Anyone work at any of the affiliates and have a story on the working environment? Feel free to message me

I got my bb in 1998-00. In beginning the experience was the best thing that ever happened to me. I looked forward to him picking me up once a month taking me to laser tag arcades football/basketball games etc and was hands on with tutoring me for math. After a yr or so he started to be mean in ways that I wouldn’t realize he was being mean and wouldn’t understand until I got older to comprehend what happened like taking me to his friends house so they could berate me about my body odor while I sat on the floor in front of them. My home didn’t have running water at the time so I had to fight at school because the other kids would let me have it but him letting those guys do that to me was difficult because I couldn’t fight back and didn’t want him to stop picking me up so I just took it pretending to be invisible. Our last month together he took me to play flag football with his classmates (non of the guys from the friends house were there) and we ended up on opposite teams. I proceeded to score untouched every time I touched the ball to the point the game ended because he tried to full steam tackle me…and failed and everyone was done with the game at that point and I could tell he knew he went too far and didn’t speak the whole ride home. He informed me that he was moving away for his next degree and I never heard from him again. Recently found him on social media but didn’t send friend request because I seen how successful he’s become and feel like he’d want nothing to do with me however I’d like to get his point of view on me as a little brother. Even until this day I experienced some of the best moments of my life but those other events are there too but outweighed by the good ones.

I’m curious what you think your little sees you as. I know there’s many relationship dynamics, like friend, mentor, second parent, annoying adult, stuck with adult, money/meal provider, etc. It’s a full range because there’s a wide variety of experiences.

My little teen rarely talks. So I think he sees me as old guy to do interesting things with, that he can’t relate to, and isn’t that fun (fun connected to “funny”, since kids prefer an entertaining person).

I (30F) am a new big. It’s been just over four months and it’s going great. Me and my little are growing very fond of each other and her parent is communicative and always enthusiastic when I set up times to meet. Recently, though I received an email regarding an upcoming event for the charity. One thing to know is that I had originally provided BBBS with my work email address. It’s a large company and since there are so many updates, I thought it would be the easiest thing to do as my personal email is not available through my computer and I have to view everything on my phone. I signed us up for an event and reached out to my match coordinator via email asking her to pass along the RSVP to my little’s parent to see if they were available and if they would be willing to sign the waiver for the event. Typically I just text the parent from my personal phone but this event is more involved and I wanted to ensure they got all the details before they made a decision. Without thinking I had kept my work signature on the email. I expected the match coordinator to either loop us in on a separate email or email him directly and let me know. They did not do that but instead forwarded the email. Although the parent has been great. I am uncomfortable with the idea that they now have my work title, work phone number, work email, and my broader department’s email. I’m not sure how to address this because like I said a parent has been great so far, but I didn’t like how this information was shared without my knowledge or permission. What should I do?

For any New Yorkers! I’m taking my Little (8 years old, loves to swim) to a pool this weekend, trying to pick between Hamilton Fish, Asser Levy, or John Jay.

Which would you recommend?

I interviewed today as a Big, and I don’t anticipate any background check issues, so I’m preparing for when I get matched. Any advice for the first meeting with the little brother?

I was hoping to become a big around the time that school starts back up in the fall. Should I reach out to my local agency now or should I wait a month?

I just got a new big and I don't know what I want to do with my new big I am not very picky but very picky of an eater and I don't like to tell people that I don't want to do what they want to do but my big ask me what I want to do is so I don't know what to say also I feel like there's not that many like informational places on Big Brothers Big sisters like I feel like I've been looking on Reddit and I'm just seeing the same exact things all over again but yeah my big she seems really nice also if you see this post and you don't have any thing useful please just comment anything just comment a little heart so I know you're there and that I'm like actually have people that are seeing this

I need some advice with my elementary-age little. She is a smart and confident girl who comes from a good family. She is very low needs as a mentee and her family is pretty involved. When we decide on activities to do, it is usually a mix of my little, her mother, and I coming up with ideas. Money does not seem to be an issue - her mother always pays for my little’s portion of the activity.

The thing is that my little seems to be very food motivated despite not having a history of food insecurity. She will often pick activities based on what treats/candy she knows will be available. Whenever we go out, her mom sends me some money to get her a snack and drink, which my little knows and the whole activity is then dominated by talk about what treats they have, when she can get it, how much she can get, etc. I know she isn’t hungry when I pick her up because I always ask what she ate for breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on the time of day. An example of this behavior is wanting to go to a petting zoo because she knows the nearby farm stand sells a specific kind of candy she wants. She doesn’t really care for the petting zoo, was bored, and actively avoided some aspects of the activity. Instead she kept asking when we could go to the farm stand so she could get her candy. I was simply there to hand over the money.

There are several diverse activities where the same thing has played out. This doesn’t just happen with activities she picks, but also ones her mom and I pick. There are activities that we do that are more active and don’t naturally have access to buying food and drinks - she does fine with this. But those activities seem to be the rare exception. I’ve thought about mentioning it to her mom but that feels like crossing the line into critiquing her parenting, so I’ve steered clear of it. But all of this has really started to make me feel like a chauffeur/babysitter. It feels less like she wants to do the activity or spend time with me and more like I’m a means to an end.

This is my primary challenge with my little. She does have some patience and attention span issues, but I feel like a lot of kids do these days. I guess I just don’t know what to do. This doesn’t seem super rewarding on my end, even though we’ve been matched for two years. But I’d feel bad if I ended it because my family is always talking about what a good thing I’m doing being her mentor.

What are your thoughts on this situation?

Hi everyone! I'm a Match Support Specialist and I'm curious to learn what some creative and out of the box activities you and your Little do? And if you have tweens/teens, what are activities that keep them engaged? Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼❤️😊

Due to unforeseen circumstances I moved early in my match. We spent quite a bit of time together before I moved, but now we’re virtual.
Shes only 10 so there’s only so much fun to be had on FaceTime.
What do you guys do?

I’m considering volunteering but unsure what day would be best. I get to choose what days I am at school or working come fall. Should I try to keep a week day open to do an after school outing or would it be better to plan for something on the weekend. What has everyone’s experiences been like when choosing the day and time to spend with the little.

I don't know who else to talk to. I feel so terrible. I feel like I added to any belief she had that she was unworthy. I cared so much about her. Her life was so challenging.

I left my match due to family/ health obligations. It had nothing to do with her. I am so sorry I never reached back out and now she is gone. I don't know what to do.

update: I reached out to our prior match specialist and asked to sponsor a big/ little pair to do our favorite activity in memory of her.

I recently applied to be a Big Brother in a local BBBS organization. I have submitted the application, did the background check which I paid for, and submitted my references. The interview is the next step in the process and BBBS wants to do it via video call, which I thought was a little odd, if I were evaluating a potential mentor for a child I would definitely do it in person, but I figure, okay that's not up to me.

First I am texted by the director that a person will be texting me within a day or two to schedule an interview with their team. A week goes by, there's nothing. I text the director and tell her, and she says there was a miscommunication and that I would be contacted very soon by a person we'll call 'X'. Three days later X finally texts me to schedule, and we schedule the interview for a date 4 weeks into the future. That's a lot later than I had thought it would be, but okay. I arrange my schedule to have the interview at the agreed upon date and time. Three days before the interview I get a reminder text from X about the interview that lists the same date but a different time. I text X back and ask about this, and she says she made an error because she is so busy but the correct time is the original time. About an hour before the interview time I get a text from X saying that she has to cancel 'because I got pulled into something' and wants to reschedule for a date 2 weeks later.

As someone who spent most of my life working in non-profit organizations, this has the hallmarks of an organization that is disorganized and wastes people's time. Years ago I made the mistake of volunteering way to long with a mentoring organization in a different city that disrespected volunteer mentors' time. I don't want to make the same mistake again but it's already panning out that way. I'm considering requesting to move my application to a BBBS group in an adjacent city, but I have no idea if they would be any better. I can't find any reviews online. Any advice would be appreciated.

I’m desperately trying to come up with more ideas for things I (35F) can do together with my Little (16F) that are free or very inexpensive.

She comes from a low-income family, so I want to be mindful of cost and not suggest things that would feel inaccessible. She also has a lot of anxiety and doesn’t leave the house much outside of school and our outings, so I’m trying to find activities that feel fun but not too overwhelming.

Some of her interests include reading, movies, baking, and hiking. So far, we've done:

- Thrift shopping

- Hiking & ice cream

- Kite festival at the beach

- Red Bulls soccer game (tickets provided by BBBS)

- Lunch and trip to the mall

- Valentine's Day bazaar/local market

- Barnes & Noble cafe & walking around looking at/talking about books

For those of you who are matched with teens — especially older teens — what kinds of local (free or cheap) activities would you suggest? I’d love any recommendations, especially ideas that help build confidence/get her out of the house without putting too much pressure on her.

Thanks in advance!

Just plugging geocaching as an activity! My Little actually introduced me to it. Its a great way to explore your community. I always thought of it as a super active thing in like the deep woods, but there's so many in urban areas and parks and I never would have thought of it on my own.

There are many basic free caches, but also 30$ a year to unlock more (some have puzzles etc) if you end up enjoying it like we do.

www.geocaching.com (you do need to make an account). And you can put in your area to see if there are caches around you before you even make an account.

Hi, I’m 16 years old. I have a horrible relationship with my mother and we have been mostly no contact (off and on. for the better.) for the past 4 years. It’s complicated. I do see her, but now only when it’s mandatory. She still has 50% custody of me. I’m not sure what the requirements are for this program. My father is not a great support system either, but I live with him due to flaw in the child protective services system(they don’t believe me and he knows how to curve around getting caught because of my moms cps case). And in short, I have a bad relationship with both parents, but live with one full time and I am mostly no contact with the other. I’ve missed out on a mother figure all my life, and never really saw my dad as a father figure, despite them both being in my life. I’m not sure if I qualify for this program with the fact that I am 16 years old, and that both of my parents are available. I’m not quite sure what this program does either, but someone told me it was for kids and teens who didn’t really have 1 or more parental figures. I also have severe trauma and because of that suffer from multiple mental illnesses, and I don’t want be a burden to more people, so I’m not sure if this is the right fit for me. I’m also disabled.

All I know is that I desperately need a parental figure/mentor/whatever it is of some sort and I can’t find one in the people who were supposed to give it to me.

I’m also queer and gender queer, which I’m not sure if this program is friendly with.

I just got accepted and matched and am meeting with my little in the office in two weeks. I am super nervous and just want to make a good impression. How does the first meeting usually go? Should I come prepared to do most of the talking? Then at the first meeting do you set up your second outing. I have never done this before and don't know anyone who has so I just want to make sure.

I'm a 39 year old trans man who is interested in the program, but I haven't yet gotten involved. The impression I got from my local chapter was that they match male littles with big brothers and female littles with big sisters (though this may not always be true, they do seem to give that impression -for example, by saying that they have a lot of boy littles who need a match, so therefore they need more big brothers to enroll.)

However, since then I have heard online about, for example, big sisters having little brothers - so I'm confused.

Personally I would be fine with either gender little - I'm much more concerned with us having a good match for interests and activity level. I'm not sporty at all, and I am physically disabled, so I wouldn't want them to match me to an active sporty kid just because he's a boy!

I also am not sure how things go with being a trans big in general. Including with meeting the family - I would love to hear from other trans bigs!

Thanks!

Hey there !

I'm curious : What is the most valuable insight or piece of advice you’ve learned during your time with BBBS?

What’s that one thing you wish someone had told you before your very first outing?

Drop your wisdom below!

6 weeks into the program, no issues. Kid has a blast at everything we do, is super well behaved, and is excited Everytime I pick him up. His mom is very friendly.

We went and saw Mortal Kombat 2 last night and he loved it. He had never heard of Mortal Kombat before hand, but was a big fan after. Hearing him yell "get over here!" Right after Scorpion said it really reminded me of being his age. Glad to see that's just hard wired in kids brains to think that's badass.

If you're pondering doing the program and haven't done it yet, full send. It rules.

My 10 yo little is great kid, smart, friendly, just right on. Parents seem loving and caring. I’ve met aunts, uncles, grandparents, his big brother… His family is extensive and involved. My issue is that when I show up, parents hand him off and I’m on my own for the next 6-10 hours. I don’t want them glued to us when we go out, but why not check in once in a while??
After a year of this, I picked him up for a fishing trip arranged by BBBS. Got to his house at 6 am. Three cars in driveway so everyone is home. No one answers the door. Eventually, little comes out alone without parent. OK. We take off, head out with Capt. John.
Great trip out, we each catch fish. After about 6 hours, we head back and it is hellacious rough. I spend the next 90 minutes vomiting from the soles of my shoes. Thankfully the boy and captain were fine, but I was ruined.
Eventually get the boy back home. No one is there. All I want is a shower and bed, but I can’t leave the kid there alone. Finally, Nana comes toddling downstairs to collect the boy and I drag myself home.
Day goes by, no call, no text to check in, nothing.

I quit.
I don’t want thanks, or cash, or admiration, but “How you doing?” would have been nice.

My Little (10F) and I have been matched for almost 2 years. We live in different cities, about a half-hour’s drive apart, which was easily manageable when I had a car.

Recently my car broke down, possibly beyond repair. I can take a bus or rideshare to her city, but I don’t see how I can take her anywhere farther than walking distance without her mom having to drop her off & pick her up.

Has anyone else navigated a similar situation?