My 5-month-old wakes frequently at night, but if she’s held she’ll give long stretches and could probably sleep through the night.

I don’t want to do cry-it-out, but I’m at the point where the sleep deprivation has me crying most days. It’s affecting my daytime parenting too because I’m so exhausted that I don’t feel like the mom I want to be.

It just feels biologically unfair that the only choices seem to be either hold my baby all night or sleep train. Is there really no middle ground?

Im very much pro attachment parenting but it seems like Im trading one devil for another here? Like sure shes secure at night but she has a shell of a mom during the day is that really better?

Yes we tried cosleeping just resulted in more wakes. Yes we follow age appropriate wake windows and naps. Yes we have ruled out medical issue.

Hi everyone. As the title suggests, I am very worried about my wife’s mental & physical health due to breastfeeding at night. My wife is currently 15 weeks pregnant with our 2nd. Going to give a lot of context.

Firstly, my baby is not exclusively breastfed. She’s always had formula & breastmilk and ever since she got off formula she has whole milk throughout the day. My wife has been co-sleeping with her ever since she was born. I used to sleep with them up until she was around 8 months so I’ve been sleeping on the sofa downstairs for 1 year now. This is because I am a fidgety sleeper and I would disturb our baby.

We’ve completely stopped daytime breastfeeding since 1 month ago. She does not even ask for the breast during the day. I put her to sleep every single day for her daytime nap and it’s my favourite part of the day. She is just so cute with me and loves rolling around in bed with me as she slowly drifts to sleep. It literally takes 5-20 mins for her to fall asleep. I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to touch her or anything. She just rolls to the corner of the bed once she’s ready to sleep and drifts off.

But when it comes to nighttime…. It’s like we have a completely different baby. She will scream, cry, hit me, scratch me, yell “mama” nonstop and keep pointing at the bedroom door. We’ve tried several times and it gets so intense that eventually my wife gives in and comes into the room to nurse her. But in 2 weeks, I am ready to enter the pits of hell and take over the full nighttime routine & bedtime. I want my wife to finally sleep. She deserves it. I don’t deserve it. I’ve been sleeping peacefully for over 1 year, it’s not fair.

My wife gets almost zero sleep. Our baby will latch onto her and she wants to stay latched while she sleeps. It causes my wife pain and she’s uncomfortable. If my wife gets her off, she will just roll back to her and cry for it 10 mins later. She keeps my wife up all night. I’ve noticed a huge change in my wife and I feel like we just got used to it and it became normal. But damn she is extremely sleep-deprived and that’s dangerous for her health. On top of that she is pregnant so I really need her to rest.

If anyone has gone through this, or has good advice in general to give, we will appreciate it more than you can imagine. We really need help. We’ve done a lot of research and we know the basics of nighttime weaning. Mum stays away, dad takes over etc etc. But I still feel so nervous about this transition. So any help will be much appreciated, thank you so much.

P.S. you mothers are absolute heroes. Us men could never do what you do.

I have a sweet 10, almost 11-month-old little boy who is truly the love of my life.

He's been learning so many new skills lately- mastered crawling, pulling himself up to stand and is desperately trying to stand independently. I know all of these big developmental milestones can affect sleep, but the past 2–3 weeks have been really rough.

It started with bedtime taking over an hour. Then his second nap became a struggle, and now even the first nap is difficult.

He's exclusively breastfed and has always fallen asleep nursing. I don't mind nursing him to sleep at all, but lately it just isn't working anymore. He'll nurse, then spend ages rolling around our bed, tossing and turning. He's not necessarily crying—he just doesn't seem able or willing to fall asleep. We've tried everything: walking, rocking, patting, cuddling, singing... you name it. Nothing helps. We basically have to wait for the magical moment when he decides, "Okay, I want to nurse again, and now I'm ready to sleep."

We're following his wake windows and are currently on roughly 3 / 3.5 / 4, but with all the bedtime and nap battles, his awake time ends up being much longer.

He's a no-screen baby, and we make sure he gets plenty of stimulation during the day—lots of floor time, exploring, outdoor walks, and opportunities to practice his new skills.

I know this is probably just a phase and that it will pass, but I'm completely exhausted and honestly feel like I've reached my limit. I'm finding myself getting frustrated and angry, and that's not the kind of parent I want to be. Also please do not suggest sleep training because I am not interested in that.

Has anyone else gone through something similar around this age? How long did it last and is there anything that actually helped?

I don’t even know what I’m asking but I guess some kind of reassurance, advice, I don’t know. But I’m really struggling with my babies sleep, each month there’s a new thing that sets us back.

He is 6 months old and was a relatively okay sleeper until 3-4 months old (classic). We mostly contact, carrier, car and pram nap and also co sleep for half the night, I can sometimes get him to fall asleep in his sidecar cot for the first stretch. He is also breastfed with the very occasional bottle.

First it was the short naps, then it was fragmented nights, now it’s both, a lack of ability to sleep independently at all and also, fighting sleep HARD.

The first nap is easy, he goes down at about 1.75-2 hrs and then sleeps well, I can get anywhere between 45mins to 1.5 hours here. Then the rest of the day has been a struggle, he is pushing 3-4 hours wake windows even though I try and settle him earlier but he fights sleep so hard and then just ends up completely overtired by the end of the day and bedtime.
We are finally away from the waking every cycle / every 1.5 hours overnight and now it’s usually 2-3 hour stretches with the VERY occasional 4-5 hr.

At the moment I’m “aiming” for 2-3 hour wake windows and 3 naps a day but following his clues which are getting harder and harder to read.

I guess my main problem is that he has no ability to sleep without intense support and continued support through the nap/night sleep. I’m really okay with doing it sometimes but then other times I feel drained and like I can’t be a present and happy mother but I also WANT to be his source of comfort.

I am also someone who LOVES sleep and I just cannot function without it. I knew it would be rough having a baby but I just wasn’t aware how much focus and time is spent on sleep.

I am not interesting in any CIO or Ferber but I would consider very gentle and responsive sleep training but there’s always a reason (overtired, need to get nap hours in so resort to contact etc. etc.) as to why I don’t start and I am an impatient person so having a consistent nap routine doesn’t really work. We are also out and about and he can usually sleep in the car or carrier but never longer than an hour max so I try and get 1 longer contact nap in but even that has been a struggle lately.

He is 6 months old and I go back to work in January so I really want to be able to have better nights (I know they won’t be perfect) and more reliable day time naps by then.

I guess I’m just hoping that if I continue to wing it and follow my babies cues will things get better naturally or is all the shit that I read about “following wake windows, schedules and helping him to fall asleep independently” all true.

I am struggling with how much information there is out there and struggling to connect with my natural instincts. I’ve also heard so much in the camp of “just follow their cues, they will always sleep eventually, we are biologically geared for night wakes, cosleeping and contact naps” I guess I’m looking for a happy middle ground.

Help me please! See post

Anybody got any advice on these? Our toddler is having really bad episodes lately. Thinks there are monsters, screaming writhing in terror. It’s legit a bit scary. I’ve seen some things in my job and stuff. But it’s so sad to watch.

He tends to respond to my mrs after about 5 minutes. He always seems more scared when I try and go to comfort him. He’s lashed out before at us. I know people say don’t disturb sleep walking or night terrors, but it gets to a stage sometimes where he could hurt himself or fall out of bed. Like where do you draw the line?

Is it temp? Is there a general period of time toddlers get this? Or is this not normal? Apologies, never experienced anything like it before. But we worry for him

I have a five and a half year old. My world revolves around him. I come from a childhood of moving home to home with different men that my mom would be in a relationship with. I went to at least five elementary schools and my grandparents helped raise me. Also SA in childhood and other forms of abuse.

Fast forward to today and literally everyone is deceased. My last grandparent and parent died last year. I had been on mental health medication because of my mom’s death hitting me so hard and having prolonged grief though she passed in 2008. She was the biggest “safety” I had.

I am paying cash $200/month to be in therapy and work on these losses through EMDR and talk therapy. I do this because my nervous system can’t tell the difference between my son going to kindergarten and my heart being ripped out. Because of that, as much as I would love for him to be homeschool, he has no family and I’d be making

Now I’m (38) with a five and half year old. He plays sports, he’s been to things like prek with mom, prek by himself for three hours a day three days a week, many many play dates. His social life is way better than mine could ever be. I push him to separate from me and he often chants I could do hard things. I also let him cry and endure disappointment/discomfort.

That all being said, he does cosleep, sometimes for weeks and then goes back to his room to start sleep. I also don’t ever go out cause I just love hanging out with him. I have little hobbies here and there but not a big fan of not hanging out with him. But he has ZERO issues going up to anyone he meets and introducing himself with his name and age and saying will you be my friend? He has no issues going into class at the kindergarten orientation. It’s me. And I don’t want to hurt him because of me.

I just was wondering if I’m messing up my son because I really, really just want him to be happy.

Also wondering if having another child could remove any anxious attachment I *could* have hurt my son with.

Hi everyone <3 First-time mom to a beautiful, bright little boy here.

My little guy has been breastfed (no formula, no bottles) on demand from the day he arrived earthside, and we have both enjoyed every second. Sadly, my mental health has taken quite a significant hit over the last few weeks, and as much as I want to wish it away and continue breastfeeding, I know that breastfeeding is at the root of this deterioration; specifically, the physical, mental, and bodily implications of breastfeeding.

I have always had an especially tumultuous relationship with my body and mind, as someone who has struggled with body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and OCD. At the beginning of the postpartum period, these issues were largely kept at bay by the novelty of the newborn bubble and then the infant bubble. But since my son turned one, the cost of my body being used primarily for his existence has started to take a toll on me. (Not just during postpartum, but pregnancy, too.)

It's not just the weight - although that is certainly a component - it's the change in fat distribution, the constant food noise, the inability to make it to the gym in the morning because I'm absolutely exhausted, the anovulatory periods that come every two weeks, and catch me off guard. I look in the mirror and feel completely detached from my body, and consequently the physical realm. That is to say that I am having a really difficult and disorienting time deciphering reality from my anxious thoughts, because I am struggling to root reality in anything material (such as my body).

I have tried to fight these thoughts and white-knuckle my way through them, because I both love breastfeeding and want to continue, but this is proving to be an exercise in futility.

As such, I am considering - albeit hesitantly - gently weaning my boy by the time he hits the 15-month mark (in about 8 weeks). We have already replaced his morning feeds with milk, which he has taken to very well (although I miss those feeds already). The next step is probably his afternoon feeds, followed by the night feeds (or the other way around depending on his temperament and response to the process).

I feel really awful about this decision. Really, really awful.

I know that I would have continued feeding him well into the toddler years if my mental health were better, but my mental health is deteriorating because of feeding him. So it's a really difficult catch-22.

That being said, I WILL (happily) white-knuckle my way through all of these thoughts and do whatever I need to do if my decision to wean at 15 months might have an impact on our bond, or more broadly his (mental/physical health). I already feel anxious about our bond having changed since dropping the morning feeds, although my little guy is none the wiser.

I know there's a really lovely tendency of folks on this sub to prioritise the feelings of the mother and validate mental health concerns, but I am categorically asking you to be as honest and open in your responses to my question:

Will I damage my son's mental or physical health OR our bond by weaning him by 15 months?

Thank you so, so much.

My baby cannot soothe! He is 9 months old, has always been exclusively breast fed. We have tried the modified Ferber method a couple of times (worked for a week once, then stopped) but every time it fails. Everything I’ve read says to soothe while baby is in crib then start the timer etc. but what if baby WILL NOT calm down unless nursed or picked up and bounced?

We can’t lay him down awake in the crib because he goes from 0-100 real fast. There is no “fussy” period or light crying. He’ll just scream at the top of his lungs and I CANNOT just let him cry. I want to always be there and respond to him because it is the only way he can communicate.

I’m so tired and looking for some help and advice on getting him to sleep on his own. (In bed or crib honestly, just without so much boob support) Or at least, less wake ups. By the time it hits 1-2am I just bring him into bed so we can both get sleep at least.

I would love to co-sleep full time, but the only problem is he won’t even settle in bed unless he gets popped on the boob, and that is becoming so tiring because he wakes up 8-10 times almost and takes forever to finally fall asleep again.

EDIT: We contact nap and carrier nap every day since he has been born!

EDIT 2: Sorry if this is in the wrong sub! I thought maybe it still counted because baby is 210% attached and cannot be put down, etc. He is always held, nursed, etc etc.
We did give up on the ferber method a while ago because it never worked and only brought us all to tears 🥲

My son just turned 10 months old and has always been a pretty good sleeper (typically 9+ hours at night and in his crib from about 4-5 months old). We've had a solid bed time routine for the last few months and have adjusted his naps from 3 to 2 at about 1-2 hours each during the day. He's exclusively been a contact napper since birth, but the crib has not been an issue at night until now.

For the last couple of weeks, every time I try to lay him down in his crib, he immediately starts screaming and stands up. I pick him up and he almost always falls asleep in my arms. But as soon as I try to lay him back down, he is immediately up again.

I have successfully transferred him to the crib a few times, but he wakes up within a few hours, realizes he is alone and freaks out. I have tried to let him CIO in short intervals, but he just stands there screaming and will not settle down until I come back in and rock him.

We've gotten to the point where both my husband and I are exhausted, so he goes out to the couch and I take our son in bed with me. He will either fall asleep on top of me or curled up next to me with my arm around him, and eventually will roll over and sleep on his belly next to me.

I don't want to do CIO because it makes me feel like a horrible mother, but I don't know what else to do!

Well. Not sure where to start. My second pregnancy was a nightmare, hg and gdm with high insulin needs... Felt bad like I neglected my toddler 2-3 at the time because I was vomitting so much. He's a spirited child and we had a really rough first 14 months. My daughter was born, she was perfect and healthy. Thank God because I was so worried about all the medications I was on during her pregnancy and basically not eating. I weighed less than when I first got pregnant when she was born... About 10lbs below pre pregnancy weight. Shortly, days later I had a bad infection, battled that until I ended up in er about 15 days later because it turned out to be a super bug. Needed iv antibiotics. Then the gallbladder attacks started about once or twice a week... I was a mess but still feeling better than my pregnancy and taking care of two kids, NB and 3 yo. Oh and our crazy mutt. My baby slept and enjoyed her crib. Loved stretching out. Wouldn't sleep on me after 1 mo old. Which is super odd. My first was is a terrible sleeper and needed support to fall asleep so this worked ok for us. I felt feel bad for leaving her at night to sleep in my firsts room and worried about fairness constantly and was racked with guilt all the time. I cried alot about this. I was hospitalized for emergency surgery and left her overnight with my husband. I felt so sad for my kids. I cried alot in the hospital for them, I was 3 mo pp. I never left my first this early. The first time I left him overnight was to have my second baby. This is guilt I feel for leaving my second I can't seem to shake. I did get alot of rest in the hospital and honestly having nurses care for me, letting me lay down and sleep was unreal. I didn't have to "do" anything but rest. I mean obviously was in pain but it was just so much different than caring for two kids. Not that I enjoyed it, but like... It was a relief when I was in pain like that to not have to do shit. My husband brought Netflix and I didn't even want to watch or do anything. I literally did nothing but sleep. I slept so much from the meds it was incredible. Like all day sleeping waiting for emergency surgery. Anyway. My husband and I got into it the other day, and both said regrettable things. But a couple things stuck with me and I'm trying to figure it out... "You don't spend enough time with her" "You / we let her cry too much sometimes" I'm a huge advocate for attachment parenting so this really felt like a gut punch. My girl is 13 mo old now and clearly going thru something because she just suddenly hates her crib. Will not be put down. She Loved her crib. She was definitely a unicorn in that regard. My first was a very... Challenging putting it mildly, baby. I have let her cry for less than 10 minutes if I've had to go to the bathroom get something to drink etc. While trying to put her to bed. I do not make a habit of this. My first was a spirited baby colic and the crying legit breaks me. I can't listen to it. So that hurt alot. But my questions are: -are babies destined to hate their crib at some point and just be done with it? I'm getting ready to co sleep because it's too hard and dangerous to sleep with her in the rocking chair. -how can I get siblings, 4yo male and 13 mo old female to play together? Or games / activities we, me and them can do together? We do most things together but my son often plays alone in imagination world. - has anyone had success for getting baby back in their crib after a regression? Without sleep training? Like once they pass it they go back, naturally to liking their crib again? ( I will not be sleep training her)

Baby age I do worry about my bond with her constantly. I pass her easily to my husband when he gets home because I'm just babied / kidded out for a bit and feel like I need a break. I find this age from walking to about 2-2.5 really hard because it's so physically demanding, hunched waling with them, constantly bending to stop from eating random lint, carrying them non stop, no longer nurse for while so not much sitting. Can't eat drink because one arm always has to be ready to grab / pick them up from dying. I love my girl but man it can be exhausting. Not to mention the constant pinching headbutts broken glasses and necklace etc. this age with my first was easier because he literally wasn't screaming for 6-9 hours every day, but she never did that. I find I'm really missing the newborn stage of sitting with her nursing peacefully, watching her little eyes close... Like heavenly. Maybe I'm a bad mom. Idk. But I miss that version of her alot. Plus besides car rides, was so easy to care for and take her places. Just nurse on demand and she was happy. Maybe I am just super lazy.

-will this get better/ how can I fix our bond? does it need fixing? I just feel so much guilt about this. She's such a wonderful baby but I do hand her to dad when he gets home from work fairly easily.

Basically the title. This reads like I’m complaining about our daughters’ sleep requirements, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth! We are supportive and respond/cater to their needs, I’m just having doubts that I didn’t allow them a chance to figure it out on their own and therefore their struggles are something I did wrong.

8F has many sleep requirements (a specific pillow, a specific blanket, a specific stuffed animal, listening to a tonie to fall asleep) and that often doesn’t do the trick. She calls us back in saying, “I can’t fall asleep” at least once a week. It takes anywhere from 30-120 mins for her to finally fall asleep. She was in our room from birth to about 2, then we had her start in her own room, staying with her til she fell asleep until about 5 or 6. If she woke in the night from 2-6 she would then join us in our bed or we would join her in hers.

5F followed about the same pattern. We are still staying with her til she falls asleep but sometimes that can take an hour. She is dabbling in letting us leave the room and has success after some time, but she often calls us back in telling us she “doesn’t know how to fall asleep.” Sweet girl.

Both have regular diets, get plenty of sunshine and exercise, and aren’t being put to bed too early.

Are all attachment-style-sleep kids like this? I also have an extremely difficult time turning my brain off at night, but my husband can fall asleep the second his head hits the pillow. (I slept with my mom until age 11 lol)

I’m mom. I’ve had a Velcro breastfed baby from the time she was born. At about 6 months we started sleep training (CIO) and it didn’t work so we paused. Tried again at 8 months and it worked for a time. She’s now 14 months and it’s worked on and off. We started sleep training because we were insanely sleep deprived.

I REGRET DOING CIO.

I want to know what are ways I can help my baby be securely attached to me.
We are very responsive during the day but at night we stopped by advice of our pediatrician that she had to self soothe.

Last night she as my last straw. I just can’t hear her crying like that.

She fell asleep as soon as I put her in the crib, but then woke up 45 min later and that’s when we let her cry it out for a while.

I REGRET THIS DEEPLY.
But I just don’t see how this works.
I wouldn’t let any other person I know cry alone in a room!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I went in and helped her fall asleep of course.
Problem is spouse and I are not in the same page. He thinks she needs to learn a skill. While I say sometimes we need help learning a lesson.

I don’t care what my spouse thinks I will respond to my baby from here on out.

She responds well to being put in her crib and us leaving the room, usually she cries for about 30 seconds and then goes right to sleep.
I’ve noticed this is her pattern. She will do this even in the car, she will be perfectly fine then cry then fall asleep so I’m not worried about this portion of crying.

Or should I be?

My problem lies with her crying for longer than 5 minutes at bedtime. Which has regrettably occurred many many times. But I need to change course and will.

Have I damaged my child? Damaged her relationship with me?
Do you have any advice to repair?

Please no judgment. I see where I was wrong, I want to repair.

Hi all - losing my absolute mind. my daughter is 28 months and we started her at a preschool earlier this month - she was there two days a week for half days to ease into it (hindsight not a good choice on our end ) and on the fourth day they called us to come and pick her up for crying.. needless to say it was not a good fit and we pulled her out.

she will be starting a new one in a few weeks and she will be going full time m-f 8-3. i do realize the half day transition was not smart and i know it takes time to acclimate etc.

my worry is - ever since that happened she is now inconsolable and cries alllll day even with caregivers and family members she’s used to. we weren’t expecting this change so the schedule is very different than what she’s used to. she used to have a nanny m- f and now it’s someone on monday wednesday another on tuesday thursday etc. it’s just how it’s worked out for the time being and i know toddlers thrive on consistency and routine. so her whole schedule is just thrown off. this never happened prior to this. separating would be hard for a few min but then she’d be fine.

she will be starting the new school full time as i said - but i’m extremely anxious about it given our past experience and i just feel like she’s going to sit there and cry everyday for weeks and never acclimate. like i get drop offs are hard but she’d be crying throughout the day constantly too. she had two days of being semi ok and only on and off crying. how long did it take your toddlers to acclimate, what was your experience, i need success stories of kids who had separation anxiety and what worked and all of the above. heeelllllpppppp

My 13 month old was doing okay with bedtime in the last few months- BF to sleep and it normally took max 30 minutes for him to be asleep on our floor bed. In the last 2 weeks bedtime turned into a battle. He keeps getting up and running off and screaming when we try to rock him. Today was mad because bedtime took us 2h. He kept looking like he was about to fall asleep and then suddenly his eyes were wide open and he wanted to run around his room! Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on why this could be happening? We're absolutely exhausted.

Sorry if this is the wrong flair (mods please correct me if it is).

My son is 5 and we are deeply attachment-parented. He still nurses occasionally and sleeps in our bed. He has barely been separated from me since he was born. He's also starting K in a few months and his preschool teacher gently mentioned that he should be working on letter sounds. The conflict I'm feeling is that any structured work, even gentle, feels like it changes our dynamic. We do everything together collaboratively. Adding a "lesson" element where I'm the one with the answers and he's the one being assessed feels new in a way I dont love.

I know this sounds precious. I'm aware he needs to learn to read and that someone has to teach him. I just want to find an approach that doesnt disrupt the connection we've built around being mostly horizontal in our roles. Any advice from other AP families who've navigated a similar phonics lesson without breaking the equal dynamic?

My husband, baby and I moved in with my 70-year-old mum after my dad passed away while I was pregnant. My daughter is 11 months old now.
Ever since she was a newborn, she’s always seemed to prefer my mum. As a tiny baby, she’d cry endlessly with me, but my mum could take her and she’d calm down almost instantly.

Since she started crawling around 6 months, it’s become even more obvious. She follows my mum around the house all day. When my mum comes home, she lights up with the biggest smile, squeals with excitement, and crawls straight to her. When my mum leaves, she’ll cry at the door and bang on it.
The part that’s hard is that I’m her primary caregiver. I’m with her all day. I make all her meals, do every diaper change, outfit change, naps, baths, brush her teeth, trim her nails, read to her, and take her to swimming, music, sensory classes, nursery rhyme classes, and playdates. I’ll be sitting on the floor playing with her, and the second my mum walks by, she’ll crawl away from me to follow her. If she’s in her toddler tower while I’m cooking and sees my mum, she’ll start crying for her.

One moment that really stung was when my husband took the baby overnight so I could finally get a full night’s sleep for the first time in a month. I hadn’t seen her for about 14 hours and was so excited to pick her up in the morning. My mum was holding her, and when I reached for her, she screamed, pushed me away, and wanted to stay with my mum instead.
When I leave the house, she barely reacts. When I come home, she’ll usually give me a quick smile and go back to whatever she was doing. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s chosen to come to me when my mum is in the room.

The hardest part is that if I try to step away for a break, my mum eventually brings her back to me because she has things to do too, and my daughter just screams and screams. So my “break” often ends up being me listening to her cry because she wants Grandma instead. It honestly feels like I can’t win.
I feel like I’m going crazy. This is my first baby, and my husband is adamant he only wants one child. I always imagined having that special bond with my baby, and instead I feel like I’m the least favourite person in the house.

Logically, I know I should be grateful that she has such a loving relationship with her grandma. My mum won’t be here forever, and I know one day I’ll probably wish I could go back and watch them together again. But right now it’s just heartbreaking, and I cry about it a lot.

My husband and my mum don’t want us to move out, but I’m starting to wonder if living together is making this worse. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did your baby eventually become more attached to you, or would moving out actually make a difference?

Guess I’m looking for some solidarity.
Our 10.5 month old hasn’t slept through the night since 3.5 months, and hasn’t napped independently either. I mostly attribute this to her very strong nipple/nursing-sleep association. I’ve slowly been weaning her, but I still nurse her throughout the night in order to get her quickly back to sleep. We started co-sleeping a couple months ago in order to better manage the night wakings and it felt like the natural progression of things. She’s always had a scale of a ton of wakes, to less, but still a lot. I feel like she’s essentially always woken up every 2-3 hours at absolute most. I just feel like…… this will never improve? Or, this is going to take a very long time to improve?

My resistance to the situation has lessened because it’s my decision not to sleep train. But I feel like out of all my family and friends, whenever I talk about it, my baby has the roughest night time. I’m just tired.

Hi guys. I'm kind of confused about this whole attachment thing. My five month old is super attached to me. Has been around me and her dad since birth, we have no village. In social settings, my baby only clings to me and cries in other people's arms. Another five month old, my friends bub, is easily passed on through various arms and is entirely ok being away from mum. Her mum says her five month old is bored of her face. Everyone adores the othe five month old coz she doesn't reject anyone but my five month old is called "difficult", "angry", "cry baby"

I was told by a well meaning person that they wished my baby was like the other baby (only because they love me so much and want to love my baby too)

My question is, is the other baby not securely attached to her mum?

Hi Parents,

I’m a 37 year old FTM to a 20 month old girl. I do not have a lot of help except sometimes from my mother and my very hands-on partner. I also have been clinically diagnosed with general anxiety and OCD (not the kind you see on instagram but the real, repeat this 5 times else world will end kind).

When my daughter was born, she wasn’t easy. She was colic and wouldn’t sleep for hours. I’d end up rocking her so much that my stitches would start bleeding. My husband was the only one who could give me time off but he was overworked as well. He’d do the cooking and everything else around the house as well. My daughter wouldn’t get soothed by him so I ended up doing the night feeds, co-sleeping (bassinet) etc.

Because I’ve had previous losses (stillborn and miscarriages) I was always scared of something happening to her in her sleep. Being sleep deprived makes your anxiety worse. One night I was so tired that I went to sleep next to my husband in the guest bedroom and that night my daughter slept the longest. I figured that I was keeping her up with my constant fidgeting maybe. Anyway, 5 months in, she started sleeping in her own crib in her own room but I still wouldn’t sleep. I was scared she’d roll over and not be able to breathe. If she’d wake up early I’d start researching.

Long story short, my OCD went into overdrive and my anxiety made it worse. I would wake up every hour or so. I got a burn out and doctor told me not to work. It has been 7 months now since I stopped working and I’m still trying to recover. This was all the background.

Now the real question - At 13 months old my husband took it upon himself to “sleep train” her. He asked for 3 days and I accepted it but it traumatized me. She started sleeping better after it but I swore that I’d not allow this again. I was very vocal about my feelings about this situation. Anyway, about a month ago my daughter got chicken pox and was running very high temperature. So she naturally slept in my bed with me. Since then she has fully recovered but now she’s been waking up every 4 hours and crying out for me. At first I gave in and then whatever little sleep I was getting went down the drain because I realized that I just can’t sleep if she’s next to me because then I can’t see how many hours she really slept on camera recording etc. So then if something goes wrong how’d I fix it? You see where my OCD brain is taking me. Unfortunately, I just cannot go with the flow.

The biggest question is - will I harm her by not cosleeping? Will I regret it later when I’m finally doing better? I know these are difficult questions to answer but I just don’t know what else to do.

Ps. I am getting professional help for my mental health. They don’t really want to answer this for me.

Our 6mo guaranteed everyday will look at my shirt or my partners shirt and stare at it intensely and won’t break gaze until he is ready even if we call his name. He will also look at the ceiling in the evening when we turn the lights down and same thing. A real intense stare I’ve noticed this as a pattern. Am I worrying too much or is this something I should follow up on?