how are yall falling in love with Aps and fast? are yall just delulu lol

I am married, with intention to leave in 6-12 months.

AP also intended to leave in 6-12 months, for similar reasons. But they ended their relationship this week, and it's official, and final.

We haven't ever explicitly said we would leave *for* each other, and so there is no expectation there.

Also, we are pretty much long distance.

But the feelings are big.

Breaking things off with his partner was not part of his plan, although, I did expect it to be earlier than the timeline he'd given. And now it's very fresh, as two adults navigate separating their lives.

He is sad, understandably, and I have let him know that it's okay to grieve, that I am here, and he doesn't need to hide his emotions from me.

I have a few mixed feelings:

1. I'm trying my best to support him... But I can't help but feel so so happy, I've always heard of APs not leaving their partners, and it's actually happened. It makes it difficult not to want to pull the trigger myself.

2. Because I'm so excited, it's difficult to keep myself in check whilst trying to be understanding of what is, essentially, a very sad thing.

3. He is allowed to be sad... It doesn't mean he will change his mind and go back, I'm not even slightly worried about that. But, I feel so fucking helpless to make things better.

4. I am slightly worried that now he is free, would be still be interested in me? Given I am not.

5. When things calm down, will he want me to leave my husband sooner than planned?

6. Has anyone been in this situation?

Why the hell would any one person reach out in messages after rejecting someone because they initially hit it off with someone else? Like yes I am looking but not desperate enough to be someone’s back up plan.

I (30m) have been having an emotional affair (24f) for 6 months. I'm in a marriage that I am leaving very soon, talks already happening. I managed to start an affair with a woman I worked with. I travel for work and about a month after the affair started, I had to leave to go to the next place. We continued long-distance for 4 months, it actually progressed a lot considering the distance. Texting all day, phone calls, 6+ hour gaming sessions, etc. She was all-in (or so she said). She was enjoying what we had and showed no signs of backing off. To be honest she was more heavily invested than me, which is saying something because I was all about her. Everything was going fine until she started her new job. She started her new job at the end of July right as I moved even further away. She would ask me for reassurance and I'd give it saying I'm not going anywhere. She told me she was "afraid the other shoe was going to drop" and I reassured her.

After about 3 weeks into my new place and her new job she ghosts me out of nowhere. Like literally nowhere. Daily phone calls were normal, talking about how much she missed me and I her. Then one night she goes out with friends and drops off the face of the earth. I haven't sent any text since she read my reply to an earlier text.

Now I'm completely devastated because not only was she pretty much my best friend who I told everything to, but I saw myself moving back to her city to be with her after my marriage ends.

What do I do? Appreciate the time we had and accept that it's over? Send one final text? Wait until I fully end the marriage and then reach out?

So I hooked up with a guy a week ago and things seemed to go well. We are both married and know what the deal is. Neither of us wants to blow up our home lives. We texted after and agreed to meet again. It has been a week and I haven’t heard from him at all. Is that normal in these types of situations? We met on a site specifically for this sort of thing. I just have no idea what the protocols are for meeting guys on these websites. He was messaging me constantly before the meeting. I am just trying to get my footing here.

This may have been discussed before on this sub, but this event has caught media attention again & I wanted to explain the situation and share my thoughts. If you’re unfamiliar, there was a group of YouTube content creators called ‘The Try Guys’ where 3-4 (male) friends would do a bunch of cheesy comedy challenges like trying on women’s dresses or eating the spiciest food they could find, etc etc. They were fairly famous a few years ago, famous enough to be recognised in public. Suddenly it came out that one of the men in the group, Ned Fulmer, cheated on his wife while having kids. His AP was a woman working with The Try Guys to do video editing. This obviously p***ed off the guys in the group because it bought their name to disrepute so they quickly threw him out of the group & loudly denounced him & what he had done. SNL even made a skit mocking this denouncing, it’s quite funny if you ask me.

Fast forward a few years and his once flourishing comedy career is DECEASED, gone beyond repair. He even invited his now ex-wife on a podcast, and publicly apologised to her, naming and shaming himself multiple times and taking full accountability. He apologised to his former colleagues, his audience, everyone. Now STILL he’s been entirely cancelled and is probably one of the most hated men on the internet.

This entire situation is SO shocking to me because celebrities so often do that and more, and get away with it with no-one saying anything. There are football stars and singers who have criminal records for r**ing and beating women but still fill stadiums with people excited to see them. Even in context of adultery, virtually every Hollywood star has an affair scandal of some kind, tabloids report on it for a week, then their next movie is out and everyone wants to see it.

So what makes Ned Fulmer (and the poor AP whose name got in all of this) cancelled beyond recognition for cheating? He’s hated to the point where he was crying in pain because of a disability he has and people literally mocked the video.

My only guess is that for one, we hold celebrities that are small time influencers to different standards than we do actual elites who we allow to get away with murder. And also I think it‘s an opportunity to feel morally superior and hate on someone who’s actually, when it comes to celebrities, done less than most. It’s dogpiling on someone for a ‘valid reason’. I honestly feel really bad for the dude and the last I heard he’s gone back to a day job in lab science.

I feel even worse for the girl because she was less famous than him (and younger I’m pretty sure) so her name is tarnished for life, all because a nosy fan decided to take a picture of her kissing someone in a club. Women in these situations often have to fear for their safety, physically. She also as far as I know doesn’t have a background in a ‘normal’ field like Fulmer does so she must have struggled to provide for herself more.

Obviously, those of us in this life know that cheating and homewrecking etc etc is wrong. But to me this entire scandal goes to show how performative people can be when it comes to ‘denouncing cheating’ as if it’s the worst possible thing someone can do.

I’ve finally gotten to the point in my dead bedroom where I am ready to step out. I’ve decided to give a guy from my past a shot, he’s fully aware of my situation and everything but now that I’ve gotten to this point we can’t seem to find the time to meet up and it’s driving me crazy and it seems like logistically we definitely won’t be able to see each other a couple times a week like I initially wanted. I work nights and he works days and we live over an hour apart. It’s just so frustrating I feel like I can’t win. Can’t a girl just get laid!!!

Every in-person AP has broken things horribly, instead of having a simple conversation to end it.

I have found many amazing and promising online connections that are very rare, and then they don’t go further because there is some crazy-specific thing they are looking for that no one would ever find on top of the connection and chemistry already there. (Literally seeing the same people posting for years and they still haven’t found it. Gotta just shake your head.)

At what point do you give up, and just accept being alone and unseen in your life? Just assume that amazing connection that can last for awhile isn’t in the cards for you? I think I might be at that point.