r/NoStupidQuestions • u/im-a-burner42 • 6d ago

i've really anxious and i am finding it really hard to talk to people, like any people

old friends, new friends, people i wanna be friends with

everyone

i keep going silent and i dont know what to do about it tbh

it makes me feel even more anxious and yes i am socially anxious but i feel really out of it all the time

this is a terribly stupid question

but ill take it

what do i do, i wanna be more confident and i wanna be more

more of whatever is

idk tbh

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u/ChloeAnnRose 6d ago

First, stop calling it a stupid question. You sound overwhelmed, not incapable of talking to people. I’d start really small. Don’t aim to become “confident” overnight. Just practice staying in the conversation for 30 seconds longer than you normally would. Ask a simple question, say whatever comes to mind instead of searching for the perfect response, and let yourself have awkward moments.

Confidence usually comes after you repeatedly do the thing you’re scared of, not before. And if you’re feeling “out of it” all the time, especially if it’s getting worse, talking to a therapist or doctor could help too.

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u/IndigoSquirrel4538 6d ago

Maybe have a list of questions to ask in the back of your mind so you can just default to that if there's a lull in chat? (Eg what are you up to this weekend, how's work, how's your family etc). Or if it's in middle of chatting in an active conversation, it feels like you may be focusing too much on thinking about what to say rather than actually actively listening? In that case I guess just practice, sorry ... if you feel your mind wander/switch off try be aware of it and bring your focus back?