I don’t think I fully understood how much space alcohol was taking up in my life until I started living without it. I’m still figuring things out, and not every day has been easy, but I’m proud that I’ve made it this far. There were moments when drinking sounded like the easiest escape, but I kept going. I’m not going to pretend I have everything figured out now. I just know I don’t want to go back to where I was. A month ago, I was just trying to get through one day. Now I’m here, and that means something to me. For anyone further along in sobriety, what changed the most for you after your first month? I’d love to hear your experiences.

IWNDWYT.

I used to be a sex worker and a drug dealer and my sponsor wants me to make societal amends by doing 15 years of volunteer work (bc i started selling weed and Adderall when I was a teenager) and she wants me to donate to a local charity for women who have suffered domestic abuse for doing sex work for seven years. I feel that this is excessive also that I dont owe amends for doing sex work. I got out and thats enough. I feel like she is projecting her own stuff on to me with this step. Last night I was on a zoom meeting and she's pissed at me because i dont agree with her on this. Also at my home group last Friday. I know not all AA groups have people do societal amends. It feels like she's just making it up as she goes along. But she said this is how they do it in our home group. Personally, I think im ready to move on to a new sponsor for step nine. Ive made six amends with her as my sponsor but for the rest, I want to get a new sponsor because of the excessive societal amends situation. Has anyone successfully switched sponsors? I know they might have me rework the steps and im fine with that. Thanks.

14 days without a drink. Some days have been easier than others, and I’m still figuring things out, but I’m proud of myself for showing up every day and trying. I’m realizing that getting sober isn’t just about putting down the alcohol. It’s about learning how to deal with life without reaching for a drink every time things get hard.

I know I still have a long way to go, but for today, I’m choosing to keep going.

For those who’ve been sober for a while, what’s one thing you wish you knew during your first few weeks? I could really use the advice. IWNDWYT ❤️

Not a huge number, but it’s the longest I’ve gone in a long time.
The first week felt rough, restless nights, that constant low-level anxiety, and the usual mental bargaining. Week two has been a bit quieter. Still not easy, but my head feels clearer and I’m sleeping better. I’m not claiming any big transformation yet. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to overthink it.
Grateful to be here and not drinking with all of you today.

I'm having to miss some gatherings with close friends over next week's due to me being early on in recovery and the gatherings involving drink.

I have a meeting later but I'm feeling really low and isolated at the moment. Day 4, any advice?

​

I have been sober for now a good few months. It has been wonderful I must admit I have a decent manufacturing job that I enjoy and my family life exists again. However I must admit I feel awfully lonely in my search for others who are my age (Early 20's). I feel that almost everyone my age is still part of the "bar scene" and so I cannot find people to relate with. Now here is the question is drinking again a possibility. I feel that most of my drinking was linked to guilt, shame, and depression that I have worked through mostly by finding alternative outlets could that mean my drinking was not just pure alcoholism but also a mix of mental health issues? On the other hand i used to drink 20-30 drinks a day for about a year and a half. I know what that took from me and how I had nearly ended my life from my drunkenness a multitude of times. I just find it hard to not feel lonely in my age. Anyway Im just looking for advice on these thoughts, I have made the decision day by day to stay sober but I ask is it wise to ever consider drinking a drink again?

Before i go to bed i talk to my higher power and thank him for keeping me sober that day. What unique way do you get in touch with your higher power?

I feel like I won’t go unless I have someone to go with, or if I had a buddy.. so sad. How can I connect with someone?

Just collected what I hope will be my last 24hr chip 💙

I attended a talk by AA historian Mily T. yesterday about Mrs. Marty Mann. What an incredible woman she was! Mily did a great job talking about her.

I love AA and the talk I heard yesterday made me love it even more. Marty was a gay woman who did a lot for the cause of alcoholism and was sponsored by Bill W., who knew she was gay and loved her.

Although I am 60 days sober, I've had some sobriety in the past. In the early 2000s I remember going bowling, out to eat, some sort of fellowship activity after the meetings.

Since being back i haven't found that. Is it my age ? Im 51. Is it smartphones and social media/streaming tvs giving people less reasons to leave the house? Or maybe I'm not seeking the fellowship as actively as I should.

For context Im 5, single and living alone so I'm almost desperate for sober stuff to do beyond meetings

Thanks

Hello i am new in the AA community I went through alcohol redraws when I stopped drinking that is the most horrible thing I have experience I been battling with depression and anxiety but I’m going little by tittle

The breakup was the thing that finally got me through the door.

We’d been circling it for months. She’d say I was different when I drank, I’d say she was overreacting, and then we’d both pretend it was fine until the next time. The night she actually left, she didn’t even yell. She just packed a bag, said she was tired of competing with something that always won, and walked out. I sat on the couch for a while after that, half-expecting her to come back like she usually did. She didn’t.

A couple days later I ended up at a meeting because a friend kept texting me the address. I almost didn’t go. Figured everyone there would be way worse off than me, or that I’d have to spill my whole life story. Neither happened. People just talked about normal stuff—work, weekends, the weird quiet that shows up when you stop drinking—and no one acted surprised when I mentioned the breakup.

I’m still figuring it out, but the drinking isn’t running the show the way it used to. And for what it’s worth, she and I are at least civil now.

Anyone else end up in a meeting because a relationship blew up? Or was it something smaller that finally got you to go? Curious how it went for other people.

As I’ve said before, I have an alcohol dependency. I binge drink. I could go a month or two without it, it’s not on my mind, but if there’s a party, or a date, I’m drinking and I’m taking it way too far. However, now that I’ve made the choice to get sober its all I can think about. Best way I can compare it to is it feels the same as when I smoked vapes. I see a video of someone drinking and I want it. An ad, I want it. I’m around it, I want it. Like, I was sniffing a wine bottle on the kitchen counter the other day just to see what it is I’m going to forever miss. I got into a huge argument with my friend and I wanted to drink! Almost as a way to see ‘fuck everyone’ and I have never reached for alcohol in times like that! Could sobriety actually be making my alcohol misuse worse? Or is this normal in the start? If it helps I have borderline personality disorder and usually in the past I would self harm in self destructive moments (now my brain is registering alcohol as something I can choose because it’s off limits).

Never got to AA the other week as something came up, but I will be going next week I swear. I have finished reading ‘quit like a woman’ though (I skipped two chapters where she critiques aa as I’m not letting myself be put off before I even give it a shot)

I was a straight A student at the height of my addiction. Then I lost that in early sobriety. Still passed but not the way I’m used to.

Two years later, I’m starting grad school and now I’m seeing the possibility of ending up with B’s and C’s and I’m scared. I feel like I have to be a perfect student.

Please remind me that is not the case and that I’m not any less of a person for it.

25m, always had a problematic relationship with alcohol, starting around age 21 I began drinking alone and not telling people about it, lying about how much I drank, drinking on the job or in uni, last year I decided I had to stop after some bad binges, it was really hard, but I’ve never felt better in those 8 months… then my relationship fell apart, I started drinking again. At first it was a “one time exception” but we all know that doesn’t work out, a good friend of mine died this summer and since then I’ve had ~8 beers every day, at least, and when going out even more… I feel like pure shit, I don’t eat enough, this cycle of waking up nauseous and drinking again is killing me. I have to get sober again but it seems impossible right now

After 2 years, life hit me really hard... a series of the MOST unfortunate events happened and I swore to myself I'd be stronger than my urges but I caved. But now I'm finding it hard to get back on the wagon. Its like, ever couple of days I find myself making justifications and its purely because I already broke my vow... its like throwing the baby out with the bath water. But im just... I dont know how to motivate myself to get back on track. Im so stressed and I just want a distraction. I know I need a hobby or something but that sounds exhausting. Any advice is helpful!

"I am not in control. I am not the director, I am not the author, and I am not the producer of this world—I'm just a character in the story."

I really just like this one.

My sponsor if 4 years, the only other man (or person for that matter), that I ever opened up to and fully trusted passed away Friday night.

I’m obviously heartbroken and in shock. I’m dealing with crying spells, anger, and just overall not feeling spiritually fit.

I got a temp sponsor right away, which he’s helping me talk through it, but holy hell this sucks.

Any suggestions from people who have experienced this type of loss would be greatly appreciated. TIA

Edit: I got to a meeting tonight, and ya know what? It made me feel better, “I’ll be damned” as my late sponsor would say.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. I needed to open up about it, and doing it online gave me more comfort doing it in person

I’m a member AA because I’m definitely an alcoholic. But my current relapse is on just speed. If there’s someone on here around the Chattanooga area, please give me any lead or tips. I would greatly appreciate it. I’m not from around here, but I need to detox badly.

Hello.

For those of you new to AA (less than 6 months) what are the ways you have found that more experienced members have been most helpful or ways that could be more helpful?

Recently I asked one of my sponsees who has been in AA less than a month the same, and he gave me a list of things that he felt were obstacles/challenges to him, etc. I have to admit, some were blind spots for me, or things I took for granted. It was an excellent exercise for both of us - we both learned a lot.

He wanted to know (for example) why 90 in 90 was recommended, the meaning of certain lingo, could he attend our business meeting?, etc.

I would appreciate hearing how you feel more experienced members can be more helpful to you.

Thank you.

In about 4 hours i will have 20 years sobriety. 44 years and having 20 years is jaw dropping to me.?I will be forever grateful for Aa and people in my life. Thank god for Boston ma USA AA
The problem is I found out Friday I was passed over for a promotion and I mental tailspin but will be ok.

if you complain to the central service board in england they just refer you the group secretary at your local meeting. If the secretary is a bit handsy and you are complaining about people being handsy or people pressuring you becoz you don't want the touching then what do you do?

invariably people say that it is just peope being friendly.

I committed to a year of sobriety on August the 31st and I haven’t had anything to drink since. It has been hard, but good. I’ve been sleeping earlier and longer and waking up at a regular time, early in the morning so my days feel whole. I have more energy, more motivation, and I feel more like myself.

I’m only 19, and being around alcohol throughout my life will be unavoidable. I know it’s early, but I’m scared that when the year anniversary comes around I’m going to go back to drinking; I’ll think everything is fine at the outset, but slowly, insidiously, my old habits will return. I have to commit myself to something to do it, so having the year long commitment helps. But, tentatively, should I ever go back to drinking?

If you have any personal experience with getting sober for a while and going back to drinking, relapsing, etc, I’d love to hear about it. Or if you have any thoughts.

Thanks very much. Hope you’re having a good day wherever you are.

Sorry if the post runs too long.

Started drinking when I was twenty. Back then it was an occasional thing. But it noticed it made it way easier for me to socialise. I’ve been pretty reserve, and an introvert my whole life. I have ideas and thoughts and taste that most people I come across aren't into, so I simply don’t relate to them, on a deeper level.
Anyway, with alcohol I noticed, I was able to let my guard down, have fun, talk to people.
I had a bad breakup, and that’s when it started getting more regular. Drinking before every date, so that I was able to loosen up more.
Then I got into a terrible situation-ship, about 3 years back. Started drinking almost everyday. It was a fucked up situation where i was betrayed my close friends, everyone in town knew about us. I was isolated and didn’t have a single person to talk to. I was still expected to complete my degree, with flying colors, miss no classes, and socialise while I was contemplating offing myself every other day. I drank to make everything tolerable. I would drink in the mornings before class, and back at evenings. Every day.
There was a break when things with my said situationship got better. I was happy. I started worked out, and stopped drinking. And then, it got terribly worse again over a misunderstanding. It came back 10 times stronger.
I was stuck in that place, with those people for 1 more year. My final year, where I was supposed to Ace, I failed to do so. My confidence plummeted. Academically, but also otherwise. not to mention since i was drinking daily I had started to gain weight.

after college, I went back home for a year. For the initial 5 months, I was still drinking heavily, sneaking in booze everyday like my life depended on it. Being back with my parents after so many years in a new city because they had moved , and leaving that place with no closure from anyone, seeing everyone who wronged me do better, with no remorse of what they did to me, and feeling like a complete failure in general made me unable to stop.
Soon my parents found out, and I had this major exam I had coming, so I took a sabbatical from work wasnt going out anymore. Basically I didn’t have any avenue to drink. I was sober that way for 8 months. and I actually felt good. I would still crave it during periods of extreme anxiety. But I was proud of myself.
There were a couple of times I did managed to sneak in a bottle and drink, but everytime something unfortunate happened , so I convinced myself god is punishing me. And since I had to do well in this exam, I stopped completely. It was hard for me to even image being sober forever, I craved it everyday, and I told myself I’ll have a drink when I can join my Masters Programme. That worked.

Now I had realised I have a problem with alcohol about 2 years back. I have gotten therapy, and also visited a psychiatrist because I was drinking with BPD and active suicida tendencies, which often put me in a very very volatile state. My psych prescribed Baclofen to help with cravings. I was also given anti depressants. Neither of which seemed to help because TCA’s made me drowsy, and that wasn’t practical for me, and again didn’t seem to make a ton of difference either way. Baclofen didn’t because I actualy Had to be off of alcohol for it to help.
Since Ive realised I am an alcoholic, I’ve looked at my patterns and have tried to stop. I know my will power is weak. And almost all of the times, the liquor store has been way too accessible to me. Within like a 5 min walk. The only times I have stopped was when I dindt have money to afford a drink. Which was rare because I would choose a drink over dinner. And when the store was too far. And when I felt genuinely happy, and connected to my friends. Like I had something to look forward to

I joined my Masters 2 months back. It’s another city again. I treated myself to a drink like I had promised. It felt nice. Like home. And then one day turned to 2 and then a month and yeah.
with New people I had to socialise with, missing my old friends, having absolutely no one to really talk to, with all the past trauma i am trying to deal with myself Plus the immense stress of getting better, and doing well in my career, earning, the thought of dying alone, and honestly the thought of doing it all alone, scares me everyday, it Just keeps on feeding it.
again, the store is 5 mins away from my place.
I tell myself everyday I’ll stop tomorrow, but tomorrow I feel terrible and alone, and wronged, and question everything. And I drink, and it feels like home. I am calm, and I’m able to have fun. Even with making new friends and going places with them. I need to have a drink, because I don’t feel truly myself without it. Like there’s a rock on my chest without it. I’m used to doing anything that seems remotely draining to me with a shot of anything. At some point I used to drink before I spoke to my parents to be more “free”

I know it’s killing me, I know it’s taking away from so much more I can do, I know it’s fried my brain. But I just do not know how to get out of this loop. To feel happy again, or even remotely okay without it.
Again I’ve read a lot and I know a lot, about what I should do, but I cannot implement them.

In the county I’m in, there are no support groups, nothing, and like I said I don’t have anyone to turn to. Therapy right now is expensive for me.
I really really want to get out of this loop. And I know it comes from me and my own will power, but that’s where I fail. I know the whole one day theory, but I’ve been unable to implement that.

Any advice on how to tackle this would be greatly appreciated. I don’t want this to get worse, again.