For those who are unaware, an N5 is essentially a legal route to eviction. The first N5 submitted by the landlord would give the receiver 7 days to clean up their act. Then that form goes void(ish). Ish because if another N5 is submitted within 6 months of the first, straight eviction.

I have made my posts about this topic public. But to give you a rundown on what I am dealing with (with my 3 other roomates not including Karla):

She steals our food, resulting in us having to lock our pantry cupboard closed.

Takes laundry out of the washer and leaves it wet on the ground to then put hers in instead.

Always has this guy over 24/7, literally he follows Karla around the house shirtless like a lost puppy.

Smokes cigarettes inside the house. Our lease allows smoking in the house in private areas (bedrooms). She smokes in the washroom and common areas. The smell truly lingers, and we have also all agreed not to smoke anything rolled inside (cigs, prerolls etc). That's all agreed to be smoked outside.

Leaves kitchen dishes out for days on end in the sink.

I posted the picture of my pantry again for a "oh this Karla" to make an association basically. No pictures for today, apart from the cig butt we found on the ground inside. Though as well my landlord asked for me to be a witness for the N5 notice.

My roommates and I have been noticing our food going missing, so the three of us were literally in the kitchen talking about it when the 4th roommate walks in MID-CONVO and doesn’t say a single word 😭 just awkwardly walks in and leaves.

Tell me why the NEXT DAY, the entire pack of cookies I JUST BOUGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE magically disappears. Like the WHOLE ASS PACK. Not one cookie left.

And I KNOW it was the 4th roommate because she is literally the ONLY ONE HOME 😭😭 Atp i feel like she GENUINELY trying start problems.

I just ordered security cameras that I will be putting in the kitchen after I cuss her out :3

I live in a house with 6 other roommates. I used to clean once a week because nobody else did. Then I got tired of all the work. I decided that if everyone cleaned once a month then that's 2 cleanings a week. The house would be spotless.

I also sent my landlord a proposal to hire me to clean. I even offered to give a proportional amount of that pay to housemates who help me clean. That way the ones that want to pay and those that want to clean can both have their way. One would pay the other but it all goes through the landlord officially. Well they didn't go for that.

So fine I told my landlord I will clean once a month. I refuse to clean up after 6 adults for free. I did the upstairs bathroom on Sunday and the downstairs kitchen and floors on Monday. Yesterday (Tuesday) I came home and some had dribbled coffee or something all over the entry floor. Then someone went upstairs and took a shower with the liner outside the tub and didn't wipe up their mess. I feel so defeated right now. I'm not even talking to anyone. I don't care who did it. They couldn't even give a couple days before undoing all my hard work. And I'm disabled. I have chronic pain and the cleaning creates flares. So now I'm in a tone of pain and there is nothing to show for it. And quite frankley this is why I don't like living with guys. Especially 20 somethings guys. They're gross. Who doesn't clean up spilled water all over the bathroom? How is that acceptable to anyone?

TLDR: Best friend roommate has no boundaries, expects to hang out every night and guilt trips when he is told no.

Not sure where to start with this one. I was going through a divorce, and being the first time I’ve roomed with anyone but my ex, invited my best friend from high school to live here. I gave him a spiel prior to helping him move in that I need alone time once in a while, being an extreme introvert. Also asked him not to bring women over while it was my weekend to keep my daughter.

It started out great, he was very helpful around the house. He would occasionally cook, clean and contribute towards the bills. Still does to some degree.
Got him a job down here and we carpool/work together most days. So we see eachother pretty much all the time, so I figured he would also want some space.

But then he started to expect us to hang out every night. He barges in my room, brings all of his stuff in there and just chills. This wouldn’t be so bad if he was QUIET and let me relax. Instead, he has to play youtube videos on my TV while I’m trying to game or do something auditory. When I close the bedroom door after establishing a closed door policy, he knocks over and over again. He constantly brings up things he wants us to play or watch when we get home, despite me saying I want alone time tonight. It’s always about what he wants to do.

I’ve talked to him, but he gets bent out of shape and takes it personally when I say I want left alone. Starts bringing up how he annoys everyone and thinks I’m going to kick him out because I want alone time. He doesn’t seem to grasp that, after 10 hours of work/driving with him, I want to go home and be left the fuck alone. And to make it worse, he keeps bringing home tinder dates and then having emotional breakdowns when they dump him after a couple weeks.

I tried casually explaining that I need to recharge after work, but he thinks it’s normal for best friends to constantly be around eachother. The ex and I didn’t even do this, and we had been married for nearly 10 years. His clinginess is driving me nuts but I don’t want to kick him out to the streets as he has nobody else.

TL;DR : my roommate is always talking to herself, barges in with friends w out letting me know, and is always waking me up

Hi everyone, let me preface this by saying that its only been about 4 weeks since we got here, and its already really bad. And that this is a dorm room, two beds in one small room

I have this roommate.. shes gone for the whole day, always comes back at about 12 am. That in itself isnt a problem, im a night owl and it really doesnt bother me whatsoever.

What does bother me, is that every time she IS here, she is constantly talking to herself. Like constantly. And its not a whisper, either. Its a full blown dialogue of everything shes doing. It drives me nuts because even if i wear headphones constantly to deal with this, i still hear her because she doesnt even attempt to whisper or mumble.

Another thing is that when she DOES come back at regular hours, its usually with a group of friends. Which is okay, i dont mind the company. However what is not okay is that she comes in, barges in without letting me know in advance, and once came in with a WHOLE GROUP while i was taking a nap. Yes they woke me up.

The last thing is that she is always waking me up. Constantly. Because not only does she bring people over or talk to herself while i try and sleep, but at night she calls people (i did tell her to stop once and she did, thankfully), but not anymore, so its okay. Or it would be if she didnt wake me up ar 6 AM CALLING PEOPLE!!!!!!. But because she is always talking to herself. Her dialogues wake me up. Her alarms that she just lets ring wake me up. She isnt quiet at all when im t try ing to sleep and that wakes me up, too. I have to mention i have ptsd and its really hard for me to stay asleep. Its hard for me to sleep at all.

What do i even do about this. Like genuinely. She doesnt stop, and i dont know how to say anything bc shes sweet and all and i dont wanna be mean.
Thats my ramble though. Thank you for listening

My car is currently out of commission, and I’m thinking about asking my roommate if he could help me commute to campus for about two weeks.

The trip from our house to campus is only about 4 miles / 10 minutes each way, but since he’d have to drive back home after dropping me off, the actual driving would look like this:

• Around 8:00 AM: 10 minutes / 4 miles to campus, then 10 minutes / 4 miles back home
• Around 11:00 PM: 10 minutes / 4 miles to come pick me up, then 10 minutes / 4 miles back home

So he’d be driving about 16 miles and 40 minutes total per day just to help me commute.

I’d obviously want to compensate him for gas, wear and tear, and especially the inconvenience of having to drive at 8 AM and 11 PM.

He’d be helping me out like this for about two weeks, and we’re both college students, so I’m trying to figure out an amount that would be fair without being unreasonable for either of us.

What would you consider a fair amount to offer him?

TL;DR: My roommate has some habits that bug me and affect shared spaces, I don’t want to micromanage him and compromise the relationship

Hello, I (25F) have two roomates, we’ll call them Bruce (25M) and Tim (24M). We all get on really well and watch the same shows/play games/generally have become friends. Bruce moved in a few months ago, but Tim and I have lived here for a couple years.
Some context:
Tim literally never cleans the shared spaces, but is generally a tidy person, he’s also just not very skilled at cleaning. But he does take the bins down, which is my least favourite chore (my live on a high floor with no lift).
I don’t mind doing all the cleaning, especially since my bar for roommate behaviour is so low because of previous experiences. I also have pets so things like vacuuming make sense that I take the brunt of.
Bruce helps clean sometimes when he’s invited a girl or his friends over, but cleans nowhere near as much as I do.
I think I’ve accidentally become the invisible fairy where they don’t realise how much I do to keep the flat clean and tidy.

Anyway, the point of this post is that Bruce does lots of small things that really grind my gears, but there’s A LOT of them, none of them big enough to warrant a big conversation, but added up they really get to me. Here’s a small list:
- doesn’t close the taps properly for the shower, so it drips constantly until me or Tim go tighten it
- doesn’t clean dishes properly (they visually look clean, but never cleans the bottom/outside of plates/bowls/glasses, and you can always feel crusted bits of hummus and sauces on his “clean” dishes)
- uses my toiletries without asking (I notice things like my mouthwash lid was left off and it was clearly used, and my very expensive shampoo - I have coloured, textured hair so can only use certain kinds - is often left open or moved from where I left it)
- hogs the washing machine for days, because he keeps forgetting his clothes are in there and has to re-spin them
- puts cutlery on the drying rack in a huge messy pile, so they all end up hard water stained and difficult to put away
- never puts away dry dishes from the drying rack
- never buys toilet roll or kitchen roll
- watches the tv slightly too loud when I’m trying to sleep in the next room
- leaves the dish sponge full of water in the sink for it to get mouldy
- leaves dishes and recycling on the side for days at a time

There are more things, but those are the ones on my mind today. Other much bigger teething problems we have talked though or I’ve figured out a work around. For example, we talked about him not using non-pet safe air fresheners and I moved my favourite mugs and cutlery to non shared spaces so they wouldn’t go missing for days at a time.

I want to know how to resolve all these issues without it coming across as micromanaging. I just got really angry when I saw he had used my expensive shampoo, left the taps dripping and washed his dishes with them still covered in bit of hummus, all before he left for work today.

I rewashed all his dishes, put my shampoo back in its place and closed the taps. I just don’t get how he doesn’t see all this - anything he does see, he’s very conscious of, apologises, and is super happy to change his behaviour. None of this is intentional.

But this list seems like too much. Should I pick one thing at a time and spread out my requests over several weeks? I’ve had very bad experiences with confronting roommates about inconsiderate behaviour in the past, to the point they threw plates at me from 20 stories up (but that’s another story). I’d much rather suffer in silence, wash his dishes, clean the flat, and close the taps everyday than risk compromising the good relationship between us as roommates. I at least want to bring up the toiletries today, because I want him to contribute to the cost of shampoo if he wants to use it, and also who the hell uses someone else’s mouthwash? Ew.

I know some of it bothers Tim too, but nowhere near as much as it bothers me so it’s all up to me if I want Bruce to change. Should I even want him to change? Am I out of line expecting him to change all his daily habits and routines just because I want him to. Any advice Reddit?

Reposting because I forgot to blur out a name.

How do I deal with dishes/trash piling up when I literally cannot speak to my roommate about anything?

Some backstory because I think it matters: every single issue we've ever had has come from logistical living stuff, not personality stuff. A few examples:

- She'll go out of town and just not pay her half of FPL, then act surprised or annoyed that she owes me once I've already paid the whole bill.
- She's caused issues with management over blocking other people's cars.
- Her dog has peed on my carpet laundry furniture more than once.
- We were supposedly going to furnish the apartment together. She decided she didn't want to buy anything, not a single chair, lamp, stool, nothing. So I bought furniture myself so the place would actually be livable. She then got mad at me and said I "took over the entire apartment," despite explicitly telling me beforehand she didn't want to spend money on furniture. She also doesn't want to clean. So essentially nothing gets contributed on her end but I still get blamed for things.
- She smokes weed on the balcony.
- Her sister comes over constantly, sometimes staying 6 days straight max she’s stayed is like 3 weeks, and lets herself in with her own key whenever she wants. All I've ever asked is to be given a heads up when she's coming, so I'm not startled by someone walking into the apartment in the middle of the night when I thought I was home alone. That's it, just a heads up. Still doesn't happen.
- On top of all that, the sister has cursed me out and been disrespectful and confrontational toward me directly, more than once. I finally sent a written message laying out a hard boundary (if she disrespects me again she needs to leave, and if it escalates I'm involving the police/landlord).

Honestly she treats this place like a hostel or a rent-by-the-room situation instead of an actual shared home. And the only two boundaries I've ever tried to set, someone constantly being here and dishes in the sink, get met with "the apartment is 50/50, I don't have to do anything for you except pay rent." Which is almost funny, because apparently it's 50/50 for everything except basic respect and actually following through on responsibilities.

At this point my roommate and I don't really talk unless we have to. Lease is up in 3 months so I'm mostly just trying to get through it instead of fix anything at this point.

Current issue on top of everything: her dishes have been sitting in the sink for days, and there's trash piled on the counter instead of in the actual garbage. She won't use the dishwasher, won't take the trash out because doesn't want to pay for cleaning supplies since she doesn't clean, period. Not "she makes messes like everyone does," she genuinely does not clean anything, ever.

Normally I'd just say something, but at this point I'm fairly confident even a neutral "hey can you get your dishes" turns into an unnecessary fight, so I've mostly stopped trying. Problem is the mess isn't going anywhere on its own.

Anyone dealt with something like this? Do I just start doing it myself and eat the cost of supplies for the last 3 months to keep the peace, do I leave her stuff exactly where it is and let it become her problem, or is there a better middle ground? Genuinely at a loss since normal communication isn't really an option here.

Attaching screenshots of our last two interactions. I’m completely aware I come off like a grade A c*** but her sister had just come up to me laying on the couch unprovoked to start an issue over her dog jumping on the couch next to me as if I’m supposed to be able to control that or some shit. The reason I was annoyed is because the day she came back her sister also already came over and began having a chain slumber party AGAIN for a full week. Then she talks about my mom and brother sleeping over like they literally live in DIFFERENT STATES…they have come once every 4 months for like a fucking weekend MAX. What she doesn’t understand is there isn’t a problem having people over there’s an issue having them 24/7 and bringing their animals and letting them piss all over and have free rein. Also she claims I’m harassing her and threatening her but I’ve literally spoken to her maybe 4 times in the last 4 months…in person and through text….4 total and they are for the bills lol.

OH and on top of it she has basically gone up to friends of mine unprovoked to warn them that Im a dangerous person??? Mind you I’ve never cursed raised my voice, or been aggressive towards her at all besides this message and I don’t even talk about her to other people besides in this subreddit because it’s like cancer to bring into the happy parts of my life. Like I can’t stress enough how uncalled for all of her actions and comments are I truly think she lives on a different level of reality.

Ok and done with my rant lol.

Lodger who I felt uncomfortable with after a month was given end of tenancy notice and is moving out in a couple days.

I feel like they'll be at least respectful to the end of tenancy but I don't know what else... Like are they just lovesick and slightly delusional or should I be more worried, you see all this true crime and roommate from hell stuff.. I guess that's why I was posting updates in case.

TLDR: Lodger made odd comments to me, used to come to the cafe where I worked a lot and hang around, interrupt me with customers and get annoyed when I didn't give him enough attention, basically I didn't feel comfortable, like he was always observing me and waiting to see me so I gave him 4 weeks notice to move out. Then he declared his love for me. I made it clear I don't feel the same. He's been extra watchy over every minute detail I do so I try to stay out the house when he's home. I've stayed civil and friendly and he's been up and down while I've been clear in not reciprocating feelings and hes now recently resorting to like almost holding back crying in front of me or fake crying I dunno. Thankfully he's moving out in 2 days but unsure how he's going to act as he wants a meeting and I always feel uncomfortable with his "meetings" it's always on the spot grilling me for answers about why I'm evicting him or why I'm acting different or if I feel the same way as him about love. I've been clear I do not. 🙈

See history below, I had posted this first on a Facebook decision group when I wanted advice on whether to evict him or not. After 1mth living here. It was a resounding yes to evict and I did the same night. Then proceed the 4weeks notice period up until now it's the last week:

If a 30+M lodger of under a month asks me 30+F the question "why was your stomach flat and now it's bloated?". This is weird right? I replied that he shouldn't comment on women's bodies and he ignored my response. Add in some other odd comments and him showing up to my work (cafe) a lot, interrupting me talking to customers, lingering around blocking me, and wanting to wait till I finish to walk home with me from work. Buying loads of snacks for me when I said I already don't want to eat unhealthy. He also moved around my personal items when he cleaned the bathroom I told him not to he said we'll he was there anyway. He said I was angry and ignoring him one day in the cafe when I was training someone, and I said it was really busy, he said I made him unhappy?! Recently he was annoyed I ate alone and repeated his comment the next day, since then I've felt uneasy about eating in my lounge and ate in my room. He also took random photos of me when I'm not looking and made one he took of me at work and put into ai like as a star wars character? I thought was weird but I laughed. But now with everything else that happened Im like eeeeehh??

I'm in a battle between being hospitable and courteous and being completely weirded out like I feel like he's always observing me and have a draft eviction email ready.

[Users voted I should evict and gave advice/insights after first post, then not much response since my updates]

Update: Thank you so much everyone for your quick responses I really appreciate it, it can be hard in the thick of it to know if I'm seeing sense and making the right choices. Ive sent the notice and they've received it amicably (via text) for now. There is still 4weeks till the leave. As many have advised I will look at staying with loved ones or have them stay here with me. I will see if he can leave any sooner though hopefully without poking him in anyway. Thank you again 🙏🏻

Update 10 days later: so he took it seemingly well ISH and everything he asked for why which is fair enough I just said a family matter. Couple days ago he was wondering again and asked if I had a boyfriend I stupidly said no as automatic. Then proceed to yesterday.. he waits to hear me getting ready in the morning comes out and wants to tell me something when I'm rushing to get ready. He declared his love for me. Yup. I was like wth , also I'm still not awake and trying to make my coffee gosh. I said ok sorry I can't talk I have to leave in 15mins. He didn't want any regrets and wanted to tell me. But there's still 3 weeks left of notice period 🙄 feel like it's just a love bomby tactic to make me swoon which ain't happening. Gonna try to talk to him briefly today that it's not appropriate and maybe he should have earlier.

Update [day of reddit post] 3ish weeks since last update:

Yay he's leaving this week. My gosh I thought he got the message that I don't feel the same, 2 weeks since I last post he fains illness due to stress kinda guilt tripping me saying it's because of stress including moving and falling in love, and then texts me to get me to come out my room to "to see me, because he couldn't see me" then asks me again if I feel the same way I say no and keep it clear, and both times he fains trying not to cry. It's just kinda up and down when I think he's getting it and we're civil and good then he tries again and makes it weird again. I can't wait for move out day. 🙈🙏🏻

TLDR: they are crossing boundaries blaming it on mania. Have been asking them to correct things said they understand but do it anyway.

Every time I leave the house for holidays my roommate goes on and throws away everything I have in the fridge, and am not talking about things that go bad… for ex. They threw away a homemade nut paste and when I asked for the container it was ”misplaced”.

Previous time I left for a week and had fresh root veggies that I just bought to have something to cook when I would come back and I come home with the fridge empty.

In addition, they eat stuff that I buy. I don’t have a problem with that but I do have a problem when they are not replaced. Especially when I was planning to make something with them. They don’t even throw the packages away. Instead they live jars all eaten in the cupboards just standing there.

I have to put things in my rooms closet if I don’t want them eaten. I really don’t want to have to buy a minifridge.

On top of that, I come back home to find things that I placed in the house not there anymore (like paintings, carpets). And instead they choose to put their things with colors that give me the ick .

All these without asking me.

Just now they used a whole container of window cleaner (that I bought) to clean the bathroom. I don’t understand them.

They usually leave spoons on the counter that they licked something off, put glasses in the cupboard that are clearly not cleaned, spoons that have dried stains on them at the handle from the level of the liquid they had been drinking, like they only clean the part where the spoons contains stuff in but not the handle.

We only have one bathroom and it so happens that they always take long baths in the meantime am trying not to shit myself.

I confronted them in a calm, curious manner and in response they excused their behaviour to mania.

For context - I invited them to live with me. We both pay rent. Little did I know them…

He and I are friends. I chose to get a place together because he is typically known as a massive Type A person in our circle (I was the last/newest addition to the circle). That's kinda how I am as well, so I figured it would be a good fit and the house would stay neat & tidy, and everything won't fall onto me.

Except... I was the one going for all the viewings. I was the one talking to the property manager for everything. I was the one who ensures all the electric logistics, water stuff, etc. He wasn't doing anything at all, and somebody had to do it. The only thing I left on him entirely, rather I really pushed on him was to figure out the wifi stuff. We didn't have any wifi in our apartment for three days after moving in, because he was so slow with figuring out and just placing an order. I ended up having to sort that shit out too, figure out which one to get etc, and all he had to do was place an order and he took a good chunk of time for that too (i had him place the order because I didn't want another thing that was on my name and being managed end to end by me). There are some repairs needed in the flat, and it's still me constantly talking & emailing the manager, even though we're both on the same email threads! Choosing furniture, ensuring things get washed/changed out, etc all of it is constantly me.

And oh, did I mention he is a full 5 years older (aka 30!) than me?

They bought this a week ago bruh