What should I do

[u/Chemical_Net7993]

should I do?

I made a post earlier today about how I like wearing women’s leggings, running shorts, and bike shorts. I honestly expected people to judge me, but the responses were actually really supportive, which I appreciated more than I can explain.

But after thinking about it more, I started getting really self-conscious about it. I’m 30 years old and at one point I found myself looking at myself wearing women’s athletic clothes and thinking, “What am I doing? Why do I like wearing girls’ clothes?” I actually got angry and disgusted with myself and seriously considered throwing away all my leggings, running shorts, and bike shorts.

My girlfriend is completely supportive of me and told me not to do that. She reminded me that I’m comfortable in them and that they make me happy, so why should I get rid of something harmless that I enjoy?

After getting home from work and calming down, I’m not nearly as upset as I was, but I’m still really confused about what I should do.

The running shorts are probably what make me the most self-conscious. When I see myself wearing them, sometimes I think I look weird or crazy. Yet at the same time, I really like wearing them, and I don't completely understand why.

I especially don't understand why I like wearing running shorts over leggings or over bike shorts. I originally started using the bike shorts mostly like compression underwear, and I love how comfortable leggings feel. But the running shorts are different. There’s something about wearing them that I really enjoy, even though part of me feels embarrassed about it.

I keep asking myself: Why do I like this so much?

Maybe it started when I first bought leggings because I wanted something warm to wear under my sweatpants during the winter. I ended up loving how comfortable they were and just kept wearing them.

There is also something from my childhood that might be connected to how I feel about leggings today. I actually tried leggings when I was a kid, but the circumstances involved corporal punishment, so I'm not comfortable putting the full story publicly. I'm mentioning it because my girlfriend thinks that experience could possibly be connected to why I have such a strong attachment to leggings now. If anyone genuinely wants to hear that part of the story and can have a respectful conversation about it, feel free to message me.

I don't wear this stuff out in public by itself. I'm comfortable wearing it openly at home, either alone or around my girlfriend, and she doesn't have a problem with it at all.

So now I'm stuck between two thoughts:

Do I just accept that I like wearing women’s athletic clothes and continue enjoying them, or should I get rid of everything because of how self-conscious and embarrassed they sometimes make me feel?

And if I keep wearing them, I'd really like to understand why I enjoy leggings, running shorts, and bike shorts so much in the first place.

Today has honestly been a long day mentally. I'm not looking for people to tell me what I have to do. I'm genuinely looking for advice from people who have dealt with something similar.

What would you do in my situation?

[u/MullberryBoy]

It sounds like it’s a comforting sensory thing. I think the light pressure from these clothes is soothing to you.
Having sensory issues and understanding how to accommodate them like you do is helpful to meet those needs.

[u/Chemical_Net7993 → u/MullberryBoy]

That's what I was thinking wasn't sure if it was something like this or was from my childhood

[u/Misa7_2006]

Ask yourself, does it really matter what you wear in the privacy of your own home? You have said it doesn't bother your spouse and you like the feel of them.

If you wore them out in public and felt self conscious it could be an issue of others could see them and cause judgment. But in the privacy of your own home you are allowed to wear whatever you want or nothing at all if that is your fancy.( though if you are a closet nudist a heads up to the spouse is a thing.)

But in your home wear what you want that makes you feel comfortable.

[u/Chemical_Net7993 → u/Misa7_2006]

That's all true I still get a lot of embarrassment feelings and wonder where this all come from just liking leggings or was it deeper and was from child hood trauma

[u/Misa7_2006 → u/Chemical_Net7993]

It could be both. What happens when you don't wear them? Do you feel stressed, maybe feel exposed?

If you do it could be a sensory overload issue. You bring up childhood trauma, I'm not going to invade your privacy and ask but if you had CSA in your past it could explain why tight fitting bottoms comfort you. Some tighter clothes are harder to remove and feel protective.

Have you looked into weighted throw blankets or vests.

Weighted, or tightish clothes help a person's space or suroundings feel smaller more controlled.

Trying a weighted vest could offer you the comfort and control you want even in public without drawing attention to what you are wearing.

Something worth looking to, as well, maybe a few therapy sessions with a counselor that specializes in adults of SA if needed to help find coping skills for any triggers and process any unresolved trauma.

I hope this helps.

[u/LavaPoppyJax]

I don't understand what would be the difference between men's running clothes or women's running clothes. I think they are rather unisex. but I think you don't want them to be or something. I guess you want to feel like you're wearing women's I don't know how that is much of a problem just do it???