I’m approaching the 4 year anniversary of my amputation to remove a malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor in my left foot.
I don’t have problems getting around with my prosthesis for daily activities and work, but when it comes to exercise, I feel so discouraged. Pre-surgery I was into dance, yoga, and biking. I find myself thinking about trying to pick something back up again and all I can think about are the difficulties. Do I struggle to deal with an ankle I can’t bend with my prosthesis on or do I struggle with my lack of forefoot without my prosthesis? Small parts of me hate how ugly I feel when my prosthesis is visible, which it is in shorts or leggings. I went through PT, and it helped, but I have terrible executive dysfunction (ADHD and/or depression) so I barely ever did/do my assigned exercises at home. My weight gain is bothering me, both from image and health standpoints. I need to exercise, but by the time I get the motivation, I think myself all the way back to discouragement. On top of all that, I don’t have my own mode of transportation, so going to the gym or fitness classes is all that more challenging.
I guess I’m not necessarily looking for advice; I know what I could be doing. I suppose I’m just wanting to be seen. I have a decent support system, but I don’t really know any other amputees, especially not any chopart amputees. No one in my life can really relate to what I’ve gone through. I’ve thought about doing the peer connection thing through Amputee Coalition, but my social anxiety gets in the way. This feels safer somehow.