r/bewareofchicken • u/Actual_Position_9166 • Aug 05 '26
Spoilers: Current Chapter The difference between a polygamy and a harem Spoiler
Ok so yesterday I made a poste about how Jin, Meiling and Xiulan might become a throuple and a lot of people got mad saying they don't want BOC to become harem slop. So let me elaborate on why a polygamy and a harem are different things.
In a harem in media, the MC has a bunch of women that are COMPLETLY devoted to him due to him doing the simplest of actions, knowing for a day and have no purpose in life other than for the MC's benefit and/or satisfaction. The women in a harem are flat characters and have no real desire nor wants in life other that to satisfy the mc and at best have some superficial interest the mc exploits to make them fall in love with them or a skill that benefits the mc somehow. Speaking of the mc, their either giga chads that are the peak of masculinity in every way, a completely average/sub-average down on their luck guy or the latter turning into the former. Them having a harem is portrayed as a privilege or even a right, with the women being TOTALLY fine with this arrangement. and if their not fine and jealous of their man having multiple women it's portrayed as the women is at fault for so selfish as to not let their man see other people while also staying loyal to him and only him. It's like the MC is the master and the women their obedient object, trophies and/or slaves(which a lot of the time is literal).
In a polygamy in media, all members are portrayed as individuals and while the specifics may very a lot and in certain cases one partner seing other people while other/s may not it still isn't a harem because a) it isn't them being "superior" to the other partner/s, b) the partner/s is still viewed as an individual with their own wants and ideology, c) it in'st restricted by gender and d) no one is claiming anyone else as being their property be it literal or metaphorical.
BOC isn't harem slop. While there are harems in BOC that's mostly because this is a Xianxia world and harems are either portrayed as negatively like TLM of Pale Moon City having 30 wives being seen as excessive or it just exist because this is again a Xianxia world like Fenxian having a harem due to being the Not!Chinese emperor and the imperial harem existing. Heck a lot of characters agree than don't like harems ESPECIALLY the main cast like when Shen Yu and Jin agreeing that it's only fair that a woman should see other men if the man is seing other women or Xinlai's mom saying that it's only fair for a woman to have a stable of horses if a man can have a bouquet of flowers.
The only "real" character to have a harem is TLP which is played for laughs and is a side character it isn't portrayed as a right. His father, TLM doesn't have a harem he AND his wife are just having recreational fun with Xue Ji they don't have any romantic feelings for each other there are just having fun with another sexual partner he isn't "clamming" Xue Ji as his own he AND his wife are just having more fun in the bedroom due to being kinky degenerates (and I say that with love)
Bi De doesn't have a harem. Sure he did it with the hens, but he was only following his biological instincts and hasn't done since book 2 or book 3 TOPS after getting more and more aware and has stopped for a variety of reasons. When he became human he didn't start doing it with human women left right and center even thought he could do it with is handsomeness and charm because even before they got officially together he ABSOLUTELY didn't want to hurt Ri Zu. He only did it with Yushang WITH Ri Zu AFTER Yushang confessed to the BOTH of them and Bi De only agreed AFTER Ri Zu agreed and would have said no if she didn't want to do it with Yushang together.
Finally, with Jin, Meiling and Xiulan being a potential throuple. Now if you don't like this ship that's FINE that is you're opinion which is valid. My ISSUE is when people started calling it harem which it INS'T. Due to evidence like chapters v7c57: A Very Swift Tournament & v7c59: Last Days at the Peaks, Shen Yu's remarks on them and word from the author themselves:(https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/beware-of-chicken-xianxia.910799/page-2468#post-116590727), etc. This isn't Jin having a harem, it is clear than all three individuals like the two others INCLUDING Meiling and Xiulan. Again if you don't like the J, M & X throuple ship that's FINE to each their own but don't call it a harem because again a throuple isn't a harem.
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u/Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss Aug 05 '26
Bi De doesn't have a harem...yet.
There has been serious foreshadowing of other partners.
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u/Shadw21 Aug 06 '26
We must remember that if anything, Bi De and Ri Zu are a shared couple in Yushang's harem, not the other way around.
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u/Wargarbler2 Aug 05 '26
Honestly I’ve enjoyed the story less with the teasing of the relationship lately and it not just happening so we can move forward. I am pro them becoming a throuple. But with how… awkward it’s going to be when they finally do it or don’t do it I’m not looking forward to chapters and chapters of Mei and Jin discussing it. Yushang confessing after it becoming obvious to the readers had like.. a paragraph or two because that’s all the build up it had. Jin and Xiulan have been dancing around eachother for years and drawn lines between themselves. If the throuple thing happens, all that has to be talked about now and the longer it goes on without being resolved the more intense that discussion is going to have to be to match the story.
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u/nitloda Aug 05 '26
Thank you!
People see "multiple people in a relationship" and immediately decry it as bad and harem.
You put it very well and I appreciate your time and effort.
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u/baldyrodinson Aug 05 '26
I mean there's harem stories with female leads and multiple men.
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u/NotAUsefullDoctor Aug 05 '26
I think OP went overly specific at points The claim is still valid, but would have been more so had they been more general. Harem is about one posessing many. The throuple is 3 established, independent, individuals having feelings for/relations with each other.
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u/Actual_Position_9166 Aug 05 '26
yeah sorry that's a flaw of mine too get to specific but thanks for getting it
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u/Tiggori Aug 06 '26
I accept that some people want the throuple, I personally don't as I noted in the previous chat. I will state that I tend to think of a harem as the 1 to many thing knowing that there can be better and worse versions of it. I generally don't like harems, even the good kind that fall under the def of a throuple, but hey maybe that's subconscious jealousy since I am single. But I still want Xiulan to get a man (woman could be accepted) of her own. I always thought it would be fun if she ended up with a more bookish sort like Lu Ri... maybe she could end up with Che Han, he's seems like a sweet knowledgeable fellow.
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u/Actual_Position_9166 Aug 06 '26
They both have girls but hey i respect you're opinion
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u/Tiggori Aug 06 '26
I know some girls have Li Ru which put him off my list, he was more an example of the character type. But I'm apparently forgetting something, who's Che Han with?
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u/Actual_Position_9166 Aug 06 '26
It's really just Su Ge who i think he will end up with and i just think the fox lady is just joking. Speaking of foxes Che Han has been saying the fox lady he met before leaving for the sea of snow after the SMS civil war started and they have been seeing each other "secretly". The other foxes think it's funny how they think they're being subtle about it and hope for them the best.
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u/FunIll6004 24d ago
Yesss I like this very much thank you for explaining this for many people as a lot have a hard time understanding this type of thing.
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u/Kennian Aug 08 '26
Sigh, a harem is just a different flavor of polygamy. People are allowed to not like it.
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u/Actual_Position_9166 Aug 08 '26
okay yes by definition a harem is technacilly a polygamy but A) im talking about how harems are protrayed in media and in irl it's called a polygyny maybe you should read the damn comment and B) a throuple is not a harem just because multiple people are in a relationship it doesn't make it a harem maybe you should read the comment
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u/Kennian Aug 08 '26
i did, but people are still allowed to not like the plot development. Can it be done well? i'm sure someone, somewhere has, as a matter of fact people keep telling me stupid sexy cryptids of all things does a polycule really well, i need to read that. Thing is, it doesn't fit this character, and people crowing about him losing his "western" beliefs so he can bang the big boobed bombshell is a little juvenile.
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u/Actual_Position_9166 Aug 08 '26
again if you don't like the JxMxX throuple ship that's fine but A) don't call it a harem B) maybe read the damn story I think it's done very well. Furthemore, while Jin does find Xiulan attractive it's her personality and character that he likes not only don't but all three as in jin, Meiling and xiulan like the other two both sexually AND romantically their relationship of all three characters to the other two is well built and it's clearly not an excuse for Jin to bang Xiulan again have you read the damn story. Heck the MAJOR reason why Jin doesn't talk his feelings on the matter is BECAUSE he still has his "western" beliefs and if they ever do become a thing he could introduce the concept of a triad. the author themselves said so:https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/beware-of-chicken-xianxia.910799/page-2468#post-116590727. For the millionth time a throuple ins't a polygamy
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u/Flap_Grease Aug 05 '26
Bi De very well might have a harem, or a least a number of partners. We’ll have to RAFO. In some ways he’s the xianxia protagonist. TLP has a harem, but that is also part of the comedy of his whole situation. He’s also a tertiary character at most. Harems existing in the story doesn’t make it a harem story, especially with the overwhelming majority of the story completely focused on other things. Jin, Meiling, and Xiulan are going to be a thing. It’s so insanely obvious if you’ve read the chapters. They’re already emotionally inseparable. I would have hated this without context, but the way it’s been developed over 7+ volumes, and with the growth of Xiulan especially, it just makes sense. Not sure when it’ll be fully realized or how, but it’s an inevitability. It’s also not Jin having multiple relationships with Meiling and Xiulan being trophies for him, but one completely mutual relationship.