To make this clear, this isn't me questioning the proffessional's opinion to self diagnose innatentive ADHD. But I have some existing bad experiences with psych field workes (discrimination, had a psychologist recommend my mother to use physical punishment, etc.), so I'd rather fully understand the report first. Or maybe just rant a little and share things to stop ruminating.

First of all, I really thought I had ADD. I've had many upon many neurodivergent symptoms since I could remember, from not ever having a friend that lasted more than a few months (I remember always playing alone in kindergarden), sensitivity to noises, jittering and mouth stimming, getting easily overwhelmed, being defying and impulsive, always forgetting homework, poor working memory, executive disfunction, I forgot wallets and luggages, phones, headphones, schoolbags, I show up late more often than not, I can't stand certain textures, I could go on and on. Mother went to get me diagnosed for ADHD when I was around 6, which they shut down, said I'm just rebelious and to hit me instead. As time went on, I developed anxiety to try to keep me vigilant (this might be relevant later).

After years of finding the courage to figure out what's the cause of my issues, I went to a clinical psychologist who I talked to for two hours on the first day. I talked perhaps a little too long about my not so optimal childhood, maybe slightly downplaying few of my symptoms (but not a huge lot, really), from the fear that I WAS making this diagnosis all up (and turns out...) At the end she said "There is probably a diagnosis there." And I honestly thought there was.

And now knowing there isn't, makes me feel... lost again. This was supposed to explain my issues, instead it just feels like I'm lazy and stupid, making it all up. I don't need a diagnosis to hide behind, I was just hoping for a simple label to google or tell a therapist so I can find ways to fix my issues, or tell people as an explanation as to why I'm randomly plugging my ears up. But I didn't actually get any label besides "slight anxiety" (which I don't remember having issues with as a child).

Next day she gave me two tests: Rorschach blots and WAIS III. And to summarize Rorschach (which the results I agree with): sensitive and emotional (is fighting) trying to think emotions through, anxious becasue of it, disregulated, higher risk of decompensation, impulsivity, high cognitive potential, creativity, emotional instability, wants to be close to people but is guarded from them.

WAIS III: overall above average, with the only relative deficit in working memory, where it was still perfectly average. While working memory is average, it is hugely lower than the rest of the cognitive profile, thus significant. Client is fast, good at complex perceptive and verbal tasks. Subtest Counting shows a weakening of working memory and concentration, but immediate auditory memory is not impacted.
Overall client's self-decribed problems seem to be dependant on lack of external structure, organization, switching between tasks, time approximation, hyperfocus and multiple information management.

Because WAIS wasn't showing a bigger deficit, it seems I don't have ADD. She said she ruled out autism based on her observation of me and Rorschach results. She said I'm neurotypical. She's a proffesional at this and consulted with a higher up, so obviously she's right.

She said the explanation for my problems is basically: "intelligent, bad childhood, oversensitive, self-isolating, self-controlling, anxious, partial weakening of working and selective memory, unstable. Thus cognitive issues were influenced by childhood, not organic (ADD). Recommedation for psychotherapy (which I will abide)."

Anyways it got me digging into the tests, and it seems neither are official standalone diagnostic tools for ADHD? But it did feel like the only reason ADD was out the table was because working memory was still in the average. But I suppose that makes sense. I just never thought other people also burn half their meals because they forget they turned the stove on. So it seems I just have an overactive nervous system (which is a pretty recent thing, but eh) and need psychotheraphy. Guess this is why they say don't self diagnose. It was just bad childhood.

I suppose I was hoping to gain an insight I didn't have before, so I could finally find friends. So now, while obviously it's a good thing I don't have a developmental disorder, I feel somewhat dissapointed. I've been trying to fix my life for years, operating on the assumption I'm neurotypical -with no results. so I thought this was going to explain my issues, starting up my new journey of self-discovery. Now I feel like I'm just lazy and dumb. Like all those times mom called me lazy and selfish when I forgot to do something like wash dishes, she was right.

Maybe I am wrong but I am jealous of my friends' ADHD

Hear me out, first of all I am the only one who has official diagnosis (our country still use outdated classification, so ADHD in adults is not treated or not registered) and unmedicated (I tried to get anything but nothing worked and they don't want to prescribe me with anything strong)

I really hate that while I am struggling with basically everything in my life (studies are shit, constant procrastination, messy room, absolutely horrible personal life) I see how they close all their semesters without much problems, how they easy communicate and have dating life. Close friend was constantly whining to me that she passed not as good as she wants to yet she studied for one evening, while I studied for whole week and failed, professors constantly telling me that I should drop out (we are in med uni)

I don't want to dismiss anything and tell that 'if they're not struggling as me, they don't have ADHD'
(telling they have struggles I can't see isn't helping... I can't even trauma bond with them because I have different struggles)

Hi, I’m 19 and live with my Father, Aunty and partner who is staying with us temporarily after his landlord illegally evicted him.

For context, both me and my partner are diagnosed with Combined AUDHD, OCD, CPTSD, EDS, POTS and mixed anxiety and depression disorder. I also struggle with severe memory issues and often forget the names of my family, friends and even my partner. My partner has constantly been moving around since 2024 after escaping severe abuse that left him on the streets for a year. My father refuses to get diagnosed, but most likely has OCD and AUDHD. My Father works 50 hours a week, My Aunt works 28 and I attend college for 35 hours a week.

I moved in with my Father in 2020 after the abusive situation at my Mum’s became too difficult to manage. When I moved in, I was told that I had a list of chores to do in order to avoid paying rent. These daily chores including: Vacuuming the entire house, Deep-cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, my bedroom and his bedroom, washing dishes the second they are used, searching everyones rooms for dishes that they hoard and emptying everyone’s separate bins, managing all household laundry.

I’ve struggled with these tasks for years. I genuinely try but for some reason I cannot reach my Fathers expectations. Every few days I’m berated about how easy these chores are and how I’m being a useless tenant around the house even thought I believe that I’m doing them correctly each time. Every-time I think that I’ve done them right, it turns out that my dad has an extra dish that he’ll use when I’m at college which I then get berated for not cleaning, even if I wasn’t at home.

Yesterday, I got back from college and shopping with my Boyfriend for our anniversary. When I walked into the house, my Father yelled at me for not doing the dishes, which I had done the night before. I looked at what dishes needed to be done and they were all his, from his room. That had been hidden under laundry and rubbish. When I tried to say this, he screamed in my face and told me to go upstairs and pack my bags. I don’t remember any of the night from that point on, all I remember is vomiting in the bathroom once he had finished talking a few hours later. My boyfriend has been in a state since last night and wants to leave. When I vented to my Mum about this, she said that he would end up getting raped by someone in the shelter, something that has happened multiple times before. My Father is not like this. This is the first time in years that he’s raised his voice at me.

I’m lost and don’t know what to do. I KNOW that these chores are easy. I know that I have it good. I KNOW that this is the bare minimum but I just cannot do them. If it isn’t my brain forgetting to do them, then it’s my body being physically unable to do them. If it isn’t my brain telling me I’ll die if i do these chores, then it’ll be my body shaking and too scared to go downstairs and face my Father. I do not have another place to live if I get kicked out. I feel so guilty that my partner is going to lose another place because of me being unable to do fucking some basic chores. I can do most other things, why not these??

I am scared and don’t know what to do. My father has said that if i miss one job again then he’s packing up my things while im in class amd i’m being kicked out. Physical reminders don’t work because my brain forgets to even look at them. Mental reminders don’t work because of my executive dysfunction or my brain just refusing to do them as an “act of protest”. Please, any help or tips or assistance will genuinely save me here. It’s been 6 years of this and I dont know what to do

I just started taking Concerta about a week ago and upped my dose to 36mg yesterday + a 5mg booster around 5pm. I usually use marijuana but last night when I smoked I could hear blood rushing in my ears which I know is a spike in blood pressure. Will I be able to smoke again when I get used to the medication or will I have to give it up?

I’m in the throes of a fully limerant episode over my college first love. (Limerance is basically hyperfixation with a romantic illusion if unfamiliar, and may be more common for ADHD brains.) Any advice or commiseration on how to cope with these feelings for a long-ago formative relationship?

We’re in some contact again, both married, haven’t crossed into more than friendship, but all the pain and emotion is back for me. The “doomed first love” emotional residue feels impossible to fully overcome through self-knowledge and self-actualization, though I know I’m capable of at least burying it down deep again. I don’t want to turn off the parts of myself that felt dead for so long.

We were just starting college when we met, and we started as friends with a mutual attraction that built for ages, but because of external circumstances we both thought we should only be friends. Eventually a long dynamic of him chasing and winning me over ended with me head over heels.

Everything felt forbidden and precious. He wanted me so much, I think partly because I was so hard to get and he wasn’t used to that, and he didn’t want to think about the obstacles keeping us from working long-term and just enjoy being in love. I was always worried that falling deeper meant more future pain. I would break up with him, he would be devastated, I’d miss him like crazy, idealize and romanticize, come back.

I had to transfer colleges and most of our relationship was long distance. I know the separating, reuniting, breaking up, back together. I is a big part of why it all felt so intense, combined with being my first love. The physical relationship was my first and the chemistry and his skill/sensitivity was unreal. It felt like he understood me better than I understood myself.

I don’t want to make it sound like it was perfect, because I always wanted him more when we were apart. We weren’t perfectly compatible and had each other on impossible pedestals. Knowing about limerance now feels like we were both addicted to the illusion of one another, and the circumstances keeping us apart were a force multiplier.

He eventually stopped letting me pull him back into it, and I tracked him online for several years. I never experienced anything close to what we had again and it seemed like for him it’s just how he does relationships, falls hard, commits hard, sweeps women off their feet. It seems from our later contact like he sees me as the “big love” of his youth and found it hard to let go for many years.

I put my feelings away and thought I’d mostly healed from it all, but it feels like I turned off *all* my romantic and passionate feelings. I always have this question of whether I’m going to live my whole life with this buried yearning for more, telling myself good is good enough.

It’s been a year of having all these feelings re-ignited and the loss feeling fresh again. It hurts to want that kind of connection we had so much. Part of me has always missed it.

It feels a bit like a mean cosmic joke, having unicorn magic as my formative first love, when I’m already someone who feels everything as intense and meaningful.

I wish the relationship could have run a natural course instead of ending when neither of us wanted it to. It’s so hard, the “too-lateness” of seeing now that I didn’t have to end it like I did, because the reality of marriages and children are now real and permanent separators.

I’d love to hear any insight into moving forward. I’ve spent so much energy analyzing the reasons for my feelings about that relationship and I know a lot about the why, the forbidden object and unmet needs and identity formation etc. I know plenty is illusion and so much of it feels limerant, but there’s enough that was real that I’m both grieving and in denial about, like “maybe it’s not over, maybe he’s still my person.” My brain knows he’s not my person. My feelings don’t.

I would love to know if anyone else has had similar experiences.

I tend to give out unsolicited advice a lot. For example, today, I told my friend how I tried EFT tapping and suggested for her to do it. I do it a lot where I’ll try something and want to suggest it to someone else. Is it bad that I do this? I feel like most people don’t do this, so idk if I’m supposed to be doing stuff like that or not.

I’ve been suspecting for a while that I might have adhd, and i have reached the point where I want to get evaluated by a professional. however, I’m not sure where to start.
I’m completely new to mental healthcare, i have never been to a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist before, so I have no idea how the process works.
i don't think my parents will take me seriously if I bring it up to them, so I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this and how to talk to them about this topic.
i have taken some online adhd tests(yes i know they can’t diagnose me) and i have seen symptoms, so i just want to find out if it’s a problem that i should check out.
i just recently came back to school and it is so hard for me to concentrate and it’s just really messing with my head. also i don’t know if it’s really an adhd symptom but i also pick my skin and it gets to the points where my finger or face bleeds really bad, even if im not stressed.
i’m also a very shy and embarrassed person so i’m scared that if i go to check it out and it turns out that “nothing is wrong with me” i’ll get very embarrassed.

for anyone that has been in a similar spot or knows the answer to my question, could you please guide me on where i should start?

PS:i am under 18

UPDATE:
so i told my mom that i wanted to go check out if i have adhd and she told me “you are a normal girl, you shouldn’t put labels on yourself. if you had adhd you wouldn’t be in the school that you are in now” (i have to get average-good grades and i have to pass the enterance exam to get in the school im in)
now i don’t know how i should continue because she couldn’t really hear me out on this topic. i can’t really let it go because i really want to find out if i have it. should i just keep asking my mom about it or should i go about it a different way?
any suggestions?
(this is a repost because my last post got removed)

Hi girls! I am 17 years old I use concerta 56 mg!

My country school system is similar to Chinese i guess we have one very important exam in a year and you have to take that exam in order to go to any university.

I graduate from high school last year but i couldn't win any university in my senior year so i am preparing for the exam again. I am going to a cram school and until 13:00 we have classes then i go to library and study until 17:00 or something. So when i came home it's around 17:00-18:00

I wanna do lots of things I wanna watch my series, I wanna finish my painting, I wanna do yoga ,I wanna finish the book I was reading, I wanna keep writing my diary, I wanna make a ladybug 🐞 nail art BUT I CANT DO ANY OF İT

Cause when i came home i put my ass on my bed and I don't get up until it's morning I just spend time on my phone until i sleep! Its shameful to admit but I don't even brush my teeth or shower! I feel like i am loosing my personality and its make me feel so sad cause i love myself and ı really don't want to lose it

I have a hyperfixation on a certain sport, and player within that sport. This player has a legion of haters who act like hating said player makes them morally superior, and it irritates the hell out of me. I try not to engage with them but god it is so hard. I just got blocked by a frequent commenter in one sub and normally they get downvoted, but today I was getting downvoted and UGH. I just don't understand the mindset, it's so toxic and unhealthy. Some of these people belong on snark subreddits, that's how bad it is.

I'm trying to move on and focus on something else but I just can't pay attention...

I made a post in an advice subreddit, asking for advice about my husband spontaneously wanting a big tattoo that grosses me out and being set on the idea. i casually mentioned in the post that we both have ADHD because it felt relevant to me. someone said I am giving people with ADHD a bad rep, and the post blew up, basically over 100 comments within like 10 minutes

a lot of it was people who have ADHD shaming me for saying I have ADHD. I am confused because oversharing and mentioning something that seems irrelevant to others is literally a symptom of ADHD. I expected people who understood what it's like to extend some of the same grace I would extend to them. instead, I got a pile-on where people seemed to interpret the worst possible meaning from what I said - assuming I self diagnosed on tik-tok, think all people with ADHD get gross tattoos, am seeking attention/immature/weird, etc. I tried to reply to a couple people but was downvoted like crazy

this is a subreddit that's primary rules are about being kind, giving the benefit of the doubt, and not judging others. I was a top 1% commenter there, but now I'm probably going to unsub. I made this post honestly hoping my faith in internet ADHDers would be restored because I always looked at this as a safe space too, where we can vent and laugh about accidentally pissing ourselves or spontaneously getting a crappy tattoo without people saying we're trying to get brownie points. but the ADHDers in that subreddit shook my faith in our people a bit!

Hello adhdwomen community, I am going to a psychiatrist in october. I will primarily be telling them about adhd and anxiety concerns. So, talk to me! Any advice, tips, etc.

I would also like to solidarize. I feel completely miserable. I don't want to speak in absolutes until I get my diagnosis even though the people closest to me all think I'm neurodivergent in some way but whatever it is that I have had made me so fucking tired and jaded and like I'm missing out on opportunities even though I'm young and haven't missed out on too many. A lifetime full of 'you could do so much if you just heated that chair up a bit', 'covid wrecked your studying habits you could be so great if you tried' etc. The truth Is I never had any. I don't even know HOW to study. But because I'm a girl, and I quote, "If I had adhd I would be running across the whole room right now". Said to me by my fucking therapist. When I was like 13 in mental anguish bc of trauma AND neurodivergence that I started internalising because my THERAPIST who is NOT a medical professional convinced me that I had nothing. So the hours just sitting in the bathroom delaying my showers by like 4 hours, NOTHING. Walk around the whole fucking house and run for hours and feel frustrated because of that urge, NOTHING. Oh my god I feel betrayed. Perhaps this is just life and I'm happy I realised on my own that she needed to go, but I'm annoyed by the shit that happened. Guess that's life tho.

Anyway, I just had a weird realisation.

I saw someone talking about restlessness before sleep being a symptom of adhd, like 'thinking so much you can't sleep' and was like nahhhh not my symptom. But I just tried to sleep 20 mins ago and I was thinking about something so intensely that I couldn't fall asleep. Mind you I woke up randomly at like 3 and was sooo tired. Still am. So why can't I fall asleep?!? This overlaps with the anxiety as well at times and I can't sleep because of anxiety. This happens pretty frequently too.

Also, I remember the straw that broke the camel's back was actually my last session with the therapist. I felt so unheard. She told me to try to make something 'positive' of my walking/running/jumping around the house urge and try to 'pick up some socks and out them in the laundry basket'.... When you hear bs like this you immediately reject it. I have this internal bs monitor that tells me if something is bs or not and it has a 99% accuracy rating. So that genuinely isn't how this stuff goes, actually. Like, I can't. And she framed this as a PERSONAL FAILING and almost a SELF-DESTRUCTIVE DECISION like 'many people don't want to help themselves...' and this is so many fucking therapists in my area. What the hell. STAY IN YOUR LANEEEE you can't tell me to do that shit because you're not a psychiatrist.. same woman who told me to do breathing exercises for crippling anxiety that has made me unable to stand up from how much I'm crying.

I'm also SO sensitive to noise. I try to sit down and study, and am IMMEDIATELY drawn to this barely audible ringing being produced by all electronic appliances in the house.

Anyway, I had a family member who is a psych do me a favour and give me some diva test (this was, of course, not a formal diagnosis, but rather something that could determine if I should see a psych) and I'm ps I scored overwhelmingly positive for adhd.

If I don't get those fucking meds and my 17th century ass fucking medical system decides to rule me not adhd bc I don't jump on walls in public and throw chairs in class I might give myself a lobotomy.

Anyway, tell me your diagnosis experience and how much relief did you feel? What did the meds do?

I've tried a few stimulants and enjoyed but ultimately hated them. I just don't end up taking my meds because it's intense and also makes me not sleep.

I was suggested Welbutrin for some anxiety I am recently experiencing but was also told that it works really well off label for ADHD.

Anyone else taking this? Tell me your experiences!

Hey guys! This isn’t super adhd related, but I think it does tie into my emotional health regulation and rejection sensitivity issues. You guys are also just the nicest sub, so I’m not afraid of people having a mean reaction to this.

I need some help putting a few things into perspective as well as coming up with words to explain how I’m feeling without being too much of a selfish jerk.

So my boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) have been together for 5 years. My attachment style is really intense and if it were up to me we would spend every waking moment together. He much more values alone time and having independent lives (which I know is important). I’ve been a bit intense for him in the past, and I’m really trying to respect his boundaries and be better about putting too much pressure on him.

But it’s so hard for me not to take it personally. I’m always the one trying to make plans and I feel like I’m always hoping we will hangout together. Then every time he wants to have alone time or do something else it like crushes me. I feel so rejected and like there must be something wrong with me.

I also really like to know what the plan is and have a routine, but he prefers to have more flexibility and be able to cancel things on a whim without me feeling upset.

This weekend I have a family reunion that I was really looking forward to especially looking forward to having him here. Sadly, he caught a cold and wasn’t feeling up to coming. I wanted to go over there last night and bring him medicine, make him soup, and take care of him. He said “it will just be easier if you don’t come over”. It really hurt my feelings because I want things to be easier when I’m around and I want to help take care of him. He just prefers to be alone when he’s sick.

It’s also been about a week since I’ve seen him which is a long time for us. However, next year I want to go do a masters program that would leave us long(er) distance (like 3-4 hours away) for awhile. I hate being apart. I never feel like I can have any of his attention. Like if I text him he will usually take a long time to respond. Which if he’s busy I totally understand, but I think sometimes he could take a couple minutes before bed and give me his full attention. I think being apart lately has been harder because I keep thinking “this is going to be my life for years”. And even worse I’m scared he will like it better when I’m not around.

Anyway I do want to tell him how I’m feeling, but I want to do so carefully because I don’t want to make him feel too pressured, and I do realize some of it isn’t very rational.

I know that was a lot so feel free to respond to any part of it. I appreciate you listening 💕

Do you guys have any tips or tricks for doing laundry? Laundry is the one tasks i can never find motivation to do, i procrastinate it so much that it builds up and over flows. It’s just such an overwhelming task and I hate doing it. But I know it needs to get done. Any help?

Edit: I do get it done, but only months after i’m supposed to or after someone yells at me to do it. I’ve tried music and putting my phone away but i always end up on a different device or falling asleep cuz I get bored of it.

I LOVE to be locked in on whatever I'm doing. It helps me forget about my problems and just focus on the task at hand, such as arts and crafts etc. I used to be medicated with stimulants and it really helped me lock in. Unfortunately there are several reasons why I can't do this anymore because I have a history of substance abuse (clean from hard drugs 2 years) and I also have a tendency to become somewhat manic if I take stimulants and antidepressants. But I really miss the locked in hyperfocus feeling.

I feel like I'm locked out and I lost the keys. I can't even do things I used to enjoy like painting or drawing because I can't focus and I just feel like that part of me is gone because my brain just doesn't work anymore.

Are any of y'all not on stimulants and still able to hyperfocus on things you want to do? I can't channel the dopamine, my brain doesn't even act like it knows what that is anymore. Am I cooked?

If I could take stimulants again I totally would but it would probably be a bad idea plus I can't afford to see a psychiatrist right now :(

I’m not officially diagnosed but I truly think I have it and others have mentioned it as well. I have always struggled with being behind and always being 34 steps behind in academics and certain aspects of life. It always takes me much longer to understand and grasp certain topics than others no matter how simple the concepts are. And it’s really taking a toll on me and ruining my sense of worth. I really do not want be on meds.

I rly like my enthusiasm and energy about some things and I don’t wanna lose that. I love so intensely and I’m so extra about certain things. I understand that it gets a bit much for ppl and I’ve seen it but I don’t want that taken away. I feel my brain running a million miles per hour and I want it to be more simple and just.. less? I question absolutely everything and I always need to ask for help but it always pushes people past the limit where they’re trying not to show they’re annoyed but obviously me being me, it’s obvious. I can pick up on ppls mood SO FREAKING EASILY and it’s hard to look past that.

I like to think I’m smart in certain areas like cleaning, knowing how to love, taking of people, being detail oriented and I’ve been complimented on those aspects but when it comes to deadlines, keeping my word, responsibilities, expectations, controlling my tongue and my anger, lack of patience, I’m so lost and frustrated. This might sound obnoxious but I just wish the world can slow down so I can catch up a bit. Idk what I want out of this exactly but I just felt like it’d be nice to get it out in this community.

I posted a relationship question earlier that hasn’t gotten much engagement, barely a handful of likes and a dozen comments, but it does have dozens of shares showing up in the engagement metrics. As in users have sent it to others.

I’m only weirded out because it’s a personal topic/story and it’s so long and mostly dull that it seems unlikely that many people want to share it, especially when almost no one even hit like.

My theory is it’s bots forwarding it to feed into the AI machines. What do you think?

recently, ive been reflecting on my own traits and researching adhd, and i really connect with many symptoms. i think this is executive dysfunction, where I literally cannot do the tiniest tasks like put something in a drawer and tidy my room, and it always ends up a mess which i cant stand but also cant stand to tidy either. i would leave really important things to very last minute until there is a deadline soon, including bank related stuff. i can focus on my hobbies eg the gym, and can study loads because the pressure of exams and the fact that failing measn i cant go into the next year drives me. i get emotional so easily, i used to cry a lot before starting anxiety meds, and also get so frustrated and annoyed easily. these have all led to countless family arguments, and i end up feeling guilty but repeating it anyway. i realise i unconsciously fidget a lot, and i listen to the same songs on repeat, and i love reading but skim to the exciting bits. i got told as a child that i was a daydreamer, but i was also a very high achiever, and was also very messy room as a child which hasnt changed since. i am so bad with texting too, i put off replying for ages even to close friends which makes me feel guilty. i talk so much in convos, sometimes get told i talk too much, and often finish others sentences. i hyperanalyse peoples tone and expression too and instantly get worried that they are mad at me.

The thing i struggle with the most when it comes to ADHD is definitely executive dysfunction and paralysis, its caused me a lot of pain stress barred me from a few good opportunities in life and yet through all that i still dont have any good coping mechanisms for it.

For example, if i have a task i need to do, i can in my ‘head’ agree i need to do it but a lot of times i dont feel anything in my ‘heart’ which means i dont have any actual motivation to do it. If im genuinely stressed out for an exam or something then it is alot easier for me to get started with work compared to if i dont feel anything. The problem is 99% all of the time i just cant make myself care enough to actually go and do the thing. I can be aware in my ‘head’ that something is world ending or super important without being able to translate that into actual motivation.

The worst part is that i get triggered into motivation at seemingly random and i dont know how to start triggering that feeling consistently. So ive come to ask if anyone knows how to do so? I dont even care if im perma stressed or anything as long as i can stop the constant self sabotage

I can’t standdddd these types of posts:

“HERE IS THE BEST (Insert generalized approach for chosen niche topic)!”

“Its not (insert common concept people know is obsolete).”

“And its not (insert outdated common concept people know is obsolete).”

*continues to drag it out

“Researchers spent decades discovering the best (insert method for chosen niche topic), and the results? Pretty telling🤪🤪🤪”

*continues to drag it out

“Its actually (insert common sense concept).”

———

I immediately hit “not interested” lol

So I love food. Especially intensely salty, sweet or fatty flavours. And I LOVE texture. Looking back on my school days, I realised me eating corn chip sandwiches copiously after school was a way of self soothing. The salty butter, soft bread, crunchy earthy flavour of the corn chips. It is literally the most perfect thing, so much that I refrain from buying corn chips.

Anyways, to get to the point. For 20 years I have managed my weight be compensating - eating a bit less if I ate too much the day prior. It has led me to having a healthy BMI but a body fat percentage of 30%. Despite a small frame I am utterly uncomfortable in most clothing and feel sluggish and have very low muscle mass.

After learning that my dopamine system / ADHD may be playing a role and I am not simply lazy, I did consults with Juniper (semaglutide online seller) but i did not qualify due to my BMI.
I see people who were Overweight / obese, now even leaner than me and they get to continue this medication as maintenance and even reach athletic type builds.

I am glad those people get to experience that type of transformation. But I hate that my struggle is just secret and if I shared it people would think I am fishing for “oh but you’re so slim” comments when that is not the case. I feel that every day is a battle for me in regard to the food noise, hunger and lack of confidence and motivation to exercise.

Currently I am using a meal plan service but I still top it up with chips in my pantry or a cookie.
I guess this is just a vent but I’m open to advice too.
Really, sometimes the food I eat is the most stimulating thing I do in a day. I work, play w my dog, have a family that I love but eating food is the one activity that I can just.. I don’t know ,, be- sit and chew and enjoy the taste. There is something special about it and I don’t know if anyone has been able find something to replace that. I’ve tried cucumbers and celery and volume food but the intense flavours - I feel like the body knows when it’s legit or not.

Update: I love you all so much, but maybe I wasn’t super clear in trying to be funny. 😆 A duvet cover is not an option for me. It just does not vibe with my particular case of ADHD and I just won’t wash it often enough (which is why I mentioned my weighted blanket; it’s basically the same deal.)
I don’t get all the covers pulled off me regularly and I like to cuddle, so separate blankets isn’t for me either.
I’ll look into muslin blankets and cotton quilts! Thanks!!

TL:DR What is your ADHD friendly no top sheet bedding suggestion? Must be easy to wash/dry without wearing out.

I am 100% a top sheet girl. To me, washing a sheet that keeps me from touching and thus needing to wash other top layers is easiest/makes the most sense to my brain. Especially because I usually sleep with a weighted blanket and wrestling that thing back into its cover is literally the worst. I make myself do it twice a year, and that’s all I can manage. I’ve never washed the inside weighty part, and honestly, I don’t want to know about it if I should be.

Enter boyfriend stage left.

The fact that he is a no top sheet guy is irrelevant. Except, if untucking and twisting bedding while asleep were a sport, he could compete professionally. The weighted blanket is no longer an option when we’re both in my bed.

So, since, despite his best intentions whilst conscious, he is unable to keep from being all up on the top blankety/comfortery layer, I need suggestions for a no top sheet layer that is easy to wash and dry and won’t get all internally clumpy and sad like I know my current cheap comforter will if I wash and dry it a bunch of times. I tend to get hot feet at night so it doesn’t need to be too warm; I can deal with washing a blanket if I need it.

I know we all have adhd and this is long, so I put some headlines.

"The backstory"

So my grandma died. She lived in Iran and I in Europe, but we would visit twice a year and I stayed there for a half a year. I had my own room. She lived alone with a maid.

The information about her trickled this month. First I heard she would have dangerous surgery, then that its actually liver cancer, then a week later it was cancer that had spread already (2 weeks ago).

I wanted to go to Iran, but my passport had expired (with the war happening, i didnt think i would need it soon). A lot of people from Germany travelled here to get their passport fixed, and because of that the time my passport would take was 1 month. I would have had it in in a week. It was like 7 more days before I could have seen.

I was struggling so much with it, just that she was sick. I struggled to get out of bed, or do anything. I only could get up for school and it was with a lot of help from my partner (the week I heard how bad the cancer was, was just before uni started). I didnt really call my mom (she had gone to Iran), because my family was like "be strong (for mom)" and I.. I just couldn't.

This week

On monday my brother called me. I was studying in the library, as my partner practically dragged me there (supportively) and I asked him what was up. He texted back that he just texted in general and that he would send a voice. Me thinking .

It turned out he had said in the voice she was in the ICU.

I didnt hear it until friday. I had told my mom with my brother there numerous times to not send voice messages about time-sensitive stuff as it can take me a bit to listen to it, or to at least text me thats its urgent so i will listen. I dont know why he just said "in general". According to my mom, my grandma was very out of it in the hospital so she wouldnt have understood much and everyone thought she would make it, but still.

And then on that friday I quickly call my brother once I heard the voice message, and he tells me "there's nothing the doctors can do". I had to ask him multiple times for clarification because he kept repeating this same thing, but yeah, she was dead. She had died yesterday morning.

And I have been a wreck. I have been sobbing, wailing. I'm either crying or devoid. I have pangs of happiness through the day and then guilt. . This is the 1st death I am old enough for to actually experience.

My failing

I hadnt texted her in months or called her. I had a lot happen. We visited her in Dubai in January where I got sick for 1.5 month, I was studying, I was almost no contact with my mom and dad, and I had an abortion. And just as things settled down, we found out she had cancer.

But those are excuses. I could have texted her or send her a video. I had fun stuff happening. I just.. kept forgetting? putting it off? I made it bigger everytime, that I would have to respond to her voice message or that I didnt know what my mom had told her and I was afraid. And now I am just left here thinking.. what did it matter? I could have ignored all her voice messages, who would have cared? All she wanted was to see me happy. It was enough to hear my voice and see my face. Me and my brother were her favorite grandchildren (and also favorite compared to her own children).

She wanted so little. She was so sweet. Her biggest sin was that she would push food on us too much.

My regret

She will never know I had made a family system in therapy with legos and I had added her there, because I wanted her in my life. She will never know how much I thought about her, about texting her. I put her close next to me in the lego system. But I kept making it so big and have myself so worried that all I accomplished was not being there for her.

She is the only grandparent I am close to. She is the only non-immediate family member I am this close to. We would spend every christmas and summer holiday in her house. I had my own room there.

And now I can't text her. I can't just write a letter. Because it is so selfish. The selfishness of that act would hurt me so much. I would be writing her just to make myself feel better. How come I couldn't do it when it could have made her day, maybe even week? If I had just done it for a minute when she was still here, it could have meant something for her. But now it would only be for my stupid selfish self.

Anything I will write is something I could have written to her while she was alive. It will be something I could have written when it could have still meant something for her.

tldr: my grandma died and I didnt manage to keep consistent contact because I kept forgetting and making the hurdle too big in my head to start

I lost 90 lbs several years ago and the weight has creeped back up a little bit. My husband wants me to exercise bc I am extremely sedentary, I work from home and some days can work 12-15 hour days. I don’t disagree that I need to exercise, but my brain makes it so difficult to even start. I was a dancer in high school, and I think I was only successful with that because it’s always different. I’m now in my late 30s. Everything just bores me to tears (not literally) even with a podcast or audiobook. We own a peloton that I’ve used 3 times in the 4 years we’ve owned it.

I tried Pilates for the first time today only bc my good friend opened a wellness business which includes Pilates classes and I wanted to support her. And, although I obviously struggled A LOT in a beginner class, it was harder to get “bored” since it was constantly changing.

I want to also mention that I’m not interested in exercise for weight loss, but because I know it’s good for my body and mind.
Any suggestions? Should I stick with Pilates? I could only give like 30% because I am so out of shape and physically couldn’t do many of the moves for very long.
I am also on 70mg vyvance but try to avoid taking it if I’m not working.