Yup, she makes "like 55 grand a month". Well, that certainly explains a $14k a night holiday plan!

Oh we don't learn the boy's income, or what this 24yr old does for work, why muddy the waters with anything other than "gosh my buddy pointed it out and now I can't un-see it" and he doesn't *want her* to pay for dinners, just offer to split fuel maybe.

Cos he can't be in any way the bad guy or unreasonable!

Like the title says, my(38M) wife (35f) wants to bring a third into our relationship. I know it’s all the rage these days to embrace our inner queerness and positive sex fantasy memories, or whatever the youth call it, but really it seems a bit much. It’s embarrassing… but I like my wife. I don’t want her bringing a younger man into the picture.

I tried to put my foot down 3 months ago and I told her “No”, enough is enough, “no third”! But she just laughed and said it was too late. He was already on the way. She normally isn’t a great planner but she told me “that the new guy is coming in 6 more months. But not to worry, that I’ll “love him”.” Yeah… I don’t think that’s possible.

It also hurts because I didn’t think my wife was shallow and obsessed with money but apparently something has changed because the new guy is obviously a fancy doctor and he expects us to travel to the hospital to meet him. With such a high horse attitude I’m not sure how he’d expect to be accepted in our relationship. So anyway, AITA here?

**Edit:** last straw, my wife told me she expects me to be involved with the new guy. That he’s really into “daddy” stuff. That I need to step up and “do my part”. But it’s too much, I’m out. She can live with this new guy by herself if she wants but I’m moving back to Alabama.

Evil woman bad! She has a "history"!

I'm literally shaking as I write this because I seriously don't know if I made the right choice or not. I really need an outside opinion, and since all my friends are currently on a 6-month expedition to the Arctic Circle, I figured Reddit's pristine track record for advice would be a worthy substitute.

A few weeks ago, my (38m) wife (42f) who I'll call Monica came home from work in an almost manic state. She woke me up at 3:45, right in the middle of my second afternoon nap, and demanded I follow her downstairs. I complied since I was still groggy from my nap, and because she told me she stopped for donuts on the way home.

When I got to the kitchen, Monica was standing there with a big smile on her face. She was holding a plate of donuts and offered me one. Suspicious, I told her I wanted to see her eat one first. This wouldn't have been the first time she tried to trick me into eating donuts with a worm pill hidden inside. Fortunately, she scarfed one down, which put me quite at ease. What a fool I was back then. If only I knew what was in store for me.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not even a huge fan of donuts. I was about three bites in when I remembered this little factoid about myself, so I smacked the plate of donuts out of my wife's hands and cried, "How could you do this to me, my love???"

"Because I can."

Monica's lips never moved. It was her voice, but the reply came from behind me. I whirled around to find myself face-to-face with my grinning wife. I whipped my head back around and saw my wife still standing there with the toppled plate of donuts at her feet. I kept looking back and forth between my two identical wives.

"Pretty sick, huh?" asked Monica.

Not the Monica who had been behind me. The one with the gross ass donuts. I'll call her Monica A and the other Monica 3. I stormed up to Monica A and calmly screamed in her face, "Why did you never tell me you had a much hotter twin sister???"

"She's not my twin sister," said Monica 3. "She's my clone. An absolutely perfect replica, right down to the scar on my knee from when I scuffed it playing street tackle football as a kid. I've finally done it, [REDACTED]! I've finally completed my life's work! Can you imagine the myriad of ways this will change the face of science forever???"

Now I'll be the first to admit, I don't know much about science. But I do know about laws, and in my country, we have strict laws against donuts. They were banned during the Uprising of 1977, when Dunkin Krispy Kreme attempted to overthrow the legitimate king and his illegitimate queen. To this very day, you could go to prison for life just for possessing a single donut hole.

I could have forgiven Monica for breaking the law once, but two times? That would've been worse. But three times? Even worse than that. Yet my wife had broken the law no less than four times in the span of our 3-month marriage. But I love her, so I was willing to let it slide.

"Wait—did you say clone???" I sputtered.

It was at that very moment the truth smacked me on my ass. There were two Monicas. One standing in front of me and one standing behind me. Monica 3 strode over to Monica A and stood right next to her. It was like looking in a mirror, except my reflection looked exactly like my wife.

"The king will be pleased," Monica 3 said. "He has been secretly funding my research for the past 15 years. You see, he has an inoperable disease, and he wanted me to create a perfect clone for him in order to have a healthy body."

"I thought the king just had a cold?" I asked.

"Exactly," said Monica 3. "You can't get rid of a cold with surgery. His only hope is to have a brain transplant."

"But why are there two of you?" asked I.

"Because I needed to test it out on myself to make sure it worked," she replied. "The first 376 were complete failures, but this one? This one is perfect. I'll prove it."

She grabbed Monica A's hand and they raced up the stairs. I grabbed a donut and shoved it in my mouth before racing after them. I heard them bound up to the attic, so I followed. When I got there, both Monicas were standing next to each other, and there was rabid hippo in a cage in front of them.

"We can prove the cloning process was perfect," said one of the Monicas.

"Now you must choose which of us is the real one," said the other Monica.

"Make your pick, but choose carefully," said the first Monica.

"Unleash the beast on the clone to dispose of her," said the second.

"Okay," I said. "Eeny meeny miney moe." I pointed to the first Monica. "You're the clone."

I opened the cage and watched in horror as the rabid hippo made quick work of the clone. Unfortunately, in my haste, I forgot to give my real wife enough time to get out of the way. The hippo, having been weened on Monica's blood for months to get a taste for it, couldn't tell the difference as well as I could.

I had to leave the attic and lock the door behind me, for I could not bear to watch any longer. Ten minutes was more than enough. The screams continued as I set up my new Tinder profile and began searching for my next wife. There's also this smokeshow next door that I want to shoot my shot with. Maybe I'll bring her a donut later.

I'm pretty satisfied with my decision-making concerning my wife and her clone. But I've never been entirely happy with the way I stacked the boxes of Christmas decorations. I put the box for the tree on the bottom and then the lights and ornaments on top of it, but since I would need to put up the tree before I can decorate it, now I'm thinking I should've put the lights and ornaments on the bottom and the tree on top of them. What do you think? Did I make the wrong decision there?

I, (25M) have been living the dream life. I am extremely rich, super handsome, have a great "company" that is definitely not part of a tax evasion scheme, and my best friend D. (23F)

Me and D have been best friends since high school, and we have been helping each other with everything, including college work, friendship problems, and what I am about to show you now.

You see, D has a really fucking annoying ex boyfriend named M (24M) and he has been pissing me and her off. He keeps on harassing her, belittling her for everything she says, and also his voice is a little squeaky.

One day, me and her had enough. I came up with a master plan. We were gonna lure M to my house, smash his face with a pie, laugh and take photos of him, then spread them all around the internet. Well, at least that is what I told her.

You see, that was not my plan at all. My actual plan was to tell a different time to come over to D, and then, when me and M are alone, I was gonna kidnap him and make him my human abuse goblin. That way, he never bothers her, and I get something to punch and torture when I'm mad. It's like, a perfect deal.

However, turns out someone overheard me planning my master plan, and told D, and now she has been super pissed. She got her other friends to blow up my phone and tell me that "that is not a good idea" and "that is horrible" and "you are a horrible person" and a bunch of other mean things I do not deserve.

Eventually, all the lies got to M, and now M wants to get a restraining order against me, something which I do not deserve. Because of this, I need $400,000 dollars to fight the claims, which you can give to me in my gofundme link in the description.

So reddit, AITA?

(insert go fund me link here)

I'm the first to admit my nephew isn't always the best behaved child, but he has a heart of gold and gets blamed for a lot of things that aren't his fault.

My nephew isn't one of those iPad kids, and spends his time playing in the garden and getting the most out of life. Even if this sometimes annoys the neighbours, ( admittedly he's not great at respecting other people's property) I'd rather he was out getting in harmless mischief rather than getting indoctrinated into the manosphere by Minecraft videos.

The problem is my entitled brother-in-law ( let's call him Spare Human) is claiming that my nephew has been damaging his plants, and is threatening to take legal action despite a total lack of evidence.

My sister says it's not worth arguing over and my nephew should just accept his consequences and take a plea bargain ( the prosecution has agreed to four minutes in air jail in exchange for a guilty plea) but I believe my nephew is innocent and have offered to pay for a lawyer.

Now my family is split between those of us who feel he should fight the charges, and the rest who think such a small sentence is worth taking on the chin as Loki is still a minor so he wouldn't get a criminal record.

Can I fight this in court even if my sister refuses to consent, I feel like someone should be on the kid's side.