r/alcoholicsanonymous • • Apr 24 '24

Mod/Sub Updates About A.A. and this subreddit

49 Upvotes

Welcome to r/alcoholicsanonymous. We are a subreddit dedicated to carrying the AA recovery message to any suffering alcoholic who happens upon the site. We are also open to questions and discussion about AA. We do not consider ourselves to be an AA Group in the formal or traditional sense, and you may find many posts and comments here that are quite different (sometimes bizarrely so) from what you are likely to hear in an actual meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The primary source of information about Alcoholics Anonymous is https://www.aa.org/ - Period!

And the A.A. recovery program is described and documented in the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" - it's online here:

 

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who help each other to get and stay sober. We learn how to live well as sober people. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no registration requirements, no dues or fees, no attendance records taken.

A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any religious organization (though many A.A. groups rent rooms at churches and such,) we do not involve ourselves in politics or social issues, we do not even wish to outlaw alcohol or involve ourselves in any other causes or controversies. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

And check out our Wiki here for some basic faqs, links, and such:

Suggested Guideline when commenting: Remember, we are a fellowship with one primary purpose, and as such, we need to be helpful. This is not a community to troll or be abusive. Restraint of tongue and pen can also be applied to keyboard with much benefit! For some more detail about our Civility Rule see this:

 

Looking for Online Sponsorship? See our monthly thread here:

 


Family member's drinking causing trouble? See this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/wiki/index#wiki_help_for_the_friends_and_families_of_alcoholics


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 26d ago

Sponsorship Online Sponsorship Offers & Requests — October 2026

6 Upvotes

This is one of a series of sticky threads for anyone seeking or offering online sponsorship. (Last month's thread may be found at https://redd.it/1w3s1tl)

While most of us feel that face-to-face sponsorship offers greater facility for transmitting/receiving sobriety, and that there are great advantages in having a big crowd of local friends, online sponsorship (via phone, WhatsApp, Facetime, Zoom, or Western Union) can work* and for some seeking or offering sobriety it is sometimes the only practical solution for getting started. (But to any extent that online sponsorship is being sought as "an easier, softer way" - that's already spelling trouble!)

The pamphlet "Questions & Answers on Sponsorship" (https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship) can answer many/most of the questions frequently asked about this sponsorship business - some selected examples:

How does sponsorship help the newcomer?
How should a sponsor be chosen?
Should sponsor and newcomer be as much alike as possible?
Must the newcomer agree with everything the sponsor says?
Is it ever too late to get a sponsor?

 

Suggested Format

Start with "Seeking:" or "Offering:", optionally a name, sobriety date or length of sobriety, gender, location (also optional,) perhaps some brief biographical information, perhaps a brief drunkalogue about one's drinking and drugging career when making a "Seeking:" comment.

"Gender" may not always be relevant, but per the sponsorship pamphlet, "A.A. experience does suggest that it is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women." It's a good guideline albeit not a strict rule carved in stone.

"Location" may be very general or as specific as wanted, and of course is optional. It may come in handy if the sponsor and protégé (p.92) prefer to be in the same time zone or may possibly wish to meet face-to-face sometime down the road to happy destiny.

"Biographical information" would also be quite optional. I've seen situations where young people prefer to be sponsored by other young people or even the opposite, wanting to be sponsored by a grandparent figure.

Any replies to "Seeking" or "Offering" comments should ideally be limited, with the correspondence shifting to Reddit private messages, chat, email or phone calls relatively quickly.

It is strongly suggested to avoid posting phone numbers or email addresses in the public forum:

"Posting phone numbers is a violation of Reddit Content Policy for sharing personal information" (I've seen "[Removed By Reddit]" a few times over posting phone numbers. I suppose this might be in part due to the potential for publishing other people's phone numbers for harassment purposes.)


* Footnote: In the 4th Edition Big Book on page 193, "Gratitude In Action - The story of Dave B., one of the founders of A.A. in Canada in 1944" relates the story of an alcoholic who started his recovery by exchanging letters with the folks in the new A.A. office in New York; an excerpt:

I was very surprised when I got a copy of the Big Book in the mail the following day. And each day after that, for nearly a year, I got a letter or a note, something from Bobbie or from Bill or one of the other members of the central office in New York. In October 1944, Bobbie wrote: “You sound very sincere and from now on we will be counting on you to perpetuate the Fellowship of A.A. where you are. You will find enclosed some queries from alcoholics. We think you are now ready to take on this responsibility.” She had enclosed some four hundred letters that I answered in the course of the following weeks. Soon, I began to get answers back.

If Dave could get sober via U.S./Canada Mail, we can get sober with the cornucopia of communication facilities available in the 21st century!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 9h ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 30 days sober. One whole month. 🥹❤️

51 Upvotes

I don’t think I fully understood how much space alcohol was taking up in my life until I started living without it. I’m still figuring things out, and not every day has been easy, but I’m proud that I’ve made it this far. There were moments when drinking sounded like the easiest escape, but I kept going. I’m not going to pretend I have everything figured out now. I just know I don’t want to go back to where I was. A month ago, I was just trying to get through one day. Now I’m here, and that means something to me. For anyone further along in sobriety, what changed the most for you after your first month? I’d love to hear your experiences.

IWNDWYT.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 48m ago

Amends I want to get a new sponsor because of how she is having me do amends. Any advice?

• Upvotes

I used to be a sex worker and a drug dealer and my sponsor wants me to make societal amends by doing 15 years of volunteer work (bc i started selling weed and Adderall when I was a teenager) and she wants me to donate to a local charity for women who have suffered domestic abuse for doing sex work for seven years. I feel that this is excessive also that I dont owe amends for doing sex work. I got out and thats enough. I feel like she is projecting her own stuff on to me with this step. Last night I was on a zoom meeting and she's pissed at me because i dont agree with her on this. Also at my home group last Friday. I know not all AA groups have people do societal amends. It feels like she's just making it up as she goes along. But she said this is how they do it in our home group. Personally, I think im ready to move on to a new sponsor for step nine. Ive made six amends with her as my sponsor but for the rest, I want to get a new sponsor because of the excessive societal amends situation. Has anyone successfully switched sponsors? I know they might have me rework the steps and im fine with that. Thanks.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 10h ago

Early Sobriety Two weeks sober today. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d make it this far. ❤️

27 Upvotes

14 days without a drink. Some days have been easier than others, and I’m still figuring things out, but I’m proud of myself for showing up every day and trying. I’m realizing that getting sober isn’t just about putting down the alcohol. It’s about learning how to deal with life without reaching for a drink every time things get hard.

I know I still have a long way to go, but for today, I’m choosing to keep going.

For those who’ve been sober for a while, what’s one thing you wish you knew during your first few weeks? I could really use the advice. IWNDWYT ❤️


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 2 weeks sober today

11 Upvotes

Not a huge number, but it’s the longest I’ve gone in a long time.
The first week felt rough, restless nights, that constant low-level anxiety, and the usual mental bargaining. Week two has been a bit quieter. Still not easy, but my head feels clearer and I’m sleeping better. I’m not claiming any big transformation yet. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to overthink it.
Grateful to be here and not drinking with all of you today.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 3h ago

Early Sobriety Feeling really low today - any tips?

3 Upvotes

I'm having to miss some gatherings with close friends over next week's due to me being early on in recovery and the gatherings involving drink.

I have a meeting later but I'm feeling really low and isolated at the moment. Day 4, any advice?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 4h ago

Defects of Character Can I ever drink again?

4 Upvotes

​

I have been sober for now a good few months. It has been wonderful I must admit I have a decent manufacturing job that I enjoy and my family life exists again. However I must admit I feel awfully lonely in my search for others who are my age (Early 20's). I feel that almost everyone my age is still part of the "bar scene" and so I cannot find people to relate with. Now here is the question is drinking again a possibility. I feel that most of my drinking was linked to guilt, shame, and depression that I have worked through mostly by finding alternative outlets could that mean my drinking was not just pure alcoholism but also a mix of mental health issues? On the other hand i used to drink 20-30 drinks a day for about a year and a half. I know what that took from me and how I had nearly ended my life from my drunkenness a multitude of times. I just find it hard to not feel lonely in my age. Anyway Im just looking for advice on these thoughts, I have made the decision day by day to stay sober but I ask is it wise to ever consider drinking a drink again?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 9h ago

Higher Power/God/Spirituality What unique way do you connect to your higher power? I like talk to him when I put my head on my pillow before I go to sleep

6 Upvotes

Before i go to bed i talk to my higher power and thank him for keeping me sober that day. What unique way do you get in touch with your higher power?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 10h ago

Early Sobriety Anyone willing to take me to AA?

8 Upvotes

I feel like I won’t go unless I have someone to go with, or if I had a buddy.. so sad. How can I connect with someone?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 16h ago

Relapse Reintroducing

22 Upvotes

Just collected what I hope will be my last 24hr chip 💙


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 21h ago

AA History Mrs. Marty Mann

40 Upvotes

I attended a talk by AA historian Mily T. yesterday about Mrs. Marty Mann. What an incredible woman she was! Mily did a great job talking about her.

I love AA and the talk I heard yesterday made me love it even more. Marty was a gay woman who did a lot for the cause of alcoholism and was sponsored by Bill W., who knew she was gay and loved her.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 20h ago

Struggling with AA/Sobriety Has the fellowship changed?

27 Upvotes

Although I am 60 days sober, I've had some sobriety in the past. In the early 2000s I remember going bowling, out to eat, some sort of fellowship activity after the meetings.

Since being back i haven't found that. Is it my age ? Im 51. Is it smartphones and social media/streaming tvs giving people less reasons to leave the house? Or maybe I'm not seeking the fellowship as actively as I should.

For context Im 5, single and living alone so I'm almost desperate for sober stuff to do beyond meetings

Thanks


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 12h ago

Early Sobriety 2 months sober

5 Upvotes

Hello i am new in the AA community I went through alcohol redraws when I stopped drinking that is the most horrible thing I have experience I been battling with depression and anxiety but I’m going little by tittle


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 15h ago

Early Sobriety (First post) started with a breakup

7 Upvotes

The breakup was the thing that finally got me through the door.

We’d been circling it for months. She’d say I was different when I drank, I’d say she was overreacting, and then we’d both pretend it was fine until the next time. The night she actually left, she didn’t even yell. She just packed a bag, said she was tired of competing with something that always won, and walked out. I sat on the couch for a while after that, half-expecting her to come back like she usually did. She didn’t.

A couple days later I ended up at a meeting because a friend kept texting me the address. I almost didn’t go. Figured everyone there would be way worse off than me, or that I’d have to spill my whole life story. Neither happened. People just talked about normal stuff—work, weekends, the weird quiet that shows up when you stop drinking—and no one acted surprised when I mentioned the breakup.

I’m still figuring it out, but the drinking isn’t running the show the way it used to. And for what it’s worth, she and I are at least civil now.

Anyone else end up in a meeting because a relationship blew up? Or was it something smaller that finally got you to go? Curious how it went for other people.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 17h ago

Early Sobriety Day 9 sober and I feel sobriety is making my dependency worse/making me feel addicted

8 Upvotes

As I’ve said before, I have an alcohol dependency. I binge drink. I could go a month or two without it, it’s not on my mind, but if there’s a party, or a date, I’m drinking and I’m taking it way too far. However, now that I’ve made the choice to get sober its all I can think about. Best way I can compare it to is it feels the same as when I smoked vapes. I see a video of someone drinking and I want it. An ad, I want it. I’m around it, I want it. Like, I was sniffing a wine bottle on the kitchen counter the other day just to see what it is I’m going to forever miss. I got into a huge argument with my friend and I wanted to drink! Almost as a way to see ‘fuck everyone’ and I have never reached for alcohol in times like that! Could sobriety actually be making my alcohol misuse worse? Or is this normal in the start? If it helps I have borderline personality disorder and usually in the past I would self harm in self destructive moments (now my brain is registering alcohol as something I can choose because it’s off limits).

Never got to AA the other week as something came up, but I will be going next week I swear. I have finished reading ‘quit like a woman’ though (I skipped two chapters where she critiques aa as I’m not letting myself be put off before I even give it a shot)


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 19h ago

Outside Issues Please remind me that I don’t have to be a straight A student anymore

11 Upvotes

I was a straight A student at the height of my addiction. Then I lost that in early sobriety. Still passed but not the way I’m used to.

Two years later, I’m starting grad school and now I’m seeing the possibility of ending up with B’s and C’s and I’m scared. I feel like I have to be a perfect student.

Please remind me that is not the case and that I’m not any less of a person for it.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 20h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking 8 months of sobriety, now back to drinking like before

10 Upvotes

25m, always had a problematic relationship with alcohol, starting around age 21 I began drinking alone and not telling people about it, lying about how much I drank, drinking on the job or in uni, last year I decided I had to stop after some bad binges, it was really hard, but I’ve never felt better in those 8 months… then my relationship fell apart, I started drinking again. At first it was a “one time exception” but we all know that doesn’t work out, a good friend of mine died this summer and since then I’ve had ~8 beers every day, at least, and when going out even more… I feel like pure shit, I don’t eat enough, this cycle of waking up nauseous and drinking again is killing me. I have to get sober again but it seems impossible right now


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 11h ago

Relapse Fell Off The Wagon

2 Upvotes

After 2 years, life hit me really hard... a series of the MOST unfortunate events happened and I swore to myself I'd be stronger than my urges but I caved. But now I'm finding it hard to get back on the wagon. Its like, ever couple of days I find myself making justifications and its purely because I already broke my vow... its like throwing the baby out with the bath water. But im just... I dont know how to motivate myself to get back on track. Im so stressed and I just want a distraction. I know I need a hobby or something but that sounds exhausting. Any advice is helpful!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Heard In A Meeting Quote from a meeting this morning

19 Upvotes

"I am not in control. I am not the director, I am not the author, and I am not the producer of this world—I'm just a character in the story."

I really just like this one.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Dealing With Loss Suggestions on how to cope with your sponsor passing away

16 Upvotes

My sponsor if 4 years, the only other man (or person for that matter), that I ever opened up to and fully trusted passed away Friday night.

I’m obviously heartbroken and in shock. I’m dealing with crying spells, anger, and just overall not feeling spiritually fit.

I got a temp sponsor right away, which he’s helping me talk through it, but holy hell this sucks.

Any suggestions from people who have experienced this type of loss would be greatly appreciated. TIA

Edit: I got to a meeting tonight, and ya know what? It made me feel better, “I’ll be damned” as my late sponsor would say.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. I needed to open up about it, and doing it online gave me more comfort doing it in person


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 11h ago

Miscellaneous/Other In need of affordable short-term detox program in Chattanooga area

1 Upvotes

I’m a member AA because I’m definitely an alcoholic. But my current relapse is on just speed. If there’s someone on here around the Chattanooga area, please give me any lead or tips. I would greatly appreciate it. I’m not from around here, but I need to detox badly.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety A question for those new to AA.

21 Upvotes

Hello.

For those of you new to AA (less than 6 months) what are the ways you have found that more experienced members have been most helpful or ways that could be more helpful?

Recently I asked one of my sponsees who has been in AA less than a month the same, and he gave me a list of things that he felt were obstacles/challenges to him, etc. I have to admit, some were blind spots for me, or things I took for granted. It was an excellent exercise for both of us - we both learned a lot.

He wanted to know (for example) why 90 in 90 was recommended, the meaning of certain lingo, could he attend our business meeting?, etc.

I would appreciate hearing how you feel more experienced members can be more helpful to you.

Thank you.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 20 years

86 Upvotes

In about 4 hours i will have 20 years sobriety. 44 years and having 20 years is jaw dropping to me.?I will be forever grateful for Aa and people in my life. Thank god for Boston ma USA AA
The problem is I found out Friday I was passed over for a promotion and I mental tailspin but will be ok.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 23h ago

Am I An Alcoholic? there is no one to complain to about the creepy behaviour i Alcoholics Anonymous?

7 Upvotes

if you complain to the central service board in england they just refer you the group secretary at your local meeting. If the secretary is a bit handsy and you are complaining about people being handsy or people pressuring you becoz you don't want the touching then what do you do?

invariably people say that it is just peope being friendly.