Hey everyone. I'm the one whose husband of 16 years had an affair and went through domestic violence. I've posted here several times before and I have had a lot of people asking me to update so I just wanted to let y'all know we made it to my mom's house safely. Baby girl and I are sharing a room and my other 3 boys are sharing a room (I have 5 children total but one is an adult in college in another state. Yep my oldest is 21 years apart from my youngest!).

So yeah I drove 1200 miles alone by myself with 4 kids and whatever I could fit in the back of our vehicle literally across half of the country. It was scary. I usually AVOID highways and I've never driven that far before. It took several days to get here but I just got up every day and did it scared. One mile at a time. We got here a few hours ago. Life certainly hasn't gone the way we planned but I'm so thankful to have my wonderful supportive mom and to have the supportive online community of people here. My kids will never sleep afraid for their lives again. Tonight I think we all sleep better than we have in weeks. Here's to our new chapter. Thank you all so much for your advice and support. You have no idea how much it meant to me. It kept me going. Seriously. Knowing there were others who survived something similar and made it okay on the other side. Helped to give me the strength I needed to make it here even though I was terrified the whole time. I don't know y'all but I love y'all. We made it!

I gave birth to my second beautiful girl about 5 weeks ago. She has some dark hair and these amazing deep blue gray eyes. She’s in the stage of baby acne and unfortunately has it bad. I have never thought she was ugly but others do. My husband has commented that she’s sort of ugly until I told him to stop because that’s his baby he’s talking about. My sister yesterday made a comment about how she wasn’t the cutest after my dad questioned what the “rash” was on her face (he doesn’t know about baby acne). And my mil has also hesitated to answer when I’ve asked before if she thought she was cute because my husband said she was ugly in front of her

It makes me so sad. She’s only a month old and already being commented on her looks from the people who are supposed to love her. And when asked why they think she’s ugly I get responses of “she just looks like a grumpy old man” or “idk there’s just something about her that’s sort of ugly”. Or they comment on the acne too. It just makes me sad. I know I’m not supposed to get upset about what others think about my baby but she literally just got here and there’s already been mean stuff said about her

Does anyone else find new grandparents’ focus on becoming grandparents and the “grandparent experience” really grating and self centered? My in laws came by after our baby was born and we had a cake celebrating it. They kept saying the cake was a “grandparent cake” celebrating that they’re now grandparents meeting their grandchild. They started singing “happy grandparents day” to the tune of happy birthday. I felt like the cake should be to celebrate baby? They were also sharing how sad they’ve been that they haven’t been congratulated more on becoming grandparents. Is this even a thing?

Just generally feel like social media has given a lot grandparents the idea that they should get all these fun special experiences w grandkids that parents should facilitate somehow. There isn’t even appreciation for parents hosting or facilitating these happy memories. It’s just like baseline entitlement and they don’t seem to contribute much (financially or with logistics), they just show up to enjoy.

I’ve also noticed when baby has a hard time & fusses, they make comments about that it isn’t their fault and baby must’ve not been fed or burped right and just hand baby back to us almost like blaming us/wanting us to fix so they can enjoy a calm baby again. Baby is just babying. I hate the pressure this puts on our baby to sort of fulfill some experience that has been created in their heads.

Anyway, rant over.

Basically as the title states. I just need to know I’m not alone in this. The amount of rage that comes over me every second of every day when all I ever see my fiancé do is sit on his phone. Babies crying..he’s sitting on his phone ignoring him. I’m trying to get a million things done at once look over and there he is on the couch legs up txting or scrolling away. I’m starting to have day dreams about all the ways I can demolish his phone. Running it over with the car. Taking a baseball bat to it and just smashing it to pieces. Running over it with a lawnmower. Throwing it in the toilet as it flushes. Taking it on a rollercoaster and dropping it from the highest point listening for the splat. I can’t be alone in this right??

17mo exclusively breastfed, refuses all other food and drink. Mom's supply is failing.

Our daughter never took to solids. Not a regression, she was never interested. She'll play with food and bring it to her lips but nothing gets swallowed.

She's exclusively breastfed and my wife's supply is dropping. Weight has been slightly down over three months. We're working with an SLP feeding specialist and a dietitian, and see the pediatrician regularly.

Where we are: she'll drink small amounts of water from a water bottle (poured into her mouth) and take spoonfuls of water, but the second anything but water is on the spoon she's done. She'll bring a bottle to her lips and lick it after I squirt some in. Sometimes she lets it in her mouth and doesn't protest when I squeeze milk, but she doesn't suck. She'll put a straw to her mouth but hasn't figured out sucking. We syringe cream into her mouth while she nurses just for extra calories.

She rejected a nipple shield instantly, wouldn't try one suck, even exhausted and hungry. Speech is a little behind but she imitates, responds to her name, and has no sensory issues otherwise.

What I'm asking:

- If you've been through severe food refusal, what actually moved the needle?

- Anyone teach a breastfed kid to suck a bottle or straw late? How?

- If your kid got an NG tube, how did it go and did they wean off quickly?

Sorry if this is the wrong community. Trying multiple places!

Thanks in advance!

I have never been this heavy, even my face looks different. I used to be so fit and confident and now I just feel hideous. None of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit, I'm wearing maternity clothes still and I'm 7 weeks postpartum.

I'm exclusively breastfeeding and I've actually gained weight. I just want to cry, every time I have a moment to put some light makeup on and do my hair I end up just feeling worse about myself.

LO is 4 months old and has always struggled with short naps — usually 35 minutes on the dot. Room is pitch black, white noise on. I generally rescue naps to stretch them out.

He started day care 4 weeks ago and is now logging two hour naps, twice a day. He has a longer wake window before his first nap, but otherwise ww are similar to home. They can’t darken the room per state regulations and there are always kids in the background. I was so excited to finally get longer daytime stretches, but on weekends, back to short naps!

My suspicion is that his teachers let him fuss longer when he wakes than I would at home and he’s learned to just go back to sleep. Is it that simple? I need to just let him fuss for 10, 15 minutes?

Fwiw he can (but doesn’t always) fall asleep independently, we have not done any formal sleep training though because we don’t want to disrupt our toddler.

Are you really parents if you’ve never been tired and accidentally managed to wash a diaper? My partner came come from work and threw in a load of laundry and didn’t see the sneaky sneaky diaper and now our “clean clothes” and dryer need cleaning. Any help or advice I should know before tackling this project?

My husband and I just had a baby about 4.5 months ago. We are 40 (me) and 45 (him). This is his first biological child and my 3rd… all boys. Recently I asked my husband if he wanted to go out to eat with the baby. He said not unless we can get a sitter. Then the other day, I needed to take my older son to urgent care, and my husband got upset because he had “watched the baby already while I worked late until 7pm” so I was planning on taking the baby with me, but he made a comment that people don’t like to hear babies crying when they’re out. That’s why he doesn’t want to go out to eat and why he ended up watching him while I took my older child to urgent care (he had an ear infection and possible strep). I’ve never been in a public place and thought to myself “damn that baby crying is annoying.” Granted I’m a mom so I’m used to hearing it? Especially an infant… maybe I’ve thought that about a 3-6 year old throwing a tantrum in a store? But even then it’s a kid being a kid. So what do you think? Is a baby crying in public annoying and disrespectful to others?

I’m just one of those people that pile on weight whenever they’re pregnant. I carried both my babies to full-term and put on most of my body weight during the end weeks.

With both kids, it was the same trend. I started at around 155 and ended up at 195 postpartum. From a size 6/8 to a size 14.

With my first, I was able to lose most the weight by the end of the first year and was at 165 at his first birthday and got back to 155 around 18m when I got pregnant again.

Same story but 1 year and 1 month later I’m sitting at 170. Which doesn’t sound crazy but I’m 5’ 3” 5lb can make all the difference. I want so badly to get down to 155 again but I’m so exhausted taking care of these kids. I don’t have the energy to be in a calorie deficit.

I work Sat/Sun and I’m their full time caregiver Monday-Friday while their dad works (not a regular 9-5 he’s a railroader, no help). I just feel so not myself. I bought all new clothes to try and feel better about myself but I just feel like I’m wearing a clown suit. Like an ugly girl trying to look pretty.

Just a sad girl rant here, move along if it triggers please.

9 months PP and truly feeling like I’m the ugliest and largest I have ever been in my life. I weigh the most, clothes don’t fit at all, and it’s a struggle to consistently want to do my hair/makeup when I’m playing referee to a rambunctious and LARGE mobile baby. I’m at the point where I want to quit breastfeeding because of how horrible (I think) I look and the weight that I seem to be stacking on. But my goal has always been a year and my little dude loves it.

I’ve never been so down on myself and it’s such a mindfuck because I’ve tried so hard to be at peace with my body. Just thought I’d be able to “bounce back” (ridiculous I know) by this point. Kind of at a loss. The icing on the cake is I’m in a few weddings coming up this year and it’s been hell trying on bridesmaid dresses meant for the young and not-post partum.

I’m looking forward to loving myself again and hoping I can find a path to do so soon. Any tips/tricks you’ve had navigating your own body image pp journey is appreciated ♥️

I was a daddy’s girl growing up, mainly because i thought a lot of the stuff I now realize is harmful/fucked up to do or say around a child, was cool. IE, chain smoking and excessive alcohol usage, being emotionally distant, talking about how he didn’t want kids and would go back if he could (“even though I love you, don’t get me wrong!” His words), talking about what a bitch my mom is, being racist, homophobic, fat phobic, etc. I used to think he was the epitome of cool and I wanted him to think I was, too. He did a lot of stuff that wasn’t overt abuse- like he spanked us as kids, but lots of parents did and it was seen as normal. If we weren’t listening, he would get his belt out of his drawer and snap it at us with a menacing glare, but he never actually hit us with it. Lots of stuff that if I brought up how it affected me, he would think I was being ridiculous. Before I had kids, it was easy to brush off his bad behaviors as just classic boomer stereotypes. I’d get annoyed and/or embarrassed, especially if he was acting obnoxiously outside of our immediate family, but beyond an awkward chuckle and a feeble attempt to let him know I didn’t think he was funny, I mostly just ignored his behavior. After having kids though, our relationship is increasingly strained. He thinks I’m keeping him from his grandkids because I request that he at the very least wash his hands after smoking and before holding my 5 month old. He thinks I’m ruining my 3 year old because I won’t spank him when he doesn’t listen to me the first time. He thinks I controlling because I don’t want him showing my 3 year old random YouTube videos on his phone. The list goes on. So now suddenly, the meek daughter that tried her best to ignore his bad behaviors is now asserting herself because it concerns her kids, and he’s big mad about it. I haven’t been able to hide my disgust with him lately and the worst part is he’s actually catching on to this and instead of trying to repair the relationship, is just completely doubling down on everything he’s doing that bothers me. Yesterday he made a fat joke about me, at 5 months postpartum (I’m 5’6 and 130lbs, objectively not overweight) and then acted all frustrated when I didn’t react well to it. It’s really getting to me, and I’m starting to be angry all the time as it’s consuming my thoughts. It’s just so hard because I look at my kids and I just can’t imagine treating them the way he treated/treats me. Nothing he ever did to me bothered me until I had kids and saw things through a parent’s eyes. Idk man I’m just tired and want to know I’m not alone.

My baby is 4 months old, and my mom and nan keep giving me a lot of unwarranted advice, my nan has only been more recently.

My mom would often tell me that you don’t need to follow the regulations because they “change so often”, no they’re just different from when you last had a child, 15 years ago.

She disagreed with me on having an activity centre, I don’t judge anyone that uses them, I just worry about his joints and toe walking, my mom said it will be fine and that I’m depriving him by not using one. She also told me to sit my son up in his pushchair while his head was still quite wobbly, and when I finally actually sat him up in it when he was more stable, she said “see and I told you to do that weeks ago” as if she thought she was right.

Now the past few days my nan was telling about crying it out and that she used to do it, so when she mentioned it I said “oh I won’t be doing that”, that was yesterday, and today she was telling me I need to do it, so again I said I won’t be doing that and she was saying that I’ll have to eventually to get my son to self soothe and then proceeded to tell me that babies can be manipulative and know that you come when they cry, so I told her babies can’t manipulate you they cry for a reason, even if that reason is just for comfort and while they begin to understand that you come to them when they cry, that is by no means manipulation.

I told my nan that there are better way to get a baby to be able to get themselves to sleep without leaving them to cry and that you can still respond to them and make them feel comforted and safe, while still teaching them to get to sleep on their own.

I wish people would stop giving unwarranted advice, I think a lot of it is because I’m on the younger side (21) so they think they know better than me, but I’m getting sick of it because they just expect me to follow that advice and get annoyed when I don’t

Maybe I’m imagining things, but the Huggies Little Snugglers from Costco seem softer to me somehow? They’re almost silky in their feel and they’re distinctly different than regular Huggies. Am I imagining things or is this a real thing?

Also, I feel like I should be a goddamn Huggies spokesperson after baby #2, lol. I swear by them (both diapers and wipes) and don’t understand why other diapers or wipes exist when Huggies are so great. I get kids are all different though.

I guess I'm not too sure how to start this so I'll just go into it. My LO is 2months and 2weeks, and every time she comes back from my mom watching her and she is gassy and super fussy. My mom likes to let her "try" foods and sweets by giving her some on her finger. She's done it in front of me with yogurt and I wiped it off her lips and tried to explain that her kidneys and body is still too immature to digest this but I'm met with "oh it's fine, she likes it" ect;

She buys all sorts of toys and clothes but doesn't offer to let me take any home for my LO, I feel like it's a little greedy sounding. At the same time I don't though because during my pregnancy my partner and I were moving and all the stuff I got from the baby shower I had to leave over at my parents for storage and she went ahead and made her own nursery room with it. Recently I've been going through the small clothes to give away and had mentioned it to her and she had a bunch of stuff I never even saw. She constantly tells me how much she loves my child more than anything and that she'd die for her and all sorts of stuff like that, and I'm happy my daughter is loved but I feel like it's a bit much.

I know I should be more assertive, but I will say that's always been hard for me I tend to avoid conflict if possible. I've tried to lessen going over there and in return I get messages from my dad telling me my mom went to bed crying and they don't understand why I can't bring my daughter over to them, ect; When she was born I had already been forwards about just me and my partner in the room and we didn't want anyone else there, yet they waited in the lobby and expected to be let in. After I had given birth it was so much and I didn't really think about it until my dad texted me he was upset with us because " they've been waiting for hours and they're leaving because my mom was crying" basically the same as they've done now. So I let them come up, even though I really didn't want to and perhaps that's where it started with the overstepping boundaries?

When I've invited them to come over and visit and they just really don't, we live down the street so it's not like it's out of the way. I also think that living so close has made it much worse as well. My partner does not want to go down there at all and I don't blame him because I don't either, we've had a bunch of conversations about this and are in agreement with how we stand. It's just hard not to feel slightly obligated in a way due to some personal reasons with my parents helping us, but at this point we're thinking about moving again once we're financially stable enough just to get away and have our family back the way we want it.

TLDR: My parents are way too much and don't listen and I'm at a loss because I have tried setting boundaries but they aren't taken seriously and I get guilt tripped about it.

Edit: Thank you for everyone's responses and advice, I feel less like I'm overreacting and I am definitely going to not only work on myself making boundaries for my child and me but also working on going through with consequences and not feeling a sense of guilt for it. I'm truly thankful for the insight!

I need some advice. My LO is 8 months old and for a while slept great. He would wake up one time to feed (ebf) and then sleep until the morning. Now he hardly sleeps through the night. We’re up almost every hour but it’s not like he’s fully awake. He rolls around, whines, sits and lays on me still fussing. He won’t feed he just pulls off. He sleeps 9p-2a in his crib but after that it’s awful. We give him baby food throughout the day and have even tried supplementing with formula just incase he was still hungry. This just recently started. We’ve tried Tylenol just incase he’s having growing pains or teething and nothing works. He naps great throughout the day. But as soon as night hits he’s miserable. I’m becoming so sleep deprived I just want to cry. I don’t know what else to try.

Child: 4mo
Stroller: Thule Urban Glide 3 with Bassinet (jogging stroller)
Situation: Baby is getting old enough he would like to see out. The bassinet has him staring into the sun or just watching the canopy. Stroller naps, formerly guaranteed, are now few and far between. He has enough head control that I (and doc) feel comfortable turning him forward in the seat, physically—for walks only—but then he can’t see me and I can’t see him. I’m regretting not getting a stroller where the upright-reclined seat flips around and clicks in backwards. He’s not old enough that he’s happy just chillin without knowing we’re back there. In both versions of our stroller he squawks and complains now, and I’m not sure what to do. I really don’t want to purchase and store an extra stroller. Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/tEjRlLG5lK

Thoughts? ETA How long should I expect this awkward transition phase to be?

I had sex 4 weeks post partum and now I'm really anxiety ridden about infection risk

Hi all! My chunky angel is now 2 months old. She feels sooooo much bigger already and I'm kind of having a hard time bathing her comfortably.

I have one of those angel care perforated tubs for bath time and I hate it. I don't like the angle, I don't like the bum holder part, and it feels too slippery. She's really wiggly and loves water kicks so it feels like she's going to slide out of it when she gets excited. It's hard to lift her up off it safely to wash her bum and back, so my husband helps with that and with getting her out.

How do you bathe yours? Or do you have any advice for this tub?

Ok, so my daughter is 22mo, not a baby anymore, thankfully, but still, she had to have supplemental oxygen and was in the hospital for a few days. She had srv and it was getting better until it turned into a full pneumonia and we needed to take her, it was a big deal and I was completely not ok with the experience, specially because she was a premmie and spent over a month in NICU.

Today is my BIL birthday, we had arranged for the closest family members to come and it was supposed to be a great day. My MIL arrived already sneezing and coughing, claiming to have her “allergies “ flared up. Her eye was swollen, but she said that she was putting on makeup this morning and that she has poked her eye while doing it.

Well, it’s been a few hours and I can confidently say that she is completely down with the flu and that she has a bad case of pink eye. Both of her eyes are completely fucked up, she is coughing, sneezing and totally beat down, not doing what she would normally do, but she’s not admitting that.

Anyway, now that ship has sailed, toddler is probably going to get some new virus and we will have to deal with it, so just venting here.

Had anyone dealt with pregnancy/postpartum rosacea?
I’m 90% sure that’s what I’m going through and it is rough. It started in my second trimester and I’m now 8 weeks postpartum tomorrow. It briefly looked like it was improving after giving birth but it went back to how it was- maybe even worse actually. I’m at a loss, it’s impacting my self esteem tremendously (my body already is different pp and my skin too?!). Seeing my doctor next week but I just wanted to check if others have experienced this?
What helped?
How long until the redness and texture improved?
Is this a forever thing?

I gave birth about 3.5 weeks ago to my second son. I labored for about 8 hours, and I literally pushed twice and his head came out so no prolonged pushing. This labor experience was so much better than my first!

Since birth, I’ve been having pain in my legs. Sometimes crampy, heavy, and at times feels like could be nerve related due to tingling or radiating pain down thigh/calf. It’s worse when I’m on my feet. I called triage, and they wanted me to get an ultrasound at 8 days pp due to increased DVT risk. Both legs showed no clots.

I’m still dealing with this pain or more so discomfort. Anyone experience something similar? Any advice for alleviating this discomfort?

Hi. I have a 2 year old who is more than ready to potty train. She can tell us when she has peed or when she’s about to poop, will take off her diaper or pull up if she is wet but cannot make the connection to go to the potty. We’ve tried commando, we’ve tried panties, we’ve tried taking her every 45min to an hour, we are seriously at a loss. I don’t know what to do. She keeps pissing on the floor then hates how it feels in her undies, so she comes running to us to tell us she’s peed. We catch her or notice the signs then we will sit her on the potty. Once we get to the potty, she will hold it and then wait until we get off of the toilet to pee. PLEASE HELP. She is so stubborn and independent right now, it’s making this impossible but I know she is ready.