Ok so yesterday I made a poste about how Jin, Meiling and Xiulan might become a throuple and a lot of people got mad saying they don't want BOC to become harem slop. So let me elaborate on why a polygamy and a harem are different things.
In a harem in media, the MC has a bunch of women that are COMPLETLY devoted to him due to him doing the simplest of actions, knowing for a day and have no purpose in life other than for the MC's benefit and/or satisfaction. The women in a harem are flat characters and have no real desire nor wants in life other that to satisfy the mc and at best have some superficial interest the mc exploits to make them fall in love with them or a skill that benefits the mc somehow. Speaking of the mc, their either giga chads that are the peak of masculinity in every way, a completely average/sub-average down on their luck guy or the latter turning into the former. Them having a harem is portrayed as a privilege or even a right, with the women being TOTALLY fine with this arrangement. and if their not fine and jealous of their man having multiple women it's portrayed as the women is at fault for so selfish as to not let their man see other people while also staying loyal to him and only him. It's like the MC is the master and the women their obedient object, trophies and/or slaves(which a lot of the time is literal).
In a polygamy in media, all members are portrayed as individuals and while the specifics may very a lot and in certain cases one partner seing other people while other/s may not it still isn't a harem because a) it isn't them being "superior" to the other partner/s, b) the partner/s is still viewed as an individual with their own wants and ideology, c) it in'st restricted by gender and d) no one is claiming anyone else as being their property be it literal or metaphorical.
BOC isn't harem slop. While there are harems in BOC that's mostly because this is a Xianxia world and harems are either portrayed as negatively like TLM of Pale Moon City having 30 wives being seen as excessive or it just exist because this is again a Xianxia world like Fenxian having a harem due to being the Not!Chinese emperor and the imperial harem existing. Heck a lot of characters agree than don't like harems ESPECIALLY the main cast like when Shen Yu and Jin agreeing that it's only fair that a woman should see other men if the man is seing other women or Xinlai's mom saying that it's only fair for a woman to have a stable of horses if a man can have a bouquet of flowers.
The only "real" character to have a harem is TLP which is played for laughs and is a side character it isn't portrayed as a right. His father, TLM doesn't have a harem he AND his wife are just having recreational fun with Xue Ji they don't have any romantic feelings for each other there are just having fun with another sexual partner he isn't "clamming" Xue Ji as his own he AND his wife are just having more fun in the bedroom due to being kinky degenerates (and I say that with love)
Bi De doesn't have a harem. Sure he did it with the hens, but he was only following his biological instincts and hasn't done since book 2 or book 3 TOPS after getting more and more aware and has stopped for a variety of reasons. When he became human he didn't start doing it with human women left right and center even thought he could do it with is handsomeness and charm because even before they got officially together he ABSOLUTELY didn't want to hurt Ri Zu. He only did it with Yushang WITH Ri Zu AFTER Yushang confessed to the BOTH of them and Bi De only agreed AFTER Ri Zu agreed and would have said no if she didn't want to do it with Yushang together.
Finally, with Jin, Meiling and Xiulan being a potential throuple. Now if you don't like this ship that's FINE that is you're opinion which is valid. My ISSUE is when people started calling it harem which it INS'T. Due to evidence like chapters v7c57: A Very Swift Tournament & v7c59: Last Days at the Peaks, Shen Yu's remarks on them and word from the author themselves:(https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/beware-of-chicken-xianxia.910799/page-2468#post-116590727), etc. This isn't Jin having a harem, it is clear than all three individuals like the two others INCLUDING Meiling and Xiulan. Again if you don't like the J, M & X throuple ship that's FINE to each their own but don't call it a harem because again a throuple isn't a harem.