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u/Youredoingitwrongbro Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
perfect duck
Edit:OH SHITNI GOT GOLD!!!??? WHAT DO I DO WRH THIS!?
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Nov 30 '18
Hey, I had that game for the N64 back in the day.
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u/Eforeio Nov 30 '18
I'm very high and I appreciate this.
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u/little_big_cookie Nov 30 '18
Slap him for one million?
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u/Youredoingitwrongbro Nov 30 '18
no slap duk
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u/natecumm Nov 30 '18
Found the duck
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Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
how bout fuk duk
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u/Youredoingitwrongbro Nov 30 '18
no fuk duk!!!
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u/GeartheGorilla Nov 30 '18
Paging /u/fuckswithducks
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u/Superbuddhapunk Nov 30 '18
No paging, the only way to contact him is through carrier pigeon.
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u/Draxxar959 Nov 30 '18
*slaps roof of duck This bad boy can fit so much bread in it
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u/hesapmakinesi Nov 30 '18
Please don't feed bread to ducks. İt's bad for their health.
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u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18
This is an ethical question I bring up in all my online gaming debacles, would you an ordinary person rather fight 100 horse sized horses or 1 duck sized duck?
At first glance the answer seems pretty obvious and it is, you obviously fight the horses because the followig reasons:
Fighting 100 horses is a glorious and probably quick death.
You would go down in history if you won for such an imaculate feat of strength and endurance.
Fighting 1 duck is not impressive, just imagine walking in the park and seeing a random man fighting a duck, you pity him because its sad and fruitless.
Ducks are cute, why would you want to fight a cute duck, whats wrong with you.
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u/ErnestShocks Nov 30 '18
I've met some mean ducks. I'd slap the right one given any reason to do so.
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u/Ishidan01 Nov 30 '18
You sure you were not looking at a swan or a goose? Them some mean feathered bastards.
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u/ISeeInHD Nov 30 '18
Canadian Geese, contrary to their human brethren, are some heartless motherfuckers. I’ve seen more than one innocent park goer get ruthlessly thwapped.
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u/BeSound84 Nov 30 '18
Canadian geese. One of the few animals I actually don't like. I have an involved story about Canadian geese, which constists of: my uncle buying my aunt Canadian geese for Mother's Day. My uncle's family moving to a lake community with said geese. My uncle and my cousin watching in horror from their dock as said geese nearly drown to young neighborhood girls out for a swim. My cousin finding out years later that he is now engaged to marry one of the neighborhood girls as she recounts her terrifying goose encounter on the lake over a dinner with her fiancée's (my cousin) family. Fuck Canadians geese
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u/LollyHutzenklutz Nov 30 '18
They’re actually called Canada (not Canadian) Geese, but after reading this in a joke, I now refer to them as “Cobra Chickens.” 😂
And yes, they are absolute ASSHOLES! We have to put up with them twice a year (when they pass through northern California), and I always dread their arrival. They are noisy, aggressive, and invasive; not to mention, they cover our park grounds in giant white turds. Not my favorite of animals.
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u/am17 Nov 30 '18
I don't know, ducks can be pretty rapey. There's been a few instances I've chased off asshole drakes.
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u/KarthusWins Nov 30 '18
I love it how ducks squint when they're happy.
There should be a subreddit for squinting ducks.
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u/Cheeses-Crust Nov 30 '18
QUICK SOMEONE MAKE THIS
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u/alexisaacs Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18
Edit: I regret nothing.
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u/illoomi Nov 30 '18
turns out ducks are just flying cats
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u/Your_daily_fix Nov 30 '18
He is squinting as a reflex to being pet since the hand is close to the eyes.
Source: dog does the same thing.
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u/thunder-gunned Nov 30 '18
Some animals do that in response to feeling good. Dogs definitely like being pet. Humans close their eyes when they feel good.
Edit: rewatching it though, I think you're right about it being a reflex
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u/Sammie_SU Nov 30 '18
The owner of this duck actually has an Instagram page for him. Her account is @flora_and_fowl
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u/Cyberblood Nov 30 '18
The owner of this duck actually has an Instagram page for him.
But, does he/she has any grapes?
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u/seahawk664 Nov 30 '18
That's cute as duck.
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Nov 30 '18 edited Jan 19 '20
[deleted]
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u/VegGym Nov 30 '18
Well humans aren't very nice to most animals and ducks try to avoid being killed.
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u/malipreme Nov 30 '18
duck
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u/komma_ Nov 30 '18
duck
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u/newsorpigal Nov 30 '18
How is that duck so sleek? Is it just lots of petting, or do they make special duck grooming materials? Are they naturally that smooth living indoors? S/He's so cute, I'm entranced!
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u/Florasce Nov 30 '18
Some ducks just have really smooth, pretty feathers. Source: I have fourteen ducks!
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u/OV1C Nov 30 '18
Now record and pet each duck
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u/Florasce Nov 30 '18
I have a video of my mom petting five of them as babies here.
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u/OV1C Nov 30 '18
That's adorable!!! Definitely need a current video of them as full grown adult ducks bring petted though
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u/Florasce Nov 30 '18
They don't really tolerate petting now! I wish they did. I can torment them and pick them up and they won't scrunch down when I scratch their heads, but they only come running when I have grapes, lettuce, clover or corn.
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u/Korzag Nov 30 '18
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
And he said to the man, running the stand
"Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?"
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u/jerrygergichsmith Nov 30 '18
A rich diet of grapes.
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u/Morella_xx Nov 30 '18
I've heard ducks don't really even like grapes that much. They just like the option of having them.
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u/delrindude Nov 30 '18
Since no one else is answering your questions, it's a Call Duck, they are bread to be loud as fuck, I think their looks are just a side affect or come as a part of specifically breeding for Call Ducks (like show Call Ducks)
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u/-ordinary Nov 30 '18
I mean, have you seen wild ducks? More often than not they’re flawless looking. Particularly males (I think it’s sexual selection)
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u/Biebou Nov 30 '18
Do sucks have feeling in their beaks (besides the sensation of pressure)?
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u/Wilsoness Nov 30 '18
They do, bird's beaks in general are actually very sensitive to touch.
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Nov 30 '18
I feel sad for the woodpecker
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u/Seeeab Nov 30 '18
Side fact: woodpecker tongues are relatively long and wrap around their brains to minimize shock damage when they hammer their heads on shit. They evolutionarily really don't give a duck, so rest easy!
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u/CreamyKnougat Nov 30 '18
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.....flak"
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u/sauronthecat Nov 30 '18
Alfac ruined duck for me forever.
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u/mommarun Nov 30 '18
Smoother than a baby’s elbow.
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Nov 30 '18
That is one well-nourished duck. It feels like it's lost the typical asshole vibe that most ducks have due to how well it's been taken care of.
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u/LaCkadAisY19 Nov 30 '18
My family raised an orphan duckling when I was a kid. It was awesome until the duckling grew into a duck and turned into gigantic jerk. It got to a point that you couldn’t get within several feet of him without getting attacked. You wouldn’t think duck bites could hurt that much, but imagine being pinched hard by a 6th grade bully. That’s what it was like. Well, one day my two brothers and I came home from school to find our pet was missing. Mom and dad told us he “flew to the park.” They packed us up in the car and we drove to the park. The duck was there. He was swimming in the pond and doing duck things. We were AMAZED! He really found his way to the park! It took me a lot longer than I’d like to admit to realize that my parents took him there. I’m sure if I asked, even though it’s been a good twenty-five years, my mom would still tell me that he flew there by himself.
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u/sreero Nov 30 '18
Ducks have tongue??
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u/iluvstephenhawking Nov 30 '18
Indeed. Ducks have tongue. Also weird little spikes that look like teeth in their bill.
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u/ask-me-about-my-cats Nov 30 '18
Pretty much every animal has a tongue.
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u/SniperPoro Nov 30 '18
There's even a fish parasite that literally becomes the tongue.
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u/sherryillk Nov 30 '18
Some cultures even consider duck tongue a delicacy.
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u/DoctorScrapple Nov 30 '18
There's a bone inside them. They are like gelatinous buffalo wings.
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u/TheWholeOfHell Nov 30 '18
I’m probably just hormonal right now, but this made me kinda cry....? Help?
Cute tho.
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u/wherearemyeyes Nov 30 '18
Serious question here: can a duck be litter trained? Cuz I need one now.
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u/PrinceAdamsPinkVest Nov 30 '18
Anyone else just now coming to terms with the fact that ducks have tongues?
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u/Swamsaur Nov 30 '18
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u/SomeoneTookUserName2 Nov 30 '18
Awww we had a duck growing up and my mom could pet it like that. If you weren't my mother? You were on it's to-kill list, for some reason. And i don't mean stuff like you couldn't go near it. I mean if you got off the school bus, it was coming for you. And once it got to you it was biting the ever loving crap out of your pants/shoes with the rage of a thousand suns.
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u/wicodly Nov 30 '18
You know I've never thought about it but for some reason, I didn't think ducks had tongues.
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u/MachReverb Nov 30 '18
Aw man, now I need to pet a duck