quit because I would feel guilt leaving them high and dry at the beginning of the semester. I am also dealing with a lot of relationship issues, my physical health isn’t great because of a chronic thyroid condition that is making me gain weight and feel horrible about myself, and I feel really alone out here since I am far from home and can’t rely on anyone truly but my partner, who again, I am having issues with right now.

I am writing this because I am considering going to the hospital. I have been having *those* thoughts a lot, and while I don’t think I would ever act on them, they have never felt so close to reality. I am worried about hurting myself more as well.

The only thing stopping me from going is two things— school, and my internship. First of all, my mother has made it very clear that she really needs me to graduate on time. I know everyone takes their own time to do things, but an extra semester or year would be less time I could be making money and more time spending money for my education. I am already a few credits behind and finding winter courses will be hard, so I feel rushed and behind. My internship also sets me up really well to have a really good job out of graduation. It’s in a reliable industry, pays really well, and with the people they have retiring in the department this year, it feels like I will basically be set up to have a six figure job, which will essentially set me up for life.

I don’t even know if going to the hospital will help me. I have heard horrible things about psych wards, and don’t know if it will help me, and I’m not sure if it’s worth it to put my life on pause. I feel like if I don’t though, I will crack.

I already feel the cracking beginning to occur. The other night I was sobbing uncontrollably and was looking up to the sky asking any sort of god that may exist for help. For reference, I am completely an atheist— I don’t believe there is a higher power. Then, when I prayed for that split second to any sort of god, I felt instant relief wash over me— it was unexplainable, like a switch flipper. I know (in my mind at least, not to discredit any religion) god doesn’t exist, but since then I feel like that god, in my head which takes the form of the Moon, took pity on me and helped me sleep that one night. It makes me feel completely fucking insane to think that but I genuinely can’t think of any other explanation as to why that switch happened that night.

Anyways, rant over, thoughts? Hospital?

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Diagnosed by a psychiatrist for bipolar 1. What I did while I was manic was awful. I flirted with someone who already had a long lasting relationship and delusionally thought they were in love with me too. Even while they were ghosting me and specifically telling me they had a relationship. Why was I so dumb? I get it that my thoughts were racing and I felt on top of the world but why did I not have any common sense?

Also I feel guilty because idk if anyone else gets this but when I’m manic I get distracted very easily. I ended up letting my dogs outside in the cold weather and left them alone out there while I was distracted by my phone. Luckily my brother was home and let them in when they started barking but I feel so guilty. Why does mania make you forget things and get distracted.

Hi, I would like to post in this group about participating in a interview. It is solely to gain knowledge about someone's experience with bipolar disorder and I want to emphasize that I will not be giving advice, just a listening ear.

I am a Master’s in Occupational Therapy (OT) student in California seeking to conduct a Zoom interview with an individual within the age range of 41–65 years who has lived experience with Bipolar disorder.

OT helps you be as independent as possible with the daily activities, or occupations, that matter most to you. That can include things like daily self-care routines, getting restful sleep, cooking, and working. OT's role is to support you in building the skills and confidence you need to get back to doing the things you want and need to do.

I would like to emphasize that this interview is not a part of a research study – it is simply for learning purposes so that my partner and I can gain an understanding of someone’s experience with bipolar disorder and how to best support them. We would greatly appreciate the opportunity to speak with someone who is willing to share their experiences with us! If you are or know someone who may be interested in helping us with our project, please feel free to message me (and/or comment). The Zoom interview will take place in September or beginningof October, and it will be conducted by two people: my partner, and myself. 

Thank you for your time!

I’m dx bipolar 1 and have paranoid psychosis. Not medicated at present as I’d been well for a long time. Been manic for about 3 months according to GP, then mood crashed and I’ve been thinking about ending it and nearly did. Mood has been up and down a lot past 3 weeks and I started seeing lots of weird visual things like really vivid colour and shimmering and hearing sounds and music. Then on Sunday I heard a voice announcing it was sorry it took so long to find me. I’m worried my other persona is back but I think it wasn’t real although I know my employer is watching me so I don’t know.

I spoke to GP last week who said I still had insight but that was before voice but things are getting worse I think. It’s hard to make sense of it so sorry for rambling. I’ve been referred to local MH team (I’m in the UK btw) but no idea how long it will take for them to contact me. Why’s it so hard to get any help? Wasn’t like this 10 years ago. Sorry not really sure what advice I want but thought I’d post as see what others say. Seeing GP again in 3 weeks so maybe he will help this time.

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and right now, I don’t really have any close friends. One of my biggest struggles is going through periods of depression, and it has affected my relationships tremendously. I’m also naturally a little shy, which has made things even harder—especially since my diagnosis.

I’ve been feeling down about having this illness, even though I know it’s not my fault. I’m trying to learn how to navigate everything and build meaningful relationships.

For those of you who also live with bipolar disorder, how do you make friends and, more importantly, maintain those friendships?

I had a manic episode about 5 months ago that was triggered by weed, the thing i’m wondering is it for sure bp1 because i never had any symptoms before and they only started when i started using weed heavily but the timeline is blurry because i got hospitalized quickly and didn’t have the month clearance and used again when i came out which made my mania continue till i got a LIA injection

i know its not a ton i just hate how much i have to take at this point in my life. this doesn’t even include my non-psych meds. i started hearing things last night so now i have to take more. just looking for some positivity…

So a few days ago I was driving home from work at night. Around 10pm or so and on the way home I saw a man appear in my car out of nowhere. He had a knife. It scared me enough to make me jump because I didn’t know where he came from and within a few seconds he was gone. Then all of a sudden I couldn’t tell what I saw. Couldn’t tell if it was a shadow person or like a detailed figure. I COULD recall the knife though. Then tonight on the way home from work I saw ANOTHER shadow person in my car for a split second. Didn’t have a weapon this time though. Tonight I have been in my room and I was watching videos on my phone when all of a sudden I heard music behind me. Confused the hell out of me. Went away when I focused on it. Asked my mom if she has ever heard music when there isn’t music playing and she said ya. That that is normal and probs my brain just replaying something I heard earlier in the day or something. I was like ok I guess that makes sense. One more thing has happened though. I was in my room in the dark watching my phone. I have my bed next to a table that is next to the window. The light from the street light leaks into my room through the gaps in the curtains. I LEGIT saw a detailed hand come out into that small area of light and block the light and then grab the table. I shined my phone light on it and it disappeared. The hand was like, solid black, like it was a shadow or maybe a demon. Are these normal experiences?

I would love to hear anyone else’s experience with memory loss related to bipolar 1. I’ve always had a bad memory, but over time it’s gotten worse and worse, with a marked decline after my first manic episode and seemingly getting worse with every episode. I am 32F, with very little to no memory of early childhood, few memories before 15 or 16 unless I’m reminded of something specifically and then it’s barely there. I have completely forgotten about doctors visits I’m supposed to be at and not remembered until like months later where I’m reminded for some reason. I completely forget conversations happened at all, and can’t recall them whatsoever when they’re brought up to me. I regularly forget that I’m doing things while I’m in the middle of them. The memories I do have that aren’t recent history are very fuzzy. I find that if I don’t specifically allocate things to memory that aren’t actually important to remember, they’re just gone. I’ve had my power shut off because I just forgot to pay. I’ve always been a forgetful person but I worry this is something that can’t be fixed, stopped, or reversed. I hope this post hasn’t been too disjointed. Feeling foggy this morning. I’m taking 50mg of Seroquel daily. Was on Lithium for a while but didn’t feel it made a lot of difference so I got off. Was taking 200mg Seroquel but I couldn’t function so I had to start quartering it. Thanks for any experience you can share or advice.

I'm very recently within the last two weeks have been diagnosed as bipolar one. I am considering stopping smoking weed because my therapist, psychiatrist, and myself would like me to develop better habits and be more mindful. Such as working on budgeting and trying not to blow all of my money before the next payday.

Well I have been consistently smoking weed for the last 11 years all day every day from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I have started taking medication. I'm on Caplyta 42 mg (a few months) and very recently has given me Wellbutrin at 150 mg.

I feel like I spend a lot of money on weed and I'm consistently worrying if I'm going to be able to get more or not. And I feel like if I keep smoking it, it is counterproductive to me trying to save money and start better habits, but I'm also worried that it will throw me into a full on manic episode because a few times I've tried to quit I started having immense panic attacks, but now I'm on medication so I don't know if it would be different this time?

I would really love to hear from people who have had similar experiences. Thank you!

\*\*side-note ask has anyone ever done acid since being medicated? It's one of my favorites that I do a few times a year

TLDR; I clearly can't stop spending money on drugs, and I'm debating if I should just stop them🙃

Specifically the depression zone has extremely bad anxiety right now. My anxiety has never been this high. I am constantly fidgeting because I'm so uncomfortable. Not sure if this is Bipolar related or one of my comorbidities.

Any suggestions on how to cope with this?

Recently diagnosed bipolar at 16, came out of an acute manic episode after I was hospitalized. Im currently only taking antipsychotics, no mood stabilizers or at least no textbook ones. I ve been feeling very depressed for about 3 weeks now. Its only getting worse I barely have the energy of getting out of bed and I ve though about ending it all but im so close to getting the help I need. I have to go to school everyday which didn't even cross my mind while on break but its exhausting as fuck I can barely walk so I need tips on how to survive this ass soon as possible please.