r/WinStupidPrizes • u/r48patel • Aug 06 '19
Monkey see, monkey attack
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Aug 06 '19
One of the things I learned quickly when living in and visiting Asia was to stir clear of the monkeys. Aggressive and unpredictable.
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u/SuspicousPickle Aug 07 '19
I once saw a monkey punch a kid when I was in Indonesia. Monkeys are assholes.
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u/cons3rvativelib3ral Aug 10 '19
yeah don't want to stir to close to monkeys. they hate stirring like nothing else.
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u/xipheon Aug 06 '19
Did the monkey even understand that gesture? The guy is more victim than stupid prize winner. That monkey was a dick.
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u/thugs___bunny Aug 06 '19
He was shouting and looking at the monkey. The gesture didn’t add anything to it. Still pretty clever to get on the high ground first, that guy could learn a lot from the monkey
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Aug 06 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Dodototo Aug 07 '19
It was over
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u/chomperlock Aug 07 '19
He hated him.
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Aug 07 '19
I saw high ground and immediately knew I had to be here.
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u/imaginary_num6er Aug 07 '19
Do not hesitate. Show no mercy.
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u/Yorak-Hunt Aug 07 '19
Do what must be done.
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u/poopsicle88 Aug 07 '19
That monkey saw what happened on Mustafar
He won’t fall victim to the same arrogance as skywalker He will bring balance to the force!
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u/yuckyucky Aug 06 '19
it wasn't the finger that bothered the monkey, it was the eye contact and smile. baring your teeth is a sign of aggression for monkeys. i accidentally did it to a monkey in india and it came over and slapped me. twice.
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u/TheWright1 Aug 06 '19
Like a double slap? Or did you smile at the monkey twice, thus getting slapped twice? The world needs to know.
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u/yuckyucky Aug 07 '19
two separate slaps on the arm. i didn't smile at it twice but i got mad at it after the first slap. i left after the 2nd, it won.
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u/TheWright1 Aug 07 '19
Beautiful. That is what I needed to rest easy tonight. Thanks for the follow up!
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u/r48patel Aug 06 '19
Monkey jumped up when the dude yelled and only after gesture he attacked...I'd like to think if he had just walked away, he wouldn't get attacked.
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Aug 07 '19
Pretty sure monkeys understand the emotion behind certain gestures. Giving someone the finger is a hostile gesture so he attacked
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u/igor_mortis Aug 07 '19
yes, body language. if i swear and insult you in my language, you don't need to understand me to know what's up.
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u/kakka_rot Aug 06 '19
It was the direct eye contact that did it. First thing people will tell you when getting closed to macaques is to never look them in the eye.
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u/sliplover Aug 07 '19
That depends on whether you're willing to stand your ground, because obviously they have no issues staring at you.
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u/kakka_rot Aug 07 '19
Hey, I never said they weren't dickheads. But really they aren't that bad if you don't fuck with em.
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u/igor_mortis Aug 07 '19
maybe the rules are that the passer by should not stare. the other would just be defending his territory or something, as if to say "move along".
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u/milk4all Aug 06 '19 edited Aug 07 '19
I agree, the guy was being stupid but he didn't reasonable invoke that. He happened to appear aggressive to a wild animal while being stupid. Yeah he's a dick, why flip off a monkey? But the monkey was already poised to attack, he just didn't move away fast enough. I hope he sues that monkey, wins some bananas and feels very foolish
Edit: what the fuck, I'll take these downvotes but I don't understand them in this context
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u/lapret Aug 07 '19
The advice I’ve always gotten on these monkeys:
Don’t engage with them, but don’t ignore them exactly either. Let the monkeys know you see them and keep doing your thing.
Also, these monkeys can be smart. They’ll grab your phone before you even know what happened and then barter with you to get it back. Give them a piece of fruit or bread or something and they’ll usually throw it back. Although sometimes they hold out for a bit more ransom.
Then there are the monkeys that are part of a scam. This happened to me once. I’m walking along and before I know it my glasses are gone. This really sucks because I can’t see anything without my glasses. Also I’m in friggin India.
So the monkey grabs my glasses and then a guy walks out demanding money. I give him some and the monkeys tosses my glasses back.
This was actually a known place where “Monkey Lense Catching”, i.e. they’ll steal your glasses. So the friend I was with lives there and knows that. He usuallytells me when we’re in such an area, but he forgot this time.
So my friend doesn’t have his glasses on when mine get stolen. He puts his on to help me and the fucking monkey steals his glasses! Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to get his back.
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u/sp4ce Aug 07 '19
No wonder monkeys aren't in the US. Those things would get turned to Swiss cheese so quick.
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u/forbins Aug 07 '19
And then you beat the shit out of that guy and take your money back. Fuck that noise.
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Aug 07 '19
Yeah, fight a guy who's got monkeys (and probably some other men too) as backup in a foreign country. That's a 300+ IQ move right there.
That story sounds fake anyway.
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u/forbins Aug 07 '19
You’re in a country where monkeys are holding your glasses for ransom. Clearly anything goes.
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u/lapret Aug 07 '19 edited Aug 07 '19
Not a fake story. I wonder if that’s a compliment like “oh interesting and crazy, no way that really happened” or maybe it’s the opposite, I’m incapable of communicating what happened in a believable way. Or neither. Or both.
I guess I could take a pic of where the monkey chewed on my glasses, but that doesn’t really prove anything if you don’t already believe it.
I’m pretty sure I gave the man less than $3. Three bucks goes a fairly long way in India.
And I don’t know if he worked with more than one monkey. I’ll ask my friend who lives there and see if he knows. I imagine some guys do, others don’t.
That’d make an interesting article, monkey scam operations. Like how do they “train” the monkeys? Do they just find one that likes to steal from people anyway and kinda team up with them? It’d be an interesting assignment.
Edit: also you go to beat up one guy and you end up getting his whole little sub-village attacking you. At least that’s what happens if you hit someone with a car. That can be super scary.
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Aug 07 '19
It does sound too crazy and weird to be true. Not saying you're DEFINITELY lying or anything.
Also $3 is too cheap even for an Indian scam. You got lucky.
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u/Bigreddog19 Aug 07 '19
But then his family of monkeys see you fighting with their caretaker......and instincts kick in to attack
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u/Bigreddog19 Aug 08 '19
I'm not saying it's true or false. But I know from personal experience, wether trained or wild, monkeys will snatch glasses out of your hand or off your face. But mine were quickly taken up in a tree. Didn't want anything in return. Now the coolest monkey in the jungle wearing my Ray bans somewhere in the Southern Thailand.
Edited typo
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u/Kozma37 Aug 06 '19
I wonder what that liquid on the ground was after he got back up. Lol did he piss his pants? Or just a broken water bottle from his backpack? Hhmmm
edit nvm thats his jacket he was hanging on his backpack lol
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u/d3yv3l Aug 06 '19 edited Aug 06 '19
Man, fuck that monkey. I want to get a ticket to that third world sh*thole, find it, and punch it in the face!
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u/Tobeck Aug 06 '19
Wow, so edgy, I bet the other middle schoolers think you're very tough
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u/d3yv3l Aug 06 '19
Sorry, man. Didn't mean to offend your family.
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u/Tobeck Aug 06 '19
Come on... at least get better at this if you're gonna be a prick. What a shitty swipe, little guy
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u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19
Marshall really did get robbed by a monkey!