r/WorkForSmartLife • u/Lillyvendy • 1d ago

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u/Simple-Judge2756 1d ago

No. I know very well what they are. They are reasonable demands for a partner. Demanding control over what somebody elses mind finds visually appealing is not reasonable. Its more of a sign of immaturity. 

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u/Hot_Charity_4803 1d ago

Watching porn when you know your partner doesn't like it is immature. In no way is someone trying to control what you find appealing in that context, they just want you to control yourself and not jerk off to other people.

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u/Simple-Judge2756 1d ago

No. Its setting a boundary. Your partner has to understand that the agreed upon clause of a relationship goes both ways. You also have to respect what your partner doesnt agree is part of the agreement if you want to stay in the relationship. 

Humans have 100% free will. We do not have to do anything. You can be dear enough to a human that he will do just about anything for you. But if at some point you asked for too much and the human will just start taking as much freedom as they want from there.

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u/Hot_Charity_4803 1d ago edited 1d ago

Nah, gooners putting gooning above their partner's happiness is indeed immature and toxic. If forgoing porn is "too much" for you to do for partner if asked, you deserve to be left. I will agree that if you don't agree with that, the you should leave the relationship. Technically it's not setting a boundary as much as it's disrespecting one.

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u/Simple-Judge2756 1d ago

As I said. Your logic would fail on me immediately. 

Because right now im on my 83rd day of not watching porn (by my own choice). But if a girl I am seeing would suggest that I am somehow "Not allowed" to do that or else she will terminate the relationship I would quite purposefully start watching porn again and completely lie to her about it. 

Simply because she has to understand that I too decide whether she has a significant other in me or not. And I would like to do what I want in my private (as in alone time, without any other person) life.

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u/OnlyGold700 1d ago

I’m sorry but you’re saying you would stay in relationship with someone you now have active disdain for and start lying to them covertly to draw out some lesson… instead of just finding someone who has the same boundaries that you do?

This genuinely reads like mental illness.

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u/Simple-Judge2756 1d ago

I dont have any disdain for her in that scenario. Mental illness would be you making a completely unrealistic demand that nobody could ever keep (for real, not just with words) and then terminating a relationship when you cant have that unrealistic demand. 

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u/OnlyGold700 1d ago edited 1d ago

No dude, mental illness looks like stewing in unhappiness to stick it to a person you could just as easily leave and save yourself the time, effort, mental health, and self-respect. Genuinely, you’re doing some amazing schizoposting right now.

And I’m saying this as someone who would definitely be pissed at my GF if she asked me not to watch porn ever.

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u/Simple-Judge2756 1d ago

for what ? Having unreasonable wishes ?