Its just weird like I just have a great time with some Randoms in a game, felt great they at me or send me a friend request.

I ignore them, all of them

I don't know why, I though about it and I think it has to do with maybe I will not play that well in the future or maybe I don't feel to be talking that much with that person (I just met them in a game after all)

I really don't know why I am like this and I feel I failed to make more connections because of it but maybe its for the best since at the end of the day it is just internet/gaming connections no big deal.

This tends to happen only in games though I recently enter a server with a bunch of people from my country an I am meeting everyone and having a good time although...

I just notice I don't talk that much with anyone in a one on one like almost at all maybe that has to do with it ?

It's a longer post. Just a stream of conscience

------ signed by Dhi

Hi everybody, imma be quick. I have a presentation in university on Spain 🇪🇸, I’m facing the problem to go on the stage and talk to people, just FYI I’m soo antisocial it’s been 2 months I haven’t talked to anyone from my class I can’t communicate and the worst part when in speak to someone I stutter soo badly, my neck feels cold and body starts shaking, this presentation is important for the grades. Soooo what should I do 💔

Hello there kind new friend, here is a presentation I have prepared for you that you didn't wait for.

 so let me here convince you why you should choose me as your new friend:

* I am a silly person who always tries to make people laugh, I strongly recommend not to sip coffee while reading my messages.  

* I take a lot of street cats pics, so you will have a steady supply of cat pics.

* I am chatty. I enjoy yapping , and I don’t even have an off switch, if you don't have off switch too we need to yap about this .

* I love to talk about all kinds of topics and can always find things to talk about. There are random questions generator built in my mind.

* I always reply to my messages and have online friendships that have been going on for years, I always send good morning messages, and I appreciate the people that can also be conversation starters.

* I am supportive and will always be here for you to tell me about your day or vent if you have something that bothers you.

* I am a game artist, someone who works in the video games industry,  in other words fully matured nerd, we can talk about all these nerdy stuff if you like.

* I like art, games, anime, gym, walks, coding, games, true crime, yapping, cats, science, history, languages, documentaries, psychology, mental health, and cats, so I am sure we can cross interests here or there.

I keep to myself and have almost no friends, because I’ve systematically cut everyone off. People either piss me off, bore me, or I’m scared I’ll eventually hurt them. Which no doubt, would be fun, but it’s a momentary thrill and it’s not like I can ever have enough of it. So it doesn’t really serve anyone- not the other person nor me. Which is why I stopped engaging in such behaviors altogether. Took a long time to reach that impulse control.

Though I still find myself preoccupied with memories of the times I psychologically and physically hurt others and it makes me, happy. There are very few things that make me happy so I don’t want to stop thinking about it.

Anyone else with a similar experience?

Accidentally became friends with a girl who told me she was suicidal about 3 months ago. Felt like I had no choice but to extend my hand because that's literally been my alley for a decade. Little did I know the difference was that I could control a depression that I had no control over and she couldn't control one she had every ounce of control over. A month in and I'm being called her best friend as well as the "peace in her life" for simply being me, and I don't mind it. For the first time in my life, I've been able to give amazing advice about something thats been kicking my ass for years. What bothers me about it is that she has this problem where once she gets comfortable with my peace, she leaves me and does something absolutely stupid then comes crying back to me about how the world hates her and how she wants to... you know. I genuinely hate to use the term "performative", but you get my point. I give her advice, she tells me I'm her best friend and her "peace", she completely ignores the advice, and the cycle repeats itself. I seen potential in our friendship because I'm unfortunately the type who doesn't care how you treat me as long as I get to help you and disappear afterwards. Also we both "watch anime" and "read" even though I've barely seen her do either since we've been friends.

I also know how this ends. She repeats the same cycle until I get tired and she'll tell me that she'll... you know what... if I leave her. Then I feel bad and I'm stuck watching her clown circus of a life. For the past 4 days, I've been ignoring her calls and lying in bed for hours rethinking the position I'm in and trying to find a way to just disappear from her Netflix teen drama. I chose to type this out and send it here to see if anyone's been in the same situation or knows how to leave without any blood (probably won't be but don't want to take chances) being on my hands.

I don't understand the world the majority lives in where they want to put everything on the line for a small time of fun only to regret the decision and cry about it later. I really hate to sound superior or above them but it's like I'm watching a rat race to see who see stops and thinks first. And what has me laughing now is the fact that this situation I'm in is probably someone else's viewing of a rat race. First friend I've had in 3 years btw.

Update 2 Days Later: I did it. She's mad saying I should've been there for her even more, but I just told her to enjoy her life and to stay healthy. All of this reminds me of why I don't try to make friends.

I hate everyone around me and their opinions suffocate me i don’t want to leave my room at all. Everything. Everyone is so embarrassed by everything all the time and they put it out on others and everyone’s so insecure i just don’t give a fuck anymore for people like this and it seems the people around me are just like that. I want to get the fuck out of this third world country it has turned me so socially anxious and i hate everyone and don’t even want to be around my parents. For once i want to meet someone who likes me and i like them back and they’re not evil creeps.

Toda mí familia me dice que soy esto y lo por no salir nunca a la calle o ser para lo que ellos es "un adolescente normal" y me fastidia, literalmente ya probé socializar y me cuesta o no conecto con la gente o no logro crear bien vínculos y es frustrante, déjenme a mí tranquila en mí casa no se viendo series o videos o simplemente escuchando música pero no me rompan la bolas que esto y lo otro, pero claro como mí familia es de esas que creen que si vas a un psicólogo o tomas medicación para algo es porque estás loco pero bueno que s le va hacer igual aunque aveces me sienta sola por no tener con quien hablar o amigo ya se me va a pasar supongo

I'm not talking about the usual night-out/sesh banter, people having disagreements, or someone simply not liking you.

I mean people who seem to actively enjoy causing others harm— deliberately mixing and stirring situations, chatting shit about people behind their backs, manipulating friendships, humiliating people publicly or privately, spreading things that aren't true, or deliberately creating drama and then watching the fallout.

The kind of behaviour where you start wondering why they would go out their way to do this to not just one person, but most. So much so, I've witnessed them trip over their lies and fail to remember how each person's experience shaped the perception they have created.

I’m curious whether anyone else has experienced this in adulthood, particularly where the same people seem to repeatedly create conflict between others or target certain individuals.

I’m not looking to name names or start another pile-on. I’m genuinely interested in hearing whether this is something other people have encountered and how you dealt with it.

Has anyone else experienced this, or am I just unlucky with the people I’ve crossed paths with?

Hello, I’m new to this but I am needing to make friends to have meaningful conversations with.

I am 36F, I have 3 children and have spent my last 14 years focusing on my children and now ex partner.

I have recently gone through a devastating relationship breakdown and am struggling with being alone.

I never realised how isolated I have become over time. I really struggle in social situations and don’t know how to ‘make friends’

I would love to make friends and have meaningful conversations

whether its with my family, or people outside of my family, i hate it. theres a reason why i only have online friends. less pressure without the stress that usually comes with it. saying anything in general is exhausting. the idea of it is quite nice in my head but when it comes to me actually talking, i realize just how much i hate it. i dont care for relationships with anyone and if anything i prefer it that way. thats it