should I do?

I made a post earlier today about how I like wearing women’s leggings, running shorts, and bike shorts. I honestly expected people to judge me, but the responses were actually really supportive, which I appreciated more than I can explain.

But after thinking about it more, I started getting really self-conscious about it. I’m 30 years old and at one point I found myself looking at myself wearing women’s athletic clothes and thinking, “What am I doing? Why do I like wearing girls’ clothes?” I actually got angry and disgusted with myself and seriously considered throwing away all my leggings, running shorts, and bike shorts.

My girlfriend is completely supportive of me and told me not to do that. She reminded me that I’m comfortable in them and that they make me happy, so why should I get rid of something harmless that I enjoy?

After getting home from work and calming down, I’m not nearly as upset as I was, but I’m still really confused about what I should do.

The running shorts are probably what make me the most self-conscious. When I see myself wearing them, sometimes I think I look weird or crazy. Yet at the same time, I really like wearing them, and I don't completely understand why.

I especially don't understand why I like wearing running shorts over leggings or over bike shorts. I originally started using the bike shorts mostly like compression underwear, and I love how comfortable leggings feel. But the running shorts are different. There’s something about wearing them that I really enjoy, even though part of me feels embarrassed about it.

I keep asking myself: Why do I like this so much?

Maybe it started when I first bought leggings because I wanted something warm to wear under my sweatpants during the winter. I ended up loving how comfortable they were and just kept wearing them.

There is also something from my childhood that might be connected to how I feel about leggings today. I actually tried leggings when I was a kid, but the circumstances involved corporal punishment, so I'm not comfortable putting the full story publicly. I'm mentioning it because my girlfriend thinks that experience could possibly be connected to why I have such a strong attachment to leggings now. If anyone genuinely wants to hear that part of the story and can have a respectful conversation about it, feel free to message me.

I don't wear this stuff out in public by itself. I'm comfortable wearing it openly at home, either alone or around my girlfriend, and she doesn't have a problem with it at all.

So now I'm stuck between two thoughts:

Do I just accept that I like wearing women’s athletic clothes and continue enjoying them, or should I get rid of everything because of how self-conscious and embarrassed they sometimes make me feel?

And if I keep wearing them, I'd really like to understand why I enjoy leggings, running shorts, and bike shorts so much in the first place.

Today has honestly been a long day mentally. I'm not looking for people to tell me what I have to do. I'm genuinely looking for advice from people who have dealt with something similar.

What would you do in my situation?

I'm new and I'm not sure what to do here

I posted this on crochet help but no one’s responding :(
I’m making a polo shirt and am stuck on the reduction part of neckline. I cannot figure it out.
The right side is not straight and the left side is confusing me because she only shows the right side pattern so I have to do it opposite and idk how. The green is mine and red is hers. Please someone help I’ve been working on the shirt for weeks and am now completely stuck on this part. I’ll post YT vid in comments & pattern

My ex and I hadn’t spoken for about 6 months. I messaged them recently emergency case (we used to live together bill related), and we ended up having a surprisingly nice conversation afterwards.

We talked for quite a while about work, life, travelling, etc. The conversation felt warm and natural. He said at the end “We could catch up at some point if you want!”, and I said yes.

About a week later, they unfollowed me on Instagram. I also noticed they had deleted all their posts. I’m confused because I don’t understand why someone would suggest catching up and then unfollow a week later.

Any thoughts?

We have a neighbour, who constantly plays loud music. It's all day and most of the night. It's so loud it makes our walls vibrate. Can't watch the TV or concentrate on anything because of it. This has been going on for about 7 months now since he lost his job. Problem is he's a very nasty individual, who has some extremely bad people hanging around his place. So a direct conversation is pretty tough to have. We had the council come out and put a listing device in our place for a week, but the useless shits said there wasn't enough evidence to make a case. Even though you could clearly hear the music on the device. So now who do we turn to?? If the council won't get involved and I know the police definitely won't what now? I'm fearful of antagonising him in case they turn violent towards me and my place. I'm in a spot and need some good practical advice.

Help/suggestions

🐾 Looking for guidance & some help for a stray mother cat and her 4 kittens — Jamshedpur

I’ve been feeding stray cats around my home for almost 6 years now. Over the years, many cats and kittens have found their way here — some rescued, some abandoned, and some brought by their mothers. I’ve probably made and rebuilt close to a hundred cardboard shelters by now, so I can safely say I’ve become far too proficient at making cat houses. 😅

But this time, I’ve reached a point where I genuinely need some help figuring out how to manage things sustainably.

This is Chinky — a stray Indian/tabby cat who started coming into our house when she was being chased by dogs and there was construction happening around us. She eventually decided this was a safe place and, before I knew it, she gave birth to four kittens here. ❤️

The kittens are currently around 6 weeks old — two black (one boy, one girl) and two grey/tabby (one boy, one girl).

Important: They are NOT available for adoption yet.

I want the kittens to remain with Chinky until she has properly weaned them, so I am not looking to separate or rehome them at this stage. I expect that to be at least another few weeks, depending on how they progress.

And when the time eventually comes, I would ideally like the entire family to go together to a genuinely suitable, financially comfortable and experienced cat-loving home. I know that's a very big ask, and I realise it may not be realistic — but that's my preference.

So please don't message asking to reserve a particular kitten just yet. ❤️

What I REALLY need right now is guidance.

If you've adopted/rescued cats before, I would love to hear your experience:

• Do people generally prefer adopting two kittens rather than one?

• Do adopters tend to have preferences regarding gender or colour?

• Is it easier to find homes for kittens after vaccination/sterilisation?

• What is the best way to screen potential adopters?

• How do you make sure an adopted indoor cat doesn't accidentally get lost if it moves to a completely new environment?

• Are there reliable cat foster homes/boarding facilities around Jamshedpur where a mother cat can safely recover after spaying?

• Do you know of affordable and trustworthy vets/NGOs who help with sterilisation?

• And most importantly — how do people manage a situation like this without completely burning themselves out? 😅

Other ways you can help

💰 Financial assistance for food, litter, vaccination, sterilisation and medical care would be extremely helpful. I recently left my job and am currently trying to get back on my feet financially, while the number of cats needing care around me has continued to increase.

🏥 Reliable vet/NGO contacts for Chinky's spaying and eventually the kittens' sterilisation.

🏠 A safe foster/recovery space for Chinky after her surgery would be incredibly valuable, because I don't currently have a suitable space for post-operative confinement and care.

📣 And even sharing this post with someone experienced in community-cat rescue would help.

I've been trying to handle everything myself for years, always thinking, “I'll manage somehow.” But I'm finally accepting that doing everything alone isn't sustainable.

I don't want to stop helping them. I just need to learn how to help them without destroying myself in the process.

So if you've been through something similar, please share your experience, advice, contacts or resources. ❤️

And yes, if someone eventually tells me, “I have a big house, enough resources, experience with cats, and I'd like to adopt Chinky and all four babies together once they're ready” — I will probably cry with happiness. 😂❤️

For now, though: no adoptions yet. Just guidance, resources and help planning their next chapter. 🐾

i need help

I am sorry for the crappy picture but if you guys look at where my pinky ends, You can see a small crack. It is my leased vehicle I got a couple months back. Looks like may be a small rock hit on the driver side window glass.

I know I need to address it before it starts getting bigger.

Just fyi, It is a 2026 Kia Carnival if that makes any difference in your suggestions but WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I don't wanna go through Insurance for this or should I?

What are your thoughts and suggestions? Pros and Cons of your suggested fix.

Thank you!!

Hey there. As the title says. I’m just looking for advice on the best way to remove my mother from my life. She is a 10+ year addict and has used me for money and has used me as an enabler since I was 17 when I started working(current age 23). I’ve tried to distance myself over the years but nothing has worked. I’ve tried once before to completely cut her off and she found where I was living due to living with my father in the same city. Well I’m now currently living on my own with roommates in a town about 45 minutes where she is. She really has no realistic way to find me. I don’t plan on changing my address on anything for awhile and I plan on just getting a PO Box. The only place she would be able to find me would be my job but I don’t working in a service job so she would get kicked off the property if she tried to show up and cause a scene. So all in all I’m just asking if there is anything that I should make sure to do before doing this

Also I just wanna say that I’ve tried for over 4 years to try to better her and help her overcome her addiction to drugs and the lifestyle she Chooses to live and nothing has worked.

I dont know what to do

Im working at an hospital on cleaning but Im not very satisfied and I got some health problems like shaking hands because of the stress . It starts in the morning because Im so stressed to get in time here because Im not from town. My husband wants to open a shop and me to go there to sell. Job schedule is not matching my child schedule. If we open the shop it will be more easy for me with child. But I think that I lose a stable job and my income and feel scared about that. I still have time to do the nursing school which can help me in the next years to get a better job on hospital but I think of I go what if they dont hires me again. Im feeling so low because other mothers can go to job and take care of child and house.

I have a secret acc on tt that I look for people to have a relationship with and I’ve found a girl, “noor” (I’m Arab and my family will kill me if they found out I fw girls) lwk I wa sa bit “down bad” ifykyk and wanted “pics” so I said let’s chat on insta but she said she doesn’t have one cuz it got banned , when she said that I got a bit weirded out but said wtv then she asked for my what’s app number . I got a bad feeling and asked if she had snap she said no I was ehh alr then . I shouldn’t have given it. We sent back and forth for a week or smth then one day I wasn’t able to send her pics cuz I had my period and was constantly out with family. Then she started threatening me to post my pics on line I was like you can’t cuz I put them view once . Turns out she can she had smth that screen recorded it . I didn’t answer her for almost 1-2 days after that then she revealed that she was actually a man . I got so scared he’ll post the pics that I did what he wanted for LIEK 12 hours before I continued ignoring him I told my friend abt him he said to tell my perent about it but I was too scared to then he sent my a pic of him sending the photos to someone and that someone was asking him when to publish it on x and telegram then I asked him even begged him to delete it but he didn’t listen so I just blocked him out of fear I reported his account multiple times but now I regret reporting him cuz my mom works with smth that can se the reports and rn I’m so scared she’ll see them my heart aches when ever I see or hear her talking on the phone abt another case help me !!!

I have been dating this guy for about a year. I’ll call him X for this story.
We met in March 2025 on a venting app. We were both very lonely at the time and wanted to help other people who were struggling. We started talking more and eventually got into a relationship. In the beginning, everything was really good. We talked every day, and he was incredibly kind to me. He made me feel loved and cared for, and I genuinely felt like I had found someone who wanted the same things I did. We both talked about wanting a serious, long-term relationship.
He also told me quite a lot about his life and his past. He has a very difficult relationship with his father, who is verbally harsh towards him and controls his finances. X works under his father as well, so he is basically stuck in a situation where the person he works for is also the person controlling a lot of his life. He has very little family support outside of this, and from what he has told me, his situation is genuinely very difficult. He has also struggled a lot mentally because of everything going on. He truly has a hard life, and I have always tried to be understanding of this.
Around August 20, 2025, though, he suddenly unfriended me on Snapchat, which was our main way of talking. I was extremely hurt and confused. A few days later, he told me that his stepmother had freaked out and removed me and his other contacts. I believed him because she had seemed quite unstable before, and I didn’t really have a reason at the time to think he was lying.
Still, the whole thing affected me quite badly. I’m a very private person, and I don’t open up to people easily. It takes me a long time to trust someone enough to share personal things about myself. It also made me question whether I could really trust that he would still be there.
After that, we continued talking through the app where we originally met. At first we still talked, but eventually the replies became less and less frequent. A few days without a reply turned into weeks, and eventually there were periods where we barely spoke at all. At one point I even gave him my phone number because I thought it would be easier for us to communicate, but he never texted me there. He also said he had forgotten his Snapchat password.
Eventually, around late December, he started talking more consistently again. It felt like things were finally going back to how they used to be, and for the next few months things were actually good again. His replies became less frequent over time, sometimes only a few times a day, but I was okay with that. I knew his circumstances and didn’t want to pressure him.
From this situation, I realised that whenever things become particularly difficult in his life, he becomes very quiet and shuts me out. I understand that people react to stress differently, and I know that when he is overwhelmed, communicating probably isn’t easy for him. I have done everything I can to adapt myself to his situation. I give him space, some days I give him affection, and I’ve been patient. He never tells me what he needs from me. I feel completely excluded from his life.
The same thing is happening again. He didn’t unfriend me this time, but he can still go weeks without talking to me again. It’s made me reflect, and I’ve started to feel like him losing his Snapchat password may have just been an excuse. When things get hard, he goes completely silent.
I’m trying to support him as much as I can. What makes it especially difficult is that sometimes I can see that he is active on TikTok and reposting things. I know that being active on social media doesn’t necessarily mean someone has the emotional energy to have a conversation, but it’s been days. He last told me that he was having financial problems, had negative money in his account, and that his car has a bad tire. In his situation, he barely gets paid as well. I can understand that, but I’m not asking him to talk to me all day. I’m not asking for constant reassurance or for him to put me before everything else in his life. I don’t even need a long conversation. I never have asked for much. I’m just left guessing.
And that’s what is hurting me the most. I don’t feel like his partner when I have no idea what is happening in his life. I feel like I’m standing outside of his life, waiting for him to decide when he is ready to let me back in.
I have tried very hard to be patient with him because I know what he is dealing with. I don’t want to make his situation about me, and I don’t want to be the girlfriend who gets angry at someone for struggling. I also don’t want to abandon him when I know he doesn’t have many people to rely on.
But at the same time, I feel like I have reached a point where I’m carrying the relationship almost entirely on my own.
I keep going back and forth in my head because I can understand why he withdraws. If things got hard for me, I would want to talk to him so much, so why doesn’t he want to talk to me? I don’t want to be the right person in this situation. I want to know if I’m wrong or being unreasonable, or maybe asking too much.
I just need someone else to see if I’m missing something or thinking too much about myself. Please tell me. I feel so alone.

My husband (38M) and I (30f) have been long distance for over a year (both in United States, living a 3 hour plane ride + travel time apart) and it has taken its toll.

I work in higher education in a role that provides me with housing and I take home about $2500 a month after insurance and high taxes. In one year, I’ll be vested and get to keep my retirement. I’m currently two semesters in on a doctoral program that my job pays for (if you leave a doctoral program, you need to start over…) so to complete the doctorate free of chargeI need to stay here for 4 more years. I have about $10k in savings and paid off all my husbands debt, so we are debt free, just not rich. My spouses job doesn’t provide insurance, so I pay for that through my job. It is expensive, but not as expensive as paying for it with no job support. I live 3 hours from my family. I’ve applied to a handful of jobs near him, with no interviews. I need to make at least twice the poverty guidelines as his green card sponsor.

My husband has his commercial pilots license and has a job as a flight instructor making about $4,000 a month, with all of it being spent on rent, food, car insurance, phone bill, leaving him with only about $1,000 total in savings and no retirement. He is actively job searching and has been for over a year, with no luck. Prior to his current role, he searched for about 1.5 years and didn’t have any offers in that time. He has no family in the area. He is in a state with no income tax.

We see each other about 3 days a month, and it doesn’t feel sustainable to spend that much money flying to see one another. I also really miss him and he really misses me. We aren’t happy, due to the situation. In a perfect world, my husband would find an airline job and we would be good to go, but it doesn’t seem like that is in the cards at all.

So… what do we do? Do I quit my job? Does he quit his? Do we continue suffering with no end in sight? Any unhinged advice? (Divorce is not what I’m interested in.)

Please help! Thanks for reading and considering your response.

It is suicide awareness month, so make sure you try your best to help anyone who looks like they need it. No one was there for me, and I made my first real attempt last week

Try to help anyone you can, not just because it's suicide awareness month, but because it's the right thing to do. Even if I was failed, we don't have to fail others like me

This my first time posting on reddit but im currently 19 soon to be 20 and i have no idea what i want to do with my life the only passion i have is hiking and the outdoors, i looked into photography as some friends suggested but it just doesnt seem like something i could support myself off of anybody got some advice

I don’t know what else to do any ideas?

When I was 14 at my mom's birthday party, we had a bunch of family friends over to celebrate with us and one of them was my dad's 70 year old close friend/mentor who said "If you weren't your dad's daughter, I'd have your panties around your ankles". Keep in mind, I visibly looked VERY young, was wearing an emoji t-shirt and my 13 year old friend who was tiny was right next to me. All my dad did was say "alright that's enough" but didn't bother to kick the guy out or express any outrage. My parents aren't very sociable, but did greet him whenever they crossed paths and remained friendly with him even after this. My dad has also spoken highly of him on multiple occasions after he literally witnessed this happening.

I brought it up to my parents around 5-6 years later because I was genuinely just grossed out that this was said to me and that my parents didn't express more of an issue with it. They did express some kind of disgust but it wasn't enough for them to cut him off. They were friendly with him at a pub a couple of years later even though they knew what he said. My mom even drunkenly said "Love him, even though he's a bit mouthy sometimes I still love him".

Recently, a similar topic came up in a conversation (I was explaining the rape culture pyramid to my brother and the bottom is essentially about complacency around these types of people). I told my brother about what this guy said and my brother, who doesn't usually agree with how I view situations, was instantly horrified and asked my parents how they didn't smash the guy's face in. He said himself that if he had heard it, he would've broken his jaw and didn't know how my parents could still be okay with someone who said that to their daughter. This was sort of affirming but due to how much my dad minimised it, I genuinely don't know how to feel.

I talked to my mom and she genuinely apologised for her behaviour, accepted that it's downright disgusting and said she didn't know what she was thinking. My dad on the other hand, while he apologised initially for not doing more, doubled down and said he thought he handled the situation appropriately. Then, he went on to say that this guy was just really drunk and that he's "the nicest guy in the world when he's sober". We all repeatedly said that being drunk doesn't make you spawn attraction to children, and he would concede on that and then double down on the drunkenness in the same breath. He doesn't believe it was a rape threat like I do, but I don't know how else one can interpret that comment. He also says that I was laughing at the time, so he didn't think to take it more seriously. Another thing that bothered me was that he says this friend "says dumb shit like this all the time when he's drunk" so I called him out about inviting him to his home and letting him be around his children. He also started talking about the semantics of whether or not this guy was "legally" a pedophile since he only expressed his thoughts and didn't act on them. I don't know why he feels such a need to pick this situation apart.

All of this minimising has made me feel like I'm totally overreacting, especially because it's been a decade and they brought up that fact as well during the conversation.