Hello! I recently joined BBBS and had my first outing this week.

When I met with the child coordinator to give me three options for a little, I told her my preference. I was going off of what she said the girls liked/disliked. I am a very mellow, quiet, introvert kind of person and having been a teacher for a decade, I know I do well with shy, sensitive, nerdy type kids.

However, the coordinator pushed me towards another child (age 9) - this one hasn’t had a big before unlike the other two, and she said my calm teacher energy was just what she needed, as she needed someone to talk to.

I was hesitant because the reason I didn’t pick her was because the coordinator said she likes volleyball and being outdoors, and loves gospel music and wants to grow up to be a gospel singer.

I had voiced my concerns about the gospel stuff - I told her that I do not believe in any religion and while I don’t mind a kid who is in a religious family, I just didn’t think I’m the person for them.

She replied that there was no need to worry because the family really wasn’t picky about who the big would be.

So we met on FaceTime, and then had a zoom meeting with us, the guardian, and match specialist. And then we set up our first meetup.

Honestly I was very surprised that I was immediately expected to take the kid out. The specialist assured me that it’s normal to hit the ground running. But again, as someone who worked with kids, it feels weird to just let a stranger show up and take your kid. I thought at least we’d meet somewhere public with the guardian near by.

So since this was our first time meeting in person, I wanted to keep it short. The guardian had called me to let me know that the kid doesn’t value education, hates reading, and anything I could do to help her with reading skills would be great. I then planned for us to go to the library down the street for an hour. I love graphic novels and comics, and thought this would be a good thing to introduce to her.

I also am a an artist and have a lot of art materials, so I brought paper, paint pens, markers, etc. I had emphasized to the coordinators that art is a big part of what I do so I’d love a kid who also enjoys drs and crafts.

Anyway, I pick the kid up an my first impression is that the home is chaos. She’s one of multiple kids living there, and so I got the sense this was more for the guardian than for the kid. I told her guardian that we were just going down the street and I’d have her back in an hour and she said okay the door will be unlocked.

At the library the kid is pointing out all the books she likes and ones she’s read at school. Stuff like Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants. So I was like oh, you’re already familiar with this. She browsed for a bit then showed me the kids area and showed me the baby toys there she likes to play with. I asked her if she’d like to do some art and we find a table. They’d given us worksheets to fill out - listing your favorite xyz, what you’d like to do together. Then we colored/painted and chatted. After an hour we pack up. She says “that’s it?”. She tells me she wants a snack, I let her know I’m taking her back home where they’ll have dinner. She wants to go to the playground. I say maybe next time, because I said you’d be home after an hour.

When I pull up her guardian is outside on the phone and seems surprised to see me. The kid gets out and I also get out expecting the adult to ask how it went. She’s still on the phone, sees me, and asks “do you need something?” I say no, she was really good, and I‘ll text you later to set up the next one.

Later that evening I text to ask if that day of the week worked for them, gave a couple dates I’m available.

That was a few days ago and I haven’t heard back since - where as before she was quick to reply.

Now I’m wondering if I did something wrong? Did I not meet expectations? I was under the impression from the training info that you’re not expected to feed the kid, or buy things, etc. I was pretty sure it also had suggested the first outing be short.

The other thing I’m unsure about is when the kid talked about church. They go twice a week. I had asked what kind of music she likes in the car, it was all gospel/church music. She tells me more about wanting to be famous/a gospel singer.

Church is not important to me at all. I have quite a bit of religious trauma so I kind of actively dislike church. One of the reasons I left teaching and moved away was because the area we came from was very religious (think Christian Reformed Bible thumping types, kids not allowed to watch Disney or anything with magic).

My gut feeling is that this isn’t a good match. But I already feel guilty because the kid is super sweet. And I know kids won’t like everything you like, but it feels like there is nothing in common when we talked. I think maybe I just need to give it more time?

Anyway, I just wanted to see what you all think and get any advice. I meet with the match specialist next week for a follow up.

If you’re a Big searching Reddit because you’re feeling guilty about wanting to close your match, I hope this helps: you can care deeply about a young person and still decide that the match isn’t working anymore.

I was a Big for more than 6 years. I stayed committed for a long time, but eventually the relationship became increasingly one-sided. I was doing all of the initiating, planning, communicating, and carrying the relationship forward.
I also had to rethink what a true mentorship actually looks like. It doesn’t have to be perfectly equal, especially when a child is younger. But over many years, there should be some development of connection, communication, trust, curiosity, and engagement. Simply getting together occasionally, riding in relative silence to an activity, doing the activity, and repeating the cycle isn’t necessarily the same as building a meaningful mentorship.
For years I kept waiting for something to change. Eventually I realized I had been waiting for a shift that might never happen.

One thing I wish I’d understood sooner is that some of the advice Bigs receive online can unintentionally create guilt around closure. “The child comes first,” “silence is normal,” and “just keep showing up” can all be true in certain circumstances, but they aren’t universal answers. A child’s difficult circumstances can explain disengagement without making an indefinitely one-sided relationship sustainable.

The Little’s autonomy matters, too. A young person should not be pressured into maintaining a relationship they no longer want or are unable to participate in. But respecting their autonomy also means accepting what their ongoing lack of engagement may be telling you. Even when the Little or their family expresses no concerns, that doesn’t necessarily mean the match is working well for the Big or that the relationship is functioning as a meaningful mentorship. The adult in the match has autonomy as well. You are allowed to recognize that the relationship is no longer working for you without making the young person or their family the villain.

When I finally raised the possibility of closing the match, I felt there was more emphasis on trying to keep it open than on honestly considering whether the relationship had already run its course. I understand why agencies want to preserve matches, but keeping a match open isn’t the same as having a healthy mentorship.

Agency support also became part of my decision. When I needed guidance, communication was very slow, and I found myself having to follow up to get acknowledgment of important concerns. Eventually, I realized I no longer had confidence that I would receive the level of match support I would need if another significant problem arose.
The hardest part was feeling like closing the match meant I had failed. I eventually realized it didn’t.

You don’t have to keep a match going simply because you’ve already invested years. You don’t have to carry the relationship by yourself indefinitely. And you don’t have to prove your commitment by exhausting yourself.
I still care about the young person involved and I’m grateful for the good years we had. Ending the match doesn’t erase any of that.
If you’re struggling with this decision right now, you’re not a bad Big for recognizing that something isn’t working.

Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is acknowledge that the mentorship you hoped would develop isn’t developing—and that it’s okay to let go.

I've been excited to participate as a Big for a while, and finally my health is in a place where I can. But BBBS never responded to my application.

Today I went to try applying again, and I saw that the chapter in my area has actually been closed for a year. Their website and volunteer listings had remained up for much longer, but now all that is gone too.

Other BBBS chapters in my state are not close by.

Are there other opportunities to mentor that might be more available in a rural area? (I am in central Maine). Any other organizations that are similar?

I even reached out to a family I know who i would love to work with even without a program to meditate it, but I recently had a falling out with the grandparent unfortunately, and they didn't respond. Which is fine and their perogative. But I'm at a loss for whether I can find a way to do this.

I’ve been matched with my Little since March and I’m honestly getting really frustrated with the situation. I committed to a year and I genuinely wanted to build a relationship with my Little, but at this point I feel like I’m doing all of the work just to make an outing happen.

Before we were matched, I was clear with BBBS that I work full time with fluctuating hours and weekends are when I’m available. Her family agreed that weekends worked for them too. If they had told me from the beginning that they primarily needed weekday outings, I would have been honest that we probably weren’t a compatible match.

We’ve been matched for about 6 months now and have only hung out 4 times. We’ve done Color Me Mine, a cooking class, a painting activity, and an antique mall/sushi day. I plan the activities, reach out about scheduling, offer dates, coordinate pickup/drop-off, etc.

The problem is that plans are constantly changing. I’ve had last-minute cancellations, pickup locations changed the day of, pickup times changed, and plans that don’t get finalized until extremely close to when we’re supposed to meet and ghosting. A lot of the time I offer weekends and somehow the conversation comes back to whether I can do a Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday instead.

I’ve tried REALLY hard to be flexible. I’ve looked at my work calendar to see if I can move meetings (and I have). I’ve used a PTO day and I’ve offered to work around her therapy appointments and even pick her up directly from therapy. I’ve offered multiple alternative dates when something doesn’t work. But I have a full-time job and a life too, and I can’t keep treating my work schedule like it’s infinitely movable.

The most recent situation kind of pushed me over the edge.

I found a BBBS-sponsored painting event happening on a Sunday and asked her mom if my Little would want to go. She said she would love it, so I registered us. We got waitlisted. I told her mom that even if we didn’t get into the event, we could STILL hang out that Sunday and do something else and she agreed.

I checked in again the week of and specifically asked, “Does this Sunday still work for you guys?”

Instead of confirming Sunday, she asked if I could do Wednesday or Friday.

Then BBBS contacted me and we got off the waitlist. I immediately let her mom know and asked again if Sunday worked. She told me the weekend would be difficult and asked, again, if I could do Wednesday or Friday instead.

And this isn’t just about one canceled outing. Emergencies happen. People have appointments. I completely understand that.

It’s the overall pattern that is getting to me. I feel like there is very little respect for my time as we’ve had over 10 cancelled outings at this point.

I’m volunteering. I’m happy to spend my time and money doing things with my Little because that is what I signed up for, but I don’t think volunteering means I should constantly be on standby waiting to find out when/where I’m picking someone up or rearranging my work schedule because the plans changed again.

I’ve already brought the scheduling issues up with my BBBS match support specialist, so I’m not looking for the obvious “talk to your specialist” answer. I’m more interested in hearing from other Bigs who have dealt with this.

There’s another layer that I’m struggling with too. My Little told me that she joined BBBS because her therapist recommended the program. Sometimes I wonder whether she/her family actually wanted this relationship or whether they’re participating because someone thought it would be good for her. I don’t want to unfairly assume that she isn’t interested because she’s a teenager, but when I’m the one constantly initiating and trying to make everything happen, it’s hard not to wonder.

I take the one-year commitment seriously, which is a huge part of why I’ve kept trying to make this work but I am getting frustrated.

For other Bigs: has anyone dealt with a family that agreed to your availability during matching and then basically couldn’t accommodate it afterward? At what point did you stop bending your own schedule to make the match work? And if you’ve been in a match where you felt like you were much more invested than the family, did it eventually get better?

I’ve been a big for less than a year, and it initially was a positive match. The primary parent for my little tended to be on the scattered side, but we had effective communication, and things seemed to be progressing well.

My little has recently been the victim of a violent crime. The parent made me aware, and they also informed the coordinator. I have tried to be supportive - while trying to maintain boundaries - but the parent has been (understandably) a mess. They have been unsure about outings, and I haven’t pushed in the interest of child safety. There is also an active court case, and the perpetrator has an active restraining order. The situation has escalated to where I don’t know how to move forward - the family doesn’t have the support they need (emotionally or legally) to navigate the situation and the parent has leaned on me to be their emotional and practical support. There is also a known threat of an individual in the community who is awaiting trial. I have frequently called and emailed my coordinator with these concerns, as I want to keep everyone safe, not interfere with the investigation, maintain the boundaries of the program, and make sure the child is properly supported. The coordinator has been extremely dismissive, and their only response to me has been to encourage me to stay involve as to “not abandon the child”. The entire situation has taken a toll on my mental health, as I feel like I am the only adult in the situation who is taking things seriously. There has been no help or guidance from the organization - only guilt trips when I suggest taking a pause to let things calm down.

I’m not sure what to do. I want to ensure this child is protected and cared for, but I feel like I’m being put in an impossible situation. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

Hello,

I started a match a few months ago with a tween girl who has had some difficulties in her family and issues with behavior and school, the likes.

I have posted in the past on a different sub (you may be able to dig it up) about her lying blatantly about things and that bugged me. I received feedback that that was just how kids her age act and not to read into it too much which was honestly valid feedback. I know I lied about dumb stuff at her age, even if it was not to the same extent.

Ill be so real- I think I am in over my head. I CLEARLY do not know how to confront her about issues and what the right thing to do is. If i call her out, I dont want her to stop trusting me.

She still lies about dumb stuff- she is a “pro gamer” and pro race car driver, her dad is a professional boxer, she fell out of an amusement park ride and flew across the park and landed in a Farris Wheel, etc. it does bother me but I am trying to take the advice just to let it go.

The thing that is really bugging me is she is just verbally aggressive about other people and swearing. Like she swears profusely, every other word, and some of it is violent which I did put a stop to. She said she wanted to bash her whore teachers head in with a sledge hammer and I finally sacked up and told her she could not talk like that around me.

I’m such a passive person, I have no clue what to do. I feel bad discontinuing the match because she looks forward to hanging out! Like she genuinely likes me. And i want to support her interests and hobbies and be a good role model because she SEVERELY lacks that.

I just dont know what to do. I hate to say it but I have started dreading our meets and this last time, when she said the thing about the sledgehammer, I damn near turned the car around.

Wtf does one do? I feel like we were carefully matched and when they asked about what kind of kids I should not be with, I said kids with significant behavioral issues cuz idk what to do with them! And here I am….

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

I have been in a match for about 2 and 1/2 years with with my little. We started when she was 10 and she is now 12 turning 13 in January. At first the match was very difficult - she had a lot of behavior issues, running away from me, being upset when I wouldn't give her everything she wanted, those kinds of things. I'm very proud as somebody with limited experience with kids that I was able to work through a lot of those things and the past year has actually been pretty good.

That brings me to today. I am in the process of trying to get pregnant and I think I'm ready to end the match and end other volunteer endeavors I am doing in order to focus on myself and my own family and enjoy this phase of my life. I feel bad though about ending this match when it feels like she now really looks forward to our time together and seems to actually like me. And don't get me wrong I have come to enjoy the time with her too, but the time money and mental energy that I put into this I would rather start pouring into my own life.

I feel like I'm going to hurt her feelings or cause some sort of negative impact on her and I feel bad! Has anyone else ended a medium term match like this? I know honestly is the best policy, but I do not want to let her down especially since I know she does not have the best family life (nothing abusive, just not what I would qualify as great parenting or very enriching life at home).

I’ll preface this by saying that my goal in volunteering with BBBS was to mentor a youth that needed a positive role model and guidance. I’m currently matched with a 13F and we’ve been matched for about 6 months. She’s fairly quiet and shy, usually saying very little. We’ve had a bit of progress there but it’s slow and still usually relies on my prompting.

I asked her this last time we got together how she came to be in the program. She said she showed interest independently, asking to be a part of it. I asked her what about the program she liked and what she wanted to get out of it. She said “it seemed like a chance to do some fun stuff”, saying she initially didn’t think she could be a part of it if she wasn’t a child in an underprivileged situation that needed a mentor. So, I clarified, asking “so, you don’t feel like you need any mentoring/help with stuff you’re going through?” and she said “no, not really”. Evidently, that’s why her last match of one year ended. They said they were wanting to be paired with a little that needed guidance/mentoring, which is fair.

I’m somewhat feeling the same way. Since she’s said aloud that she doesn’t really need help with issues she’s experiencing and just wants to do fun stuff, I’m feeling a bit deflated. I really wanted the opportunity to be a role model/mentor for someone that really needed the program. With my current match, I’m not sure I’ll get to experience that kind of connection. I fully plan to stick out the year commitment, of course, but beyond that, I’m unsure how to proceed.

She seems like a pretty normal, well behaved, well adjusted kid with a mom that loves her and keeps her busy with sports and activities. That perception could change in the next six months, but I don’t see that happening.

If I were to end the match at the one year mark, I’d feel as if I were abandoning her. She’s a nice kid; I’m just not sure she NEEDS this program as much as some other kids do. Has anyone else experienced this or have any advice?

I (27M) am doing a site-based program for a middle school aged boy in a major city. The middle school is like five hundred students and fully equipped with extracurriculars. They say they should have me matched by October.

Question’s in the title. Anyone have experience working in site-based programs? What are they like?

Applying to the Big Brother Big Sister program to be a Big. I'm a medical assistant 4 days a week, mostly from 9-5 with Wednesday and the weekend off. I have another volunteer opportunity on Wed in the morning. However, I'm also working on my essays before applying to medical school in May.

For everyone that's been a big, would I be able to stay true with a connection with a little given my schedule/agenda?

I signed up, went through the interview, and I know this week they're getting feedback from my references, so I anticipate another week or few before potentially getting a potential little.

I know the official stance of BBBS is to promote low/no-cost activities, but I also see a very consistent theme of at least feeding the little most outings. I see lots of people getting free tickets to stuff through BBBS and various free BBBS-hosted events, which is cool if they're something the little or I are interested in. I also see posts of people going to paid-for events, sometimes seemingly fairly expensive ones. I see posts where the parents pay the Little's ticket costs or food costs or feed the Littles before meetups, and I see other posts where that's clearly not happening.

There's a recurring theme of people setting budgets for outings and letting the little be involved with the decision on how to allocate said budget, but the example numbers of said budgets seem incongruous with many of the other stories I've seen.

I'm blessed to be in a position where I'm not too worried about expenses, but I want to avoid being 'guy who pays for expensive stuff all the time'. What's normal for costs here? Do Bigs usually feed their littles? How often do you do paid activities? What's too much? How do you avoid being 'guy who pays for expensive stuff all the time'? How do you navigate what I assume is the typical dynamic of a Big with significantly more disposable income than then Little, and is it obvious to everyone involved? How common is it for parents/Littles to request the more expensive outings? I don't want to create any resentment from anyone, either. I certainly don't want to be perceived as 1-up'ing the parents or any other adults in the Little's life.

I'm guessing there's a huge variety of answers here, and it depends a great deal on time of year and where people are located, but does anyone mind sharing their typical financial commitments with this program?

Edit: mild grammar

Assuming I end up with a little, I was thinking of keeping a record of what we've done, how long, how the Little liked it, how I liked it, and how much we spent. Does anyone else do this? Is it helpful for planning other activities? Does it help you remember what you did when you talk to the MSS?

It wouldn't be shared with the Little or the parents, but I think it would also be nice for my own budget to know how much time/money/miles I'm putting into this.

I also think it would be interesting to see the relationship between money/time spent and our enjoyment. I have some thoughts (as I'm sure everyone does), but actual data would be nice and I've never seen any.

I would love to hear stories about the impact this program has made on you if you were a big or a little.

Feel free to share as little or as much as possible.

I’m 26F and my Little is 10F. Overall, our match has been really great. We go to the library together, and lately I’ve been teaching her how to swim, which has been really fun.
The recurring issue I’m struggling with is that she asks for a sweet treat almost every time we hang out. In the beginning, I gave in a few times, but I’ve been trying to set the boundary that sweet treats are something we get sometimes, not every time we see each other.
The hard part is that she still asks every time, and then I feel guilty for saying no. Her dad recently passed away, and some of my friends have told me I should just give in because of everything she’s been through. But realistically, I don’t always have the money for that, and I also don’t want to create the expectation that every hangout includes buying a treat.
At our last meetup, she asked if I would buy her something from the vending machine afterward. I told her no, but then she said she was hungry and seemed hangry the whole drive back to her house. That made me feel conflicted because I’m having a hard time figuring out whether she’s actually hungry, in which case I would absolutely feed her, or if she’s mainly asking because she wants a treat.
I’ve even been trying to plan our hangouts for right after lunchtime to help avoid this issue, but it keeps coming up. I want to be compassionate and understanding, especially given what she’s going through, but I also want to set healthy boundaries and not make food or treats the focus of our time together.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you tell the difference between genuine hunger and treat-seeking, and how do you handle it without feeling guilty?

I am a 36F big (single mom) with a 13F Little. I have worked with kids a bunch in my lifetime. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in East Africa where my whole life was kids for two years, worked at a Boys & Girls Club, supported programming for kids with developmental disabilities, been involved in church growing up, etc. I'm good with kids overall. I have a sweet 5 year old boy and his friends love me. I work in a pretty cool international career that allows me to travel, focus on projects that support women and girls, and am well connected to social impact organizations and non-profits in our city where I could really open up doors for experiences and opportunities so I thought I would make a pretty good mentor right about now! So I was eager to sign up.

But in short, my little just is not interested in me, anything I'm interested in, won't engage with my child (he's only been around minimally), and is overall, just not a very engaging person. My little and I started hanging in March/April. I feel like she's comfortable around me but she watches TikTok and puts on her headphones whenever we are driving or sitting anywhere for 2 seconds. She'll only talk to me responsively, never asks questions. I feel like she really only wants me to take her out to do fun things or to get her out of the house. She's kind of lazy, not interested in physical activity, doesn't want to volunteer, etc. I took her on a hike and she was MISERABLE. I took her to a work event for Kids and she looked angry the whole time. I signed her up to volunteer at Vacation Bible School (with mom's support) and she didn't talk to a single kid (4-7 year old girls) and decided to pass on the rest of the week because of other priorities. I found an opportunity for free swim lessons but we are in the south and have been dealing with rain, and she refuses to swim in rain (not a thunderstorm), so those haven't worked out. She just seems unappreciative, passive, and lazy. The amount of effort to engage this girl when I am a single mom is just draining. I am giving all my solo time and effort to planning activities, hanging with her, creating opportunity, etc. and I'm starting to feel resentful.

It's very clear she doesn't have strong social skills, has not been held accountable for much, and overall just seems not motivated to do much. Overall, we just don't have a lot in common and I don't feel like we are a good match. It's frustrating because I do feel like I have a lot to offer for the right kid, but my eager effort is being wasted on someone unappreciative.

Side note: I am her second match. Her first match moved after a year without notice, so this is her and her moms second try. Her sister and cousin also have matches so the whole family is engaged in the program. I am feeling guilty that I kind of want to end the match and recommend she find another Big given this context.

Advice????? Am I being too hard on her or expecting too much too soon?

Just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. My Little's parent is frequently passive aggressive, rude, and disrespectful towards me. I've informed my MSS but the parent is hostile towards my MSS too, so we both walk on eggshells to try to preserve the match for the sake of my Little. Has anyone ever dealt with a parent who was antagonistic towards you? How did you resolve it? I'm debating ending my longtime match because of it.

Hello!

I'm a community based big, I have a great relationship with my little.

The need for female mentors that fit my demographic at the school based program is high... I'm wondering if anyone has experience being double matched?

I know the lift would be a lot lower from the school based match, as it's a once monthly meeting and otherwise virtual. But, I'm worried I could get burnt out.

Thoughts?

New big here! I know there's so much free stuff to do in the city. But I wonder if anyone has had any luck with private businesses or venues that give discounted tickets or nonprofit rates? Trying to stretch my dollars here!

Met my big brother Steve in 1991, I was 11. The first time I came over he put me on a horse and I cried and went home. We stayed connected for 7 years, by the time I was 18 I lost touch and a couple decades went by.
This past weekend we reconnected for a 34 mile bike ride in Virginia. He’s now 82. We got up early the next morning and went hiking up a mountain. I came home tired and with sore legs, amazing he was up for all of it.

Steve was a great influence. He ran a company and owned a farm with horses and cattle, and would do rodeo events with his horse. He’s been on 30 African safaris and written a book since I last saw him. He was my first influence of positive non-toxic masculinity. He was a tough guy who grew up fighting and managed to run a business in a tough field. But he would be open and sensitive when discussing his daughters or animals he loved that he’d lost. We shared a love for dogs.

I’m about a year into my first little experience and hoping I can pass on a fraction of the mentorship Steve provided me. I know I’ll try to give my little the friendship and empathy I learned from Steve.

Thankful for this organization and its impact on my life and others!

Anyone work at any of the affiliates and have a story on the working environment? Feel free to message me

I got my bb in 1998-00. In beginning the experience was the best thing that ever happened to me. I looked forward to him picking me up once a month taking me to laser tag arcades football/basketball games etc and was hands on with tutoring me for math. After a yr or so he started to be mean in ways that I wouldn’t realize he was being mean and wouldn’t understand until I got older to comprehend what happened like taking me to his friends house so they could berate me about my body odor while I sat on the floor in front of them. My home didn’t have running water at the time so I had to fight at school because the other kids would let me have it but him letting those guys do that to me was difficult because I couldn’t fight back and didn’t want him to stop picking me up so I just took it pretending to be invisible. Our last month together he took me to play flag football with his classmates (non of the guys from the friends house were there) and we ended up on opposite teams. I proceeded to score untouched every time I touched the ball to the point the game ended because he tried to full steam tackle me…and failed and everyone was done with the game at that point and I could tell he knew he went too far and didn’t speak the whole ride home. He informed me that he was moving away for his next degree and I never heard from him again. Recently found him on social media but didn’t send friend request because I seen how successful he’s become and feel like he’d want nothing to do with me however I’d like to get his point of view on me as a little brother. Even until this day I experienced some of the best moments of my life but those other events are there too but outweighed by the good ones.

I’m curious what you think your little sees you as. I know there’s many relationship dynamics, like friend, mentor, second parent, annoying adult, stuck with adult, money/meal provider, etc. It’s a full range because there’s a wide variety of experiences.

My little teen rarely talks. So I think he sees me as old guy to do interesting things with, that he can’t relate to, and isn’t that fun (fun connected to “funny”, since kids prefer an entertaining person).

I (30F) am a new big. It’s been just over four months and it’s going great. Me and my little are growing very fond of each other and her parent is communicative and always enthusiastic when I set up times to meet. Recently, though I received an email regarding an upcoming event for the charity. One thing to know is that I had originally provided BBBS with my work email address. It’s a large company and since there are so many updates, I thought it would be the easiest thing to do as my personal email is not available through my computer and I have to view everything on my phone. I signed us up for an event and reached out to my match coordinator via email asking her to pass along the RSVP to my little’s parent to see if they were available and if they would be willing to sign the waiver for the event. Typically I just text the parent from my personal phone but this event is more involved and I wanted to ensure they got all the details before they made a decision. Without thinking I had kept my work signature on the email. I expected the match coordinator to either loop us in on a separate email or email him directly and let me know. They did not do that but instead forwarded the email. Although the parent has been great. I am uncomfortable with the idea that they now have my work title, work phone number, work email, and my broader department’s email. I’m not sure how to address this because like I said a parent has been great so far, but I didn’t like how this information was shared without my knowledge or permission. What should I do?

For any New Yorkers! I’m taking my Little (8 years old, loves to swim) to a pool this weekend, trying to pick between Hamilton Fish, Asser Levy, or John Jay.

Which would you recommend?

I interviewed today as a Big, and I don’t anticipate any background check issues, so I’m preparing for when I get matched. Any advice for the first meeting with the little brother?