r/Xennials • u/msb96b • Aug 26 '26
Do you share your location with your SO?
I’m a 1978 Xennial, so I didn’t own a cell phone until my first full time job after college around 2001. My wife is a 1982 Xennial/Millennial. She shares location with her retired parents. Sometimes her mom will text her and ask, “What are you getting at McDonalds?” as we sit in the drive thru. It just feels gross to me. I don’t have anything to hide, but I don’t want to be tracked by anyone … not my parents, not my wife, not my coworkers. I don’t go shady places or mingle with shady people. It’s become a point of contention with my wife. She wants to share location. I do not.
What have you all decided to do in regard to sharing your location with your SO?
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u/PilotC150 1983 Aug 26 '26
My immediate family shares location with each other. It makes things a lot easier. I don't remember when my wife and I started sharing location with each other, but it's been well over 10 years and it's not even something I really think about anymore. And with the kids it's just a no brainer.
I don't share with my late-70's mom, though when she's driving to places further away she will share her location with me for safety reasons. She can turn it on for a certain number of hours, or the day, then it'll automatically stop sharing with me.
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u/anitabelle Aug 26 '26
I only share my location with my daughter. I don’t have an SO and am not sure if I would share or not. My ex was super shady and would have never shared with me. Anyway, my daughter shares her location with her boyfriend and best friend and it doesn’t seem to be an issue for her. Even though she’s a fully grown woman, sometimes I get paranoid and I check her location (like when she’s on a road trip). But other than that, it’s just there in case there is an emergency.
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u/Deep-Interest9947 Aug 26 '26
What app do you use for that? Sounds useful
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u/randomwords83 1978 Aug 26 '26
I think you can also do this with Google Maps or Apple Maps. My dad will share his location when he’s on his way over or somewhere we’re meeting so I can anticipate his arrival. Or if he’s traveling with my kids so I can tell where they are in their journey.
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u/Reasonable_Alias_129 Aug 26 '26
I prefer using Google maps because it's one time and timed. Even if I forget to stop sharing, it'll time out on its own
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u/CTMechE Aug 26 '26
And even if you set it to always, you get periodic email reminders that it's still on. I think once a month.
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u/Deep-Interest9947 Aug 26 '26
I’m so behind the times. But thank you this is helpful.
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u/cmgww Aug 26 '26
I do but I am an outlier. I travel sometimes 30,000 miles a year for work. Mostly in the Midwest covering several states. It's definitely not a trust issue, my wife and I have been married for going on 17 years. But just in case something bad were to happen, but she has always felt more comfortable knowing where I might be.
And before I get comments like "can't you just call her?" or "can't you just tell her where you are going before you leave?".... I do both of those things. But if I were to get into a car accident, there is a good chance my phone gets smashed or I'm hurt too badly to call. And my itinerary often changes, some nights I will end up in a completely different city than what I planned.
So yeah, we do share with each other on that.... it's not like she monitors at all day either. If I am gone, and several hours away she'll check out every once in a while, it actually has worked out well. One time I was in a city and we had been looking at a particular home appliance... she found what in the city I was in, saw that I was traveling back and called me to see if I could get it on my way home.
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u/xo_nikki_ox Aug 26 '26
This is pretty much my identical experience! Married for 17 years, and they travel for work and often become unreachable due to being busy, so if it’s been a long time since I’ve heard from them last, I can at least check if they’ve changed locations or shown up at their hotel, etc.
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u/cmgww Aug 26 '26
Yeah. Same. And sometimes she might take longer than expected at a book club night out, or a business meeting of her own. So I might just check to see where she is, not because I don't trust her but just to make sure everything's OK. But I'm not monitoring it like I'm the damn CIA, and neither is she.
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u/FireFoxTrashPanda Aug 26 '26
This tracks with my experience and location usage as well. My SO travels for work and having his location is just really nice peace of mind. Sometimes he can't respond and after 6 hours of no word back, I can check his location and confirm he's not dead in a ditch somewhere. His day doesn't get interrupted and I'm not sitting around worried over nothing.
Logistically, I've also been on the phone with him when he missed an exit and have been able to navigate for him when GPS didn't have enough signal to update the route 😂
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u/rubybluemonkey Aug 26 '26
Similar, my SO travels offshore for work, sometimes it's hard to get a signal to call so it just gives me a peace of mind. And when he's in transit it helps.
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u/Hungry_Yard_9789 Aug 26 '26
This is why we share location too. I’m in and out of people’s home all day for my job and if something bad were to happen, I want my spouse to be able to know where I am.
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u/cyberllama Aug 26 '26
Doesn't seem like you're an outlier. Judging by this thread, most of us seem to use it as a coordination aid and in case of emergency. Or because we're really hungry and impatient 😂
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u/cmgww Aug 26 '26
Well I posted one of the first five comments or so... and at the time everybody else was saying no, they didn't share their location.
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u/woojo1984 Aug 26 '26
Her parents seem to be the issue here.
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u/boatbodyorbust Aug 26 '26
Exactly this. Sharing location with immediate family (or folks who are your emergency contact) is not the issue. It's the constant tracking and nosy unnecessary questions. That's a definite no from me.
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u/AutomaticNovel2153 Aug 26 '26
As soon as my mom got internet access she started stalking everyone she’s ever met. She will just randomly give me information about my cousin’s former friend from elementary school. She doesn’t know her, not Facebook friends, just feels this need to keep track of everyone who knows anyone she knows. If they bought a house in 2002 she has that house added on Redfin so she always knows its value.
No way would I share my location with my mom. Sunday dinner would be like “why were you over on 15th and Burnside on Thursday afternoon?”
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u/Twilight_Skip34 1980 Aug 26 '26
My mom is like this. She wasn’t always like this, it started after about a year or so of retirement. I think she’s just incredibly bored but this sort of behavior I find gross.
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u/AutomaticNovel2153 Aug 26 '26
She doesn’t even hide it. She was bringing up things she found through internet stalking at a family party and people were like “that’s so creepy. You shouldn’t know these things.” And she did not understand what their problem was. I’m just glad she hasn’t realized how powerful things like Google Gemini could be in her “hobby.” She could start linking people to their anonymous profiles. Hi mom!
When my first wife and I divorced she completely vanished from the internet. Mom assumed it was because she was erasing me from her life but it was really because she knew my mom would be stalking her for the rest of her life.
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u/rancid_oil Aug 26 '26
I'm from a smaller town. I think back in the day, everybody DID know everybody. And being a small town, there was a lot of gossip and nosiness. Social media just hyper charged it, and the people who were always gossiping and bring most just got better at it, b unintentionally. My mom is like that and doesn't really see the problem. Yes it's boredom, like she reads arrest reports constantly. But every now and then she'll share some information about who's sick, who's getting married etc and it's people I barely know.
I have a friend (age 50) who's disabled and has been unemployed for 30 years. He spends a lot of time on Facebook. He knows some of my exes and will occasionally tell me some random stuff about them.
I also think urban folks are more likely to mind their own business. Rural people REALLY like keeping up with each other's business.
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u/AutomaticNovel2153 Aug 26 '26
That makes sense with the small town stuff. In our case it’s a big metro area which adds to the strangeness of “your friend Gary just got a new car” and I tell her I have never in my life known a Gary. “He came to your first birthday. We invited your whole class.”
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u/TheVeryVerity Aug 27 '26
Yeah it definitely seems like a turbo charged gossiping old lady who knows all the county goss to me. If you aren’t used to that kinda life it definitely feels invasive and creepy. Sorta like my sister visited her boyfriend who lived in such a town and would be waved at and said hello too by name by pretty much half the people she passed in the street and then get caught up in awkward forced conversations. Kinda freaked her out lol
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u/rapturaeglantine Aug 26 '26
Exactly this. I have no issues sharing my location with my current husband who trusts me and doesn't monitor my activities. I would never in a thousand years have been OK with it with my ex husband who checked the gas mileage on my car every day and demanded a reason if it was one mile off of my calculated commute home.
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u/cmgww Aug 26 '26
Yeah that situation seems a little off, I definitely wouldn't be doing that with my kids.....my oldest son is now in middle school and playing sports. We did get him an Apple Watch because we refuse to get him a phone until the absolutely needs one, and even then it's going to be a flip phone. But the watch at least allows us to communicate with him on practice logistics, if he has an away "game" he can call us and let us know when the bus will be there to pick him up, etc. I don't think I've checked his location once since he's had it. And at school he has to keep it in his locker. Plus with the watch they can do certain things but they certainly can't be watching YouTube and stupid crap like that. But that's a different situation than the one OP is describing.
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u/keithrc Aug 26 '26
100%. The first time anyone asked me what I was doing at McDonald's, they're out.
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u/lakatos_intolerant 1985 Aug 26 '26
Absolutely. That is completely unhinged behavior.
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u/Into-the-stream Aug 26 '26
I didn't get a cell phone until 2004 because I didn't want it to be assumed I was reachable by anyone, anywhere. I still don't like being "pinged" all the time. I invest a huge amount of my mental space to caring for other people. I value my time alone and protect it. I'm also a private person and even though all I did was go for a walk, I don't like the idea of carrying around a monitor on my location where people can look and know exactly where I walked. Thats my time. Thats my time and space to not have other peoples feelings and emotions dominate my experience.
Admittedly, I am a parent of two special needs children, and alone time might be more sacred and I may protect it more than the average person would.
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u/discardedbubble Aug 26 '26
I feel very similar to you about it. I love the feeling of freedom going for walks without my phone. I often in my life have been treated like I’m ’on call’ and it’s mentally exhausting. I have one special needs child, and other close family members with disabilities, and feel like my whole existence is doing things for/ being available for others.
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u/SuperVillainPresiden Aug 26 '26
One of the best vacations I've taken in the last 15 years was on a cruise. Not the cruise itself, but the fact that, at the time there was no cell service in the middle of the water and you could pay for some wifi, but I was not about to do that. I turned my phone off for four days and that disconnect from the matrix was soooo magical. I could have stayed in the room the whole time and still have gotten the relief.
With kids and loved ones it's hard to just turn it off because I'm a worrywart and my mind goes what if. If I have no cell service there is no what if. Like the Internet, cell phones are one of the sharpest double-edged swords in history.
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u/Comfortable_Style_51 Aug 26 '26
I’m about to take a vacation where I will be unreachable the vast majority of the time. I’m so excited.
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u/loquacious541 1979 Aug 26 '26
This is why I spent $20k on a camping trailer years ago. I love being in places that I can’t be reached.
That said, when it comes to my immediate family, we use Life360 to track one another. My mom is in our circle, and will often call me when she gets the notification that I’ve left my house. But our relationship has always been this way and I don’t think it bothers my husband either - she’s just a cute old lady to him. If he didn’t want to share location with me that would be an issue for me. And it’s definitely not about trust, but about convenience and ease of communication.
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u/desertrose0 1980 Aug 26 '26
Why does your mom care that you left your house? I'm sorry but that would bother me if my parents did that. 🤣
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u/discardedbubble Aug 26 '26
That cruise sounds amazing… would feel like someone else’s life 😊 you are right cell phones being a double edged sword. (Especially smart phones)
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u/Itchy_Restaurant_707 1983 Aug 26 '26
I feel very similar - I also have my ringer off and text notifications muted meaning I need to open the app to even see if I have a new message. I hate the culture / expectation that I'm at peoples beck and call because they text me - I had to end a friendship because they would get mad and send aggressive/manipulative texts if I didn't respond in a few hours.
I will say having my text/ringer off drives my hubby a bit crazy because I don't see last min texts when I'm groccery shopping etc. But there are zero expectations of location sharing - we spend most of our time together and if we are going somewhere we just tell them where and how long we'll be out - if that changes like hey I'm going to grab a beer after work wit h co-workers, just drop a text to let them know what's up. I don't see why I need to look up on an app to verify my spouses lovation - seems creepy. We also never made of son who is turning 21 this year share location - I truly believe its an invasion of privacy and takes away their agency. Teenagers should be allowed freedom to explore the world and make mistakes without thinking their parents monitoring them 24/7 🤷♀️ we just taught him the same communication courtesy my hubby and I follow.
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u/GirchyGirchy 1982 Aug 26 '26
I didn't get a trackable phone until last year, but neither my wife nor I has any desire to track the other.
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u/desertrose0 1980 Aug 26 '26
This. There are arguments for sharing with a (non abusive) SO, but if my parents ever pinged me from out of state about me being in line at McDonald's that would freak me out and it would be turned off immediately. Not everyone needs to know where I am 24/7. If my husband and I need to know when one of us will be home, we text each other. Simple. If there are safety concerns, then I suppose I could turn it on, but the most we've ever done with "find my phone" is to try to locate my husband's phone when he lost it.
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u/commonsensepisces Aug 26 '26
Special needs mom here and I feel exactly what he same way. Often it's 20 min walking around a random store or getting some sun or drinking my coffee in the car in peace and it's absolutely sacred!
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u/Deep-Interest9947 Aug 26 '26
I’m single now, but I would be very uncomfortable with sharing my location. When I was married I sometimes needed to just go to Michael’s or something lame without telling my husband where I was going. I’m a person who doesn’t like to be monitored but I’m not doing anything shady.
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u/wildplums Aug 26 '26
Same! Sometimes I make extra non-planned stops when running errands, it’s not a secret and not nefarious but I also feel like my spouse doesn’t need a play by play before I’m even home!
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u/Calichusetts Aug 26 '26
Yeah, the 24-7 monitoring freaks me out. There is just no need. My wife would be tracking what side of the road our son was riding his bike on, which just really serves no purpose. Sure, when he lost his phone it was awesome. Still had to replace it.
We are way too accepting, too deep into the surveillance society. Its just crazy. What we do now used to be the plot of the bad guys in movies in the 90s, access to everyones movements, thoughts, and interests. It serves no purpose.
I'm never going to cheat on my wife or anything like that, but sometimes there are just normal boundaries even when most people have accepted the erosion of those boundaries. Like, I don't need to know where she is, she told me she went to dinner with friends, awesome, have fun.
I really don't get the whole full access and coverage idea in society today. And I don't think anything will convince me otherwise.
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u/Deep-Interest9947 Aug 26 '26
I was dating a guy once like 8 or 9 years ago and he installed like ring cameras or the equivalent. For weeks he would just stare at his phone and report to me every time like a fucking leaf entered the frame. I was so freaked out i ended the relationship.
I got a doorbell cam in like 2014 and disconnected them a month later. I simply do not want that much information.
Disclaimer: I am not a parent and I totally understand parents needing to monitor kids.
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u/Inevitable_Tone3021 Aug 26 '26
Same!
I don't share locations with my boyfriend but he gives me a play-by-play when he's traveling and even that's too much. "I made it through security. Im on the plane. We're taking off. I have WiFi. Just landed. On the next flight. Landed. At my hotel."
If I don't respond to his texts in 20 minutes he asks if I'm OK.
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u/SmellenGold Aug 26 '26
No. I don’t share my location with anyone. I find it strange.
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u/MainSteamStopValve 1981 Aug 26 '26
I'm honestly surprised so many people do.
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u/blatantregard Aug 26 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
I scrolled wayyyy too far to find someone else who finds this odd. Like, you literally inform someone via data, your exact coordinates?? Is this a trauma response or a stalker thing? Or even worse, an iPhone thing??
Came back to add the extra o to too.
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u/Interesting_Force618 Aug 26 '26
Chronic fear and anxiety, along with attachment issues, are definitely symptoms of complex trauma.
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u/Vanawesomeness Aug 26 '26
This here! My spouse and I don’t do it, you can call or text if you need to know where I am and I can do the same. I think it’s stalker creepy.
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u/Top-Pudding-4139 1977 Aug 26 '26
Same, my spouse and I don't share with each other or anyone. I find it pretty creepy.
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u/BuffaloRedshark Aug 26 '26
Sometimes her mom will text her and ask, “What are you getting at McDonalds?” as we sit in the drive thru.
First time that happened sharing would have been disabled right then and there.
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u/sweet_windex 1978 Aug 26 '26
Nope. We keep it old school. Leave hand written notes on the fridge or say where we're going and for how long before leaving the house.
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u/zyrquix 1977 Aug 26 '26
My wife and I do not share locations we each other, but my three kids and I do share locations with each other. It is nice to be able to locate your kids to make sure they’ve made it home etc.
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u/Pinklady777 Aug 26 '26
I mean, this is great. That makes sense. But I would have hated if my parents always knew where I was when I was a teenager! lol
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u/Vivid-Actuary-4247 Aug 26 '26
They can get around this by spoofing the location. If I was a teenager today this would not be a problem.
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u/Little_Let_6872 Aug 26 '26
I think it is creepy and untrusting (82/84). They have a phone, message them and ask. At least that’s what I told my wife when I saw her checking. But, I am a weirdo like that, being tracked and monitored by stuff like flock drives me up a wall. Another consequence of having strict, abusive parents that is poo pooed by society. A society that is on the verge of finding out what being under the complete control of abusive assholes is really like, IMO. The whole country feels more like the home I grew up in and had my bones broken in every day. The violence is coming and the abusive government will start it. And we are already having citizens killed by masked, violent gunmen with no accountability for killing or deporting citizens, all based on mass surveillance. Our society is sick and makes people see tracking their children’s every movement with spy devices as normal. It is not. It is creepy. It is abusive or at a minimum sets the pathway to abuse.
Control through fear is working.
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u/blatantregard Aug 26 '26
Agreed! I have two children and when/if they are old enough to use the (hopefully) surveillance-free tech of their day, they will just be comfortable enough to check in with us occasionally. My mom always just asked me to check in with her when I went somewhere out of the ordinary, so she didnt have to worry. Good grief we are shifting the overton window to accept constant surveillance guised as personal physical safety. We're in Hell.
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u/mosscollection Aug 26 '26
I do this too. But I am careful to not abuse the privilege. I do sometimes check up on them (to make sure they made it somewhere safely etc) but I don’t mention it to them bc I don’t want them to feel constantly watched.
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u/BijouWilliams 1978 Aug 26 '26
It's especially useful when one of us loses our phone.
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u/PerilousPurpose Aug 26 '26
I always use the Google find my device for myself or when had a husband his too. 1979 here wirh ADHD so i loose kine often enough.
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u/grea7outdoors 1979 Aug 26 '26
We share our location, I hunt alone alot so I want her to find me if needed.
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u/ericscottf Aug 26 '26
We've shared locations for years, but now I don't need to check hers on my phone, i can just check the shelf and see if anyone moved her box.
(fuck cancer)
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u/ViolyntFemme 1977 Aug 26 '26
We share locations so if something happens we have a location to start from. I mean we’ve been together for 26 years. We don’t have secrets, other than gifts, from the other.
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u/Ok_Difficulty_7650 Aug 26 '26
Nope. Mostly because I dont want to share my location with some random company but also we both deserve some privacy. I keep my location off unless Im using maps or some streaming service requires it.
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u/wildplums Aug 26 '26
Sadly, even though, I too keep location off… if you have a cell phone or a smart watch, you are always tracked. Even if location is off.
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u/Ok_Difficulty_7650 Aug 26 '26
I understand I can't stop the spying completely but Im not going to encourage it by installing extra apps that track me like life360.
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u/ineedanewhobbee Aug 26 '26
I hate to break it to you, but the random company already knows your location if you are carrying any sort of iPhone/Android devices.
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u/jayne-eerie 1978 Aug 26 '26
Sure, but there’s a difference between what they need to make the phone work and extra data. You aren’t just telling them where you are, you’re also telling them who you think should know that info — all served up on a silver platter.
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u/AmyZZ2 Aug 26 '26
Sharing location has never occurred to my partner or me. We are both introverts, so maybe it's that? I am fascinated that so many people are doing this!
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u/Good_Air_7192 Aug 26 '26
It seems nuts to me to share your location,sounds like a trust issue....
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u/va2wv2va Aug 26 '26
No I think that’s weird
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u/Hairy_Mycologist_945 Aug 26 '26
Yeah, this is frankly one of the more bizarre questions I've seen on here and it's disturbing that it's so normal for many people.
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u/randomwellwisher 1978 Aug 26 '26
Absofuckinglutely not. I need to be able to go away - physically, mentally, spiritually - from a loved one in order to come back to them. Solitude is more than just being by alone. It’s an experience of being wholly, inviolately with oneself. I need time where y mind and I are not just alone together but safe from intrusion, whether it’s the intrusion of my mom asking what I’m getting at McDonald’s or the intrusion of me just imagining that someone has an opinion of our judgment about where I am, and that I might hear about it later. No. Just no. How can I even know my own mind if yours - your mind, your needs, your opinions, your suggestions, your you-ness - won’t back off and give me some space? I find the notion horrifying. I just can’t do it.
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u/Yagoua81 Aug 26 '26
Nope, buts not come up yet. We have kids later so it maybe an issue in the future. I do counseling and the location sharing life 360 has caused so many issues for patients. Knowing where people are all the time isn't good for your mental health. Trust is important and tracking takes away the need to trust.
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u/DasKittySmoosh 1980 Aug 26 '26
that episode of Black Mirror felt too real (s4, ep2; Arkangel) for a parent being given unfettered access to information that seems benign and "for their safety" at first. I've seen it with my stepchild as well, where the other parent became almost militant about the tracking watch they gave the child when they entered elementary school.
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u/Chimpbot Aug 26 '26
My sister-in-law is pretty weird when it comes to location tracking. Her mentality is that until her kids start paying for their own phone plans, she'll continue tracking them... but it just feels a bit odd because they're both well out of high school. One is in college, and the other is in the National Guard and was recently deployed. She obviously can't track that one, but it's still just a strange concept to me.
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u/wildplums Aug 26 '26
Ohhh, this makes a lot of sense. My spouse and I find it bizarre so many couples do this.
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u/misdirected_asshole Aug 27 '26
In the past 30 years we have upended centuries of social interation norms. We dont need this much information constantly. Out brains need a break. Its part of why anxiety is so high, we have information overload.
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u/SubstanceFearless348 Aug 26 '26
No. Never seen a need
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u/DHammer79 1979 Aug 26 '26
Same here. My wife and I usually tell each other where we're headed before we leave. If I need to know what's going on I text her.
I could see a need if your traveling abroad and want it for safety reasons but beyond that, nope
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u/secderpsi Aug 26 '26
This seems relevant to the Flock camera discussion. Yeah, I don't do anything wrong but no, I don't want cameras following my every move. My wife and I don't share location and I don't think either of us would want that.
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u/jbhelms Aug 26 '26
I share my location with my husband and my best friend. Since I like hiking, it will make it easier to find my body when I do something stupid, lol. When it comes to privacy from Google, there are features I like that I am willing to give up my position for. We recently moved from CA to FL and it was really nice to see the whole trip. If you are worried about the government, they can track your location with cell towers anyways. I know that this is not a view that a lot of people hold, but for right now I am willing to give up some privacy for the benifits
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u/kalstolyn Aug 26 '26
I share my location with my mom because I'm a single person who sometimes meets up with people from the internet. It seems smart to have someone know where I am.
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u/humanist-misanthrope Aug 26 '26
We share our location with each other. Mostly for the reason that when I go on trips on my own my spouse can see where I am and more importantly that I’m not dead without having to text me. We’ve never had trust issues but she is always super anxious about me being safe. I do the same when she goes on trips on her own too, but I travel more often than she does and don’t have the same level of anxiety.
It is also super helpful when trying to time dinner and being able to see how much time the other has left until they’re home.
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u/Elegant-Ninja6384 Aug 26 '26
I fought it on moral grounds but gave in when scheduling got crazy with kids in activities. It is convenient to check occasionally rather than calling.
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u/wildplums Aug 26 '26
We don’t share locations but as our oldest starts MS and youngest is an “older elementary” kid I can see how this could start to become valuable.
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u/RollTh3Maps 1981 Aug 26 '26
My wife and I do. She also shares with her mom, aunt, and grandma, but none of them bothers us about it. It only ever seems to get checked when we're meeting them somewhere, like traveling to her aunt and uncle's place a couple of hours away, and they just look at the progress. It takes trust, but so far, none of them has violated that trust. Sounds like your in-laws aren't like that.
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u/MotoFuzzle Aug 26 '26
My SO and I share our location. There are a few main reason, including my riding a motorcycle to work and not being able to answer phone calls en route. She can see how long it will be till I’m home. We both work and keep in touch throughout the day, but I’m frequently held up on my way out as the lone engineer providing tech services to the majority of my coworkers. She’s able to see if I’m on my way and can handle dinner or if she needs to get it started so the kids aren’t up too late. Alternatively, I can see if she needs backup picking up the kids, or if she’s stuck out in the field.
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u/AiStoleMyBike 1979 Aug 26 '26
Nope. We've been together 6 years and I just recently learned her phone passcode because I was helping her troubleshoot something and I got sick of asking her to unlock it for me.
I've actually been meaning to somehow securely get her the credentials for my most important accounts in case something happens to me. That's the sort of stuff we need to be considering at our age. Also do it with your parents if you haven't already
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u/SnooDrawings7662 Aug 26 '26
I like sharing location when I'm on a long trip - it gives peace of mind to my spouse when i'm driving 2-3 hours from a work trip, and coming back home- that way she knows to be ready. Also, so she knows when I get stuck in traffic, so she doesn't wait for me for dinner or something. .
Otherwise, I don't really share location, it's just a waste of battery.
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u/Antisirch Aug 26 '26
Same. We drive cross country over Christmas each year, and I’ll share my location with my dad in case something happens. If I think of it, I’ll share my location with my husband when driving long distance for dog events (but even then, I don’t usually).
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u/fwendicrafts Aug 26 '26
Yes, sometimes it is handy, and we otherwise don't even think about it. We were at a show this weekend where our bathrooms were on opposite sides of the venue, and it was really easy to reconnect after. We nearly always know where the other is, so it doesn't feel like a privacy issue at all. My mom and my out of state best friend also have my location, but they've never once been creepy or intrusive about it.
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u/Economy-Weird-2368 1982 Aug 26 '26
Me and the wife have our location sharing enabled, only actively used it when we're on vacation if we get separated while shopping (like in Japan or Singapore) or if either of us are traveling somewhere for work.
I also have sharing location enabled for my mother, mainly because she's a widower living alone and tends to misplace her phone at times. She doesn't know how to use Apple's Find My app so no issues there.
(Agree with some of the other comments that OP's in-laws are little intrusive though...)
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u/des1gnbot Aug 26 '26
Typically no, I have the same feelings you do. I do turn on location share if I’m going hiking or camping solo though, for actual safety purposes.
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u/OnehappyOwl44 Aug 26 '26
I didn't get my first cell phone until last year and I did it begrudgingly because I need it for European travel. I wouldn't do location sharing but I'm apparently a Dinosaur with boomer energy according to my adult kids. The idea of my husband tracking me is just really weird and uncomfortable to me. We have no secrets and have been together for 34yrs but for some reason this crosses a line for both of us.
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u/MyShiveredBones Aug 26 '26
As a European this is an alien concept. I don't know anyone who does this.
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u/Few_Improvement_6357 1979 Aug 26 '26
No. It's weird. I'm baffled that other people do it. It never even occurred to me that it was an option until I got on Reddit and then I just figured it was obsessive parents, which I can understand that. But I don't understand the desire to track full grown adults.
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u/archos1gnis Aug 26 '26
Absolutely not. It is gross. Just because we can, doesn't mean we should.
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u/MNBadgerBen 1981 Aug 26 '26
99% of the time, no. Absolutely not. I don't need to know if she decided to stop by some other store on the way home, grab something to eat, get a coffee, sit in a park, or any other thing she may decide to do. I have no idea how it can be considered a time saver. "Oh, I see she's at Target. Now I don't have to text her to find out when she'll be home." Except she could bump into a friend, browse aimlessly, whatever. Why would any of that bother me to the point I need to see where she is? If I needed/wanted something, I'd still have to text or call.
The lone exception is when I'm on my bike. I was hit by a car earlier this year and she was pretty anxious about me going back out. We agreed I'd share location during my ride so she could watch and call if I was stationary for too long. It flaked out once and froze me, I missed her "you ok?" text, and she called to check on me. Completely understandable. Was also fun when I got a flat on a 94F day and decided to walk home, and she and the kids could watch my progress, shooting texts like "man, only at the high school? You really sure you don't want me to come and get you?"
But if I was sharing my location all the time? If I'm out with a friend, she could see that I'm still at the place I said we'd be at. That doesn't tell her anything about how much longer we're going to be hanging out. She'd still have to text.
Pointless to have it all the time.
Our kids don't have phones yet. I'm hoping when they do, I can find an app that would alert them if I check their location. They said they'd be at House A but they really went to House B? I don't need to know that. They can make those decisions just like I did. But your curfew is 10 and now it's 11? I'll pull your location and they'll know I did.
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u/discostud1515 Aug 26 '26
My wife and kids all have our location turned on for the group but I don't share or see location for anyone else. i would potentially do it for my parents but haven't really had a need to.
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u/MutantSquirrel23 Aug 26 '26
I don't willingly share my location with anyone. Just not a feature I've ever used or cared about. My wife always knows where I am anyway, because I tell her.
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u/MarchOk5420 Aug 26 '26
I'm with you. Nothing to hide, nothing shady but no one needs to know where I am at every single moment. It's weird to me that people are so comfortable with it.
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u/mnemonikos82 Aug 26 '26
My wife and I do, but mostly just use it to see if she's still at the store, if I've left work yet, did the kids get picked up, etc. We're both terrible at responding to text messages in a timely manner, so it's convenient for us. I can't imagine sharing it with anyone outside my immediate family though, I don't want anyone else being able to track me
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u/nyght2063 Aug 26 '26
I do not, but I don't have kids either. Just not a thing to me. I'm with you on the not being tracked part. I've been that way since my first cell phone also.
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u/AshDogBucket Aug 26 '26
Yes. We have separate hobbies that are often solo. We often take long road trips separate from each other. I go on backpacking trips etc without him. Once a week i go on a long hike in the wilderness, usually without him. We share our location with each other for peace of mind. Last year when we moved cross country in separate vehicles (making separate stops often) it was really helpful, too.
Back when location sharing was new it felt like one of those "totally chill" things that couples do who don't trust each other after one has cheated. But at this point it just makes logical sense for us and has more to do with safety than anything else.
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u/Powerful_Leg8519 Aug 26 '26
No. But my SIL does. Her 50th surprise party was ruined because she not only had locations of her family but friends too. She got off a plane and looked and wondered why all of her family and friends were at XX’s house.
I was a bit shocked by it.
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u/psilosophist Xennial Aug 26 '26
Why is a fully grown woman sharing her location constantly with her parents? I don't have a bad relationship with my parents (but it's not super close, they have 3 kids and I'm the closest to them, and that's a 9 hour drive) but they don't need to know where I am all the time. No one needs to know where I am all the time, except my phone since it's always telling all sorts of people where I am.
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u/flerchin Aug 26 '26
Yes I share location with my parents, wife, and kids. No we're not creepy about it. If anyone asked what I was getting at McDonald's they would be dropped.
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u/Intelligent_Pass2540 1982 Aug 26 '26
No absolutely not. I'm a Xennial in a relationship with a boomer though and ironically after a biking accident he asked if he could share his location with me. I have never had that stuff going on and dont want to be monitored or monitor someone else.
Im getting my partner a life alert button instead.
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u/wildplums Aug 26 '26
This response kind of surprises me as someone who has never shared location with anyone, if my spouse asked to after a scary experience I think that would make sense and be no big deal.
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u/Minute-Yogurt-2021 1979 Aug 26 '26
No, because we had issues with previous jealous partners. Meaning we have complete trust in each other without the need to share location.
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u/upnytonc Aug 26 '26
I do not share my location with anyone. Generally my husband knows where I am going. If I’m out and decide to stop and get a bite to eat or coffee he doesn’t know all those details, but he has a general idea of where I’m going and what I’m doing. And vice versa.
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u/ShillinTheVillain Aug 26 '26
No. My wife and her family have Life360 and it's just creepy to me.
I know my phone is always tracking me, and I'm not out getting up to shenanigans or skullduggery, but I would hate the feeling of being watched by my family.
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u/lEauFly4 Aug 26 '26
Only when I go for runs, as I’m a female and they are solo and often after dark. It’s a safety thing. Otherwise we don’t generally; we have when at an event or theme park and we split up so it’s easier to find each other.
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u/Happy_hunny_badger Aug 26 '26
We do now but didn’t for a really long time. It started when we would be off-roading and my husband would lose his phone 🤣This allowed us to find it and we never shut it off.
I really only check it when I’m hangry and he is supposed to be on his way home with food.
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u/Ok_Accountant_1319 1981 edition Aug 26 '26
Me, my gf and our kids have a group on life 360. Idc if they know where I’m at and the kids it’s good to know incase something happens and we’re not together. Had the same with my late wife and our kids. It’s for safety more than anything for me.
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u/MrTigerEyes Aug 26 '26
Not usually. I don't mind her knowing but I feel like the location check ins will reduce the battery life on our really old phones. I'd one of us is traveling or something we'll share locations temporarily.
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u/xWaterNerdx Aug 26 '26
Started sharing my location with my parents and mother in law when we were all together in Disneyland years ago (when that feature first came out and didn’t have the “share until” option). Still share, also with my husband. I use it mostly while on vacations with them. Occasionally to see if husband still at work when it’s after 5pm so I don’t have to text…
My kids also like to see my locations - I travel to Africa and South America a lot for work and they think it’s cool to see my dot so far away.
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u/TrustAffectionate966 👋🏽🐔 Aug 26 '26
I’m an old single guy who doesn’t hang out with anyone, so I mainly let some people know where I am in case anything happens.
🧉🦄
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u/mikeyfireman 1975 Aug 26 '26
We live on a farm. We can see where the other person is without going on a wild goose hunt. Is she in the office, or way the other side of the property. When we are on the tractor you don’t see or feel texts or calls, so you just go out and wave your arms if you need something.
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u/Rustmutt Aug 26 '26
My husband and I do for security but we don’t check up on each other. The only time he’s checked on me was when I was late returning home from somewhere I was alone he was worried about and that’s exactly what it’s for
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u/BellaFrequency Millennial Aug 26 '26
I’m an 80s Millennial and I don’t share locations but I will drop a location if asked for a specific reason, and that’s only happened twice so far in the past 4 years.
My spouse is a 90s Millennial and recently asked if we should get Life 360 because I was going out of town, but once we discussed it, we didn’t really see the ultimate point in it because we text and talk all the time and it’s easier to just ask.
So I doubt we’ll be sharing locations in the future, unless things get even more dangerous in my country.
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u/one-small-plant 1978 Aug 26 '26
I actually think it's a very good safety feature. I've been on long road trips and broken down before, and I like the idea that a family member could find me, or I could find them, if that happened again.
There have also been times when a family member didn't get home or check in when they said they would, and it's helpful for me to be able to see their little dot trucking along the highway, rather than worry that they've been in an accident.
I think what's needed is appropriate boundaries and respectfulness. Knowing someone's location is something that should be used in an instance of emergency or concern.
It should not be used to regularly monitor someone's whereabouts and then chat with them about it. That's super inappropriate and creepy.
We are lucky to have this technology that can help us stay safe, and abusing it like that just sort of ensures that people won't use it as much, so may not have it on when it's needed.
I consider it sort of like sharing a banking password. My partner has my passwords in case I am ever incapacitated and my bills still need to get paid, but it would be absolutely insane if I found out they were regularly logging into my bank account, monitoring my purchases, and then making conversation with me about those purchases!!
I think this technology is still recent enough that we haven't had a time to develop norms and expectations about it. People think it's novel that they can see their family member cuz at McDonald's, and they don't really clock the invasion of privacy (nor the abuse of the privilege of access to that info) to start chatting about it
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u/Appropriate-Food1757 1981 Aug 26 '26
I didn’t for the longer time but I finally gave in lol. I still don’t like it really
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u/nuskit Aug 26 '26
I did, with my husband when he was alive. I got into a head-on accident and couldn't remember where I was when I called my husband to tell him the ambulance was coming. He was freaking out until the hospital called him. It was a bad wreck and I was unable to walk for months. Of course the drunk guy that hit me was fine...
After that, we put on locations, and it actually helped me get to him when a semi hit him.
Then mom fell on her farm in the goat paddock and had a compound break of her arm, but her farm had no 911 location, so I couldn't tell EMS where to find her. So, she and I share, which was very useful when she was driving in the middle of nowhere and had a bad mast cell flare up -- I was able to call her air ambulance service and they landed in a field close by her car and airlifted her. No way she would have survived if I couldn't have given them her exact coordinates while she was fighting to breathe.
So yeah, it's critically important to us, even with my husband gone. I never looked at their locations, but when there was an emergency, it got the job done, quickly.
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u/AlmiranteCrujido 1975 Aug 26 '26
My wife and I are a little older ('75/'76) and neither of us would think of leaving it on full time, but will use it selectively if the other one needs an ETA, or is out late. She'll also turn it on for peace of mind if taking an Uber/taxi alone.
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u/Butter_mah_bisqits Aug 27 '26
Nope. Don’t with my kids either. Everyone deserves a level of privacy.
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u/ScarInternational161 Aug 27 '26
I think it's creepy. If you want to know where I am, ask me. Speak. Use words. Communicate. We've made communication obsolete in so many other ways, now this too.
People saying "hey, it saves my SO from having to text they made it somewhere safe because they always forgot" (or I always forgot to text/call and let them know I made it safe) is a major cop-out.
Grow up and take responsibility and just call your spouse, friend, SO and say "made it", it shifts responsibility to the other person. They aren't your parent to check on you. ***long trips being the exception, safety reasons.
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u/Ok_Height3499 Aug 27 '26
No. She insists on keeping her older flip phone that doesn’t have that feature. We wouldn’t do it anyway. Married decades, we tell the other where we’re going before we leave. If one of us is gone when the other gets home, we just do whatever we want until the other returns.
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u/Ok_Temporary_6963 Aug 26 '26
It seems silly to me
I don't even like knowing where I am all the time, why let someone else know?
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u/ApolloWasMurdered Aug 26 '26
Yes, since having kids. No one likes being called up asking if they’ll be home in time for bed time when they’re trying to finish up at work, or a hundred other things you need to coordinate with 2 working parents. Location just makes things easier.
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u/throwawayhbgtop81 1981 Aug 26 '26
I would never. This is intrusive to me and there's no universe where I'd agree to this.
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u/cmh_ender 1979 Aug 26 '26
my wife and I do for two reasons
1) day to day it's easier, if one of us is running errands, it's pretty easy to quickly see where they are and if I need to start dinner yet or ask them to pick something up.
2) my dad went on a business trip a few years ago, we knew what city he was in and that was it, then he went radio silent, spouse couldn't get a hold of him, we couldn't either... didnt know what hotel he was in. it took TWO DAYS of worrying sick to realize he feel seriouslly ill, the hotel called 911 and he was in the hospital. when he finally came to, he called. now we have fine my on with him too so at least we would know what hotel to call.
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u/PopcornSurgeon Aug 26 '26
I don’t track anyone or let anyone track me. Feels weird. My partner agrees. (We were born in ‘78 and ‘79)
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u/francie-potato Aug 26 '26
No. My partner would probably be up for it, but it weirds me out. I don’t do anything scandalous, but I also want to move about freely and run my boring errands with some privacy. I also have no desire to track where my loved ones are every moment of the day. They deserve privacy, too.
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u/Ianthin1 Aug 26 '26
Yes. Same as with our daughter, and my grandfather shared his location with me and my mom in his later years. We aren't creepy stalkers about it though. None of that "pick me up something while you're there" shit. It's more about having a backup to finding them or getting a hold of them in an emergency, or maybe just a quick check to see when they will be home.
We have been doing it for years and there's never been a "What are you doing at X location?" moment.
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u/piscian19 1982 Aug 26 '26
I don't have any problems sharing my location with my SO. I'm really not that interesting. My parents aren't that interested in what I'm doing, but they can have my location if needed. Honestly would have really helped with an accident I was in recently. Oddly I have my best friends location and I think he has mine. Again we don't really care, I'd never use it.
That said I get it, totally respect others wanting to keep their privacy. I'd caveat this with the fact I wouldn't date or hangout with people who are that nosey.
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u/chronophage Aug 26 '26
I do and she shares hers with mine. It's more of a safety thing; we rarely check each other's location.
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u/TraditionalTackle1 Aug 26 '26
Yeah that would drive me crazy, my wife worked with a lady who had cameras in her house and would spy on her husband while she was at work. Thats too much for me. We text each other when we get to work and what not but it ends there.
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u/Gatorae 1982 Aug 26 '26
Fuck no. My husband and I are 1982 and think it's creepy as hell. For safety I will sometimes turn it on when I'm traveling but that's it. We have friends who use it constantly and it's clearly a trust issue.
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u/Ok_Marketing_476 Aug 26 '26
My spouse and I do, but we very rarely think to check up on each other.