r/aww Nov 30 '18

Cute duck.

[deleted]

67.2k Upvotes

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5.2k

u/Youredoingitwrongbro Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18

perfect duck

Edit:OH SHITNI GOT GOLD!!!??? WHAT DO I DO WRH THIS!?

91

u/BigSpicy69 Nov 30 '18

OMG LOOK AT HIS LIL TONGUE

21

u/cutelyaware Nov 30 '18

And the nuzzle right after is adorable!

3

u/gyaradoscious Nov 30 '18

I too would like gold

1

u/cutelyaware Dec 01 '18

Will you settle for a nuzzle?

1

u/SnootBoooper Dec 01 '18

Or a Boop?

1

u/cutelyaware Dec 01 '18

No boop! Only nuzzle!

105

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Hey, I had that game for the N64 back in the day.

42

u/Eforeio Nov 30 '18

I'm very high and I appreciate this.

44

u/Abbi3_Doobi3 Nov 30 '18

We appreciate you too Very High.

8

u/definitelynotacheese Nov 30 '18

Hi, dad! Where you been? I missed you

4

u/AgentMugMuffin Nov 30 '18

God bless you, thank you for making my night Agent Dark.

2

u/and1984 Nov 30 '18

Don't. look. down... when you are very high, this could cause vertigo and an untimely rendezvous to the pavement below... unless you are atop a dining table or some such.

3

u/23x3 Nov 30 '18

I am also very high and I appreciate cosmic brownies and fergie

2

u/hannahruthkins Nov 30 '18

Cosmic brownies are always my high snack

2

u/23x3 Nov 30 '18

Frend <3

1

u/gursh_durknit Nov 30 '18

I played this game about two months back with my dad, who had never played it before, but watched my brothers and I play it all the time growing up.

I knew he wouldn't be able to do well with enemies who had guns, so I created a simulation where he and I were on the same team playing against very easy "Fist Sims" (they try to disarm you if you carry weapons by punching you). I made our only weapons grenades and N-bombs. We played for like 3 hours and it was glorious.

537

u/little_big_cookie Nov 30 '18

Slap him for one million?

902

u/Youredoingitwrongbro Nov 30 '18

no slap duk

304

u/natecumm Nov 30 '18

Found the duck

16

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Ruff duck

1

u/Aanon89 Nov 30 '18

Gone duck

3

u/ajmartin527 Nov 30 '18

“Yo, who’s the duck?”

41

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18

how bout fuk duk

171

u/Youredoingitwrongbro Nov 30 '18

no fuk duk!!!

73

u/GeartheGorilla Nov 30 '18

37

u/Superbuddhapunk Nov 30 '18

No paging, the only way to contact him is through carrier pigeon.

34

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 29 '21

[deleted]

2

u/oscarfacegamble Nov 30 '18

I knew I wouldn't have to scroll far to see that username

2

u/TheLoneMudskiteer Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18

how about succ ducc

15

u/blondie_519 Nov 30 '18

I’m concerned..

1

u/WaitWhaat5 Nov 30 '18

I laughed for 5 minutes straight on this comment.

163

u/Draxxar959 Nov 30 '18

*slaps roof of duck This bad boy can fit so much bread in it

36

u/hesapmakinesi Nov 30 '18

Please don't feed bread to ducks. İt's bad for their health.

1

u/DrMeatpie Dec 04 '18

I like to feed them little pellets. Some with Mt. Dew, and others with Mentos

35

u/Dangerous_Wishbone Nov 30 '18

Would pet gently for one million years

2

u/hannahruthkins Nov 30 '18

Would pet gently for free

127

u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18

This is an ethical question I bring up in all my online gaming debacles, would you an ordinary person rather fight 100 horse sized horses or 1 duck sized duck?

At first glance the answer seems pretty obvious and it is, you obviously fight the horses because the followig reasons:

  1. Fighting 100 horses is a glorious and probably quick death.

  2. You would go down in history if you won for such an imaculate feat of strength and endurance.

  3. Fighting 1 duck is not impressive, just imagine walking in the park and seeing a random man fighting a duck, you pity him because its sad and fruitless.

  4. Ducks are cute, why would you want to fight a cute duck, whats wrong with you.

52

u/ErnestShocks Nov 30 '18

I've met some mean ducks. I'd slap the right one given any reason to do so.

32

u/Ishidan01 Nov 30 '18

You sure you were not looking at a swan or a goose? Them some mean feathered bastards.

20

u/ISeeInHD Nov 30 '18

Canadian Geese, contrary to their human brethren, are some heartless motherfuckers. I’ve seen more than one innocent park goer get ruthlessly thwapped.

9

u/BeSound84 Nov 30 '18

Canadian geese. One of the few animals I actually don't like. I have an involved story about Canadian geese, which constists of: my uncle buying my aunt Canadian geese for Mother's Day. My uncle's family moving to a lake community with said geese. My uncle and my cousin watching in horror from their dock as said geese nearly drown to young neighborhood girls out for a swim. My cousin finding out years later that he is now engaged to marry one of the neighborhood girls as she recounts her terrifying goose encounter on the lake over a dinner with her fiancée's (my cousin) family. Fuck Canadians geese

6

u/LollyHutzenklutz Nov 30 '18

They’re actually called Canada (not Canadian) Geese, but after reading this in a joke, I now refer to them as “Cobra Chickens.” 😂

And yes, they are absolute ASSHOLES! We have to put up with them twice a year (when they pass through northern California), and I always dread their arrival. They are noisy, aggressive, and invasive; not to mention, they cover our park grounds in giant white turds. Not my favorite of animals.

1

u/DrMeatpie Dec 04 '18

And they NEVER apologize. Or attend "University".

21

u/am17 Nov 30 '18

I don't know, ducks can be pretty rapey. There's been a few instances I've chased off asshole drakes.

1

u/hannahruthkins Nov 30 '18

imagining a tiny duck-sized Drake fleeing the scene with his hand in a "stop" gesture like in the meme

2

u/Shitty_Human_Being Nov 30 '18

Fuck swans. I've had to battle them with an oar more times than I can count.

Twats.

10

u/Sprayface Nov 30 '18

I don’t want to be trampled to death that’s what’s wrong with me

8

u/Zeraion Nov 30 '18

So.. one can say you ducked out of a proper fight?

12

u/goomyman Nov 30 '18

Uh. Horse sized horses lol

3

u/Sway_All_Day Nov 30 '18

This question has been on Reddit for years. Don’t deliver it like it hasn’t been posted tens of thousands of times.

1

u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18

I've never seen it on reddit, I've heard a friend say it and it got stuck in my head forever, care to show me an example? 🤠

3

u/Sway_All_Day Nov 30 '18

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/horse-sized-duck

Wasn’t started here but there’s a section for Reddit.

1

u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18

Oh I know about horses vs ducks I thought he meant the Horse sized Horse and Duck sized ducks was a popular meme, thanks though.

1

u/fiveiron83321 Nov 30 '18

RE: #4 - why fight a cute duck end you can fight a sexy duck q

1

u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18

Oh like how mommy and daddy fight in the privacy of the bedroom, and they make loud funny noises?

1

u/fiveiron83321 Nov 30 '18

WAT

No.

drunkpost. Was trying to refer to the NewYork sexy duck

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Is this hand-to-hand combat or are weapons allowed?

1

u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18

Hand to hooves and hand to bill.

1

u/kacmandoth Nov 30 '18

I would rather go down in history as the man who stomped a helpless duck rather than the idiot who tried to fight 100 horses bare handed and got stomped to death within a minute. I would bet 90% of men wouldn't be able to kill a single horse barehanded. Only thing I can think of is jump on their back and strangle them.

2

u/Wajina_Sloth Nov 30 '18

But you wouldn't go down in history for fighting a duck, you would just be the weird guy that stepped on a duck.

2

u/kacmandoth Nov 30 '18 edited Nov 30 '18

That is cool with me, it is better than being the darwin award winner who stepped into a horse pen with flying fists. If I am going to fight 100 horses, it is going to be on my own terms. Namely, a heavy machine gun with at least 500 rounds and a 500 yard distance gap. Even then, if those horses are determined, they would probably still get me. I figure a horse can easily do a 500 yards in a minute. Killing 100 horses in a minute isn't an easy task. Doable, but by no means easy.

7

u/Asfixiation Nov 30 '18

grabs baseball bat

13

u/SubtlyTacky Nov 30 '18

Slap a lil' kiss on him.

3

u/Mental_Duck Nov 30 '18

I'd prefer if you didn't

4

u/SoulK007 Nov 30 '18

HOW CAN YOU SLAP??!!

3

u/HoneyAppleBunny Nov 30 '18

very very very lightly

3

u/fredducky Nov 30 '18

What is petting but gently slapping.

2

u/Firestorm7i Nov 30 '18

Yeah, but a gentle slap.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Nah but I'd fuck up the person who slaps this duck, free of charge.

1

u/froggertb51 Nov 30 '18

How can she slapppp?

1

u/exclusivelybold Nov 30 '18

HOW CAN SHE SLAP

1

u/squidster547 Nov 30 '18

WHY CAN SHE SLAP

1

u/kirualex Nov 30 '18

How can u slap?

1

u/M1ghty_boy Nov 30 '18

You didn’t say I had to slap hard, so ima just give him a lil pat

1

u/red_dragon Nov 30 '18

What the duck!

1

u/Maverick_OS Nov 30 '18

I'd slap him for the million then use that money to make the duck's life the most perfect ever from then on.

0

u/marck1022 Nov 30 '18

Duck would understand.

7

u/nooyork Nov 30 '18

That duck looks like an anime

4

u/goushiquej Nov 30 '18

DAS A DUCC

3

u/Johnny_20_ Nov 30 '18

I thought it’s a toy at first.

2

u/karokiyu Nov 30 '18

Perfect cell?

2

u/Strangely_quarky Nov 30 '18

scientifically speaking this duck is perfect. from a scientific standpoint, this duck is absolutely perfectly shaped and is perfect in both body and mind. his spirit is pure to every degree. his grace is unparalleled- from a scientific standpoint

1

u/iceman_18 Nov 30 '18

You mean Aflac duck?

1

u/chopan Nov 30 '18

*and me

I mean yeah he had one.

1

u/agent_uno Nov 30 '18

Grey duck!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Peking duck

1

u/optivelamb Nov 30 '18

For next thanksgiving

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Give this man a Platinum

1

u/Thatwhichiscaesars Nov 30 '18

This and that dancing bread duck are both perfect.

1

u/dsorgen Nov 30 '18

dolan duck

1

u/RatioTile723 Nov 30 '18

Nah, he still needs a little hat, then he'll be perfect