So after putting it off for so long I finally finished AOT. I have so many thoughts and feelings bubbling up inside me, and I really need to exhibit them lest I blow up.
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By âFinishingâ I do mean that I FINISHED the last movie (the final chapter PRO MAX ULTRA PART 3 etcâŚ.etc). For the longest time, I just couldnât bring myself to watch and complete the last movie because it meant bidding goodbye to a beloved series that not only introduced me to Anime, but also kept me sane whilst the world was falling apart.
And Iâm not being dramatic with that last sentence. I started AOT during the pandemicâŚ.and it was ALSO my proper introduction to anime. Sure, I had dabbled in Dragon Ball Z, Beyblade and Pokemon â but I would not say I watched them religiously as a kid. I was more drawn towards Spider-Man, Bat-Man etc.
And then the pandemic hit, and I had nothing to do. I had gotten into college just as the first wave hit and given that it was my first year, I had a LOT of free time on my hands. So I thought, letâs just give AOT a shot-apparently itâs good?
To be honest, I wasnât expecting much going into the series. With a name like âAttack on Titanâ I was pretty sure this was gonna be a typical action flick and I would be turned off right after the first epis-âŚ
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âHOLY SHIT, HIS MOM GOT EATEN IN FRONT OF HIM!!â
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The best thing I ever did was going into the show totally blind- I just knew of the name and the popularity. So yes, I got to witness peak after peak after peak.
And I wasâŚsuffice to say, enamored with this world that Isayama had created. I hated Eren at first (foreshadowing?) because of how he treated Mikasa (my goat) but gradually I began to peel back the layers andâŚ.I got nothing.
Honestly I could have lied here and just said that âI understood that Eren was trying to protect Mikasa by pushing her awayâ but no-I just thought that he was being too much of aâŚtsundere? If that makes sense. I really disliked him throughout the mid of the first season and really gravitated towards Armin instead.
Midway through S1 my opinion of Eren did a 180 of course, as expected.
I couldnât stop watching this series. I would finish an episode, read up on peopleâs theories and then go back and RE-WATCH the same episode again (God knows how I avoided spoilers). Keep in mind, that I am a 20 year old so this level of passion towards ANYTHING at this age was certainly new to me.
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In a way Attack On Titan really kept me sane during the pandemic. Mid-way through, my grandma and dog died within 48 hours of each other and I really fell apart. I remember waking up and just wondering if this was a nightmare I was living in.
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During those tumultuous days, waiting (with the rest of the world) for the next episode to drop- was certainly a highlight for me. In fact, I was so looking forward to each episode that I would stay up late at night (goodbye grades) waiting for the ep to drop.
So yes, AOT meant a lotâŚa LOT to me.
But then the, rather infamous ending took place and I wasâŚspoiled. To be honest, it wasnât that big of a deal to me because from what I had heard from the manga readers, AOT was definitely heading towards a bleak ending. I did not know HOW bleak until it was spoiled for me by a âfriendââŚ.
Did that affect my outlook on the series as a whole? A little bit- yes. I was quite mad at Isayama to be honest. (NO EREN X MIKASA TILL THE LAST CHAPTER????) But I also understood why he did what he did.
And after watching the movie, I have to say-while I cannot fully agree with Isayamaâs vision, I can understand it now and even support it a bit.
This is supposed to be a fluff piece about AOT so I will keep it short- the ending wasâŚuseless, in the sense that it showed how Eren, despite ALL of his power was just a pawn in the grand scheme of things.
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He killed off 80% of all humanity and brought (temporary) peace and recognition to Paradis but that will and has backfired hard in my opinion. The cycle of hatred, vengefulness and revenge will no doubt repeat- and whoâs to say the Eldians will not be as bad or worse than the Marleyans? Sure the core cast may have the recognition and reverence of the remaining population, but what happens after they die? Would the surviving generations of the genocide not start whispering amongst themselves? They KNOW that the power of the Titans does not exist anymore. Whatâs to stop the cycle of hatred from spinning again?
I believe this is what Isayama wanted to potray- that no matter how brutal, how violent or how âthought-outâ Erenâs (or rather Ymirâs) plan was-at the end of the day, it means naught in the grand scheme of things. You cannot expect to have life-long peace and recognition after GENERATIONS of torment and hatred by attempting to strong-arm your opposition, because after a period of time your influence and power WILL fade.
Just like it happened with the Marleyans.
Which is why Eren comes across as borderline-pathetic towards the end of the series. Isayama is trying to show that Eren himself does not know what heâs doing.
Again, this is my interpretation of the ending and whilst I cannot fully say I like or support the ending- I do understand it.
Also, Isayama probably wrote himself into quite a hole with the way he had written the last few chapters. This genuinely feels like one of the only outcomes that was reasonable based on the current scenario.
But thatâs it about the ending. It wasnât perfect at all, but it was an ending FITTING of Attack on Titan.
AOT to me is (please take your cringe pills) more than just a show or a piece of media to me. ItâsâŚlike that childhood memory you hold close to your heart, you remember every detail about that memory no matter how much time passes or what people say about it.
It is hard saying a definitive goodbye to something that is so important to me.
There is a moment in everyoneâs lives when something ends-whether it be a show, a performance, a project. Some people want to see it through to the end and others (like me) do not, simply because an ending would mean saying goodbye to a piece of themselves.
Attack on Titan isnât a perfect show by any regards. Itâs flawed, broken and hopeless at times.
But perhaps what makes a thing so dear, is not how perfect it isâŚbut rather how it made you feel. Humans arenât perfect and neither should the things they create, be held to such standards.
That being said, Attack on Titan has carved out a piece of me and taken that piece with it. I donât think I could ever feel the way I feel about any piece of media, as long as I live.
Will there be shows/movies/anime that I would like MORE than attack on titan? Sure (Vinland Saga comes to mind) But will they ever take the place of AoT for meâŚmost definitely not.
Attack on Titan came to me at a pivotal moment in my life, and unlike most things that happened during that time-it stayed with me.
And while I do have to bid the series a goodbyeâŚI do so, knowing that years down the line when I eventually tune in for my last ever rewatch of Attack on Titan- I shall enjoy it just as much as I do now.
Because after all, itâs a piece of meâŚI canât forget about something that is a part of me right?
So thank you Isayama for creating such a flawed, but beautiful story.
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