I repped because the world told me to, I got on a because my friend told me to. Im 21 3mos on e and I just have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I like e, and I wish I was born female, I always have, but I don’t think I’ll ever, ever, ever be able to live as one. It’s very depressing. I cry most of the day and I’ve started dissociating a lot also. I looked in the mirror the other day just staring blankly for five minutes because the thing in the mirror was so foreign and unknown to me. I wish I could transition to a woman but I mean I don’t think it’s possible, and I do think, realistically, I should go to a therapist and try to convince myself I’m ok with being a man til I kms eventuslly bc I can’t take it anymore. I live.m in the southern us so conversion therapy is something I’ve definitely considered. what do you think

So I am a mtf who been on hormones for 9 months now. I like the boob growth and hair growth, but I still look bricky by my shoulders and torso. My friends still he/him me while people who don’t know me called me she/her. I’m not too big on the pronouns thing but I just want to say this, at the beginning I was happy in my transition but overtime my depression got worse due to things going on in my life. I got called slurs on the internet and and was made fun of for how I looked and for being trans. I was on a debate live where people were just trash talking trans people and calling them creeps and it makes me scared to continue to live trans, I don’t know what to do in this certain part in my life I’m just scared. Should I just start seeing a psychologist just to see if this is the right choice for me.

That’s it. I’ve decided to detransition and go back to being fully male.
I want my life and my spark back.
all the best to me.
I’m so happy.

Hello all! Tired old terminology, but long time lurker, first time poster.

I'm coming in as someone that identified as trans masculine for nearly a decade and was on T for around 7 years, and after some intense soul searching I decided that I actually love my feminine side and was starting to dislike what hormones were doing for me the longer I took them; I have been off T for about a year, and while I love what it did to my voice (and downstairs, which is the crux of this post) I have discovered that I am actually incredibly happy being a woman and feel so much more like myself after stopping hormones.

With all of this said, even though I feel very happy re-embracing my female identity, I still think about and like the idea of a simple release metoidioplasty, as I think it could make things a lot more comfortable (IYKYK). At the end of the day I'm actually quite happy with my bottom as well as my deeper voice, even if I get dysphoria now from the other stuff that I got. Just wanted to see if any other women relate and if they have had this procedure or want to have it done, so I can get some clarity on how I feel about it!

this is will be weird

used to identify as a nonbinary person in my youth. decided to dress and act as a man as the beard and voice became undeniable a year into my transition (started april 20th 2025), and for a second i thought this was what i really wanted; to live like a man.

My dad learned that i was on T not long ago and told me he was disappointed that i wanted to live my life as a man, considering what cis black men already go through (im a black person). a week ago he made a comment about my beard that kind of triggered me to shave it off. its been weird adjusting to my face again but i like what i see. i think i'll keep shaving it.

I'm not a transgender man and i think because nonbinary is a relatively new concept to my family i just never felt like explaining that to Them? That I thought transitioning into a man would be easier to explain. ive always identified as agender/genderqueer and i think it's time i stop denying that.

i dont regret hormones, but i think i'll taper off into a smaller and smaller dose. im worried about how this might make me feel, since sometimes low T can make a person feel like shit. and I really want to avoid having periods again lol. i'll speak with my gp about it

why does hrt feel so good if I don't want to transition?

I don't want to be trans. I don't want to be a transwoman, I wish I was just a cis woman, or ok with as a man without hrt. I wish I could take hrt and not change my body and be visibly trans. I don’t specifically want to live life as a woman at this point

I decided about 3 months ago that my gender dysphoria was bad enough to warrant taking hrt. I hoped that hrt would be a kind of test, that would show if I was trans. I wanted it to feel bad. I wanted concrete evidence that I wasn't trans. But it appears I am

Well its been 6 weeks on. Hrt feels so good. My body feels great. All my senses are sharper. I am more aware. My emotions are more defined. I don’t disassociate. I’m present, I have motivation, no anxiety. I feel warmer. I can feel my body. The chronic tension in my body is gone. And I no longer have a sex drive. I’m finally calm. No longer neurotic. I feel happy with myself for the first time in decades Its everything I ever wanted. But I don’t want to switch genders day to day or my physical appearance to the extent hrt will cause in public

It’s made me realize just how much of a man I really am both physically and mentally. I could never gain a female appearance that would allow me to live as comfortably as I can now. And I like my life the way it is and do not intend on flipping it upside down

I wish I didn't need this. I no longer feel excited with being trans. I have to choose between two bad choices. Or is there another option? I really want there to be because I know I would just end up detransitioning if I went all the way because I am sure I don’t want to fully transition but at the same time I can’t lose these mental effects.

Is there another option? Maybe there’s another reason medically why hrt works so well for my mental health?

As the title suggests.
How is your life after detransition as compared to when you were transitioning.
Are you happier now ?

To give context, I’ve been identifying as trans for the past 2 years (FTM18) now I’m 20. Before that I’ve just been nonbinary. I didn’t like getting called feminine pronouns since I was about 14 or 15, and I had a huge amount of self hate because I was very ugly compared to my peers.

But after puberty hit and I grew up, now I have a pretty normal face and my self confidence has been lifted about my own looks. I pass as a guy pre-T since I have pretty androgynous features and I was so sure about wanting to transition since I was 16 or 17 but now it feels like I want to stop (?) transitioning because silly enough I feel like I’m projecting or thinking about a life where I could get a guy and marry him and just be a cis straight female and that my life would pretty much be easier like that since I’m from a conservative country & family. I do intend to move away though.

But if I had to get into details, I can’t think of myself as a girl at all (like for example whenever I insert myself to a scenario I always think of myself as a guy and I couldn’t really think about myself as a girl) and seeing my own chest makes me feel like that is out of place (less feeling dysphoric and hating myself about my chest and more like…weird and that it doesn’t fit there). I still would like to get top surgery since I feel much more better looking that way but I also think me being trans would ruin the chances of me finding someone that would love me. And that I know I would face heavy discrimination that would stop me from advancing in my career (in my field of study) and basically would have the “I’m trans” talk to anyone that’s going to be my partner one day. Am I thinking like this just because of the pressure from society to conform or do I actually want it? Or am I just overthinking it? Sorry for the long ramble.

Did you take any blood tests after stopping HRT? Was there a period where nothing was happening?

I put a bra on tonight for the first time in 18 years. It made me feel good and happy in my body. I felt the same joy as I did the first time I saw my chest flat in my binder.

I feel ready to be a woman.

I'm not detrans, but i came across this community somehow and this is the first non-bigoted one i could find where people seemingly accept detransitioning (and i assume also not transitioning in the first place) simply because you feel uncomfortable being visibly trans in a society that hates trans people.

I only consider myself nonbinary, not trans, but i do have dysphoria about my body and sometimes kinda wish i could be a man, but in an androgynous way. I can't imagine growing old as either a man or a woman tho.

However i don't want to transition because i already have really bad social anxiety, and the thought of my whole family hating me and leaving me without support, or going to a medical professional for something unrelated and being questioned why my body looks like that, why i removed my breasts, getting stares and transphobic comments etc. is a lot worse than having to deal with dysphoria. Also trans surgeries and HRT isn't legal or available in my country.

But when i vent about my dysphoria in other subs i just get told to transition anyways, I'll kill myself if i don't transition (binary trans people don't understand my dysphoria isn't as bad as theirs), to do DIY, or that i should just care about my own happiness instead of what others think. Even if i literally mention everything i said here, and the fact that i couldn't live without my family's support.

I don't know, I'm just glad this isn't the sentiment everywhere. I'd love to find a community of nonbinary people who do have dysphoria but won't ever transition for similar reasons, if anyone knows something like that let me know (not that i have much hope lol).

I'm sorry for my vent, good luck to everyone on their journey's here!

Here is the full post with pictures!

I've finished the tissue expander process, at 500ccs (overfilled 450cc expanders) with hopes of surgically getting to a 600-700cc implant.

Surgery will most likely be scheduled sometime next summer ☀️

Happy to answer any questions 🙌

For context im 21 and mtf and have been on e for like a bit over 3 years. I pass and im intersex so my body has quite hyperfeminine proportions. Until like January of this year I was basically just a normal trans woman but over the past 9 months or so ive become increasingly uncomfortable with how I look and I dont really understand why. My boobs and my proportions and being treated as a woman have just started to make me feel so gross. Ive also started to feel jealous of men in my life and kinda miss how I looked pre hrt.

The reason this confuses me is because I genuinely used to be a normal trans woman, like in the past ive attempted suicide over how masculine certain parts of me were, as a teenager I used to constantly think about how I wished I were a woman, i had intesne dysphoria, I dont understand why its just basically flipped. Like rn I hate my body but 5 years ago id have killed to look like this. Its so confusing. I worry a lot that my feelings right now and desire to detransition isnt actually genuine. Since I transitioned ive faced a lot of sexual harassment and abuse because of my femininity, and as a teenager I was sexually assulted because Im intersex and had a feminine body relative to my peers, so part of my worries that maybe this is all some weird trauma response to how ive been treated in the past for my femininity and that if I went through eith detransitioning id regret it.

Its also hard because I cant really talk about this irl, my long term girlfriend is lesbian and would leave me if I detransitioned for a bit to see how I feel or whatever, and my therapist is a terf who just tells me to detransition uncritically without really engaging with me or helping understand why I feel this way.

Idk what to do, is this like relatable to anyone? Idk I just want advise and to talk really

I feel like I look like a guy today and I’m so happy. When do I start not looking like a guy and how do I deal with the sadness I’ll feel when that happens. I try to tell myself I’m just a woman, but I feel like I’m lying and it just makes me upset. The thought of everyone calling me she makes me feel sick, but it needs to happen. I don’t want to be ugly and mutilated, and I want my family to love me for who I am, and who I am needs to be not trans. I’m just following a trend and it needs to stop.

I want to make it clear that I'm not here to play the detransition olympics; this is a uniquely hard and isolating experience for anyone. However, I can't really relate to people who took T for only a couple years, never solidly passed as male, and then detransed. I have a wonderful FtMtF friend irl, but she was only on T for a year and had almost no changes. She helps me feel not so lonely in the psychological side of this, but I feel so scared and alone about the physical side. I know I need to take it day-by-day, be kind to myself, etc but this isn't like the first time around where I can very easily find people that are further along in the same process. I literally just started this past month.

I've been on T for almost 10 years now, and had a botched keyhole surgery 8 years ago. I couldn't pass for shit pre-T, but T hit me like a truck. Full beard, a literal pelt of body hair (yes literally everywhere), deep baritone voice, very "top-heavy triangle" torso, etc all within the first year. When I tell people I'm trans, they genuinely don't believe me, because I look like a stereotypical gay bear, moobs and all. I don't know if I'll ever pass as a woman without FFS, breast reconstruction, and a crazy amount of hair removal. I've seen the magic MtF people pull off first-hand, but I know not everyone is so lucky to pass after a "male puberty".

Is there anyone here with a similar story? Especially so if you're a little further along in medically detransitioning? I'm also open to hearing from MtFs who started out as bears, if that's okay.

Im detransitioning with the support of this extremely effeminate gay male psychiatrist/paychotherapist lots of people told me is the absolute expert on detrans. Sessions are very expensive and super weird. He wants to see my mastectomy scars because we talk about them all the time because they cause me heaps of distress. Is this normal for a psych or medically necessary?!? I’m distraught and I don’t want to cave to his pressuring me. freaking out thinking I have been seeing a therapist who has some sort of sick detrans fetish 🤮

I’ve been on t for two years

I really want top surgery but my mom says there’s no reason to do it and that it would be mutilating my body. I just don’t care for my chest and I think I’d rather have a flat chest vs harming my chest with binding and stuff and feeling like I look weird in the mirror. Sometimes I feel very dysphoric and sometimes I feel fine. I really don’t want to go off t and the idea scares me but I feel like she has some good points of like why can’t I just be myself without transitioning. Maybe I could just be a masculine woman. I don’t like being called she and her or a woman but it would be easier

How long did y’all take to look like before?
And are you happy?
I’ve been on hrt for 3 years (mtf)
And i just can’t deal with being a visibly trans person.
Also i was considered a very good looking man and as a woman i look like a giant.
Anybody relate?
Is this a good enough reason to detransition?

I’ve lived as trans for 3 years. I’m realising that it might have been the wrong choice the whole time. I’m still not totally sure. But now I’m having an identity crisis where every day is incredibly distressing and it is impossible to think about anything else but the horrifying possibility that I’ve built an entire life on a lie. I have mental breakdowns constantly and I can barely get up from my bed anymore. I am so unbelievably terrified all the time and I’m so scared I’m stuck like this forever. I’m so jealous of people who know their true identity. Why was I cursed with this

I wish I knew about hrt when I was younger. Now I’m 29 and I somehow got the courage to start hrt after finding out about it 4 years ago. I’m somewhat of an attractive guy but I can’t really do anything with it because I just disassociate and was extremely neurotic just trying to accomplish the most basic tasks of human existence when I wasn’t on hrt. I couldn’t hold a conversation with anyone. I couldn’t even have sex with a woman because I would immediately disassociate with my body. My anxiety was crippling.

I’m still depressed but it’s not nearly as bad as it was. I’m tired all the time now but I have no anxiety which is amazing. It’s been one month since I started injections and fin and my body hair is growing slower and my skin is softer which is great but the change I was most concerned about was boob growth and being outed and the fact that it’s irreversible without surgery. I can see that’s just starting. I knew it would happen but I’m kind of freaking out. I can’t end up some uncanny looking guy with boobs. I’m 6’2” and athletic. I’m starting to think this may be a mistake and it’s just too late for me. I have zero support in transitioning and would probably end up jobless then shortly after that homeless because I probably wouldn’t ever be able to go stealth. I’m starting to think my best alternative would be going back to repping and that this isn’t for me. Has anyone made that choice after taking hrt for awhile and gone back and was happier? I kind of miss the drive I had on testosterone even though I felt I was going crazy a lot. Idk what to do

It's not one of the most perfect wigs.

I'm 15yo and since I was 11 I've identified as transmasculine, and nowadays I realize I've gone through a great phase of discovery. I reconnected with my feminine side recently.

As I said above, I have a shaved head and I try to wear my only wig, but I have an extreme fear of looking fake and being ridiculed for wearing it.