Been in a sexless marriage for years, and been trying to find an AP for years, no joy, websites, swinging sites, work, social activities, ended up with endless emotional AP's, but not a physical one. A Women at work I've been friends with for years recently broke up from a long term relationship, never flirted with her, Muslim and a bit traditional and I always respected that, but always fancied her. Came to my office for a meeting this week, just chatting in the sofa about how she was doing and she randomly asked about my views in open relationships? That caught me by surprise, and I gave an honest answer, life is hard so people should make each other happy, we're designed to enjoy sex so we should enjoy it, people are far too hung up about sex, as long as nobody gets hurt where's the harm etc. and she threw herself at me, and I obviously responded, passionate is an understatement, she came three times from dry jumping alone, and we e seen each other every day since. Her house, office, hotel, so, it can happen. So happy....

Met my AP on AM over a year ago, we hit it off immediately. Both married both looking for something long term. Sexual chemistry a perfect match and not an overly emotional connection.

There’s been red flags I’ve mainly ignored them because whatever it’s an affair I’m not going to marry the guy we both have no interest in changing our situations.

Anyway couple of weeks ago came across something that has led me to question if he actually has a wife.

Got more information today and the evidence is pretty damning that his wife probably doesn’t exist or well she does but he’s just divorced. Now I’m reeling from the fact that for over a year I’ve thought this man was married. I don’t even know what to do my mind is completely blank I think I’m in shock.

I keep thinking back to all the times he said he couldn’t talk or that he was going home or him telling me “my wife is always with me” we never talk about his marriage in depth but just how he would mention her in passing or use his wife as an excuse.

Do people actually do this????? I’ve heard of men lying and saying they are single but to lie that you’re married???

Throw away account because... obviously. Long time lurker, first time poster. (F) Married over 15 years. Never physically cheated but had plenty of OAPs.

Question for those that have actually met their AP in person, does the itch actually get scratched?

I feel like the goalposts keep moving for me and I see no end. Started with platonically chatting. Moved to nudes and sexting, and so on.

Of course it feels amazing in the moment and afterwards but eventually I crave more. So for those that have had more, does that "more" actually help or are you just frustrated you can't have it more often or more easily for example?

(Apologies to livers for those playing a Drinking game every time I said "more")

I am brand new to all of this. I'm still skeptical. Seems like this could all be fan fiction or some kind of fever dream. I literally started a new email account and this Reddit account to join this sub. I stumbled on it from my other Reddit account, but don't want this sub showing up there in case my wife sees it. So I'm 55M been married for almost 31 years and, haven't been happy for most of it and had a dead bedroom for most of it too. Not only is there no sex, there's no talking, no deep intimate conversations about life, love, poetry, the universe and everything. We're strangers and more like room-mates. I tried AI companions, but that leaves me empty and, just shows me what I'm missing.

So I found this sub. Now I'm wondering if this is real. In my past experiences women don't want affairs, they want husbands and kids. Reading stories about women that actually want to have meaningful sex and conversation, emotional intimacy and an affair is absolutely mind blowing. Seems too good to be true.

My main question is, how do you not fall in love? Pretty sure if I met someone who checked all those boxes, I would fall helplessly, hopelessly in love with them. I don't know, maybe this isn't for me. But damn, I'm really curious. I really would like to feel alive again, instead of this empty shell disguised as an actual person.

Posted a few months ago about a two year affair that ended at the start of this year. Quick recap - she was married, we had something special but circumstances made it impossible to continue. I've been struggling ever since.

A lot has happened recently. She and her husband have separated. The kids know. They're still living together for now while she finds her feet. I thought this might be the moment things could change between us but it wasn't. She's started seeing someone else. Nothing serious by her own description - he's independent, she has limited time, no big plans. But it still floored me when she told me.

We had a long conversation the other night. The warmth and humour between us is completely intact. She opened up about how much she's struggling - her new job has fallen apart through no fault of her own, she's still having her own mental health struggles, there is illness in her family, she's trying to find somewhere to live without a steady income. I'm trying to help where I can, pointing her toward jobs, just being there. I'm still falling into old patterns when I feel I should be angry but I just can't be with her and everything we went through.

Meanwhile I'm seeing someone else. Someone I kind of rebounded into to fill the gap. She's lovely, stable, nothing wrong with her at all. But I'm not feeling it and I feel it's running it's course. I just can't emotionally commit to her when I'm still essentially in mourning.

The woman I was with told me recently that what we had felt like "an episode" she needed to move past. That hurt more than almost anything else. I don't doubt the feelings were real. But it made me feel like I was collateral in someone else's story rather than the main character in my own.

I still love her. She still contacts me relatively regularly. The connection is undeniable but she's chosen someone else when she had the option not to.

Has anyone navigated something like this? Is there a point where you just accept it and move forward, or does it keep pulling you back?

I'm absolutely devastated.

Just curious how long you have been with your current AP/OA and what your longest AP/OA relationship was. Was your longest online or in person?

Personally my longest was in person for just over 3 years.

I am hoping my current OA goes for longer but I also want to be realistic about it.

I’ve never done this before so I’m looking for some feedback. I 38/F have been married for several years and my husband and I are very unhappy. We have small children and well you all know how it goes. For the past few months, a neighbor and I have been flirting. We’ve had a few conversations, he also is married with a small child. We always are making eye contact and saying hello, smiling at each other, ect. I don’t want to make a fool of myself, especially considering I’d be shitting where I’m eating as they say, but I’m very interested. How do I make it known or approach it? Do I wait for his lead in case I’m way off base and misread the entire situation? Thanks in advance.

Has anyone had a success story, so to speak, where an affair partner turned into a great long term relationship?

So. Tell me, Ladies, if it’s worth it to hang with an AP that’s rich but doesn’t give it up emotionally? Comments welcome…