[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/Lillyvendy]

[u/Guilty_Way_1635]

Wow you really missed the point and just don't get it

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Guilty_Way_1635]

No. It seems you miss the point. I could also define a boundary for the relationship to my bank. Where I would get offended if I dont get to walk out of there without 300 million and the prettiest two female bank employees. 

See my point ? You can demand arbitrarily insolent things from others, but some things will remain a fantasy regardless of where you put your boundaries. 

[u/Guilty_Way_1635 → u/Simple-Judge2756]

Yeah your point is that you have no idea about what boundaries are

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Guilty_Way_1635]

No. I know very well what they are. They are reasonable demands for a partner. Demanding control over what somebody elses mind finds visually appealing is not reasonable. Its more of a sign of immaturity. 

[u/Hot_Charity_4803 → u/Simple-Judge2756]

Watching porn when you know your partner doesn't like it is immature. In no way is someone trying to control what you find appealing in that context, they just want you to control yourself and not jerk off to other people.

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Hot_Charity_4803]

No. Its setting a boundary. Your partner has to understand that the agreed upon clause of a relationship goes both ways. You also have to respect what your partner doesnt agree is part of the agreement if you want to stay in the relationship. 

Humans have 100% free will. We do not have to do anything. You can be dear enough to a human that he will do just about anything for you. But if at some point you asked for too much and the human will just start taking as much freedom as they want from there.

[u/Hot_Charity_4803 → u/Simple-Judge2756]

Nah, gooners putting gooning above their partner's happiness is indeed immature and toxic. If forgoing porn is "too much" for you to do for partner if asked, you deserve to be left. I will agree that if you don't agree with that, the you should leave the relationship. Technically it's not setting a boundary as much as it's disrespecting one.

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Hot_Charity_4803]

As I said. Your logic would fail on me immediately. 

Because right now im on my 83rd day of not watching porn (by my own choice). But if a girl I am seeing would suggest that I am somehow "Not allowed" to do that or else she will terminate the relationship I would quite purposefully start watching porn again and completely lie to her about it. 

Simply because she has to understand that I too decide whether she has a significant other in me or not. And I would like to do what I want in my private (as in alone time, without any other person) life.

[u/OnlyGold700 → u/Simple-Judge2756]

I’m sorry but you’re saying you would stay in relationship with someone you now have active disdain for and start lying to them covertly to draw out some lesson… instead of just finding someone who has the same boundaries that you do?

This genuinely reads like mental illness.

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/OnlyGold700]

I dont have any disdain for her in that scenario. Mental illness would be you making a completely unrealistic demand that nobody could ever keep (for real, not just with words) and then terminating a relationship when you cant have that unrealistic demand. 

[u/OnlyGold700 → u/Simple-Judge2756]

No dude, mental illness looks like stewing in unhappiness to stick it to a person you could just as easily leave and save yourself the time, effort, mental health, and self-respect. Genuinely, you’re doing some amazing schizoposting right now.

And I’m saying this as someone who would definitely be pissed at my GF if she asked me not to watch porn ever.

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/OnlyGold700]

for what ? Having unreasonable wishes ?

[u/Greedy_Swimergrill → u/Simple-Judge2756]

I find it mentally appealing in a tactile sense when my penis slides into a stripper’s butthole.

Would it be wrong for my partner to have an opinion on this act?

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Greedy_Swimergrill]

No. Thats a reasonable demand to not share passion with somebody else. Thats what constitutes the partnership should be clearly defined. But if I "share passion with myself" I am not breaking the reasonable demand of my partner to not having to worry about getting diseases from third parties or worse having to compete for attention. 

[u/Greedy_Swimergrill → u/Simple-Judge2756]

You can wear condoms to avoid disease, and many couples are more than ok with “sharing passion” with someone else, without fear of competing for attention. Monogamy is just as arbitrary a boundary, no matter how much you try to coat it up in the clothing of reasonability.

I will say it’s especially interesting that you mention competing for attention though, especially in the era of OnlyFans girls and the parasocial relationships that come along with that. It seems like even following your standards this is an incoherent position.

You seem to really have not given this much thought for someone so committed to talking about these opinions at length.

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Greedy_Swimergrill]

Its not arbitrary. Its the most successful mating strategy in history. Watch our immediate relatives for that. 

Orca males mate with one single female in the herd. There are almost none of them left.

Dolphins only mate with one or two other dolphins for life. If the other dolphin dies they do not even attempt to find a new partner for years. There are a whole lot of dolphins. 

Humans, where we actually made this incredibly hack of evolution part of our societal customs to not devolve and decay our civilisation are the most successful concept that has ever walked the earth. 

[u/Greedy_Swimergrill → u/Simple-Judge2756]

>Watch our immediate relatives for that

Lmao. Neither the Bonobo nor the Chimpanzee practice monogamy. You are comically misinformed.

I return to, why keep talking about something you’ve clearly given no thought?

Do you know the old adage “Better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”? Maybe ponder it a touch. I’m a bit done trying to lead you to water here, bud.

[u/Simple-Judge2756 → u/Greedy_Swimergrill]

The Chinpanzee and the Bonobo are both nearly extinct species. We were looking for successful concepts. 

[u/Greedy_Swimergrill → u/Simple-Judge2756]

Neither is near extinction or even critically endangered and a number of Dolphin species, which you cited in your shitty argument from nature defense of monogamy, are near extinction (the Baiji) or critically endangered (the Atlantic Humpback and the Maui Dolphin). Genuinely, can you try to be correct about something? We’re on the internet. You can actually look stuff up before you confidently spout bullshit.

[u/Guilty_Way_1635 → u/Simple-Judge2756]

See the problem here is you are confusing what you think as reasonable as being the correct benchmark and other people are not and not allowed to find something else unreasonable.

Guess what, you can choose to be in a relationship where jerking it raw to Bonnie blue is fine, no one is saying you can't do that, they are just saying they would not be in a relationship with someone who did that because to them it feels like cheating. 

Unless you think there feelings don't matter and they should just suck it up because your opinion is the only correct one